by Wood, Vivian
The worried look on Luna’s face increases but she allows her brother to ferry her off toward the stage. I lose sight of her pretty quickly.
Fuck. I straighten and try to pay attention to the people surrounding me. When Luna comes back, I breathe a sigh of relief.
But she just hugs Cate tightly, whispering in the other girl’s ear. Cate starts crying and nods.
Luna breaks away and grabs my wrist. She leads me toward the front door pretty forcefully.
I can see that she’s overwhelmed, on the very verge of tears. When she pushes into the Seattle summer evening, I pull her to a stop. She looks up at me, tears shimmering in her eyes.
“Luna, what’s going on?”
She flings herself into my arms, burying her face against my chest. “Luca and Cate are expecting.”
She’s not sobbing or anything, but her voice is muffled by my chest.
“That’s the news your brother had to tell you?”
She nods slowly. “Yeah.”
I hesitate, confused. “Isn’t that a good thing?”
She wipes one side of her face, nodding. “Yes.”
“Then why the tears?” I ask.
She blows out a breath, looking up at me with reddened eyes. “It’s complicated. Can we… can we just go somewhere private for a minute? I don’t want to be seen crying about my brother’s baby news right in front of his bar.”
“Sure.” I look around, but Luna already has her keys out. She hits a button and the lights flash on a light colored SUV.
We start moving toward it. It’s not until we’re close enough to touch it that I realize it’s a Porsche.
“Jesus fucking christ,” I mutter. She probably doesn’t even realize that her car is worth ten or twelve times what mine is worth.
As we climb in the car, Luna leans back in the driver’s seat, obviously distraught. I look over at her tear-stained face, my mouth pulling down into a frown. What am I supposed to say to her when she’s like this?
She blows out a breath, wiping at her face. “You probably think I’m a grade a whack job right now.”
I give my head a shake. “I’m actually just wondering how I’m supposed to comfort you.”
She smiles sadly. “I don’t think I deserve comfort. I’m crying because my best friend just told me she’s going to have a baby.”
I cock a brow. “Why is that making you so upset? I mean… it really has no negative impact on you at all.”
She looks over at me, rolling her eyes at herself. “Yeah, I know. I just wasn’t expecting it. I mean, I talked to Cate a few days ago and she just said that she and Luca were going to try to get pregnant…” She takes a long breath. “It’s just so easy for them, you know? They’re like… stupidly in love. They make this decision to try for a baby and… poof! It’s like magic.”
I think for a few seconds. “Have you ever actually even tried to get pregnant?”
Luna looks sheepish. “Well… no… but I know it would be hard.”
I push on my inner cheek with my tongue. “How do you know?”
That gives her pause. “Well, my gynecologist says it’s likely to be an issue.”
“I feel like you’re getting yourself wound up over something that could be an issue in the future.” I scrunch up my face. “That’s really not fair to yourself. And it’s not fair to Cate or your brother, frankly. This is supposed to be a celebration for them.”
She looks away out her window, taking a moment to digest my words. Then she looks back at me, rubbing a hand over her mouth. “Are you always this grounded?”
One corner of my mouth slides up into a smile. “No. It’s way easier to tell you that you’re not seeing the complete picture of your life. With my own life, it’s obviously different.”
She gives half a laugh, leaning over to place a gentle kiss on my lips. “Well, it seems like you’re a born crisis negotiator.”
I huff a laugh. “Yeah, well. You have Malkia to thank for that. She had so much drama when she was a teenager…”
Luna looks skyward for a moment, then straightens her shoulders. “Do you think we should go back into the Attic?”
Taking her hand, I give it a squeeze. “Whatever you decide.”
She gives me a knowing look. “You’re just willing to wait it out because you know you’re going to be rewarded with sex later.”
I shrug. “Maybe. Do you blame me?”
She grins. “Not at all.”
She leans in for another kiss, steamier this time. I cup her jaw, inhaling her scent and savoring her taste. She finally pulls away and opens her car door, heading back to the Attic.
And I follow, my eyes on her figure, my heart in my throat.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Luna
I’m in love with Gabe. There’s no use denying it.
Lying in bed the morning after the party, I trace figure eights on the bed. Gabe is sleeping right beside me, turned on his stomach. The mid-morning light pours in from my windows and lights up the white bedsheets underneath us both.
I watch him sleep, his breathing easy and natural. If I knew that I wouldn’t wake him, I would trace my fingers across his brow, down his nose, across his expressive lips.
My fingers itch with the desire to do it. But I don’t. I still sense that there is a lot that he’s holding back. He’s not willing to feel as much as I do.
Plus, there is the whole thing where I’m supposed to steal his regatta course for Dr. Montgomery. I roll over onto my back and stare up at the high ceilings of my loft.
Yeah, I’m definitely not going to do that. Even assuming that I hated Gabe — which clearly I do not — I would have a hard time just taking his stuff. No matter how Dr. Montgomery dresses it up, it’s just slimy and wrong.
I’m going to have to tell Dr. Montgomery my decision… and soon. How he takes it really concerns me… I mean, my academic career is in his hands. But I can’t have these feelings for Gabe and still let this nonsense with Dr. Montgomery still go on.
Shifting my gaze to the man sleeping next to me, I repress a sigh. I should just do it now, get it over with.
Getting out of bed is harder than it usually is. Dressing myself quickly, I try to tell myself that whatever happens, it’s going to be okay. I mean… what is the worst that can happen?
As I scribble a note for Gabe and let myself out of my house, nightmare scenarios push at my consciousness. I usually don’t let myself go too deep into such morbid thoughts but… here I am, intensely worried about what Dr. Montgomery will say.
It’s a Tuesday, which means that he will probably be at work. Heading to the University of Washington medical school, it takes me a while to find Dr. Montgomery. The lights are off and the blinds pulled in his office. He’s not in the faculty lounge or the mostly empty cafeteria.
At last I find him in a lecture hall, teaching a class of first year med students. Peering in through on of the windows at the back of the class, I spot my friend Olivia, a cute little brunette sitting in the second row of students. She looks bored, fanning herself slowly and blinking repeatedly at whatever Dr. Montgomery is telling the class.
What would she think about the conversation I’m about to have with the good doctor?
I sit outside in the hall, waiting for the class to let out. In less than fifteen minutes my patience is rewarded; students carrying huge textbooks and heavy backpacks begin filing out of the doors.
I catch Olivia for a second.
“Hey!” she greets me, juggling several textbooks and a tote bag. “It’s nice to see you, Luna.”
I straighten and smile at her.
“You too. I’m just trying to catch Dr. Montgomery,” I say, nodding to the classroom.
“Oh, you’d better hurry. I think he’s in a rush to get somewhere.” Olivia touches my arm. “We totally have to catch up soon, though.”
“Absolutely we do.” I grin at her. “See you later.”
I pull open the door, spying Dr. Montgomery head
ing up the stairs directly towards me. He spots me and a grin breaks out over his face.
“Lena!” he greets me, hugging his stack of textbooks to his chest. “You’re back from the trip, I see.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “It’s Luna, Dr. Montgomery.”
He brushes past me. “Come on, you can fill me in on your trip on the way to my office.” He looks at his watch. “I have about ten minutes before I have to be in my car.”
Frowning, I turn and follow him down the hallway and up a staircase. “So I wanted to talk to you— “
“That sounds ominous,” he jokes. He doesn’t seem too bothered. In fact, he doesn’t even look at me at all. Unease fills my heart, gripping me hard.
“Right. I mean… I don’t think I can give you what you asked for.”
Dr. Montgomery stops short, whirling around. “The race course plans?”
My cheeks start to burn under his imperious stare. “Yeah. I can’t steal them.”
He raises a brow. “And why not?”
Unable to look at him, I drop my gaze. “Because stealing is wrong?”
He sighs dismissively. “I already explained it to you, Lena. We are friends. He’ll be glad that you helped.”
I make a face. “I… I’m not sure that that is true, Dr. Montgomery.”
That gives him pause. “Are you calling me a liar?”
My cheeks are burning so brightly I’m worried that I will start a fire. “No… I just… I can’t get the plans for you. Even if I wanted to, he literally keeps them in a safe.”
His heavy eyebrows rise. “A safe?”
I nod my head, hoping that he won’t be able to tell that I’m essentially lying my ass off. “Yeah.”
Dr. Montgomery stares me down for a minute, then turns and starts walking again. “It would be my suggestion that you figure out how to get him to open that safe, Lena.”
“That’s not my name!” I say, raising my voice.
“Who cares?” He reaches the door to his office, digging in his pocket for his keys. “Come in here.”
He unlocks the door, chucking his books in a chair. Then he stands aside, waving me in impatiently.
Swallowing thickly, I do as he asks. He shuts the door after me, then walks over to his desk and leans against it.
“I want those plans,” he says evenly. “I don’t care what you have to do or who you have to fellate to get them.”
Startled, I give him an odd look. “I’m sorry?”
He folds his arms across his chest. “You heard me. It would be extremely detrimental to your future at this school if you decide not to follow through with our bargain. I will make sure that you fail. Is that clear enough for you?”
I’m speechless for a second. “Dr. Montgomery, you should not be talking to me like this.”
He cocks his head. “What are you going to do about it, exactly? This is a very competitive school. If you fail out, there are a hundred more people just waiting for a chance at your spot. Just because Mommy and Daddy bought your way in— “
“What?” I blurt out, frustrated beyond belief.
He gives me a snide smirk. “You don’t think I know who you are? Hmm? I have a copy of your file and it’s full of interesting information. Did you know that your mother agreed to build a whole new wing for our hospital? That’s why you got admitted over other, better qualified applicants.”
God, if I could just crawl under the faded carpet and die instead of having this conversation, I would do so happily.
“I don’t know anything about it,” is all I can say, raising my chin.
He rolls his eyes. “Whatever. It really doesn’t matter. What does matter is whether or not I have those plans in my hands in the next ten days. If I don’t get them…” He shrugs his shoulders. “You can consider your career at this school over. You either do it, or you start applying to a different med school.” He smirks. “Or maybe just quit trying to be anything other than a rich man’s wife.”
My jaw drops. “You can’t talk to me like that!”
Dr. Montgomery waves his hand around his office. “Who’s going to stop me? Hmm? This conversation is just between you and me… so I would recommend that you just go ahead and get the plans for me.”
He looks at his watch and straightens. “Ah, shit. I’m late.”
“Wait, you can’t just leave!” I protest.
“Get out of my office,” he says calmly. “You’ve taken up too much of my time.”
“I— “
Dr. Montgomery loses his cool.
“Get out!” he shouts.
Eyes widening, I back toward the door, turning the knob and letting myself out. He slams the door closed behind me hard enough to rattle the blinds.
Blinking at the door for a second, I start slowly walking down the hall toward the parking lot. Dr. Montgomery is unhinged, as it turns out.
I definitely don’t know what I should do with myself. I should take my case somewhere else, kick it up the food chain…
But to whom?
I can’t exactly tell the med school administration that I had planned to steal some papers for Dr. Montgomery and changed my mind. What if they don’t do anything about it?
And I definitely can’t tell Gabe my problem either. Despite my blowing the whistle now, that wouldn’t be what Gabe sees. He would zero in on the fact that I initially agreed to go along with Dr. Montgomery’s plan. That would be the end of lazy mornings in bed with Gabe…
I can’t let such a foolish mistake keep us from seeing each other again.
So basically, I’m at something of an impasse. Right now, Dr. Montgomery has got me against the wall, between a rock and a hard place. Either I make a fuss about things and potentially lose what I have with Gabe… or I don’t, but then have to face the loss of my career.
Pushing the door open and heading into the sunny Seattle afternoon, I quail. What am I supposed to do?
Who am I supposed to ask for advice?
I don’t know and I haven’t the faintest idea of where to even begin to find out.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Gabe
“Fuck!”
I slam the coffee grinder down with a grimace. It’s an automatic machine, which is great… except when you forget to actually set a limit on the amount of coffee it grinds. I didn’t. Instead I went to brush my teeth and came back to all my coffee ground up at once, enough to make the grinder’s gears stick.
Today is just not my day. Actually, yesterday wasn’t my day either. Luna came back from doing her errands and she was quiet in an eerie way…
She’s still quiet, which makes me wonder just what the hell happened yesterday. As I set the water on to boil, my phone buzzes insistently.
I head over to check it.
Wedding Day!! the screen says. It flashes a picture of me and Michelle, holding hands on top of the Space Needle. She clings to me, her eyes puffy.
I remember that photo. I remember that day.
How could I not have realized that today was supposed to be our wedding day?
I freeze, the phone still buzzing away in my hand.
Can that be right? Can today really be the day that I was supposed to marry Michelle?
“Hey,” Luna says softly.
I whirl, silencing my phone. She gives me a half a smile, already dressed and ready to leave. Her smile hides just a tiny bit of concern…
What is she worried about, exactly? I lift my chin, trying to shove down all my worries about Michelle.
“Hey,” I say nonchalantly. It would be better if I had something on other than my skivvies; looking at her, all dressed up like she’s going out on the town, you wouldn’t expect that she was just leaving my bed. I cross my arms, trying to appear like less of a wreck than I really am.
“I have to head out,” she says, cocking her head. “Should I plan to see you tonight?”
I frown. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
Luna’s eyebrows rise, but she doesn’t put up a fight.
“Okay. Have a good day, Gabe.”
She comes over to me and drops a kiss on my lips, then hustles out the door.
“You too,” I mumble. But she likely doesn’t hear or at least doesn’t indicate that she has.
Luna. That’s why I forgot. Because it is just easier to lean into her warm embraces and dazzling smiles. Easier than looking backward, anyway.
But I am not ready to give up mourning Michelle. I’m not the kind of person who just abandons his dead ex-fiancée when someone new and tempting comes along.
…am I?
I don’t want to be someone that forgets people that easily.
I scowl at the door as it slams closed behind Luna. My phone starts buzzing again in my hand. Without a second thought I throw my phone at the wall as hard as I can.
Instantly the screen shatters, the alarm going silent.
I tilt my head back and let out a stream of curses. Like I said, today is just not my day.
I graduate from making coffee right to moping around my tiny apartment. I pull out a box of keepsakes I have stashed in the bottom of a closet. Then I spend a long time sifting through the photos and mementos I find inside of the box.
A scrap of light blue lace that was Michelle’s mother’s. A photo of Michelle a couple weeks after we met, wearing nothing but that slinky, mischievous smile of hers. A folded letter written to me by Michelle a few days before she killed herself.
God, she was so young. Not even twenty six years old. There was so much potential there for her…
And now it’s all gone, blown away like dust in the cruel, unblinking wind.
My knuckles whiten as I grip my cup of coffee. Rage roils through me.
I’m still so angry at her for abandoning me, for just giving up on life.
I hear the slide of a key opening the front door. Looking up, I see Malkia open the door.
“Gabe?” she calls.
I toss Michelle’s letter back into the keepsake box, nodding to my sister. “What are you doing here?”
She turns her head and takes me in. “I tried to text you like five times. I have not heard from you since we docked the boat. I got worried.”
