Twisted Heartstrings

by A Kelly Sweeney

  With how much fun we had, I'm more than convinced that Toni is definitely the one for me, that we're tied to one another. I know it'll take a hell of a lot to break the strings that hold us together.

  Each surprise I revealed today, I know Toni was happy and excited about. I just hope she knows that she's worth spoiling; that she'll take the chance to go all in. I know she's not used to being spoiled much, but I will do anything to make her happy, even if it means having to leave the band. Part of me is hoping she'll stay on and take over most of our social media for us.

  Toni groans the moment she kicks her feet free from her shoes. We did a fair amount of walking downtown. It was nice to just enjoy ourselves, to pretend like we were vacationers. Several times Toni surprised me in uncharacteristic displays of affection, usually when we did something fun. Window shopping wasn't at the top of my list, but Toni enjoyed it. My bank account, not so much. At a jewelry store, I bought a necklace I'd seen Toni admiring before balking at the price. It was white gold with interconnecting hearts on a thin chain.

  Taking her hand, I lead her to the bed. Sitting down, I have her settle between my legs. “Close your eyes,” I order. When she complies, I remove the necklace from my pocket and put it on her, kissing her bare neck when done. “Open them,” I whisper in her ear.

  Her hand flies up to the necklace, her eyes widening before standing to look in the mirror. While she does, I pull off my boots, knowing she needs to process the gift.

  “Luc,” she calls softly. Lifting my gaze to her I can see the anguish in her eyes. “It's too much.”

  Standing, I walk toward her. Tilting her head to look at me, I tell her, “It's a gift. Get used to it, baby. I like being able to spoil you. You deserve it.”

  “But it cost...”

  “I don't care about price tags, Toni. I saw how much you liked it when you were looking at it.” I don't care that I've cut her off, she needs to know that she's worth everything. Leaning down, I kiss her again, effectively quieting her.

  A knock on our door pulls us apart. I begrudgingly leave her to answer. Al stands on the other side holding a bag out for me. I'd sent him on an errand for me when an idea struck me. “Thanks,” I say before closing the door.

  Grinning, I turn back to Toni who's admiring her necklace in the mirror again. Slipping my hand into the bag, I pull out the tissue wrapped item. Pulling the paper from it, I smile when I see it. He had to go to SoHo just to find someone who could make it. It's distressed guitar strings entwined together, small beads holding together the twisted pieces. It's made into a heart-shaped bracelet. I hope she loves the twisted heartstrings.

  Walking to her, I take her hand and slip the bracelet on her wrist. Her eyes shoot from the bracelet to mine and back. Lifting her arm, she admires the bracelet. Smiling, she throws herself at me. “It's so beautiful and thoughtful!”

  “I hoped you'd like it. When I figured out you liked hearts I wanted to surprise you with this, a way for you to always keep me close. They're strings from one of my guitars.”

  The way she beams at me let's me know I made the right choice with this gift. I'll have to remember that it’s the thoughtful ones she likes better. I thought about getting her one of those charm bracelets, but I doubt we'd be able to find charms that represent places we see.

  “I love the bracelet,” she says, pulling me from my thoughts. Leaning up on the tips of her toes, she kisses me. I deepen the kiss, lifting her from her feet and wrapping her legs around my waist..

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Toni

  My month with the guys flies by quickly. It was more than I could have hoped for. I've spent a lot of time helping Jasper with their social media accounts. And the venue pictures I take bring a rush of people to their fan pages, with new members joining after every show to tag themselves at the events. My bosses are ecstatic with how much information I have gathered for the article. The guys were able to hook me up with talking to their families online to get information as well--some embarrassing stories from their youth along with childhood photographs.

  Mrs. Black has demanded I come down for dinner one weekend when I get back so she can meet the new woman in her son's life. She’s been curious about me, since it's been everywhere that Lucius and I are together. Apparently, Alucard has raved about how well Luc and I get along and how happy he is.

  Nikki has been stirring the pot online every chance she gets. There are a few fans who are raising a stink about our relationship, and my own inbox has been blowing up with nasty messages. But I don't care; it's a price I have to pay to be with him. My association with him has brought me into notoriety, being that I stole the heart of a man whom so many others wanted.

  We’re in Florida by the time my month is up, and thankfully, on my last day we don't have to travel anywhere. They don't have to be back on the road until the following morning after my flight leaves. Lucius and I ditch everyone to spend some time alone together. He takes me to one of the beaches, where we go for a walk along the surf. The trunks he has on only enhance his body, especially with the way they hang off his hips. I feel self-conscious in the skimpy bikini we picked up for me; it’s revealing more of my body than I want to. When his hungry eyes take me in, I’ve never felt more beautiful, desired even.

  We don't talk much as he holds my hand while we walk. I know his thoughts are similar to mine, neither of us wanting me to leave. But I have to get back to work. Jasper and I had talked one night when I couldn't sleep about me staying on and handling their social media like I have been. It’s something I have enjoyed and will miss doing. He knows I plan to try to keep helping with it while I’m home. The least I can do is answer some of the fan questions.

  We make our way back to where we left our stuff on the beach and decide to lay on the sand. I lay on my stomach with my feet in the air, staring at Lucius. I can never get enough of looking at him. He lays on his side with his fingers running lightly up and down my back, sending shivers across my body.

  “Have you thought about taking Jasper up on the offer to keep working for us?” he asks finally.

  “I have, but if I do, I need to tie up some loose ends at home before I can think about committing to it,” I reply. “But I need to think about it some more. I don't want to make the decision to do it because I don't want to leave you or because I’m lonely without you. And I don't want the guys mad that I’m hanging around all the time.”

  “They won't be mad. They’ll probably miss you as much as I will. They've had fun with you hanging around. They think of you as one of us.”

  “Won't you be sick of me being around you all the time?” I ask. Even after this month of being together, I still can't help but feel insecure about our relationship. I know I love him, but I haven't told him how I felt and he hasn't said anything either.

  “I could never be sick of you. When we get to Vegas we could always get married.” His grin is teasing, contradicting his serious tone.

  I blush furiously, shocked that he would even suggest marriage when he hasn't said the words that I've wanted to hear from him more than anything.

  “If I were to get married, I'd want my family to be there for it.” The email I sent them when Luc and I got together brought us closer. I talk to them almost daily whether it’s a phone call, text, or email. They’re happy to see me being happy.

  “We could fly them in for it. We have a couple of shows and then a few days off in Vegas.”

  “You're serious?” I ask, shock evident in my voice and on my face as I look at him.

  “Yes, I told you before I knew where I wanted this to go.”

  His eyes are intense and serious as I look into them, mesmerized. I swallow. He wants to marry me, like really marry me. “Lucius, I don't know what to say.”

  “Say that you’ll at least think about it. We have a few weeks before we get to Vegas, but we can pull it off. Once the tour is done, we can take off someplace for our honeymoon or plan to do a wedding our families are involved wit
h.”

  “I promise I'll think about it,” I reply. My head is spinning. He still hasn't said the words, but what he's proposing must mean it's how he feels about me.

  Smiling, he leans toward me and kisses me. Even though it's not deep or intense, I can still feel the stirrings of desire. I sigh into his mouth, knowing that he will always have this effect on me.

  “So, how are you going to fill your time once I leave?” I ask, hoping to lighten the mood.

  His eyes darken. “If it's not too late after the shows, I hope to spend the time talking to you. I know I won't be able to talk to you throughout the day if you’re working.”

  “Yeah, my boss would probably get pissed if I spent all my time talking to you rather than focusing on doing my job. I know they’re happy with what I've managed to gather for them for the article, though.”

  A ringing sound cuts through the air and Lucius groans as he fishes his phone from the pocket of his board shorts. Looking at it, he curses and types back.

  “What's wrong?” I ask.

  “Jasper just texted that some fans have recognized me here and have posted pictures of us, giving away our location”

  “Shit, we should get out of here before we get mobbed,” I say. Getting time alone has been difficult for us; we’re always spotted, no matter how low profile we try to be.

  “Yeah, it won't be long before that happens.” As he stands, he reaches down for my hand to help me up. Gathering the towels that we brought from the hotel, we head back to the car we rented.

  I know Lucius doesn't mind taking time for fans, but I also know he doesn't want to have to share what is our last day together. I know I don't want to have to share him either; it's why I was glad he suggested we take off by ourselves. We've only had short stints of time alone in the past month, usually when we get to a city early enough that we have time to go do something before the show. Of the cities we've been to, New York was my favourite by far. We were able to be tourists and go see a few of the sights that I'd heard about but never got to see the last time I had been there.

  At the car, I pull on the summer dress I bought to wear with the bathing suit while he pulls on his t-shirt. It’s a shame that he’s covering his sculpted body. I know firsthand the hardness of his chest and every contour of his delicious frame. I've learned every spot to lick, kiss, touch, and nibble that turns him on and makes him lose control. And just as I make him lose control, he does the same to me, mastering my body with a single look or touch.

  I don't share with anyone the insecurities I have about leaving, and I hope it doesn't show on my face when they hit me. I fear that while on tour, when I’m not with them, that Lucius will meet another woman who will turn his head. One who would take him from me. Though I know he’s loyal, I can't help but wonder if he would leave me for another woman. He's never shown other women any attention, other than signing autographs and posing for pictures--even posing he will look at me and smile for me. He's never given any reason for me to be insecure, but I just can't stop it from happening.

  The GPS in the rental gives us directions back to the hotel. Lucius and I both grow quiet, lost in our own thoughts. I know tonight he wants to take me out for dinner on a rare date, with real food. Most of our meals have been fast food. The guys find time to work out to keep in shape, and I've even joined in with trying to keep the weight off from the unhealthy eating lifestyle we've grown accustomed to.

  We leave the car with the parking attendant at the hotel and make our way back to our room. It’s still early, considering we've only managed to get to spend a few short hours at the beach. There isn't much we can do without attracting attention, so I was kind of shocked we managed to get as much time in at the beach as we did.

  Once the door to our room closes, I’m pressed against the wall with Lucius kissing me hungrily. His tongue runs my lower lip, seeking entrance. I sigh, letting him in to deepen the kiss. I can feel the hem of my dress being lifted and his fingers pulling on the ties of the bikini bottoms. Before I even realize it, he has his shorts shoved down low enough to release his hard member and I’m being lifted and impaled on him.

  Gasping, I realize that we’re skin to skin. We've been careful, even with me on birth control, to always use condoms when we make love. This will be the first time he hasn't bothered with one.

  “Fuck, baby, you feel so good,” he moans against my lips.

  With my legs wrapped around his waist, he drives into me with enough force that I can't control the sounds coming from my mouth. His pace is fast, as if he seeks a quick release. Slipping a hand from around his neck, I reach under my skirt to rub myself, trying to bring my release to push us both over the edge.

  Most of the time when Lucius makes love to me I never know if it will be hard and fast or slow and tender. It’s always a surprise, and more often than not we are left either wanting more of one another or completely sated, yet still wanting more.

  As my release rocks my body, I bite into his neck to keep from screaming. He grunts as he empties his seed into me, gently rocking it out. Part of me fears getting pregnant, and a part of me hopes that I will. I fear I would never be able to be the parent a child deserves. But a small part of me wouldn’t mind having a little reminder of Lucius if we were to ever to not be together.

  Pulling away from the wall, Lucius carries me through the bedroom into the bathroom before setting me on the counter. He turns on the shower, stripping his clothes off before stripping me of mine. Leading me into the shower, he washes me gently from head to toe, licking and kissing me everywhere, including bringing me to another orgasm that makes me feel boneless. Not wanting to leave him hanging, I return the favour, knowing how much he loves having my mouth on him.

  We spend the remainder of our afternoon lying in bed naked, talking, touching, and kissing. I almost want to call to cancel my flight so I can stay. But I know I need to get home and back to work. My boss is already hinting that I’ll be going out on assignment the following week to meet with another band to do research on them; I was going to be delving into their childhood. Usually an assignment like that means I’ll be gone for a while, and I wasn't sure where they’re sending me because they haven't given me any details. I had hoped that I could at least take the weekend and go home to visit my family and live up to my promise to visit Mrs. Black.

  “Let's order in,” I suggest. I don't want to go out and chance getting recognized by the public. I want to be selfish and keep Lucius to myself, even if I feel bad that we’re not spending any time with the guys before I leave.

  He chuckles. “I want to take you out, baby. It's not like we've gotten to go out much while you’ve been with us. I want to at least take you on a date before you have to go.”

  I smile at his sweetness. “But I want to be selfish and keep you to myself. You know you’ll get recognized anywhere we go.”

  “Up, and get ready,” he says, lightly smacking my ass.

  Pouting, I do as he says. I pull out a pair of black lace matching underwear and root through my bag for my little black dress. I pull out the only pair of heels that I brought, which haven’t been worn until now. As I get dressed, I peek over and see him pulling on a pair of dark washed jeans and a tight-fitting t-shirt. I quickly pull my hair into a messy bun and apply some makeup.

  I find myself smiling as we make our way down to the lobby. As much as I want to keep him to myself tonight, it is nice to be able to actually go on a date. I just hope we don't run into fans who will interrupt us too much. Thankfully, fans haven't figured out what hotel we’re staying in like they did in New York. It was so bad there, we had to change hotels.

  At the restaurant, Lucius takes my hand as we are led to our table. He reserved a table for us earlier, so we'd have one waiting for us. We’re getting a few looks as we pass through the dining room. I know we make an odd couple, especially with me dressed up and him in jeans and a t-shirt. Or it could be our physical differences, his dark features to my light. Or they could have reco
gnized who he is and wondered what he’s doing with an average girl like me.

  For the most part, we’re left alone during our dinner. Our table is at the back, in a kind of secluded nook. The lights are dim and candles flicker on every table, giving the room a romantic atmosphere. Lucius has made me feel special with each of our rare dates; he puts effort into what he plans for us. A few of them have been private tours to various places he thought I might like. That alone would have made me fall in love with him; being compatible is just a bonus.

  My thoughts drift to Keri; we've barely spoken while I've been gone. Not for lack of trying. It’s just that usually one of us is busy when the other is free. And there was no way I was sacrificing time with Lucius to talk to Keri, especially when it was times we were alone, with him rocking my world. I can't wait to be able to talk to Keri and get her advice on what I should do. I’m torn between a job I love and hope to advance in, or a job that will allow me to spend time with the man I love but would never get me anywhere.

  I wasn't even sure if I would be able to handle the lifestyle they lead being on the road, and the various parties or events they have to attend. It’s been easy this past month because it’s short term, but tours can last months on end. Then there is the time working on new material, recording, and of course making music videos, giving interviews, or last-minute changes to the agenda. We had to cut one of our dates short in Toronto so that he could go to a signing that had been planned at the last minute. I don't want to be the type of girlfriend who comes to resent what her man does for a living, knowing that he clearly loves it. Nor do I want a man to resent what I do for a living. It isn't fair to each other if that’s the case.

  After dinner, we make our way back to the hotel, and I can't help getting nervous. I want to tell him how I feel, to blurt out all my insecurities, but I don't want to ruin what will be our last night together for who knows how long.

  Inside our room, he pulls me into his arms. “You're being awfully quiet tonight.”