by Liz Lovelock
Mom rushes me past Grace, Beau, and Paul, up the stairs and into my bedroom. She sits me down on the edge of the bed. “Charity, what’s wrong?”
My eyes meet hers. “Why didn’t you fight for me? Why did you let him take me?” Tears well again and cascade down my face.
“Oh, honey. It’s nothing like that.” Mom sits beside me and wraps me in her motherly arms. Sobs slam into me like tidal waves crashing against the shore. Mom lets me cry until I’m sure there’s no more left in my tear ducts.
Mom leans back. “Charity, I love you. Why don’t you tell me what happened? How can I help you?”
I want to be angry with her. I can’t, though. “First, I want you to tell me what happened and how I ended up living with Dad instead of you.”
She sighs. “I knew this was coming; I just didn’t know when. Your father was an abusive man. Not only physically, but emotionally. He tore me down until I was a shadow of myself. I’d admitted myself to a hospital of sorts that helped me sort through everything he’d filled my head with. Charity, there came times where I didn’t want to live anymore. You were my reason for living, but the more he ripped me to shreds, the more I felt worthless as your mother. I wasn’t strong enough to fight him for you. So, while I was in this place, getting the help I needed, he packed his and your stuff and left. It was Jase that came over with your new address.”
Pain claws at my chest as she speaks. “So he hurt you too?”
Her eyes fill with tears as she nods. “He did. Is that what he did to you?”
“Yes. I wasn’t allowed friends, and if I did something wrong, he’d hurt me.”
“Just know that whatever he told you is wrong. I came to take you back with me not long after you left, and he beat me too bad and said that you would receive the same treatment if I ever came back. I thought I was doing the right thing by you; I guess I was wrong. I should have done more, fought harder. Tell me what happened outside,” she says, lifting one of her legs to rest on the bed. I do the same.
I rub my face. She’s been through so much, and she let me go to try to save me. If only she knew the truth. “Jase kissed me last night,” I say, my words low.
“Oh, honey, that’s exciting.”
I shake my head. “No, Dad always said if I kissed someone, it would make me a slut. That it’d make me dirty and that no one would ever want me. Please tell me he’s wrong. I’m not a bad person, am I?”
Mom rests her hands on my shoulders. “Now you listen to me. That man was poison. He infected everything he touched and hurt those he was supposed to love and care for. You are beautiful and smart. Don’t let his poison ruin your life like it did mine. I’m so sorry I left you there. So, so sorry.” She yanks me against her chest, and we sit there, crying all the tears of lost years and so much hurt from one man. “Can you ever forgive me?”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “Yeah, of course. I just wanted an explanation. I’m sorry he hurt you as well. Looks like you’ve done so much better, though.” I tip my head toward the door.
A smile brightens her eyes. “Paul’s perfect, and I have no doubt you’ll find someone to treat you the way he treats me someday too.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“I’m here any time you want to talk. If you want to talk to a professional, I can organize that as well. You tell me what you need, and I’ll sort it out.”
“I think it will just take time,” I say.
Mom kisses my forehead and says, “We don’t have to do anything today if you don’t want to.”
“No, I want to do it. It’s not much. Just the final touches before my stuff arrives. Oh, I forgot to mention that all the stuff is being shipped here. Is that okay?”
Mom smiles. “Of course. You can put it in the shed out the back and sort through it as you need to. I’ll help if you want.” She has such a great heart, and I’m so glad she’s my mom. We’ve both gone to hell and back. She managed to climb all the way out and start fresh while I’m still clinging to the rock wall, hoping not to slip and fall down the rabbit hole of hell again.
“Thanks, Mom.” I sniffle.
“You’re my daughter, and I love you. I’d do anything for you.” She pauses a moment then says, “Do you want to give today a miss? It’s okay. We can do something else.”
Shaking my head, I say, “No. I’ve been looking forward to it.”
We spend the rest of the day laughing and enjoying each other’s company. The uncertainty I had coming here is gone. Coming home was the best thing I could have done for my mental state. Being with Mom and my siblings has taught me that love is so much stronger than anything that my father showed me. He was a monster, and the best thing that happened to me was him dying—otherwise I’d still be there, living that life.
Poor, damaged Charity. That girl is still inside me, but I plan to push her so far into the back of my mind that she’s nothing more than a distant memory. Sure, there are going to be times when I break. But I have amazing people to help pick up the pieces, and that’s what matters.
When I finally got the chance to read her message yesterday, it brought the biggest smile to my face, and it even made dealing with my dad a whole lot better. She’d said she wanted to meet Mystery Man as her present. Too bad she’s already met him. With my dad on me and my brother coming home to give a talk at the college, I haven’t had a chance to reply.
Now, here we are on Monday, and I’ve still not seen her around campus like I normally would. It’s as though I have a Charity radar locked into me. When she’s near, it’s as though there’s a current pulsating between us. We’re drawn to each other.
“What’s up, little brother?” Lachlan steps in beside me. We’re very similar in height and build. I’m probably a little wider in the chest, but if that was ever brought up, he’d bring up that he’s lightning on his feet. He’s a great quarterback—a superstar, the news reporters say.
“Hey. How was Dad this morning? I had to get out of there before he gave me the ‘Be like Lachlan’ speech.” Rolling my eyes, I shove him with my shoulder.
“Trust me, once you get drafted somewhere, you’ll be home free to make any decision you want—except if you make some dick moves and end up in the papers and on the sports channel for the wrong reason.” He gives me a sideways glance. Lachlan is a popular and well-known ladies’ man. He recently got into some hot water with some girl he slept with. She tried to fake a pregnancy. That wasn’t happening on my father’s watch.
“Yeah, man, that was a dick move. I hope you’ve reined in Little Lachlan now.” I laugh, tipping my head toward his crotch.
He shoves me. “Shut up. It’s not little. But yes, I’ve been told that if I don’t pull my head in, I risk losing contracts for my future in sports. No one wants someone who draws negative attention to their team.”
“That’s good. Get your head in the game, brother. Not in women’s pants.” My stab results in another shove. My body slams against someone else. I hear a yelp in pain, and then the electric current rushes through me. I don’t even need to look to know who I’ve been pushed into.
I whip around. Charity is on the floor, cradling an armful of books. “Oh, I’m so sorry. My dick of a brother did it.” I pull her upright. Her shining eyes meet mine, and she winces slightly. “What’s wrong?”
She shakes her head. “It’s okay. Just landed on my hip. It’ll be fine. How was your weekend?”
She’s being a lot shyer than the last time I saw her. Just two days ago, she wanted to be close to me.
“It was the usual. Football, and my annoying father, and my brother came home. Speaking of, this is Lachlan. Lachlan, this is Charity.”
He steps forward and takes her hand, giving it a shake. “Pleasure to meet you. Sorry for pushing big boy, here, into you. He can be clumsy sometimes.” He laughs.
“It’s okay. It’s not the first time it’s happened. Probably won’t be the last, given my track record so far. How long are you in town for?” She seems genuinely intere
sted.
“I have to head out today after I give this talk. You know, build up the spirits of young footballers and push them to pursue their dreams and all that. Hey, are you the Charity that Jase hung out with when he was a kid?” Lachlan points at her and gives her a questioning look. My stomach drops, unsure how she’ll take this line of questioning.
Her nervous eyes dance between Lachlan and me before she says, “Yes, that’s me,” with confidence.
“Wow, you’re back. That’s awesome. It was good to see you again. Baby boy here was a smitten kitten when it came to you,” he teases, clapping me on the back so hard that the air whooshes out of me.
Charity giggles and looks away. “Ah… so I’ve heard. Anyway, I better get going. I’ll see you both around.” She holds my gaze for a beat longer, and for the faintest second, her lips tug up on one side.
My eyes follow her as she walks away.
“Brother, can I give you some friendly advice?” Lachlan asks.
“Sure.” We start heading in the direction of the hall where he’s supposed to be talking.
“Don’t let that girl go. I’ve only just met her for a second, but I can clearly see there’s something between you two. The way she looks at you and you look at her—like I said, you’re a smitten kitten. I had that once, but I was stupid. So damn stupid. I won’t let you make the same mistake. So if she’s someone special to you, don’t let her go.”
“I don’t plan to,” I reply. Now that I’ve got Charity in reach, there’s no way I plan to let her go—that is, unless she wants me to. I won’t force her to stay anywhere she doesn’t want to or be with me just because it’s what I want. She’s so much more than a conquest. She’s the queen, and I’m at her beck and call until the day she lets me in to become her king. I’ll wait.
Still nothing. Jase, aka Mystery Man, hasn’t replied to my last message from Friday night, and now it’s Monday and I’ve even seen him. Did I read the whole situation wrong? It’s possible, given this is my first real interaction with a guy. Maybe I messed it up somehow.
Sitting here in class, not really hearing what the teacher is talking about, I stare at my phone as if willing it to light up with a message from him. It’s okay, Charity. He’s been busy with family.
Even as I think about it, I know I shouldn’t feel like this. It’s not like he’s mine, and I’m not his. Well, not officially. He doesn’t even know I know it’s him messaging me.
I can’t take the silence any longer. After unlocking my phone, I type a message.
Charity: Is everything okay? It’s fine if you don’t want to meet me. It was simply a thought that popped into my head. Perhaps we should just spill the beans on who we are.
I’m done with the game. I want him to know it’s me. Damn, I wish I knew how he felt. Part of me thinks it’s possible that he does like me and enjoys my company. After all, he did kiss me again. We made out and slept in the same bed together. Or is this something he does often? Kiss a girl and then hightail it and forget all about her?
Stop overthinking, Charity, I berate myself.
My phone vibrates, startling me so much that I jump in my seat.
Mystery Man: Sorry, the weekend got away from me. Things were a little crazy with the family. How was your weekend? Meeting you would be great. When did you want it to happen? I missed talking to you this weekend.
My heart rate speeds up. He missed talking with me. He missed me. I don’t think I’ve ever been told something like that before.
Charity: My weekend was good. I had a good conversation with my mom after a slight breakdown. Things are better now. I won’t say great, but better. We finished off my room, and now we’re just waiting for some stuff of mine to arrive to add the finishing touches. We can meet whenever you want.
Mystery Man: Are you okay?
Charity: Yeah, I’m okay, or at least I will be. It’ll be a process. So, apparently, I’ve got a party this weekend. How would you feel about meeting there?
Mystery Man: I’d like that very much. I have to run. I’ll talk to you later.
Pop! There goes my happy balloon. Why can’t he talk to me longer? I wonder what his reaction will be when I finally tell him I knew it was him.
“It’s my birthday,” I say to myself in the confines of my room as I lie in bed, staring up at the plain white ceiling. The birds are chirping outside, and I smile. It’s my birthday.
My door flies open, and Gracie comes charging in and jumps up on my bed. “Happy birthday, big sister!” She sits on her knees, using them to bounce herself, causing my body to move with each bounce. “I made this for you.” She hands me a sheet of paper with a drawing of two stick figures which I’m assuming are people.
“Wow, this is so cool. What is it?” It’s probably the best present I’ve ever received. I don’t remember my birthdays with Mom before I was taken away. There are small memories that pop into my head at times, but I wonder if they were even real.
She comes and lies beside me and points to one pink person—the bigger of the two. “This is you, and this is me.”
“Oh, I love it. I’ll have to add it to my wall. Thank you.” Rolling over, I pull her into my arms and embrace her. Tears fill my eyes as my love for her consumes me.
“Arity!” Beau cries.
Releasing Gracie, I search for the little boy that squeaky voice came from. It doesn’t take him long to pull himself up onto my bed and literally launch himself in my direction.
Opening my arms, I welcome him into Gracie’s and my embrace. “Hey there, little man,” I laugh while keeping these two tiny bodies secured against me. I will the overload of emotions to settle. A lump takes up residence in my throat.
“Oh my, I’m sorry,” Mom laughs when she walks in and notices my now full bed. Gracie and Beau wiggle their little butts under the covers and snuggle in close to me. “Wait there, let me grab my phone for a photo.” She exits the room.
“Are we going to have cake today?” Gracie asks, her innocent eyes boring into mine.
“Of course. It wouldn’t be a birthday without cake. Maybe you can help me bake one if Mom hasn’t already done it.” My fingers poke her in her ribs, and she breaks out in a fit of giggles and tries to scramble away. All three of us laugh, and when my focus goes to the door, Mom stands there with her phone in her hand and tears streaming down her face. She gives me a warm smile, which I return before attacking the kids again.
After they’re all tickled out, we climb off the bed and make our way downstairs for a “massive feast,” as Gracie calls it.
My eyes go wide at the actual feast in front of me. “Wow, Mom, this is too much.” My mouth waters as I spot the pancakes and waffles, ice cream, maple syrup, bacon, eggs, and fresh orange juice.
“It’s your first birthday with us, and we want this one—and the rest that follow—to be equally as special. We’ll do presents as well.” She pulls me against her, giving me the tightest embrace.
“Thanks so much. You really didn’t need to do this.” I choke on my words.
“Yes, I did.” She releases me and goes about setting plates out, and we all settle in and have a filling breakfast.
When breakfast is over, I’m so full I think I need to be rolled from the table and out the door to school. I say goodbye to Mom, Paul, and the kids. After I pull the door open, I squeal a little. Jase stands there.
“Damn, you scared the crap out of me. Next time, knock. What are you doing here?” My hand clutches my chest.
Jase chuckles, and it’s like it vibrates right through me even though we aren’t touching. “Happy birthday. I wanted to give you a lift if that’s okay with you.”
How could I deny this man? He stands in front of me with a football team shirt hugging his muscles—those same muscles I ran my hands over. And the memory of them are ingrained in my head.
“Oh, hello, Jase. How are you?” Mom comes to stand behind me.
“I’m good, thanks. I’m just picking up the birthday girl.”
“Gee, thanks, Mom. Way to make me feel special,” I say, rolling my eyes.
“Don’t sass me, girl. I’ve got things to organize.” With that last comment, she shuts the door, and I still haven’t removed my hand from Jase’s chest. Quickly, I snatch it back and take a better hold on my bag before tossing it over my shoulder.
“Well, I guess we’re leaving then.”
“I suppose so. Come on.” He turns and puts an arm around me, guiding me to his car. Opening the door, I go to climb in and pause. There’s a small square box with a tiny red bow resting on top sitting on the passenger seat.
No matter how much I try, I can’t hide my smile. “You didn’t have to get me something,” I gush.
“Who says it’s for you? It’s Paislee’s birthday tomorrow.”
My face heats. “Oh, yeah, sorry. Of course you’d want to get her something. Aren’t you two good friends?”
Jase suddenly busts out laughing. “I’m sorry, the gift is for you.” He comes around and stands behind me, resting his hand on my hip. He leans in and grabs the box. Damn, he smells so good. I turn to face him. We’re close—really close. He holds the box out. I take it with trembling hands.
“You didn’t have to get me anything.”
“Pfft. You deserve something. Not just anything; it had to be special. Open it.” He gestures to the box. Smiling, I lift the lid. A gasp escapes my throat. Tears fill my eyes.
“You remembered.” My eyes don’t move from the charm bracelet in the box. When we were younger, I’d begged my mom for one of these. I’d wanted to save up and buy charms that represented the things closest to me. Lifting the gold chain from the box, I inspect the four little charms hanging on it. There’s a football, a phoenix, the letter C, and a piece of cake.
