by Anna J.
That was music to my ears . . . kind of. Just because no one had seen anyone didn’t mean there wasn’t someone. Men were very slick and could hide the biggest chick on the block in the smallest space ever. I did like that there was maybe an option with him, though.
I watched my sister through the mirror while I worked my magic, and she just didn’t seem fazed. I was always pretty good at reading her, and maybe this time, I missed the mark. Maybe this time I didn’t want to see what was really behind that nonchalant facial expression. Maybe because I was so damn selfish I was willing to push my sister dead in front of the bus to have what I wanted. Maybe I pushed her into his arms. All of this shit just might be my damn fault.
Satisfied with my look, I got up to wash my face so that I could get ready for bed. I was already late to work once that week and didn’t want to fall into a pattern. By the time I got back, my sissy was already gone and locked in her room for the night. I wanted to knock and ask her one more time to be sure, but I didn’t want to beat a dead horse, so I just let it go. By the time I got into bed, I had convinced myself that I would give Chase a chance. Who knew what would come of us if we tried to make it work? A small smile crept up on my face as I fantasized about him before falling asleep. Hopefully he wasn’t all looks and no stroke. That would truly be disappointing and a definite deal breaker.
The next morning, I woke up a little later than expected, so I had to skip Starbucks so that I could get to work on time. I was truly not a person that needed to be anywhere in the world without first having my coffee. They were about to be all the way irked with me in the office that day, but I tried to keep my head in check. Maybe once I clocked in, I could talk my boss into letting me sneak out and get a cup. She had the same habit I had, so she would surely understand, especially if it was my treat.
Rushing to get ready, I ran out of the house, having to beat my face on the express train to Center City, and arrived at the office with exactly one minute to spare. Heading to my desk, I almost dropped all of my belongings as I got closer. On my desk sat a large coffee, a Cinnabon cinnamon bun, and a dozen yellow roses in a beautiful vase. I was speechless.
“Someone delivered these maybe ten minutes ago.” My team partner leaned her head out of her space and looked at me with a curious eye.
“Did he say who he was?” I asked, assuming it was Chase as I moved closer to examine my gifts.
“Nope. Just asked where you sat and placed everything there. Tall guy, kind of caramel, I guess, accent from somewhere. Sounded like New York, but what do I know?” she rambled. I loved Cici. She didn’t miss a damn thing that went on around these parts and knew all too well that I would want all the details.
Chase was definitely resourceful, and it made me wonder who was feeding him info about me. He knew too much for someone I didn’t know at all. Maybe I needed to knock some of the ice off and let him warm me up a little bit.
“Well, thanks, love. This came right on time! I was running crazy late this morning and didn’t have time to stop.”
She gave me a knowing smile and went back to the task in front of her.
My mind was racing all over the place, trying to figure out how I was going to get close to Chase. I needed to see what it was really hitting for with him. He certainly knew how to wow a lady, but what else did he have to offer? I had been blowing him off for a while but decided it was time to start letting him in. I had a heart of ice, mostly from getting played more times than I liked to admit. Every time I thought I had found the one, he turned out to be a damn dud. Shit, being pretty was half the battle. To get what you really wanted, you had to get down and dirty with the rest of them.
I was not the chick that was going to kill myself working a million hours to take care of some dude that refused to rise and grind as early as I did. Ideally, he would hold a corporate job, but I was not afraid of the block. In fact, I preferred the block. I needed excitement in my life, and a dude that did the same thing I did was not in the running. I’d be damned if I would be stuck with someone who only talked office politics all day. That type of man was more my sister’s speed.
I liked them in the trap. Some of the most brilliant mindsets came from down the way. If he were smart, he’d know how to stack so that he could step away and let the up-and-comings run the game. I got that vibe from Chase, and it was time I let him know I was crushing on him too. I wasn’t just going to fall into his arms like a damsel in distress, though. I wasn’t that chick, but I would let him know he was working on me a little.
As I waited for my computer to power up, I sent a text out to my girls Skye and Vice.
We have to TALK a.s.a.p.!
It looked like their girl was about to be off the market soon, and I needed their ears and eyes to the street to see who this Chase Warren really was. He wasn’t about to catch me slipping out there, no matter how hard he made me smile.
Chase
Get It, Got It, Gone
She woke up late. You need to get breakfast to her desk asap.
I got the text at like six in the damn morning from my connect, but I was not ready to be making moves at that time of day. Sis was making me work harder than I was used to, and I just prayed that her pussy didn’t end up to be trash at the end of it all. I was used to chicks just dropping the drawers and busting it open, but this one had the nerve to have values.
I didn’t respond to the text. Waking shorty up next to me, I pulled her leg up and banged her from the side once more before I put her ass out.
Rarely did they get the chance to stay until the sun came up. I didn’t want anyone thinking we were a fucking couple. And no matter what I said, chicks always went with their own thoughts. You’ve seen it before. All y’all did was fuck—no date nights, no birthday gifts, no phone conversation. All you got was a text, a dick down, and the occasional wing platter from the Chinese store. If you were nice, maybe I’d let you get a drink other than tap water to wash it all down before I put my dick down your throat. I wasn’t spending no bread on the chicks. Bed them and then boot them. See ya next time.
In these chicks’ minds, y’all was in love out this bitch. She was telling her homegirls future plans for y’all and everything. Even though I always made it crystal-ass clear that this wasn’t shit but sex. I swear, it just be too much of a hassle, which was why I had to stop bringing them to the crib for a while. I’d had two motorcycles and the paint scratched up on my Benz lost in the struggle, and I just couldn’t afford to keep going through the hassle. Listen, my Benz looked like a pack of wild wolves was practicing salsa dancing on the hood of my car. I was pissed and thought about getting her ass dragged by one of my young chickens, but I just let it go. It hurt them more not to get the dick. Trust me. They’d be out there looking like fucking crack heads, feigning to bust just one last nut and sorry they wrecked my shit. I be skipping right past they ass every time. I liked to live my life drama free at all costs. None of these hoes were worth my sanity.
This one, though. Dudes were falling over her left and right, and she acted like she was immune to the shit. Like she had no clue what was going on around her. That was how you knew she knew she was a bad bitch. I saw her out and about on a few occasions, ass looking perfect every time, lips looking kissable as fuck, and those damn eyes could see right through to your soul. She had me hypnotized, but I wasn’t about to let her know that shit. She was going to work just as hard to get me as I did to get her. I was worth it, I promise. Just hoped she was, too.
By the time I got done smashing, and ol’ girl taking her sweet-ass time getting ready, I didn’t have time to make it down to shorty gig, so I had to send one of my boys over there again. He held a regular gig in the same building she worked in but held down the block for me at night whenever I needed him. He knew to follow directions specifically once I texted him what to pick up and where to take it. He never veered from the plan, and that was why whenever he needed me, he got it without question.
It was a good thing, though. Just
as I went to spin the block, I received an urgent call from another crew member. These Philly cats had no loyalty! Every time I turned around, I had to dead one of these fools, and there was no doubt in my mind this situation would be exactly the same. By this time, it was seven in the morning, and I was just receiving a text from Selah thanking me for her breakfast and flowers. I made a mental note to pay my guy a little more for following directions as I made my way through the Dunkin’ Donuts drive thru to grab a coffee and croissant before heading down the bottom. There was no way I was going to make it through this bullshit this morning without it.
I slammed my breakfast as I made my way over to the spot. It looked like any other house down the bottom of West Philly—row home, leaky porch when it rained, broken shades in the windows. It looked very deceiving to the naked eye, but a lot of money was made in those walls. Thousands on a daily basis. Every so often, we had to take someone to the basement, but it had been happening more often than not lately. To me, that was a sign that some of these dudes thought I was soft. Someone had to be made an example of. Fortunately, I didn’t mind teaching anyone not to fuck with me.
When I pulled up on the block, I double-checked to make sure no one was following me before getting out of the car. Don’t get me wrong, I was mad respected on these streets, but it was always someone who thought they were smarter than the average bear out this bitch. I trusted a lot of people, but no one fully. Desperate times would make someone kill they own mother for money. I was no different. I bled the same as everyone else. The key was to get the drop on them before they got it on you.
I punched in the lock code on the door, and as I entered, the smell of blood rushed right to my head. Seemed they started without me. In cases like these, my goons did not always wait for me to make a sound decision. They handled whatever needed to be handled until I arrived. I trusted these guys with my life for the most part, so I trusted their decision to the fullest.
Going upstairs first, I said hey to my auntie and made sure she was kosher before handling business. She lost her sense of smell to a cocaine habit years ago, so I wasn’t concerned that the smell of rotting flesh would be upsetting to her. She knew to utilize the entire house except for the basement. That door had a lock code on it as well that she didn’t know and didn’t need to know. There was nothing down there for her anyway. Everything she needed to utilize was right where it needed to be. She was sweet and really just a front so that people thought someone actually lived there and it wasn’t just a bunch of drug activity. She wasn’t involved in any way. I promised my mom before I came to Philly that I wouldn’t get her mixed up in any shit. I just made sure she had everything she needed and that she stayed out of the way.
My mom hated that I ended up a thug, but what could she do? Sometimes the streets got ahold of you and refused to let go. No amount of prayers could keep me from getting this fast money, but I stayed prayed up so that I wouldn’t burn in the hell fire. I wondered how many sins I had to commit before God stopped hearing me. I thought about this often. The fact that I was killing people, be it through drug or slug, all of this shit had an expiration date on it. I just had to ensure I was good before my time was up.
WHACK!
Checking the fridge and cabinets to make sure everything was stocked up for my aunt, I made a mental note to pick her up another loaf of Stroehmann’s potato bread. If nothing else, she loved a good sandwich.
Upon entering, I could hear them roughing up the culprit, and I was almost sad to find out who it would be this time. I was not originally from Philly, but the flavor I brought to the city was undeniable. Some of these dudes could not get with the fact that I wasn’t locally born and raised, but that sounded to me like a personal problem. I’d been there too long for them to keep taking me through the motions. If I had to kill they asses off one by one until I found loyalty in an entirely new crew, then so be it. I was trying to at least keep it respectful and not bring my entire NY squad down there, but they were really testing my patience. Why couldn’t folks just chill?
“Chance, listen. I can explain. . . .”
I had to adjust my eyesight to see in the semi-dark room. There wasn’t a lot of available light in the basement. We didn’t need it. If you were down there, you were either counting money in the back room (which was well lit), or you were about to die. It didn’t matter if you could see us or not if you weren’t going to make it to see the next day. He probably didn’t want to see the disappointment on my face anyway. It was getting harder to hide and making me angrier by the minute.
“Cecil, tell me what’s going on.” Honestly, I didn’t care. He was a done deal. I did like to give people a chance to speak their peace, though. Let them get whatever they had off their chest. It made me feel like they had a chance to earn forgiveness before I offed they ass. I always said a prayer for their soul to make it to heaven afterward. No one wanted to burn in hell.
“My daughter, man. My baby mom started using again, and my mom been taking care of her. My peoples is charging me out the ass, yo.” He droned on and on, telling me his family issues. It was weird that he mentioned it because I thought I saw his baby mom copping from one of my boys not too long ago. My question was, why didn’t she just get it from him? He could have found a way to keep us both satisfied. That’s why it was important to have a backup plan.
“She stole the last pack I got. I was trying to come up with the money, but it was just too much to try to flip without enough product. I’m in a jam, man. I don’t know what to do.”
That’s what I was waiting to hear. The truth about what was really happening. He wasn’t in here crying because his girl was a drug addict. He was in tears because she just possibly got him killed. Did I care about his baby being left without parents? Not in the least. It wasn’t my concern. His job was to protect the bag by any means necessary. The Notorious B.I.G. gave us the game in the Ten Crack Commandments. He already knew how the game was played.
His sobs bounced around us, but all of us were unfazed. I took my time rolling a blunt, allowing him to cry in peace. There was really nothing for me to say. I heard this story so many times before—either the drug dealer becomes the drug user, or someone close to them.
“Tell me why I should give you another chance.”
Everyone in the room stopped and looked at me. I’d never in my life given a second chance to anyone, but every so often, you need to be spared. We all need a pass sometimes. The older I got, the more I understood that point. There were some people I wished I had given this opportunity to. Maybe we’d just look at this situation as me giving back to the community. His answer had to be good, though, and he needed to understand that an opportunity like this would probably never happen again.
“I fucked up. I should have let her go when she first started using. If you give me the opportunity, I promise you won’t be disappointed.”
So basically, he didn’t answer my question, but that day, I was feeling generous. Well, that and I didn’t feel like trying to hide another body right now. I decided to spare him just this once. For his sake, he better not make me regret it.
“That wasn’t the answer I was expecting, but this is what we’re going to do . . .”
I ran down to him the breakdown on each brick he would move, and how much off the top he would pay me in addition to what the brick was worth. I slightly threatened to put him in the ground if this deal went wrong or he just so happened to disappear.
“The entire house would be sprayed. Mom, daughter, everybody gonna feel the heat.”
He shook his head profusely and thanked me for giving him a chance. I gave the cue to my head man in charge, and they swooped in on him once more as I left the room. He was gonna get that money beat out of his ass if it was the last thing they did. The next time I’d see him would be to collect.
Hopping back in my car, I took a spin around the city to see what the flow looked like for everyone else just in case the chop shop had to stay open a little while longer.
As I made the left to head down South Philly, I got a text from my connect. Sighing loudly, I pointed my car in the direction of my home. I had to find a way to get rid of this little problem, too, if it was the last thing I did.
Selah
The Thrill of the Chase
“So, I hear he’ll be at Dame’s party tonight. We should definitely go now,” Skye advised.
You absolutely didn’t want to miss a Daddy Dame party. He was our local DJ that knew how to turn all the way up. Trust, if you weren’t there, you were certainly square and would forever be salty you missed out. He pulled out all the stops, especially for his birthday. Last year was epic, and each year got better than the one before. I swear he had to take an entire year to plan this shit. It was too extravagant to just be thrown together and fall into place the way it did. You had to be red carpet ready for these events, and I was ready to shine like I was nominated for an Oscar.
I was sitting having lunch outside with Skye a few days later, discussing Chase. She worked in the same office building as me, but for a different company a few floors down. She’d been #TeamChase since he dropped on the scene a few years ago. She was the one that pointed him out while at a hotel pool party last summer, and it appeared that he was riding solo. There were plenty of scantily clad women present, but none seemed to be the girl that he was with. He showed the same love to everyone in his section, buying bottles and rotating tightly packed weed-filled blunts that he never puffed from. He didn’t seem fazed at all by all the chicks that were grinning up in his face and twerking him up against the wall as we kept catching eyes from across the pool. My metallic gold-and-leopard two-piece was giving them all life, but I kept batting them all away like flies, captivated by the new guy that I had been seeing around.
