Twisted Heartstrings

by A Kelly Sweeney

  “You do know that he’ll eventually get bored of a mousy girl like you and toss you aside.”

  I clench my teeth to keep from whipping around and telling her what a bitch she really is. I pull out my phone and put it on record, hoping to catch what she is saying, to use against her, something I should have done after the first comment.

  Cat got your tongue, whore? Or maybe you were sucking too much cock that your jaw hurts and you can't move it.”

  I close my eyes and take a deep breath to steady my emotions. She's trying to get a rise out of me, and if I can just stay calm she won't get the satisfaction she is looking for. I need to keep the whirlwind of emotions I’m feeling hidden so that not only she can't see it, but the guys can't either. They don’t need to know the pain I feel at her words.

  “You do know he's only using you to make me jealous, right? He'll take me back and leave you to be the pathetic little slut he used. He doesn't like girls who are easy, he likes the challenge some women know how to give him; a woman like me.”

  I take another deep, calming breath. I start to count backward from ten. I need to calm my anger before I let her have it.

  “Why he picked you to be the one to try to make me jealous, I have no clue; you're not even pretty. You're just a fugly little whore. And God knows what you might have. I'd have to make him get tested so that I don't catch whatever it is that you have.”

  A loud distorted sound comes over the speakers and Alucard is approaching the front of the stage with Lucius right behind him. Both wearing pissed off expressions. They must have seen mine and know that something is about to go down. They’re saving me from unleashing my fury on the pathetic bitch.

  “Nikki, get the fuck out of here,” says Alucard angrily.

  “Aww, big brother has to fight your battles for you, Luc?,” she says.

  “Nikki, we're done. You have no business being here,” Lucius says. I can tell he's pissed. Once again I'm glad it's not at me. Both of them look scary, like grizzly bears being woken from hibernation.

  Lucius waves a security guard over and tells him to remove Nikki and to ensure that she doesn't get back in tonight or any other night.

  As the guard takes Nikki by the arm and starts to lead the way out she starts screaming threats.

  I turn off the recording I was making and turn to face the guys. “If she gets in again, I’m not going to put up with the verbal abuse. I will knock her on her ass,” I fume. “If you want her dad to believe you’re serious about keeping her away, you can play the recording I just took of what she’s saying. I don't know how clear it is with the music playing, but it's got to be something that can help get rid of her.” I know my voice is betraying my fury at the horrid woman.

  Lucius hands his guitar to his brother and hops off the stage, pulling me into his arms. “She's gone now. It's ok, baby.”

  I pull back, “No, it's not ok. She can't keep stalking you. She can't keep treating people like crap. And she has no right to be calling people sluts or whores when she doesn't even know them. She's delusional if she thinks you would even consider taking her back. I was ready to turn around and deck her regardless of the consequences.”

  Pulling away, I turn around and storm off, completely and utterly pissed. What pisses me off even more are the tears that escape because of how angry I am. I know I’ll have to touch up my makeup, so I make my way back to the bus. A few of the things she said struck a nerve because I have thought them too; that he will leave me and that he deserves better. Especially someone who won't hide a terrible secret from him like I am.

  When I get to the bus, I head to the bedroom to get my stuff so I can clean my face off and reapply my makeup. I tune everything out as I get myself ready, knowing that I’ll need to be composed when I face the guys. They don't need to know how badly Nikki upset me, nor do they need to know my own self-conscious thoughts of inadequacy. Lucius doesn't need to know how insecure I feel about myself, nor how worried I am that what we have won't last.

  Once my makeup is fixed, I grab my notebook and head to the kitchen table to have someplace to sit with it. Turning it on, I start to upload the few pictures I took so I can look through them. I got some really good shots of them doing their soundcheck, for the short time I was there. I start writing a little bit in my daily journal in hopes to continue with my distraction.

  I’m shocked to see Jasper climb the stairs of the bus alone. I figured the guys would be with him. I give him a timid smile, not sure of what to say to him and scared of what might come out if I do talk to him. I’m embarrassed because I don't know how to talk to him. It’s that awkward feeling that you get when you don’t know how to approach a subject with someone, so you sit in silence instead.

  “I'm sorry you had to put up with Nikki,” he says, sounding remorseful as he runs a hand through the longer hair at the top of his head. It’s something that I’ve noticed he does a lot, almost like it’s a nervous habit. A habit that leaves his hair looking sexy as hell, not that I’m interested in him that way.

  “You have nothing to be sorry about, Jasper. It isn’t any of your fault that she's a total bitch and showed up. But I did get some good pictures while I was there. Want to see?” I ask to change the subject. I really don’t want to get worked up again after finally calming myself down.

  His face changes into a smile from the serious look he had before. Damn, he's gorgeous. I move over so that Jasper can sit next to me to see the pictures as I flip through them. I almost wonder if I can talk to him now or if we'll get interrupted. But how the hell do I bring up the subject?

  “We should post some of these on social media to hype people up for the show tonight,” he says, as he checks out the pictures.

  “We can do that. Next time, I think I want to try to get some from maybe the front of the stage, where I can try to move around and get better shots. You know, right on the stage.”

  Jasper gets up and goes to his bunk, returning with a tablet. “Let's get you added to our social media accounts so I can make you an admin.”

  Blushing, I say, “I'm already on the group's Facebook page and individual pages. I also follow on Twitter and Instagram.”

  I blush even more when Jasper chuckles. “Makes it easier for me to make you an admin so you can post stuff. Just make sure nothing too personal ends up on them. We usually have no problems with our individual accounts, but occasionally we may want you to upload some of these to them for us. Plus, our personal accounts are left so no one can find us on them; any searches lead to our public pages. So we'll each have to add you as friends to those accounts. Only our close friends and family can see anything on those. I’m sure Lucius will want to make it known he's off the market again by posting a picture of the two of you together.”

  “Yeah, that's not happening on any of the public pages. I don't need people randomly coming up to me on the street,” I reply. I honestly don't want our relationship to be public knowledge. It's not that I want him to hide me from the public, I just want our relationship to be as private as possible rather than open for the world to see and judge.

  Jasper makes quick work of getting me added to almost everything and refers me as a friend to the rest of the guys to add me to their private accounts. I’m shocked when Lucius adds me and then an “In a relationship” status request pops up, one asking me to confirm.

  A video call shows up on Jasper's tablet which he answers. He introduces me to his sister, Jade, who I find out is actually his twin. While he talks to her briefly, I start to upload a couple pictures to the different accounts. I try to give him privacy by ignoring him.

  “Hey, Jade,” a familiar deep voice says behind me. Looking up with a smile, I find Lucius leaning down to see Jade before leaning over to kiss me. If the kiss was meant to make me want him right now, then it worked. I kiss him back before he pulls away. He has a mischievous grin on his face.

  “What are you up to?” I ask cautiously, afraid of what he might say. If it's one thing I hate i
t is a surprise.

  “Just wait and see,” he says, still grinning as he taps away at his phone.

  My computer pings and I look. My jaw drops and my face goes bright red. He posted and tagged me in a picture he snuck of us kissing just now. My family will see this and they have no idea that I’m even dating anyone.

  “Oh my God. Everyone’s going to see that and no one knows I’m even in a relationship. It's not even like we've been together long.” Glaring at him, I hiss, “I was going to wait until I told my family and we knew what was going on between us before I announced anything.”

  I pull out my cell phone and send a group text to my family.

  Me: Sorry about the social media announcement. My new boyfriend didn't want to wait till I could tell you first before announcing that we’re together. And I apologize for anything he posts that may not be the most appropriate content.

  Thankfully, Jasper moved out of the way so that Lucius could sit next to me and I don't have to raise my voice for everyone to hear. The last thing I want is to embarrass myself by having a fight in front of everyone. I know eventually we'll fight in front of the guys, but I didn't figure it would be so soon.

  “Hey, it was just meant to be playful,” he says softly. He wraps an arm around me and pulls me into his side, kissing the top of my head. “I didn't think you would get upset about it.”

  “Playful is one thing. Announcing to the world we’re together is another. We don't even know what it is that we have, or where we’re going with it. I haven't even had a chance to tell my family, which now I just had to send them a text so they don't freak out. They may freak out anyway, especially my adopted brother.”

  “We can delete it if it's that much of a bother to you,” he says with concern and a touch of hurt in his voice.

  I let out a sigh. “No, it's fine. It'll eventually get out. I'd have just liked to have had the chance to tell them first.” I snuggle into his side, oblivious to anything else but him. And to hide from my obvious freak out.

  His chest shakes with a silent chuckle against my cheek. Pulling away from him, I return my attention to my notebook. I find several new notifications and my face turns beet red with embarrassment at comments to the picture and relationship status. Of course, the guys had to make teasing comments. Also, a friend request from Jaded Hart, and I see that she's friends with all the guys. I think to myself this must be Jasper's sister.

  My stomach lets out a betraying growl. We had a late breakfast, but skipped lunch, and I’m actually hungry. I may have to see if we can stock up on some snacks and maybe a few meal replacement shakes if we’re going to be eating at odd times.

  “We've got time before the show actually starts, want to go out and get something to eat?” Lucius asks.

  “Is it safe to even go out in public?” I ask, knowing that if he's recognized he may get mobbed by fans. Something I really wasn't looking forward to happening.

  “We either go out to eat or we order in and have to share with the rest of the guys.”

  “Why don't we see if we can order in, and when we get to a bigger city you can take me out. Less chance of getting recognized,” I answer with a smirk.

  Lucius turns to Nicholai, "Hey, Nic, can you order in some food?"

  "Sure."

  He then takes my hand and pulls me from the table back toward the bedroom, wanting to have some time alone with me before we spend the evening with everyone else.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Toni

  During the show I move around the front of the stage taking pictures. I've made sure to get some shots of the crowd, figuring it would be a good idea for fans to tag themselves for being at the show. I’m going to leave that decision up to the guys. I even managed to get a couple of really good shots of Jasper and Christoph hiding in the back.

  As the show ends, I make my way toward the side of the stage to get back in behind. Sadly, I’m detained by one of the local security guys who is refusing to let me get by. When he refuses to even try to verify that I should be allowed backstage, I decide to send a text to Lucius, hoping he has his phone with him.

  The security guard is my height of five foot six, and extremely stocky. Looking at his name tag, I address this cocky asshole, “Listen, Sean. I'm with the band. I'm part of their Social Media team. I don't have a pass made yet, but they will verify I‘m allowed past.”

  “I don't care who you are, lady. No pass. No access,” he says sternly.

  “I don't think you heard me. I‘m with the band. Hell, anyone can tell you that not only am I part of their team, but I am also dating Lucius Black,” I reply. I can hear the frustration in my voice. “How about you speak to one of your buddies backstage to verify. Tell them to talk to any one of the guys in the band and they will vouch for me.”

  “Listen up, chick. I've heard all sorts of excuses from girls trying to get backstage. You don't have a pass, so I’m not going to let you through. Now back off.”

  One of the stage hands overhears my argument with the security personnel and comes to my rescue, telling him that I was ok to pass, that I really was with the band and hadn't had a chance to have my ID card made yet. The security guard, Sean, tells him that if I don’t have the proper credentials, I am not getting past that point.

  Daniel, as it turned out, is their head engineer. He managed to get someone to go look for one of the guys so I could get past the moron barring my way. I was hoping this would not be a problem next time, because if it was, it's not going to be fun always having to wait for someone to come get me. I suppose I should be somewhat thankful that security is so tight. It means fewer random women can get backstage.

  I was glad that Christoph came to rescue me. I thanked Daniel for his help and followed Christoph backstage. There are clusters of people milling around, most having booze in hand. Christoph points me in the direction of Lucius and then heads off in another direction.

  When I step through the doorway into the dressing room, I find it packed with people. I hate small spaces, there’s no way I’m going to brave the room just to find him. I figure it will be best to head to the bus and start to upload some of the shots I took. I was just about to turn when someone shifts and I see him standing near the back of the room. He looks up and sees me in that moment and pushes away from whoever he is talking to, making his way to me with a sexy as hell grin on his handsome face.

  “Hey, baby,” he says, before giving me a quick kiss.

  “Hey,” I reply back, grinning.

  “I have someone I want you to meet.” His tone is excited, even though I know he’s probably tired from performing.

  Taking my hand, he leads me back to who he was speaking with, grabbing a beer for us both as we go past a bucket overflowing with bottles. Alucard is with whoever else Luc was speaking to. When we’re close enough, I notice a resemblance between the stranger and the brothers and quickly realize it's another sibling.

  Clasping his hand over the man’s shoulder, Luc says, "Damien, I want you to meet Toni. Toni, this is one of my brothers, Damien."

  "Hi," he says, as he shakes my hand.

  "Hello," I reply politely, almost shyly.

  Damien looks a lot like his younger brothers except he’s shorter. Apparently, he was in the area and decided to come see his brothers before they left.

  Damien asks me a fair number of questions since he noticed his brothers’ social media status updates and recognizes me from the picture posted earlier. I try not to reveal too much about myself because there’s so much that I don't want the general public to know about me; mostly about my upbringing. Damien seems to be fairly laid back, even if his job requires a lot of travel like mine. He's vague about what he does, which I'd expect since he doesn't know me from a hole in the ground and the fact that I'm being just as vague. Depending on how things go with Lucius, eventually he will probably open up to me more, and likely I'll open up to him too.

  After a while, Lucius excuses us and gives his brother a hug before leadin
g us out of the dressing room. I find myself laughing because of the pace he's set, and I'm struggling to keep up due to the difference in our height. Careful of my camera, he throws me over his shoulder, with me letting out a shriek, and he carries me back to the bus, fans going nuts as we pass by them. I can't help but laugh at his behaviour and knowing his sweat-covered clothes are going to make mine damp.

  He places me on the bottom step of the bus so I can make my way up without him hurting me. He puts my camera down on the table with my notebook and keeps pushing me toward the back of the bus. Before we even get to the room he's kissing me hungrily, lifting me so that I can wrap my legs around his waist.

  Reluctantly pulling away, I say, “Go have a shower, I still have work to do. We have plenty of time later to continue this.”

  With a sigh, he lowers me down, even though I know he doesn't want to wait. I move to go past him when we hear a scream of pleasure along with a few grunts and moans come from the bedroom area. I glance at the door and back at Lucius. He shrugs. “Probably Christoph or Nicholai with some chick. Good thing we didn't interrupt them.”

  “Yeah, that would have been awkward,” I reply. Especially since I know I wouldn't want to be walked in on. I'm just glad I'm not as vocal as whoever the chick is, or at least Luc doesn’t let me be. I head toward the kitchenette to get started on sorting through the pictures I took tonight and doing a quick write-up while my hotter than sin boyfriend showers. To focus, I throw on my playlist and headphones. My fingers fly across the keyboard as I type up some info on today's events, leaving out the PR nightmare that is his ex.

  When I get to the photos, I start to edit some of them to make them a little better. I'm so lost in what I’m doing I nearly jump when the seat shifts next to me on the bench. Pulling off one side of my headphones as I turn, I notice Jasper sitting next to me. I show him some of the pictures I took and he suggests a few to post. I show him the crowd shot and he likes the idea of posting it so fans can tag themselves to show they were there. I log in to Facebook and start uploading a few of them into the group page and then adding ones of each of them to their individual pages.