“Cass, I think I’m…”
She peered up at him, her heart pounding at her confessions. “What are you?”
He shook his head and rested his chin on her shoulder. “It doesn’t matter.”
It did. Anything he had to say mattered to her, but she wouldn’t push. A question sat on the tip of her tongue. Why did he give her the chocolates? The words didn’t come as she relaxed into him, wrapping her arms around his back.
He returned the hug, tilting his cheek against the top of her head. She’d never quite realized how important Roman Sullivan was to her until she went without his friendship. She’d been blind to how much her issues hurt the people around her.
Not anymore.
Roman’s breath ruffled her hair as he rubbed circles on her back. He pressed a kiss to her temple as he drifted off to sleep.
The next time Cassie woke, sunlight streamed into the room. A heavy weight held her down. Roman’s arm. A smile curved her lips as she looked into his sleeping face. His blond hair sat messy on his head, and a bit of drool crusted at the corner of his mouth.
A clearing throat had her jerking her head up.
Both Jesse and her father stood in the doorway. Her father’s face was calm, but Jesse looked ready to murder someone. Kicking the blankets off her legs, Cassie scrambled out from underneath Roman’s arm.
He still didn’t wake.
Her dad turned and left the room, but Jesse continued to stare, his gaze burning into Cassie.
“I can explain.” As soon as the words left her mouth, anger welled up in her. “You know what? Actually, I don’t have to explain anything to my brother, so stop looking like such a disappointed parent.” She stormed past him, hoping he wouldn’t follow.
But it was probably better for him to take his frustrations out on her instead of Roman.
She kicked her bedroom door shut, but Jesse’s foot stopped it from closing.
“Did you spend the night with him?” His eyes narrowed as he prowled into her room.
“Not that it’s any of your business, but he’s sick.” She scowled. “I was taking care of him because I’m his friend.”
“You’re naïve if that’s all you think he wants. Date him, I don’t care, but you can’t spend the night in his room.”
“Sure, Dad. Whatever you say, Dad.” He’d acted like he was responsible for her ever since their mom died and their dad checked out. Newsflash, she was only one year younger than him. They weren’t even in different grades of school since she was in her accelerated online program. “You can go now.”
“Cass—”
“I said go.” She pointed to the door.
He clenched his jaw but held in whatever scathing words he wanted to throw at her as he stomped from the room.
She was under no illusions her brother didn’t spend the night with Charlotte at Hadley’s party during the storm. Did he think less of his girlfriend? What right did he have?
She kicked her bed frame, cursing the pain shooting through her foot.
Slamming her door open, she stormed into the bathroom and turned the shower on. Maybe she could scald the anger away. Steam swirled around her, soaking into her pores as she stepped under the hot spray.
But it didn’t soothe the ire.
What were they even doing barging into Roman’s room? That was the million-dollar question. Thoughts of Roman made her finish her shower quickly. He was probably still sick and had no clue what was going on.
She dried herself off and slipped into linen pants and a t-shirt. Her dark hair hung wet around her shoulders, soaking into the shirt. But she didn’t stop to dry it. Knocking on Roman’s door, she pushed it open.
He slept as if nothing had happened, as if her dad and brother hadn’t found him curled around their precious Cassie.
Grumbling something she couldn’t make out, he turned onto his side.
“Rome,” she whispered, glancing back at the door to make sure Jesse couldn’t hear her.
He lifted one eyelid. “Ughhh I feel like crap.”
“I’m sorry.” She brushed sweaty hair back from his forehead. “Are you hungry? I can bring something up.”
“Starving actually. But I think the only thing I could eat is toast.”
She nodded. “Coming right up.”
She refused to be cowered by Jesse. Holding her chin high, she walked down the hall and descended the stairs. She hadn’t done anything wrong. He’d see that if he paid any attention at all.
She stopped in the doorway of the kitchen, not believing the sight before her. Her dad stood behind the stove with his old grilling apron tied around his waist. Her mother gave that to him for his birthday one year, and she could still see the joy on his face, how much he loved anything she bought for him.
But he hadn’t worn it in the two years she’d been gone. In fact, it was the first time in years she could remember him cooking. That task usually fell to Jesse.
He pointed a spatula at her, giving no indication how he felt about what he’d seen. “Pancakes?”
“You’re making pancakes?” She slid onto a stool at the counter, resting her chin on her hand. She could almost forget about her fight with Jesse when she saw her dad doing something so dad-like, so normal.
He nodded, his lips turning up into a half-smile. “I did.” He looked so proud of himself, Cassie slid off the stool and rounded the counter to wrap her arms around him. Because she was proud of him too.
She was proud of both of them.
They didn’t mention the furniture he’d donated the night before, but they didn’t need to.
Will ran into the kitchen and snagged a piece of bacon from the plate before their dad could swat him away. Eli hopped onto a chair at the table, waiting patiently.
Even Jesse appeared, the scowl from before gone from his face. No one could be angry at a sight like this.
Will’s cackling filled the silence around them until their dad started to hum.
Yep, hum.
It was a familiar tune, one he sang when they were younger. He punctuated the notes with flicks of his spatula.
Cassie and Jesse shared a smile.
“Oh.” She’d almost forgotten. “Roman wants some toast.”
“Toast?” Their dad looked offended. “In this house, when there are pancakes, we eat them.”
She smiled at that, enjoying the laughter in his voice that had been gone so long. “He’s sick, Dad.”
Understanding dawned in his eyes.
“I’ll make his toast.” Jesse pulled a loaf of bread out of the fridge. “You stay down here.”
She wanted to bite back at him, but she couldn’t take her eyes off her dad… who’d started dancing.
Ignoring Jesse, she laughed. “Who are you, and what have you done with my dad?”
He passed her a plate piled high with pancakes. “Table, kiddo.”
As soon as she set the plate in front of the boys, they attacked, lunging across the table for pancakes.
Jesse disappeared up the stairs with a plate for Roman and a determined look on his face. Cassie only rolled her eyes before returning her attention to the little monsters eating all her pancakes. She yanked the plate out of their reach, laughing when they emitted identical whines.
Their dad walked over a moment later with another plate. “We have more!”
Will cheered, and Eli’s face lit up.
Cassie loved her family. After everything they’d been through, all the trauma that still lived with them, here they were. A single unbreakable unit.
Well, she hoped they were unbreakable.
Because when she tried to meet her dad’s eyes, he looked away. “Cassie, after breakfast, meet me in my office.”
And that was how the facade faded.
20
Roman
Jesse sat on the edge of the desk, staring at Roman as if trying to figure him out, and Roman was too sick to care.
He nibbled on the toast his friend brought, trying to keep his
stomach from pushing it back up.
“You weren’t sick at the game.” Jesse crossed his arms.
“I’d been tired all day, but it didn’t hit me until the diner. Probably just a quick bug.”
Jesse pressed his lips together. “You never mentioned you felt ill.”
What was this? An inquisition? “Do you think I’m faking it?” He laughed. That was ridiculous. Of course, Jesse didn’t think that. He’d have no reason to.
But Jesse shifted his eyes away.
Roman pushed himself up in bed. “What’s going on?”
“Why was my sister in here this morning?”
Warning bells rang in Roman’s head. Alert. Alert. Backtrack. “We must have fallen asleep.” He wouldn’t tell his friend about the late-night honesty session or how right she’d felt in his arms, even if he was sick.
Jesse blew a breath past his teeth. “I think I messed up.”
Roman lifted an eyebrow. “What did you say to her?”
“I can’t really remember. I was so angry. There was yelling.”
“Wonderful,” Roman groaned. “You do realize she can do whatever she wants, right? I didn’t force her to take care of me last night.”
“I know.”
“Then why are you such a jerk?”
“She’s my sister.”
Roman dropped the toast onto the plate. “That’s not an excuse. Didn’t you tell me just last night you were fine with my feelings?” Jesse opened his mouth to speak, but Roman cut him off. “She’s finally starting to heal and make decisions separate from her anxieties. Yet, you yell at her for it?”
“I don’t need you talking to me about her issues. I know my sister better than you.”
“Apparently not. Did you know she asked me to kiss her?”
Jesse stopped moving, his face twisting in disgust. “Some things I don’t need to know, man.”
“It was just an experiment for her. Her therapist wanted her to speak and act with open honesty, without thinking.”
“She… talked to you about therapy?” He rubbed his jaw, his voice growing quiet. “She never tells me about it.”
Roman shrugged. He couldn’t explain why Cassie trusted him enough to talk about her fears and not her family, why she chose him. But he’d never take that away from her. “She needs me, but Jess, I need her too.”
Jesse scrubbed a hand across his face. “Are you two like… together now? I just need a warning.”
“I don’t think so.”
“You don’t know?”
Roman leveled him with a stare. “Have you ever been able to read that girl’s mind?”
“Good point. What are you going to do?”
“Whatever she needs.”
Jesse tapped his fingers against the edge of the desk. “I have to stay a bit longer. She thinks I’m up here yelling at you.”
Roman laughed. “Couldn’t have her think anything else now, could we?”
One of Jesse’s shoulders rose in a half-shrug. “I have an image to keep up.”
Roman sank back against the pillows, exhaustion weighing him down. But he couldn’t stay in bed all day. He reached up a hand. “Help me up.”
Jesse hopped from the desk and clasped his hand, helping him out of bed. Roman stood, wobbling on unsteady legs. The greasy scent of bacon wafted into his room, curdling in his stomach. Any other day, he’d crush more strips than he should.
“I should warn you.” Jesse kept his grip on his arm as they made it to the door. “My dad knows about last night too.”
Roman closed his eyes. “Just perfect.” He didn’t know how he could face Mr. Carrigan, but the guy rarely came out of his office. Hopefully, Roman could find Cassie without running into her dad.
At the bottom of the stairs, he gripped Jesse’s arm. “I need to find her on my own.” Pain pounded through his head, and nausea curled in his gut, but he had to talk to her.
He’d come so close to telling her how he felt last night, but confessions in the dark weren’t enough.
He just didn’t know what she’d say in return.
Jesse left him in the hall with a bro-nod. Voices came from the partially open door of Mr. Carrigan’s office.
“I’m sorry, Dad.” Defeat coated her words.
“Cass, this is for the best.” Mr. Carrigan had the decency to sound contrite.
“I already told you, I just fell asleep. Roman and I are just becoming friends again. I can’t handle anything more than that.”
“I know. I just—”
“I promise I don’t have feelings for Roman.”
That sinking feeling in his gut? No, that wasn’t his nausea. He’d been heading down a path he thought led to Cassandra Carrigan, the girl he’d always needed in his life, the one who’d already hurt him too many times.
But what was once more?
He sank back away from the door, not listening to the rest of the conversation. He couldn’t. If he stayed there, he’d barge in, wanting her to repair the cracks her words caused.
But if he’d learned anything from Cassie, it was that the only person you could count on was yourself.
21
Cassie
When Cassie was a little girl, the couch in her dad’s office was a familiar place. If she was invited to sit in there with him, it usually meant she was in trouble.
Her mom didn’t have the heart to issue out punishments to her ornery kids. Well, to Cassie at least. She’d always been her mom’s favorite—not that she’d ever tell her brothers that. But Jesse knew.
He hadn’t cared because he’d had their dad.
That’s not to say their mom neglected any of her kids. She was the best mom in the world. But she found Cassie’s troublemaking to be more funny than punishment-worthy.
They shared that wild spirit. The spirit Cassie lost the day she lost her mom. She often wondered if it died with her, just like her dad’s joy seemed to fade into memory.
Now, here she was in the same place. The couch wasn’t the same piece of furniture that sat in the room when she was a kid, but it took up the same space.
Cassie curled her legs up under her, trying to get comfortable on the unfamiliar leather sofa. “It’s too stuffed.”
“What?” Her dad looked up from where he’d been checking his phone.
“The couch. I don’t like it so stuffed.”
One corner of his mouth curved up. “It just hasn’t been used enough.” He met her gaze, probably calling forth the same memories as her. Their “conversations” used to be a bi-weekly occurrence at the minimum. Sometimes Jesse or Roman would be beside her awaiting their own punishments. Other times, Cassie took the blame for whatever the three of them did.
It was usually her fault.
She stretched her arms along the back of the couch, trying to act as if being there didn’t bother her. It was a tactic she’d learned when she was eight years old. Though, her short arms at that age had to stretch to reach the back of the tall couch.
“This feels normal.” Her dad set his phone down.
“Annie likes to say there’s no such thing as normal.”
He chuckled. “She’s said that to me a time or two.”
“She told me you two talk.”
“On occasion. It started when I wanted to know how you were doing, but then it became a regular occurrence.”
She dropped her arms and leaned forward. “Dad, you could have just asked how I was doing.”
“No.” He shifted his eyes away. “For a while there, I couldn’t.”
She understood what he meant by that. Their grief, their trauma, was like a vast sea pulling them under. Each time they tried to surface, a wave crashed down around them.
They had to wait for the seas to calm, having faith that one day they would. Maybe their faith paid off. “I think you’re supposed to be punishing me.”
He perched on the corner of his desk and ran a hand down his faded dad-jeans. They were a far cry from the pressed suits he wore almost ever
y day of his life. She glanced around the office, noticing the dark computer screen and clear desk. He wasn’t working today.
When was the last time that happened?
He offered her a tentative smile. “Whenever I used to hand out punishments, your mother would wait outside the office door, eavesdropping and bouncing on her toes.”
Cassie could picture it, and it made her smile. “She was nervous for me.” She laughed. “Even though the only punishments you ever gave me were extra chores or longer reading times in the evening.”
“You sure hated to read.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Now it seems like the only thing you do.”
“I was too young back then to discover romance novels.”
He cringed. “Cassandra.” He stood and moved to the couch, taking a seat beside her. “I won’t pretend to know why we found you asleep in Roman’s room this morning.”
“He was sick, Dad. I didn’t want to leave him alone. We just fell asleep.”
“That’s very admirable of you. This is hard because I see how far you’ve come, and I never want to take anything from you. You’ve lost so much already.”
“Dad—”
“But I am your father. For the time being, I’m also Roman’s guardian. I cannot allow you to date while you’re living under the same roof. I’m disappointed you would even entertain such a thought.”
“I’m sorry, Dad.” Defeat coated her words.
“This is for the best.” He put a hand on her shoulder.
“I already told you, I just fell asleep. Roman and I are only now becoming friends again. I can’t handle anything more than that.” The lie tasted sour on her tongue. There was nothing she wanted more than to kiss Roman again. For real this time.
“I know. I just—”
“I promise.” She stood and paced the length of the room, hoping he couldn’t hear the false note in her tone. “I don’t have feelings for Roman.”
“Sit back down. We aren’t done.” He said it kindly, but she wanted to get out of the office, to find Roman and talk to him. They could keep it a secret. If Roman felt the same way about her, the consequences didn’t matter.
Roman and the Hopeless Romantic (Gulf City High Book 2) Page 13
