by Tara Wimble
It takes awhile for them to get the right shots. Then it’s a few hours of waiting around for head shots and then some video segments to get people hyped about the Cyprus Cup. All things that Bella’s experienced in part with the youth national teams, but it’s so much bigger now that it’s a full national team.
“Mirror, mirror on the wall-” Jacque sneaks up behind her while she’s lingering in the hallway after her photograph. “Who’s going to insist that she’s the prettiest of all?”
“Ass.”
“You.” Jacque shoves her playfully. Her hair is down now and she’s taken her shoes off now that she’s out of the room.
“You all done?”
“Yeah. They thought about saving the best ‘til last but apparently Whemb dibsed that spot.” Jacque shrugs. “I’ll get over it.”
“So humble.” Bella laughs. “What’s happening now?”
“We have a lunch and then they want us in the gym after it.” Jacque remembers. “Get back to the grind and all.”
“It’ll be worth it when we get over there.” Bella says.
“Even more when you get on that pitch.”
Bella rolls her shoulders. “If I make the cut.” Not everyone in the camp will be making the journey over to Cyprus.
“Please.” Jacque pulls one of the sleeves on Bella’s jersey down to its proper position. “They’d be stupid to leave you here. Especially without me. And since I’m so humble, I’m not assuming that I’ll be going.”
Bella scoffs.
Jacque twists the ring on her finger out of habit. “Can’t take one without the other, right?”
Bella’s wasn’t designed for twisting. She still looks at it like a precious object that doesn’t really belong to her. She’s just borrowing it. “Not sure it works that way.”
“Eh, they’ll come around to my way of thinking.”
Bella somehow manages to get them back to the changing rooms to give their kits back on time and then to the dining room in the hotel as they start serving lunch. They’re waved over to Imogen’s table with Whemb, Oliv and Sadie.
Bella kind of feels like Cady Heron trying to walk past the plastics and failing. Except her band of misfit friends aren’t looking at her from afar, Jacque is the one leading them over.
“Welcome to the A-Team table.”
“Don’t let the B-team hear you.” Jacque jokes. “God forbid the C-team.”
Bella finds herself pulling out seats for them both without thinking about it. The blush on her face intensifies as Whemb catches her accidental chivalry. The rest of the team is dotted on the tables around them, enjoying the food and relaxing before the gym session they know is coming to wreck their good moods.
Jacque breaks the ice and directs the conversation around their travel day and what they’ve been up to, so much so that Bella is caught off balance when she’s addressed.
“So how’re you enjoying camp?” Oliv is the first to bring the conversation back to her. “Because if I’m honest, I didn’t think you were a forward on that first day.”
Bella swallows that bitterly. “Neither did the back of the net apparently.”
Whemb laughs at that and Imogen lights up.
“It’s a little different. It’s a lot colder than what I’m used to.”
“What, it’s not like you’ve lived up here for a year.” Jacque points out mockingly. It’s obvious she doesn’t expect Bella to banter back.
“Time goes so fast when you’re around.” The sarcasm in her voice is purposeful and the rest of the table makes jabs at Jacque. Bella laughs at most of them, even the confusing whipping sound that Ginny makes in Jacque’s direction.
“I’m enjoying it though. It’s not as intimidating as-” She doesn’t finish her sentence but the others still guess.
“That’s because we’re not a machine of soccer players being churned out.” Oliv states.
Jacque nods along. “I always saw a lot more pressure being put on the US system. It’s designed to make players excel at all stages.”
There’s a small sigh that goes around that isn’t quite dismissive or envious but Bella can sense the frustration. “We don’t have that grassroots.” Whemb explains. “We have a system but it’s nowhere near what you probably went through in the US and until it gets there, we’re always going to fall short.”
It’s a criticism that everyone seems to be behind. “Don’t get us wrong though. We’re products of hard work, heart and coaches that did their jobs. That’s why we’re here.”
Bella’s heard about this but she can’t really compare. Being a product of the soccer machine as Oliv put it. The curiosity is felt on both sides as Oliv opens up with her own question.
“So why’d you leave?” Oliv picks at some of the sliced fruit she brought back to the table. “Seems like a solid progression; u-15, u-19, u-21. And now here you are.”
Bella’s nerves ball up in her stomach because this answer is all on her. What she makes it will determine, in a sense, how they see her on this team. How much they believe her relationship with Jacque also rides on it.
“Is it bad to say that I lost faith in it?” Bella answers honestly. Because what more is there to think about. “I played up to u-21, won the Nordic Cup and then came back to play club soccer in the WPS.”
She had brushed paths with a lot of the Canadian national team during that time.
“But there was a phasing after my last season. Bill Jameson.” A few of them shudder at the mention of his name. “He basically ended any hope I had of continuing in the WPS.”
Jacque keeps sending glances her way as she treads closer and closer to the actual truth. As if she’s waiting for Bella to come out and say that they got married for the sole purpose of her joining the national team. She’s smarter than Jacque gives her credit for.
“So I went and I coached for Illinois for their off-season. I hated most of it but I figure that was just because I was coaching former teammates and if I got enough qualifications I could try my luck elsewhere and then-” Bella taps the table. Her expression changes so subtly but just enough to be noticed. “That’s where I met Jacque.”
“And a whirlwind ride later- we’re here.” Jacque sums up jokingly.
“All things considered, it does seem as fast as that.” Bella adds. “But um, we hung out for a while and-”
“Seduced her.” Jacque stretches back in her seat. “The usual.”
“You’re so humble.” Bella pokes her side so that she flinches. “She did ask me out. Once, then we went drinking-”
“Sounds like a typical Jacque adventure.” Imogen smirks.
“Not anymore it’s not.” Bella turns and winks at Jacque who scrunches her forehead, blush creeping up her neck. “Those days are over.”
“Hey.” Jacque protests weakly, pout intensifying as the whipping sound resumes from Imogen.
Bella carries on, exaggerating their engagement and twisting the nature of the proposal. “My mom thought it was basically a shotgun wedding with the time it took but Jacque was set on coming back to Canada to take a shot at this and I couldn’t-” She pauses, as if something is stuck in her throat. “-didn’t really want to be left behind so-”
Whemb smiles. “We saw the pictures. Jacque sent us some over.”
Imogen continues. “I think the whole team was devastated that we couldn’t be there.”
Jacque hesitates for only a moment before putting her arm over the back of Bella’s chair. “I’ll invite you to my second wedding.”
It takes Bella a moment after the table bursts out laughing to get the joke. “Jesus, Jacque!”
“But yeah.” Jacque takes the story from her. Trusting that she’s laid out a good foundation. “I helped move her up here, after we got all of her shit in the car, and she did some coaching classes with me while we were watching you guys at the Olympics. We didn’t really think about all of this until like New Years.”
She darts her eyes to Bella, pretending to confirm this fact.
“And then you called and stirred the pot.” She points to Sadie.
“In my defense,” Sadie winks. “You took my initial statement the wrong way. And protested way too much.”
Bella almost asks but Jacque flushes a bright red so she steers clear of the remark.
“Well, I’ve played against her and I’ve gotta say,” Jacque looks at Bella with pride. “I had a hard time stopping her getting past me without going for the legs.”
Even Bella can see how wide open she left that comment. Sadie raises an eyebrow. “Are we still talking about soccer here?”
Jacque groans. “I forgot how much I missed you all. And your classy banter.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Sadie brushes off. “We missed you too. So did our backline.”
“Make sure she sticks around this time.” Oliv entrusts this to Bella. “We need all the strength we can get against the rest of the world. Not all of us can jump ship, y’know.”
Bella knows it’s a joke but she’s still painfully slow to smile back.
“Not that you’d want to, now you’re here.” Jacque tugs Bella’s hair like a kid in a playground would and it distracts everyone from the unease on Bella’s face. The recovery is swift and in her revenge, kicking at Jacque’s shin, she shuffles her chair closer.
“Trust me, Canada does it better.” Imogen laughs. “Canadian’s too.”
Bella knows it’s a cue but it still catches her off guard with what she’s implying and she flushes red almost naturally to the delight of the rest of the room who take their chances to tease Bella while she’s still blushing. When she looks up Jacque is laughing along too, shrugging when Bella smiles back.
*
They only have a few days until they’re scheduled to fly to Cyprus and the coaches are emphasizing recovery more and more after every session. No one wants to get injured before they even arrive to compete. Getting left behind isn’t on Bella’s to do list.
Even if it means taking ice baths twice a day.
“Band aid.” Bella mutters looking at the inflatable pool in front of her. It’s filled to the brim and stands intimidatingly at her waist height. “Band aid.”
The trainer tips another bag of ice in.
Imogen comes behind her, already holding her shirt up a little. “There’s no amount of thought that’ll make getting in there any better.”
The first five to walk in fit into the first pool. Bella shrieks along with Kathryn when they dip in. It takes a struggling second of her hyperventilating to actually work her way into leaning over the side. Imogen holds onto Sadie’s shoulders when she steps in and Niav gets in a second later. The pool can take that many but Bella is bunched in between Kathryn and Imogen facing those in the pool doing a separate recovery session. Jacque included.
“Y’know what, take me home.” Kathryn groans. “I prefer my cold when I’m not swimming in it.”
“How’s the little American doing?” Sadie shouts behind her. “Canadians have thicker skin.”
“And thicker heads.” Bella chatters. “But I’ll manage to bury your body all the same.”
Kathryn’s giggle comes out more like panting for breath as they all shiver and hold on to the side of the pool for dear life. Bella will never get used to this temperature.
“What if we just said no?” Bella wonders aloud. “What if one day we all just said no, what then?”
Niav tenses against the pool. “We’d lose. Or we’d be in pain.”
Kathryn starts to move to get warmer. “Or there’d be no hunger games. All they want is a show Niav, that’s all they want.”
Sadie leans back and snaps the back of Kathryn’s sports bra. “All they want is a show?”
“We’re in an ice bath and you still manage to be a perv?” Kathryn wonders.
Sadie shrugs. “It’s keeping my mind off the numbing feeling in my legs.”
Imogen groans. “Don’t, I haven’t gotten there yet.”
Bella stiffens. “Hit it, hit it!”
This time it’s Kathryn that pokes fun. “That’s what she said.”
“Oh, fuck you guys.” Bella wraps her arms around her chest and hopes that she’ll conserve some emblem of warmth that she has. Her legs are a lost cause.
Niav then changes ‘she’ to ‘Jacque’ and now Bella is really struggling to keep a hold on her facial expressions.
“Wow,” Imogen nudges Bella just a tad when she raises her hand to wave for attention. “-yo, JACQUE.”
Jacque is holding onto the side of the pool next to Sophie and going through leg stretches when she looks up at Imogen.
“Have you heard what’s coming out of your wife’s mouth-? I swear-” Sadie’s shout of ‘dirty mouth’ is luckily drowned out by Imogen’s sharp squeal when Bella gathers ice in her hand and dumps it down the back of her shirt.
Bella’s actions spur a short lived water fight that only ends when Niav almost dunks Sadie into the water. As a result everyone gets shuffled around and a stern look is thrown towards them by the trainers.
“Let’s be honest though,” Bella is now sandwiched between Kathryn and Sadie, her teeth chattering. “everyone here knows way too much about everyone else. So feel free to just share.”
It’s all too much for Bella, who has to lean forward against the inflatable pool, as she wheezes through laughter. “You’re- you’re cornering me in an ice bath to ask me about my sex life with Jacque.”
“Well, when you put it like that-”
“I’m so cold that I can’t even think about breakfast.” Bella giggles. “Let alone Jacque.”
Bella raises her head up just so she can see her best friend and gives her a small wave. Jacque mouths something in concern but Bella shakes her head with a smile. Jacque does move her exercise closer though, Sophie following, to keep an eye on Sadie at Bella’s beckoning.
“Ignore them.” Niav says. “Remember they’re all jealous.”
“You say that about everyone.” Kathryn points out.
“It’s usually true.” Niav counters.
Bella crosses her arms and just supports herself on the side now. Niav’s words hit and ring in the right way and she finds herself agreeing. “I think you’ve gotta be a bit jealous of me.”
It’s not really for the reasons they think either. Jacque has done so much more for her than words can ever express. Agreeing to this insane plan, going through with it, marrying her and taking on the baggage and the risk that came with it all. And sticking by her even when she messed up sometimes.
“I mean,” Bella knows that she’s staring but Jacque is too busy holding her leg back to look in her direction. “She’s smart, she’s funny, and probably the kindest person I’ve ever met.”
Truth is worn like a smile and it gets bigger when she hears Kathryn make a soft sighing sound at her compliments.
“I’m like, super lucky. I know that.” Bella taps her hand against the side of the pool. “Even luckier to be here with her as well.”
She couldn’t have done this without her. Literally.
Even the sound of Imogen and Sadie making teasing gagging sounds isn’t enough to ruin her good mood. “Yeah, you’re definitely jealous that my wife is awesome and talented and beautiful-” She adds the last remark just as Jacque switches her leg and Bella swears she spots her stumble in the pool.
From the opposite inflatable bath she hears Carla groan. “Get a room.”
They all let up on her a bit after that but she gets through the rest of the recovery session with a spark in her that she hadn’t had before. Jacque doesn’t pass her until they get back to the changing rooms, but she watches her and notes the tiny lift in her expression. Bella is giddy that she’s managed to cheer her up so much so that when she sits next to her at dinner she presses a friendly kiss to Jacque’s cheek.
“What was that for?”
Bella pours a glass of water. “For everything.”
Jacque is bashfully silent for the rest of the night and Bella counts today as one of the good ones
.
*
It still hasn’t truly set in that she and Jacque made the final squad for the Cyprus Cup but they’re all packed, affairs in order for the next few weeks, and ready to make the trip.
They’re on the bus to the airport when Oliv stands and turns in her seat, brandishing the sports pages of a Canadian newspaper. Bella is half paying attention to Jacque doodling, with her head almost on her shoulder, when Oliv snaps her fingers while reading aloud.
“-And this year sees the interesting debut!-” Imogen whistles from the back. “-of married teammates Jacquelina Liresch and her wife, Bella who will be looking to boost Canada to a win in the Cyprus Cup this year-”
Imogen yells excitedly. “Wifeys!”
“Bella, formerly Bella Ansar, is a recent acquisition for the Canadian National team and while most will remember her from her youth days playing for the United States, she also had a brief stint playing for MagicJack-”
Sadie makes a joking hissing sound that makes Jacque laugh.
“-in the WPS. This will be her first full national team call up.”
Jacque nudges her shoulder up against Bella’s head and she’s still half-heartedly doodling but she can’t ignore Oliv’s spectacle. “You hear that, wife. Look at us all big time making the paper.”
“I’ll believe the hype when I actually get out on that field.” Bella mumbles into Jacque’s side.
Jacque abandons the doodle all together and adjusts so that the arm that Bella was leaning against is now around her. “You’ll get in there, don’t worry about it.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I always am.” Jacque can’t help but do it because Bella left the door wide open for her and it earns a little chuckle so it was definitely worth the quick burst of ego.
*
Canada (1 - 1) New Zealand
She doesn’t start while Oliv and Whemb are on the field but she lines up on the sidelines with her arms around the other subs when the teams are led out. The music starts and Bella’s head shoots up. Shit, she doesn’t know the words to the national anthem.
