Once he reached the rink, he sat in his car, staring at the dark screen of his phone. Gathering the courage, he tapped the screen and held it eye-level so the retina scan unlocked it.
A single text sat in his inbox.
Cassie: My words aren’t guarded, Roman, they’re gone.
Gone. On some level, he’d known that. She wasn’t holding them back, choosing not to use them. Something inside her wouldn’t let her interact with the world, not anymore. And the thought made him angry. Not sad, he was pissed off.
Because the girl he’d known couldn’t have been kept in a cage. She’d always wanted to be free.
Was she really gone? Or just waiting to come back to them?
Roman: Not gone, Cass. Never gone.
She didn’t respond.
“I swear, Coach had it in for me today.” Roman pushed open the front door.
Charlotte laughed. “Maybe because you’ve been skipping practice.”
“It should only matter how I play in the game tomorrow night.”
Jesse shook his head. “No, it should matter how dedicated you are to the team.”
“Hey!” He dropped his bag near the stairs. “I’m the king of dedication.”
“More like the king of obfuscation.” Charlotte stuck out her tongue.
“Ooo someone remembers her SAT words.” Roman ruffled her hair, and she pushed him away. “But seriously, what does it mean?”
Her lips tipped up into a smile.
“All right, you two.” Jesse wrapped an arm around Charlotte. “No battles to the death tonight.”
“Because we’re going to par-tay?” Roman shook his hips as he walked past them into the kitchen where a full view of the backyard showed dark clouds closing in. “Anyone check the weather today?”
Charlotte took an apple from the bowl on the counter. “Yeah, storm’s coming. I’m just going to stay at Hadley’s after the party so I don’t have to drive in it. I wish Jess would stay with me.”
He pressed a kiss to her cheek. “I’ll be fine.”
Roman mimed puking and grabbed a soda from the fridge before entering the living room. Cassie lay on her stomach with her feet bouncing in the air. Earbuds stuck in her ears and her e-reader rested in her hands.
Was the girl ever not reading?
Jesse stepped up beside him, eyeing his sister with a sigh. “Sometimes I wonder if she’d rather live in her romance novels than in the real world.”
“Is that all she reads?”
He nodded. “She’s obsessed with all this love stuff.”
“A hopeless romantic?” Roman couldn’t help but smile at how adorable she looked with her hair in a knot on top of her head and the clothes she always wore that dwarfed her small frame. At least one thing hadn’t changed. Cassie had always worn anything that let her hide.
But she’d never hid from him, not before.
Hopeless didn’t seem the right word for her. Maybe just a romantic. Cassie Carrigan, the girl who used to run outside in the middle of rainstorms to race down muddy hills, the once owner of a biting tongue was obsessed with love.
It fit in a weird way.
As if sensing them, she turned her head, her eyes going wide. Sitting up, she yanked the earbuds out.
“You’re letting T. Swift out.” Roman sat near her feet and took a sip of his soda.
She inched away from him.
Jesse collapsed into the recliner and pulled Charlotte onto his lap. “Dude, you know what Taylor Swift sounds like?”
Roman shrugged. “Don’t mess with my girl.” He shifted his eyes to Cassie. “Your sister used to make me listen to her when you weren’t around.”
“And you… liked it?” Jesse stared at him incredulously.
Charlotte swatted his chest. “Taylor is the queen. What’s wrong with Roman liking her?”
“Yeah.” Roman crossed his arms, fully aware how ridiculous he looked. “She’s the queen.”
Cassie laughed, a full-throated, Cassie laugh. She chewed on her lip as if trying to prevent herself from making the sound again.
“What are we doing for dinner?” Roman asked. “Za?”
Jesse shook his head. “We figured we’d pick something up on the way to Hadley’s. Charlie promised her we’d come early to help get ready.”
Hadley. He shivered remembering the prank she’d pulled on him in the hall just because he’d tried to let her down easy.
“I see that look.” Charlotte narrowed her eyes. “You are not getting out of this, Roman. You promised her you’d come.”
“It’s just… I tried to be a good guy…”
“And let her down easy? Yeah, I know. But did it ever enter that big head of yours you didn’t need to let her down at all? Hadley’s a flirt—just like you. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“And if I remember correctly, she’d already let you down easy at the diner.” Jesse shot Cassie a grin. “Hadley yelled in the hallway today about having babies with Roman.”
Cassie started choking. When she caught her breath again, her voice was small. “So, you’re all are going to her party tonight?”
Something in her voice sliced through Roman. He couldn’t quite decipher what it was.
Charlotte got off Jesse’s lap and slid onto the couch beside Cassie. “I wish you’d come with us.”
Cassie seemed to stop breathing altogether at the words. Charlotte didn’t know everything, that much was clear. She’d only been friends with Cassie for a few weeks. If she knew her, she’d know the signs. Fear shone in Cassie’s eyes, but what was she afraid of?
An invitation? Having to say no? Being left behind?
Cassie jumped off the couch. “You all have fun,” she mumbled as she practically sprinted from the room.
7
Cassie
Cassie buried herself in the blankets on her bed and settled in for a night of reading. It wasn’t much different from what she normally did on the weekends, though usually she wasn’t in the house alone. On a normal night, Jesse went out, but her dad worked in his home office, and the twins slept right down the hall.
It was fine, she told herself. She’d lock the doors and stay in bed, enjoying the alone time that was all too frequent for her. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to go out and have fun. Getting out of the house, being with friends, sounded so good, so normal.
Yet, she knew as soon as she left, her anxiety would take control of her, and she’d make a giant fool of herself.
Why did she have to be such a freak?
Unable to get into her book—a rarity for her—she sat up and stared at the pictures on the wall, pictures of a happy family, a happy life. In the two years since her mom’s death, she hadn’t taken any down, but she hadn’t added any pictures either.
Her mom’s smiling face stared back at her. There was a time the two of them would go out and perfect strangers remarked how alike they were. Cassie saw it every time she looked in the mirror.
“What would you think of me now, Mom?” She sighed, knowing how disappointed her free-spirited mom would be at how she lived her life, full of fear, closed off from the rest of the world.
It wasn’t all that different from how her dad lived his.
A soft knock sounded on her door, telling her it wasn’t Jesse or Roman because they’d have barged in. Instead, the door opened, and Charlotte’s pretty face appeared. She looked like a china doll with flawless pale skin and wide eyes. Cassie didn’t think she’d ever seen the girl with a hair out of place. Perfection was bred into her as a figure skater—at least, that was what Jesse said back when he was trying not to fall for her.
She offered a tentative smile as if not quite sure she should be in there.
“Hey.” Cassie didn’t know why she could talk to her brother’s girlfriend without the words freezing inside her like they did with just about everyone else. Maybe it was because there was something non-threatening about her diminutive frame or something kind behind the fiery words she liked to throw at Jess
e.
Charlotte closed the door behind her and crossed the room to sit on the end of the bed. “Are you okay?”
A lot of people had asked Cassie that question over the last two years. She usually gave them false encouraging words about how she was fine. But Charlotte might be the only friend she had, so she couldn’t lie. “I’m getting there.” It was the truth. Each two steps forward resulted in one step back, but in the end, she still ended up further along. It was a win, as Annie liked to tell her.
Charlotte smiled. “I wish you were going to the party tonight.” She picked at the comforter. “Everyone from school will be there.”
“Sounds like fun?” Her voice rose on the last word.
Charlotte laughed. “If by fun you mean torture, then yes. Your brother loves these things, but he’ll know everyone there, and they all love him. As soon as I step through the door, I’m going to want to hide in a corner.”
“Isn’t it at Hadley’s? She’s your friend, right?”
Charlotte nodded. “But she’ll be busy doing two things.” She held up two fingers. “Making sure people don’t destroy her house and flirting with Roman.”
Cassie averted her eyes, not wanting to hear about the girls who no doubt vied for Roman’s attention.
Charlotte seemed to pick up on her mood. “It’s innocent, though. She doesn’t actually like him.”
“I don’t understand.” Her brow scrunched. “Why flirt if there’s no purpose?” Cassie couldn’t remember the last time she’d flirted with anyone. She’d have to leave the house for that.
Charlotte shrugged. “Beats me. Before Jesse, I did everything I could to avoid guys. Roman doesn’t like her that way either—in case you were wondering.”
“I’m not.”
“He’s cute.”
“He’s not.”
Charlotte laughed, and Cassie found her lips curving up before she relented. “Okay, he’s kind of cute.”
“Kind of?” Charlotte quirked a brow. “That boy… if he wasn’t so… Roman, Jesse may have had some competition.”
“He’s very Roman, isn’t he?”
Charlotte doubled over laughing as she nodded. “If he learned to be less like himself, we’d all be better off.” She sucked in a breath and stopped laughing. “You guys were friends, huh?”
Cassie pictured three kids causing trouble back when everything seemed so easy. “He was the best friend I’ve ever had.” She leaned back against her pillows.
“You miss it?”
“I miss a lot of things.” She hadn’t talked about these things with anyone other than Annie. The past belonged in the past, but she couldn’t help the words. “Before I became such a weirdo, things were pretty good.”
“Cassie, you aren’t a weirdo.”
Cassie shrugged. She’d heard that many times before, didn’t make it any truer. She felt weird when all she wanted was to be normal, to go to school with her brother and reserve Fridays for skipping school to go to the beach, not the therapist.
When was the last time she’d felt sand underneath her feet?
A crash of thunder made both girls jump. Cassie put a hand to her chest and started her breathing exercises.
Charlotte looked to the door before leaning toward Cassie. “For the record, I’m not the only one who wishes you’d be with us.”
Cassie didn’t get a chance to ask what she meant because her door swung open. The boys stood on the threshold.
“We should head to Hadley’s before the storm gets too bad.” Jesse glanced from his girlfriend to his sister.
Charlotte jumped from the bed. “Aye aye, Captain. I’m ready to walk the plank.”
“The party won’t be that bad, Charlie.”
She stared at him like he was stupid. “Says you.” Grabbing his arm, she pulled him from the room.
Roman didn’t leave, so Cassie met his gaze in question.
As if reading her mind, he shook his head. “Headache.”
She nodded and slid her Kindle onto her lap, tapping the screen to wake it up. Roman eventually left her to her romance, and she used Cade to try to forget about him.
The front door slammed, signaling Jesse and Charlotte’s departure. Lightning lit up her room before throwing it into darkness once more. She sank further beneath the covers, as if they could keep her in her own world a little longer.
8
Roman
The house was too quiet.
There was no sound save for the thunder rumbling outside. Roman should have been used to silence since his parents were so rarely home when he lived with them. But the Carrigan house was always different—or, it was supposed to be. He loved it because the twins caused trouble and Jesse talked constantly.
Their dad was a looming presence, keeping himself distant from his kids. But, at least he was around, unlike Roman’s father.
And Cass… well, no that wasn’t any different on this night. She hid in her room like always, afraid of letting herself feel anything. Joy. Grief. Anger. None of it penetrated the shell around her.
The only people who seemed to make her smile were the twins. She’d always loved them, but now she held onto them even tighter.
The lights flickered as Roman puttered around the kitchen, looking for something to eat. He’d begged off grabbing pizza and going to the party. He just wasn’t in the mood. The headache was a lie and not a very good one. Jesse saw right through him.
But what he didn’t seem to notice was Cassie’s expression when she heard they were all leaving her for the evening. It was almost like she was… afraid to be alone.
As another crack of thunder ripped through the air, he was glad he stayed. He pictured Cassie huddled under her blankets, trying not to shake. Even as a kid, she’d never feared much. When they climbed trees, she went higher than anyone. When they wanted to cause trouble, it was usually her idea.
But storms, well, they were her kryptonite.
He found some of the twin’s canned lunches in the pantry and searched for the can opener. He couldn’t cook like Jesse, but he made a mean SpaghettiOs. Dumping the can into a bowl, he put it in the microwave and went to grab a bottle of water from the fridge.
If Cassie was the same girl she’d always been, she wouldn’t be in her room for long, especially if the storm grew more vicious. He took his dinner from the microwave and scooped half of it into a second bowl, carrying both into the living room with his water tucked under his arm.
Setting them on the coffee table, he turned the TV to the NHL Network to see who was playing. A few minutes later, her footsteps on the stairs made him smile.
Yep, she was still his Cassie.
No, not his. He had to remind himself constantly they weren’t friends anymore. But he missed her.
Cassie stepped into the living room and bit her lip, nervousness flitting across her face.
Roman lifted his spoon. “I cooked dinner. Gourmet, fresh from the can.”
Cassie opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She walked toward the couch as a jolt of thunder made her jump. A yelp left her mouth, making Roman smile.
“Still scared of storms, Cassie-girl?”
“And everything else.” She jerked back as if surprised to hear her own voice.
Roman’s smile widened. “Come on.” He nudged the bowl he’d prepared for her. “Eat up so you grow big and strong. Then maybe all those massive clothes will fit you.”
She scowled and pulled her legs up under her. Her annoyance only lasted a moment before hunger won out and she reached for the bowl, settling it in her lap. “SpaghettiOs.” She mouthed the word, one eyebrow raised.
“Like I said.” Roman shot her a wink. “Gourmet. Now, don’t go getting jealous of my mad cooking skills. I’m sure there are things you’re good at too. Like scowling. A+ for that.”
Her scowl lessened, and she looked away, but he suspected it was to hide a smile. Cassie had never been able to help her smiles, especially when it came to his stupid jokes.
“Look at us.” He couldn’t stop talking if he tried, needing to fill the silence between them and see her smile again. “Eating together like two normal people. Almost like you don’t hate me.”
Any hint of a smile fell from her face. “I don’t hate you.” She didn’t elaborate, but it was the best dang thing Roman had heard in a long time.
“Careful, Cass-Cass. I might start thinking there’s hope for us.”
She didn’t lift her eyes from her dinner to acknowledge the statement, but it didn’t make Roman feel it any less. Days ago, he thought he was leaving Gulf City for good, that he wouldn’t see people like Cass and Jesse again.
But now… he was there living in her house, and he’d do anything to bring her back to him.
The lights flickered as the storm raged outside. Cassie jerked her head up as something hit the glass sliders. Pushing the bowl from her lap, she jumped up and ran for the doors.
“Cass, what are you doing?” Roman followed her.
She peered into the dark, and he tried to find what she was looking for. A chair slid back against the glass, pushed by the wind.
Before he could stop her, Cassie yanked open the door. Freezing rain pelted them both, and Roman cursed as she ran into the storm.
“Cass!” Roman ran out after her, his clothes soaking as a torrent of water pounded him. Lightning lit the sky, illuminating the rising pond. “Cassie!” He doubted she could hear him over the rain, but he saw her trying to drag porch furniture toward the door.
He ran to her side. “Leave it! We have to get inside.”
“No,” she screamed. “I can’t.”
Realizing she wasn’t budging, Roman lifted the opposite end of the couch she was dragging, and together they carried it to the door. Once it was inside, Cassie darted back out for a chair.
Something flashed in the grass beyond the concrete deck they stood on. “Cassie,” Roman yelled to no avail. She shoved another chair into the house before whirling around and freezing where she stood.
Roman and the Hopeless Romantic (Gulf City High Book 2) Page 5
