by Beck, J. L.
He leans over as I try and focus on whatever it is the professor is saying. “Are you thinking about it?” He chuckles. “My fingers in your pussy? What it would feel like to have my cock there instead?”
No. Yes. “No. I’d rather nail my hand to the wall than sleep with you.”
“I can make that happen too if you’re into that kind of thing. Although, nailing your hand to anything seems a little extreme. I think we should start by tying you to the bed, then work ourselves up from there…”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I snap, my voice way louder than I intended it to be. My cheeks warm, my entire body feeling as if it’s reached its boiling point.
Someone clears their throat, and when I look up, I realize it was the professor, who is still looking at me with an annoyed expression on his face. I just can’t catch a break. What is this insanity? Does he really own this school and all the people in it? I guess so.
Whispers spread across the room, and when I look around, I realize everyone is looking at me. Some sneer, while others just stare in horror. I feel like I’m the freak at the carnival that everyone’s come to see. Pressure builds behind my eyes, and I know if I don’t calm down right now, I’m going to start crying.
Breathe, Willow, breathe.
You can do this. Think of your sister. Think of all she’s been through. She won’t get better if she doesn’t have you. The thoughts help soothe the ache forming in my chest, and just as I’m becoming somewhat composed again, Parker leans in. “You still haven’t learned your place.” His voice is low and raspy as he continues whispering into my ear. “Let me remind you… since you’ve forgotten. It’s on your knees, in front of me… naked, with my dick in your mouth. That’s where you belong and where you will be right after this class. I’m done waiting. If I have to, I’ll just take it from you...”
That’s the last straw… I can’t handle anymore. If it’s not my father, it’s Parker, and if it’s not them, then it’s Ashton. I’m slowly drowning, and the people around me see it, yet they keep putting rocks in my pockets, making me sink deeper and deeper.
“You know what I’m done with?” I reply, anger finally boiling over. “You! I’m done with you and your games.” Furiously, I shut my books, the noise draws the attention of the rest of the room, but who cares, it doesn’t matter. They were all laughing at me before. What’s another show? Shoving out of my chair, I don’t even bother to pack up my stuff. I just grab my bag and my phone and walk out of the room.
Fuck him, fuck this school, and fuck my dad.
8
Parker
I sit on a bench outside, tapping my pencil against the bind of my English textbook. I’m supposed to be studying, but the sun is setting, I wish the light were my excuse, but honestly, I just can’t stop thinking about her. About my next move.
I dial Alice’s number knowing once she’s gone from the situation, I’ll have Willow all to myself. The phone rings twice before she picks up. “Hello,” her apprehensive voice comes through the line.
“Alice, it’s Parker again. Did you do what I asked you to do?”
“Yes, I moved out this morning, but I don’t understand why you wanted me to do this.” The worry in her voice would be a concern if I gave a fuck, but I don’t.
“You don’t have to understand, all you have to do is what I say, and you’ll have nothing to worry about.” Pressing the red end key, I hang up before she can say anything else.
I’ve only seen Willow from afar this week. For days she disappeared, but only after making a huge scene. Only after proving once again, that she didn’t know her place in this kingdom. After she stormed out of English literature last week, she hasn’t been back to class. Matter of fact, she hasn’t left her dorm room much at all. I hate it. Not seeing her, not being able to torment her. I’ve kind of grown accustomed to doing and saying things that I know will get under her skin. It’s become a drug. She’s become a drug.
A sick feeling makes its way through my limbs at that knowledge. I know my stalking has reached new heights. My obsession growing like a cancer. My fingers itch to touch her, to peel back all her layers, to see if she’s actually scared of me.
Maybe she’s just as curious as I am about how good it would be if we came together. No. I snarl in anger, hating that I’m attracted to her at all. I think back on what my father said. “Get your revenge, son. Do what you have to do to make her pay.”
I think about the first time Willow saw me here, and how I told her about attending. I smile at the memory. I knew then that I would do whatever it took to get my revenge. After the last few days, that’s gotten harder for me. I can’t get to her if she’s hiding in her dorm.
But with Alice gone, there is nothing in my way. There is nothing stopping me from walking into that room and taking what I want. What I deserve. The thought has me on edge but in a good way. Like when you’re on the crest of the big hill on the roller coaster, about to go over the top and down at a ninety-degree angle. I’m so excited, I almost can’t wait until she’s asleep. The energy rippling through me makes me want to get up and run laps around the room.
Looking into her window from the park across the dorm, I test my patience by waiting for her to turn off her lights. The seconds tick by, each one like a grain of sand falling from my hand and floating away in the breeze. I watch curiously as she sits on her bed, gazing down at something in her hands. Her face is downcast, and what appears to be a frown appears on her lips, then again at this distance, I can’t really tell.
For some reason, I feel this tightness spread throughout my chest, wondering if she feels as alone as I do? Don’t. I tell myself. If I feel bad for her, then I might as well be agreeing with her, and the shitstorm she brought down on my family. No way in hell I’m doing that. She’s the liar. My brother is innocent, paying for another man’s crimes.
Another second ticks by. I tap my pencil a little faster, a little harder. My impatience mounts. Then, almost like she can tell I’m waiting, she turns the light off, and the room descends into darkness. My lips pull up into a smile that only I can feel the real joy of. I wait another ten minutes for good measure. I want her to be asleep. That’s going to make this way more fun. The hunt is part of the thrill.
Walking into the dorms, I act as if I belong there, and I suppose I do. If it weren’t for my father, this place would’ve gone under. So, in a way, this entire place belongs to my family and me. Which means no one can tell me to leave or to stop.
Getting antsier by the second, I take the steps two at a time until I reach her floor. Heading straight for her door, I fist the key card in my hand, the plastic biting into my palm. When I get to the door, I slowly slide the card through the slot, watching the small light turn green. Bingo. As quietly as I can, I push the door open. It doesn’t even creak as I tiptoe into the room.
Stepping over the threshold, her unique scent washes over me, and stops me dead in my tracks. Damn her for being so tempting. As strange as it is, her smell calms my heated blood, and I automatically suck in a deep breath like it’s a drug, and I’m an addict. A few more calming breaths, and I’m able to move again.
It’s completely dark in the room, with only the dim light from the window to guide me, I can see the outlines of the furniture. Strange how our finest moments seem to happen in the dark. I close the door behind me, just as quietly as I opened it, my ears straining as I listen for her to make any noise. When I hear nothing besides her even breathing, I smirk. She’s asleep, sound asleep, just as I’d hoped. Silently, I walk toward her bed, the shadows of the room protect me, and I stop when I’m only a foot away. Even if she opened her eyes right now, she wouldn’t see me.
Like the total creep I am, I stand there and watch her for a second, until my eyes have adjusted to the darkness, and I can see the contours of her perfect face better. My muscles ache, and a knot twists deep in my gut. My heart is pounding against my ribs so furiously, I’m surprised she hasn’t woken from the noise.
Her whole body goes rigid for a second before she turns into a wild banshee, having realized that whatever is happening isn’t just a nightmare, but reality. As I had suspected, she starts to wail, very much like a pig, but not much noise gets past my hand. Her struggle turns me on. Her fear, which I can already smell permeates the air, soaking into every pore.
She tries to buck me off by lifting her hips, and when that doesn’t work, her hands land tiny insignificant hits against my chest. She struggles, trying to use her legs as a weapon against my crotch, but I easily overpower her with my weight alone.
She’s a tiny little bug, and I’m a fucking giant.
Oh, how easy it would be to squish her right now.
“I hope you didn’t think we were done?” I whisper against the supple skin on her neck. I want to bite her there, feel her pulse thunder against my lips. As soon as she hears my voice, she stops flailing, and her limbs fall to her sides. For half a second, I wonder why? Is she relieved that it’s me, or is she simply petrified, realizing that it is me?
Was she expecting it to be someone else? The thought slams into me, a wave of carnal possession overtaking me. I want to roar from the rooftops that she is mine. Because she is, and she should know that by now. I’ve told and shown her plenty of times. This cat and mouse game we’re playing, it can only end one way. With her beneath me, giving in to my every command.
“Did you think you could hide, and I wouldn’t find you?” Part of me wants to shake her for being so stupid. “There is nowhere safe for you to hide, nowhere for you to go where I wouldn’t find you.” I lick my lips, and a strange desire pricks at my senses. It grips me by the throat. I’ve never wanted to experience something like this before.
I want to kiss her, just once, to see if she tastes as sweet as she looks. To see if she’s as sour on the inside as I know her to be. It’s a reckless thing to do. Stupid. Careless. If my father were here right now, he would be scolding me.
Never kiss them. Never show them emotion.
“I want to do something, but that means I have to remove my hand…” I whisper, my breath coming out in shallow pants now. “If you scream, I will hurt you… and right now that’s the last thing I want to do, but that doesn’t mean I won’t. Test me, make one little peep, and I’ll have you on your knees and my cock down your throat.”
She nods her head profusely as if to tell me that she’ll be quiet, and I smile against her skin. As I lift my hand off her mouth, I’m still expecting her to scream. If she were smart, she would. I’m feeling on edge tonight, walking the razor’s edge between right and wrong, and I’m not sure how far I’ll take things.
“What do you want?” Her groggy voice pierces through the heavy fog surrounding my head.
“You…I want to feel you. I want you to return the favor,” I grind my stiffened cock into her. Willing her to feel the need that she brings out in me. I don’t want to want her, but I do. I want her so badly it hurts. I crave her. I need her, but at the same time, I hate that it’s this way. It used to be simpler, but then she went and opened her mouth… she went and lied.
Now my obsession is fueled by something darker, something far worse than need.
“No. I told you, I don’t want you.” Using her hands, she tries to shove against my chest, but my body doesn’t even budge. Letting out a frustrated sigh, she continues, “Are you going to rape me? Like your brother raped my sister?” Her question catches me off guard, taking me out at the knees, and for one single second, I don’t have a response for her.
“You are just like him...aren’t you? You say he is innocent, but then you act like him. You’re both fucked up.”
Out of nothing more than pure reflex, my hand moves to her throat. Wrapping my fingers around the delicate column, I squeeze hard enough to cut off her words. She’s lost her chance to talk. Now, if she wants a say, she’ll have to fight for it.
“You’re wrong… so fucking wrong. I’m nothing like my brother...” I almost laugh but instead tighten my grip further until she is gasping for air. The sound she makes goes straight to my cock, and I know it’s wrong, so wrong, but it feels right. Her eyes bug out of her head, and her hands circle my wrists while her tiny nails dig into my skin, hard enough to draw blood.
Yes, hurt me, Willow.
Resting my cheek against hers, I loosen my grip, but only enough so she can suck in a labored breath. “See, I was always fucked up, the black sheep of the family. For as long as I can remember, there’s always been a darkness around me, but Brett… he was the good one. He was the best thing in my life, my rock, my best friend, and you took him away from me.”
“I didn’t…” She gasps, and I raise my head, so I can look into her eyes again. Her green eyes brim with tears. Two big fat tears escape her eyes and slip down her cheeks, the cold droplets crash onto my hands. I’m not sure what it is that causes me to release her, the tears, or maybe the look in her eyes?
Yes, I want her to be afraid of me. Her fear is what makes my blood sing, but the way she’s looking at me right now… like I might kill her? Yeah, I don’t like that.
“You did. You ruined my family, you ruined him, and you ruined me, all with one single lie.” I crawl backward off the bed, putting more distance between us because right now, I don’t know which side of me will win out. The one that wants to own her, or the one that wants to destroy her.
Willow sits up, clutching the blanket to her chest like it could possibly save her from me. What a joke. Her black hair is in disarray, and her lips are swollen. Fuck, I didn’t even get to kiss her. Not that she deserves a kiss… my first kiss. She deserves nothing, not to be here, and certainly not my attention.
“I didn’t lie, Parker. I swear to you. He was there that night. I saw him leave...” Her words are like acid rain pouring down on me, eating away at my resolve. I don’t want to hear her lies anymore. I don’t want to hear anything but silence. I. Need. Silence. Without even thinking about my next move, I cross the space that separates us, thread my fingers in her hair and pull her to my face, crushing our lips together, sealing my hate for her with a punishing kiss. My movements are so quick that Willow has little time to react until the kiss is underway.
Gasping into my hungry mouth, she releases her hold on the blanket, so she can use both hands to push me away. She shoves against my chest, but her efforts are futile. I’m not letting go now, not now that I’ve kissed her. Now I’m going to taste, devour, own.
With a handful of her hair, I pull her head back, making her yelp in pain. Her mouth opens, and I take that opportunity to taste her. I slide my tongue past her lips and into her hot wet mouth. Finally, she is mine. She moans, and I feel the sound vibrating through me, all the way to my toes. I need her, want her.
Without thinking, I deepen the kiss, melting into her. Sliding onto the bed, my senses are overwhelmed by her, her smell, her taste, the feel of her skin against mine. I feel compelled to strip her bare and fuck her slowly and deeply. I want to feel her inside and out. Nothing could stop me.
One moment her small hands are pushing me away, and the next, they are wrapping around my neck, pulling me closer. This way, I can feel every shapely inch of her body through the flimsy camisole and sleep shorts she’s wearing. Pebbled nipples press against my chest, and I bite back a groan. I want to suck them, bite them.
Willow moves beneath me, grinding herself against my body, bringing my attention elsewhere. With her slim arms wrapped around my neck, she pulls me closer, almost like she can’t get enough of me. Like the air, and our clothing is still too much space.
Then something inside my brain snaps. I feel its effect all the way down my spine. She wants this. The reality of it is a motherfucker, and I sober up at the thought.
She wants this… she wants me.
Breaking the kiss, I untangle her arms from around my neck and push up from the bed, needing to put distance between us. We’re both breathing heavily, and even in the dim light, I can see the shock written all over her face.
Does she think this is a game?
“What do you think you’re doing?” I growl at her.
“Me?” Her voice goes high-pitched, and her brows shoot up her forehead. “You came into my room, got in my bed, tried to… god knows what…I didn’t… You. You kissed me!” Her finger thrusts in my direction, and I’m half tempted to reach out and break it. I tamp the need down, but just barely...
“This whole time you pretended to hate me—”
“I do hate you!” She interrupts me.
“You didn’t hate me a minute ago when you were clawing at my back to get closer.” I hate this… this power she has. How weak I become when I think of her being mine. “This is not how it works. This is not for your pleasure. You don’t get to make the rules. I do.” I seethe, my jaw aching with the pressure of my clenched teeth.
Willow doesn’t seem to be fazed by my newly found anger. In fact, she looks as if she’s poised for a fight. “You might make the rules, and you might have all the power around here, but you can’t tell me how to feel. You will never have that power over me. You will never control my mind.”
And just like that, I’m back to wanting to wrap my hands around her throat. Instead, I curl them into fists, digging my nails into my palms. She’s making me lose control. We’re chaos riding a slippery slope into hell, and if we’re not careful, we’ll both get burnt to a crisp.
“Do you want me to hurt you, Willow? Do you want to see what happens when I lose control?” My voice drops, and something inside of me snaps.
Willow’s gaze hardens and lifts in defiance. I can see the fire flickering in her eyes. She wants to push me. To see how far I’ll go, and that only enrages me further, that she has this power over me, the power to make me lose control.
