Twisted Heartstrings

by A Kelly Sweeney

  Little does she know I had a one night stand with one of the band members back when I was 17, before I even found out about them. Keri and I had hit a party and a certain sexy blond guy and I hooked up. We were both drunk, which doesn't excuse the fact that we fucked in one of the bathrooms. It's been a secret I've carried over the years, telling no one. Not even Keri.

  “Ok, let's just head to Sublime so we can let loose and get drunk. I'm in the mood to party!”

  “You're always in the mood to party, Keri, but tonight, so am I!”

  As Keri and I make our way to the exit, we catch a glimpse of the guys down a hall as a door closes, most likely a staff member having gone through the door. Keri hooks her arm through mine and we continue on our way, happy that the bar is only a few blocks away, and just as close to our apartment.

  Danny, the doorman at the bar, knows us as regulars and waves us through. We usually come down once a month or so, occasionally more if we can afford it. Danny only knew us because we would flirt with him just to make him smile. He gives off the badass vibe due to his job, but we could tell he was a good guy. He always made sure we were looked out for whenever we were there. I’m pretty sure that Keri knew him, but she never would admit it.

  Keri and I head up to the bar to order our drinks. Sublime had once been a major hotspot but had become more of a neighborhood spot now that other dance bars have taken the clientele that came for the music. We loved that there is no real dress code, the staff is friendly, the music is great, and it isn't crowded. You have space to dance or find a spot in the back to sit.

  Keri and I could have gone home to change out of our band shirts, short shorts, and Doc Martens, but we chose not to. We have limited time before last call and it would have taken longer for us to change and fix our hair and makeup than it would have to just hit the bar how we were. We were vain enough, though, to at least fix our raccoon eyes a bit.

  Taking our drinks from the bartender, we find a spot near the dance floor to see how busy it is. Finishing our drinks, we head out to the dance floor. We wave to Jay, the DJ, who we’re friends with. Knowing he's here playing, we know it will be a night of older, remixed dance songs along with some newer stuff by request. Jay is one of the rare DJ's who stands out in the sea of DJ's who frequent the clubs, and he’s on the circuits hitting different clubs across town and occasionally out of town too.

  After a couple of songs on the floor, we head over to the bar for another round. We’re so busy laughing over something funny we remembered from years ago that we don't pay much attention to anything around us. As two of the guys in front of us go to vacate a spot at the bar my jaw drops, Nicholai and Christoph grin at us and nod before moving on. They had noticed us wearing their shirts.

  Nicholai's ash blond hair hung around the left side of his face, ending just below his chin. He has that straight-out-of-bed look. But I know that it’s from running his hands through his sweat covered hair as he was on stage. He has a fading green streak that’s mixed into his hair. His beard draws attention to his mouth; a mouth that you knew would be sinful by the shape of his pouty lower lip. One that, if I didn't like the Black brothers, I'd wonder what it would feel like. Hell, even with liking the Black brothers I still wondered.

  Christoph's chestnut hair hangs in waves to his shoulders. He has a nose ring I've never noticed before. His grin gives him a boyish, playful look. He definitely doesn't look his age; he appears to be younger. Most people claim him to be the baby of the group because of his baby face. In person he does look younger, almost carefree rather than the serious expression he wears when on stage or when doing promo stuff for the band.

  “Close your jaw, Toni,” Keri says, after they walk away.

  “But, that was,” I reply, stunned. “In the same bar as us.” I could barely articulate words. If they were here, that meant the rest of the band was too. And just knowing that makes me nervous.

  “Oh don't be going all crazy fan girl on them. We're here to have fun,” Keri snorts as she turns to the bartender to order our drinks and shots.

  I take the shot from Keri and pound it back. “Thanks.” I grab my other drink. We head back toward the dance floor and find a spot to stand with our drinks. I try to forget that I'd seen part of Twisted Tragic here in the same place as us. I really wanted to try and find them and hang out with them, but there was no way I'd go alone and Keri definitely wouldn’t go with me.

  We hit the dance floor again and lose ourselves in the music. Music is one of the things I have always allowed myself to get lost in. As a child, it was my escape from reality, a reality that I didn't want any part of, nor do I want to remember. Even when working, I allow myself to get lost in music, it's not like it's hard to some days, considering my boss is an asshole.

  When the bartender bellows last call, Keri and I head back to the bar to get our last drink for the night. While we’re waiting, Keri taps my arm and nods to my other side. A quick glance shows Lucius next to me. I grin at Keri and shake my head, so she knows I’m not going to initiate anything. I’m terrified to talk to him. I don't want to come across as a babbling idiot when I know I’ll never be able to form a sentence.

  Lucius usually keeps his raven hair short in the back and longer on top, but he’s been growing it out. My fingers itch to run through the shaggy length and mess it up even more than it already is. I was dying to know if it’s as soft as it looks. His eyes are bright, a complete contrast to his dark hair. His body heat is coming at me in waves, sending my underworked libido into overdrive.

  Leaning over me, Keri says, “Great show tonight. My friend and I caught it and have to admit it was better than when we caught you by chance in a bar years ago.” I wanted to blush with embarrassment; she's calling attention to us and I know we look less than perfect.

  “Thanks,” he responds in a deep voice as he looks us over. I highly doubt we live up to their standards for girls. They've had models for girlfriends, not averagely attractive girls. “Glad you enjoyed it.”

  “Hey, Luc, who's the chicks?” Alucard asks as he takes in his brother talking with us.

  I hadn't even noticed him come up behind us. Alucard's hair hangs down past his shoulders. Their hairstyles show the differences in their personalities and styles, despite them wearing similar clothes. Both brothers are wearing jeans that hug their muscular legs and show off how long they are. Their shirts are tight and their muscles are straining against the fabric. Usually Alucard wears cut off shirts, baring his strong arms.

  “Never caught their names, Al.”

  “Hi, I'm Toni, and this is my friend, Keri. We were just telling your brother that we enjoyed the show tonight compared to ones we caught when you were working the bar scene,” I answer Alucard. My hands shake and my cheeks feel like they’re on fire.

  A look passes between the brothers, as if they were silently communicating. Lucius gives a brief nod before Alucard says, “Why don't you girls come hang out after? We've got a party going on that we need to make an appearance at.”

  Keri and I exchange a look. We don't have any plans for the rest of the night or the next day. My plans are mainly to catch up on sleep; my boss has been working me pretty hard lately.

  “Sure,” Keri replies. She's always down for some fun, especially if it's something worth bragging about.

  We order our last round and follow the guys to the back of the bar where they’ve been hiding from the crowd. Alucard introduces us to the rest of the band, and I have to admit that they’re hotter in person than I thought. I did my best not to act like a complete awestruck fan. Secretly, I was excited because this was something I had wanted to do years ago, but was too chicken to talk to them when I first saw them play. And not to mention, I did my best to not look at the blond who I slept with before. No need to draw attention to that fact.

  When we finished our drinks, we followed the guys back to a hotel. I’m giddy in my steps and excitement is vibrating through my body. One of the guys opens the door to the ballroo
m where, in fact, there’s a huge party in full swing. There are fans, their road crew, and the media all mingling together, waiting for the band. The guys are rushed by adoring fans the moment we enter, so Keri and I slip away looking for someplace to get a drink.

  Chapter Three

  Lucius

  No matter how many times we've played in front of a crowd, I always feel jittery. It’s a mixture of excitement and nervousness. I know I have nothing to be nervous about; our fans love us, and being so close to our hometown, we know we have plenty of local fans here tonight. But the high we get from playing live is like no other. We never dove into the lifestyle of drugs like many other artists have. Sure, we drink a fair amount, but we never touch anything else. Heck, after a show I usually just have one drink with the guys before crashing. I’m always left exhausted after performing for hours and I’m usually the first to crash on most nights.

  Tonight kicks off yet another tour for us. We've been working non-stop for the last six years, since we scored a record deal, because we wanted to make it to the top. We've had seven North American tours with seven albums released. The last four tours we've headlined rather than toured as an opener.

  I have to admit that the fame that comes with being a Rockstar isn't always what we dreamed it to be. We knew about the long hours we'd be spending in studios and writing new music, but we didn't realize how much time we'd spend travelling for this or that. But we wouldn't want to change it. Sadly, the downfall is, we can't keep anything private. Mine and Al’s recent break-ups have been splashed everywhere, and my ex isn't helping things.

  My brother, Alucard, and I exchange looks from across the stage. We’re both high from the adrenaline that comes with playing, but our bond makes it more intense as we both feel the other’s excitement. As kids, we could always feel each other’s emotions, but as we got older, we learned how to control it. We never understood it until we were older and learned that many times twins could feel the mental or emotional state of the other, same as an empath would. We learned that when we got lost in playing we could feel one another's emotions. It's probably why we work so well as the guitarists; we can play off one another so easily.

  Our first set having finished, we've stepped off the stage to quickly down some water and dry off, while Nic talks with the crowd. He'll take his turn during the extended intro of the next song. Jas is drenched and changing his shirt; we've told him countless times to just go shirtless, but he never listens to us. Al and I usually opted to go shirtless the second half. Chris does the whole show shirtless, and Nic is hit or miss as to whether he does or not.

  I glance out into the crowd as I down my water. My gaze stops when I see a pair of ladies with t-shirts from back when we worked the bars. I can't help but smirk, remembering the fun times we had back then, when we were a little more carefree. It isn't until the blonde turns to face the stage that my heart stutters.

  Fuck me, it can't be her. It's been six years since I saw her at the bar before she disappeared. It's the face of the woman that has haunted me with regret for not having the balls to talk to her.

  “James,” I holler at the roadie. When he comes toward me, I point to the woman and her friend. “Find those girls after the show and either get them backstage or find out where they’re going, follow them if you have to.”

  “On it, boss,” James responds. He never lets me down when I want something.

  Alucard quirks an eyebrow but doesn't say anything as we relieve Nic and begin the extended intro to our newest single, “Blackened Heart”. The lighting on the stage prevents me from seeing her, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to, wanting to finally talk to her.

  When the show is finally over, we head off stage. Thankfully, we have another show here tomorrow so none of our stuff needs to be torn down tonight. All that is needed is the opener's stuff to be set back up. Death Mask is opening again and only travelling for our Canadian dates. We've picked up another opener for our leg in the United States.

  I hand off my guitar to one of our roadies while grabbing the towel they offered to dry off some of the sweat I worked up from performing. I hope James is able to get the girls back here for me. Alucard wraps me in a headlock no sooner than I have the towel slung around my shoulders.

  “So, little brother, what was up with you and James? Trying to pick some tail for tonight?”

  I punch my brother in the side; it's the only way to get him to let go. He rubs his side scowling at me. “You remember that girl from that summer? I think she’s here.”

  “The one you were too pussy to talk to? The one I would have picked up if you weren't interested in? She was pretty hot,” he chuckles.

  “Yeah,” I reply tossing the towel onto the couch in the dressing room. “She and her friend had on the t-shirts we sold that summer to try to make some extra cash. I haven't seen one of them in years.”

  “What are you going to do about it,” he asks.

  “Do about what?” Nic asks as he dries his hair.

  “Remember the summer we saved up to record our demo before we got signed? Luc was being a chicken-shit pussy about talking to that girl who showed up at every show,” Alucard said, snickering, deliberately trying to provoke a reaction from me.

  “Vaguely,” Nic answers. “There's been a lot of girls we see, not to mention fuck.”

  “Well, Luc here,” Al says, throwing his smelly armpit around my shoulders, “thinks he saw her in the crowd tonight. So I was asking him what he was going to do about finding his balls for once and talk to her.”

  I playfully shove my brother. “Fuck you, Al. I asked James to either get them back here or find out where they’re going after the show.”

  “Nice.” Nic smirks. “Going all stalker.”

  I give him the finger, not in the mood for their bullshit. I just want to know if it really was the girl from six years ago. I change out of my sweat-drenched clothes and into fresh ones. We'll have to wait until we’re back at the hotel to shower because we have the after party we’re supposed to hit soon.

  Chapter Four

  Toni

  Keri and I find a cash bar along the back wall. Ordering drinks, we try to find someplace to hang out. We’re approached by a couple of girls who noticed us come in with the guys. I had to laugh when they asked about our relationship with the band and figured them to be fangirls who would throw themselves at celebrities. I wouldn't chase anyone; if they wanted me, they would have to come to me. That's probably why I’m still single. I usually make a guy work for it if he wants me.

  Keri and I excuse ourselves to go get another beer. Unlike most of the girls here, we preferred beer to fruity, frou-frou drinks. After getting a new bottle, we decided to find somewhere else to stand and watch, seeing as we didn't know anyone else here and really didn't want to be talking to fake bitches.

  We laughed when we see Nicholai surrounded by girls at one point, most of them in skimpy outfits, trying to get his attention. I point out to Keri when I spot my boss; it figures he would be here of all places. Keri and I work for a magazine where she’s a personal assistant and I’m a research assistant.

  “Guess we should go say hi to Rick,” I grumble. Keri follows me as I make my way toward him. He recognizes us immediately.

  “Toni, Keri. It's a surprise to see you here,” Rick says, raising an eyebrow.

  “Yeah, last minute invite. We were at the show and got an invite when the band showed up at the bar we went to after,” Keri replies.

  “You know the band?” he asks.

  “Not personally. We struck up a conversation with them while waiting to be served and got the invite,” I say.

  “That's too bad; personal knowledge of them could be helpful for the article we’ll be running next month. We have an interview set up with them tomorrow before their next show. A personal twist would be nice, however we can't seem to find their girlfriends or ex-girlfriends to get comments. And the families refuse to talk to us.”

  After talking with
Rick for a bit longer, we decide to get another drink. But before we can make it to the bar, Alucard is beside us handing us drinks, Lucius standing not too far behind. At five foot nine I feel small next to them, and I’m sure Keri's five foot six frame feels even smaller.

  “Thank you,” I say, taking my drink.

  “The real party is upstairs if you want to come,” Alucard hints, wiggling his eyebrows up and down.

  “Lead the way,” I reply without looking at Keri. I don't care if she follows, I want to spend some more time with the Black brothers. Alucard scares me, and I find Lucius to be very quiet. And the way he looks at me sends shivers up my body.

  We follow the Black brothers to the bank of elevators, then ride quietly to their floor. I feel a pull to Lucius that has me leaning against the wall near him. I wonder what it would be like to kiss him, to feel his skin against mine. Knowing I wanted him and acting on it are two different things, though. I can’t afford to allow myself to get caught up in anything that will leave me more broken than I already am. And he has trouble written all over him.

  When we step off the elevator at their floor, we find doors propped open and people milling about, mostly girls. I feel overdressed because every single girl I see is wearing a skimpy outfit.

  “There's alcohol in almost all the rooms, help yourself,” Alucard says as he disappears.

  Keri leads the way to find something to drink, Lucius following behind. He grabs a couple bottles of beer, takes my hand, and pulls me away. He heads to a suite near the end of the hall. Leading me into the room, he continues to one of the bedrooms and closes the door.

  He lets go of my hand to deposit the beer on one of the tables.

  “I'm not that type of girl; one who would jump into bed with someone just because they’re a celebrity.” I need him to know that this will go no further than us talking.