by Emma Slate
“We don’t have Dev. He’s still running around—pissed as hell, ready to set more fires.”
“Franco found Dev.”
“He did?” I gaped. “When?”
“A few hours ago. Franco already handed Dev over to Alejandro’s men. The deed is done.” He reached out and laced his fingers through mine. “You’re cold.”
“Yeah.”
My gaze dropped to the bed sheets.
“Do you know what this means?” he asked finally.
“It means I had no part in ending Dev’s life, and that doesn’t sit right with me. I’ll feel like he’s always out there, somewhere.”
“You’ll have to make it right within yourself. I know you think pulling the trigger and killing him would ease your grief, but it would turn you into someone else. Someone you might not like.” He shook his head. “More importantly, now that Dev is with Alejandro’s men, we get to go home. They’re professionals, in what they do. Dev is as good as gone. We’re safe.”
I looked up to meet his somber gaze. “We get to go home.”
He nodded. “You get to recover in our bed. Silas gets to pick out colors for his room. We get to step outside and not have to look over our shoulder and wonder if Dev is gunning for us. It’s over.”
It wasn’t enough.
I didn’t get my revenge.
I didn’t get to watch the life fade from Dev’s eyes.
All the pain and suffering I’d endured at his hands didn’t have an outlet.
Colt stared at me, his dark gaze intense. “This is life, Mia. Sometimes things don’t play out the way we want them to.” He squeezed my hand. “You’ve gotta find a way to let this be enough. Otherwise…otherwise, it’ll eat away at you and there will be nothing left worth living for.”
The next morning, Boxer and Zip paid me a visit. After Boxer made a few jokes about my appearance, he stared at Zip and said, “You tell her.”
“Tell me what?” I asked.
Zip and Boxer exchanged a look, having one of those silent bro conversations I was never privy to.
“Come on, guys. Tell me what’s going on.”
“Colt left,” Zip said.
“He left?” I asked, mouth agape. “What do you mean he left?”
“I mean he’s gone. As in not here. He said he’d be back in a few days,” Zip added. “But he didn’t tell me where he was going.”
“Why would he tell you?” I pressed. “You guys were at each other’s throats.”
“They made up in prison,” Boxer quipped. “Not like that, but they’re brothers again.”
“Glad to hear it,” I murmured.
I glanced out the window. I’d only just woken up an hour or so ago. A nurse had come to take my vitals but then had left quickly. Colt hadn’t been in my room when I’d opened my eyes. I thought nothing of it, thinking that he might’ve gone for coffee.
But he was gone. Without a word.
“I got a theory,” Boxer said slowly. “You wanna hear it?”
“I think you’ll tell it to me whether I want to hear it or not,” I said, dragging my eyes away from the window.
“I think he went for a ride,” Boxer said. “To clear his head. To put it back on straight. He…”
“He what? Spit it out, Boxer.”
“God, you’re fucking cranky,” he stated.
“I’m about to get fucking crankier,” I muttered.
Boxer sighed. “Colt might’ve punched a wall while you were in surgery. He’s been off ever since. Riding is the only thing that clears out the cob webs.”
“I can’t believe he left me.”
“He didn’t leave you,” Zip said. “He went to go find himself.”
“Find himself. What the fuck is that? He has that luxury, but I don’t?” I gestured to my leg. “I’ve got months of physical therapy to look forward to. Basically being bed-ridden. And I never got to pay back the man who killed my best friend. Find himself?” I sounded like a banshee, screaming and caterwauling like a wounded animal.
Hell, I was wounded, and it wasn’t just my leg.
“What about me? How the fuck could he do this to me? We’re supposed to be a team. You don’t just—he really took off?”
Boxer and Zip both nodded.
I leaned my head back against the pillows. “This is unbelievable.”
I wished Joni was here so she could shed some light on her brother. “When is everyone coming back from the cabins?”
“Not for a little while,” Zip said. “We wanna make sure all the shit is wrapped up here before we bring them home.”
“What other shit? Dev is gone, apparently. What else is there to handle?”
Boxer scratched his chin. “Alejandro’s men are cleaning the streets looking for the Iron Horsemen. It’s not a bright idea to be riding around Waco wearing a cut right now.”
“Don’t watch the news,” Zip said. “They’re reporting solely on the crime wave. It’s bad.”
“So it really is over,” I said in amazement. After weeks of fear and terror, of being on lockdown and the losses, it was done.
“Yeah, it is,” Boxer said with a nod.
“Have you talked to Joni?” I asked Zip. “How’s she doing? Is everyone okay? Silas?”
“They’re fine. The kids don’t know anything that’s going on. Silas is doing well from what Darcy said.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. One less thing I had to worry about.
There was a knock on the door, followed by Knight popping his head in. He looked at me in concern. I nodded for him to enter. He walked through the door and held it for Zip and Boxer who moved toward the exit. Boxer grasped my big toe and gave it a tweak before leaving.
Knight came all the way into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. He examined me for a long moment and then said, “Christ.”
“I’m okay.”
He shook his head. “You’re not the one who’s supposed to be reassuring me. I’m supposed to do that for you. I sat with Colt, you know. When they brought you back from surgery. The both of us sat by your bed waiting for you to come out of anesthesia. Your boy was a real wreck.”
“And you?”
He sighed. “Same. Boxer and Zip…did they tell you about Colt?”
“About how he’s gone? Yeah. They said he went for a ride to clear his head.”
“I don’t know you well,” Knight said slowly. “So I’m gonna need you to be honest with me.”
I looked at him in confusion. “Okay.”
“What’s your mental state? I mean, how fragile is too fragile?”
“You know where he went, don’t you?”
After a moment, he nodded. “I followed him to the parking lot. We had some…words.”
“You had some fists, you mean?”
He smiled slightly. “It might’ve come to that. I got protective over you. He landed a punch. I hit him back. Then I made him tell me where he was going.”
“Where did he go?”
His eyes met mine. “To get your revenge for you.”
I dreamed the devil climbed into bed with me.
He held me in his arms, kissed my lips, tasting of violence and seduction. He smelled like gunpowder and leather, woodsmoke and man.
He felt solid and real, but I knew he was a figment of my morphine-induced imagination. I cried tears of bereavement because I knew once I opened my eyes, he’d be gone and I’d be alone again.
So for the time being, I gave into his touch, I gave into the feeling of not being so alone.
And when I came in my sleep, his lips were there to steal my cries.
I cracked an eyelid, taking a moment to get my bearings. My head was not resting on a pillow, but on a warm male chest.
“Colt?” I whispered.
“Hmm.” His fingers played with my hair.
“Where did you go?”
He paused. “I thought Knight told you.”
“He did.” We were silent a moment and then I asked, “How?”
“I asked Flynn for his help. Cost me a bit. To be there at the end.”
“What did it cost you?”
“Alejandro Garcia is still going to have some jurisdiction in Waco through the Jackals. They’ll take the East side. We’ll take the North side. Garcia will branch out east toward Louisiana when he wants to expand. Sanchez will branch out north toward Idaho.”
“Divide and conquer, eh?” I asked.
“Criminals gotta eat too, babe.”
I huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, I guess they do.” I paused. “You think Alejandro and the Jackals will keep their end of the bargain?”
“I don’t know. I guess time will tell.”
“What about the bloodshed? Waco’s seen enough, don’t you think?”
“We stay on our side, they stay on theirs. I’ve talked to Franco. He’s assured me that Sanchez doesn’t want to see the loss of innocent lives. Can’t say the same for Garcia.”
I traced the warm skin that peeked out from the collar of his T-shirt. I couldn’t worry about that now. There would always be unknowns. Danger would continue to lurk around the corner. I was an MC president’s Old Lady. It came with the territory.
I didn’t ask if he got to be the one to pull the trigger, or if he was just there to watch Dev’s life come to an end. Not that Colt would tell me, anyway. And it had nothing to do with the fact that we weren’t married and I wasn’t protected under spousal privilege. He wouldn’t want it to weigh on me.
“Were you mad when you found out I’d left?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you still mad?”
“I don’t think so.”
“No?”
I tilted my chin up to look at him. “Thank you. For making sure it’s truly over. Thank you for being there for me.”
His gaze softened. “You’re welcome.”
I rested my head against his chest and snuggled up against him.
“Mia?”
“Yeah?”
“Marry me.”
Epilogue
One year later…
* * *
“Silas,” I said into the phone. “Silas, take a breath.”
“Sorry,” he said. “I’m just excited. You and Colt will be back in time, right?”
“Yeah, honey.” I looked at my husband, who was naked from the chest up and slowly undoing the button of his jeans, a wicked glint in his eye.
“We’ll be home. First place in the science fair. Like we’d miss watching you get that big blue ribbon. I’m proud of you, Silas.”
“Thanks,” he said. “It was all because of Ramsey. He helped me.”
“You should call and tell him you appreciated his help.” I grinned at his enthusiasm, even though I wasn’t terribly excited that Ramsey Buchanan had taught my son how to rig delayed timers for bombs and disguised them as heat lamp timers for chicken coops in an agricultural setting. Hopefully winning first place at the science fair meant that Silas was on a solid, academic path instead of a criminal one.
“Where are you guys now?” Silas asked.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Colt strip off his jeans, quickly followed by his boxers. He gave himself a few pumps and leered at me.
I turned to him and gave him a sharp glare, which only made him laugh.
“We’re in Florence, Oregon,” I said. “Tiny little town off the coast. There are sand dunes here, Silas. Do you think Captain would love the beach?”
“Yeah, he would, definitely!”
“Then we’ll have to bring you both here for a visit. I’m sorry we couldn’t bring you this time.”
“Mia,” he said, sounding like an adult instead of the twelve-year-old-boy he was. “People who get married go on honeymoons. It would be weird if you’d brought me. You don’t bring kids on your honeymoon.”
My hand absently went to my stomach.
I’d just entered my second trimester and had only recently started to show. Joni had caught me throwing up on my wedding day and had called me on it. I’d finally come clean with her—the only other person who knew was Colt. I hadn’t been ready to share it with the Blue Angels. I was superstitious; whenever anything good happened in my life, someone or something came in to shit all over it.
“Mia? You still there?” Silas asked.
Colt came up behind me, placed a large palm on my belly, and yanked the phone from my ear. “Hey, Silas,” Colt said. “How’s it going?”
I looked up at him and caught him smiling and nodding.
“Atta boy. Knew you could do it. I’m about to take Mia out for a really romantic dinner. Can we call you tomorrow? Great. Take care, kid.”
He hung up and chucked my phone aside.
“He’s twelve,” I said. “Not an idiot. Pretty sure he knew you wanted to get into my pants.”
“You’re not in pants. You’re in a dress. And I can’t wait to get you out of it.” Colt quickly stripped me of my blue sundress and flung it aside. And then he tossed me on the bed.
I landed with a gentle bounce, and before I knew it Colt was gripping me by my legs and dragging me down to the edge.
He got on his knees and grinned.
His mouth devoured me, his tongue lapping at my center, making me thrash and moan.
“Damn,” he muttered between my thighs. “You’re more sensitive now than you were before you got pregnant.”
“Shut up and keep going,” I commanded.
He laughed and then did as he was told. His hands slid to my thighs, his palm grazing the scar on my thigh. It was hardly visible now that it was covered by a tattoo. I’d put a lot of thought into the artwork and had decided on a dandelion with its seeds blowing in the wind, and Shelly’s name spiraling up the stem.
Colt knew exactly what to do to make me scream his name, and while I was still crying out for him, he slid up my body and slipped inside me.
He was gentle, yet relentless in his thrusts. I could feel him everywhere as our open eyes locked on each other. He reached underneath me and held me against him. He ground into me, hitting all the right places, filling me up.
“Colt,” I whispered.
“I know.” His lips took mine in an insatiable kiss and didn’t stop plunging into me. Not until I was coming again. And then he was shouting my name. My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest from happiness.
After, he rested his head against my naked breasts, entwining his fingers with my left hand, his thumb grazing the ring finger tattoo. He’d given me a wedding band, which I never wore because I hated how it felt against my skin, but the tattoo…that was forever, something that couldn’t be lost.
I’d lived so much life in the past year.
I’d finished my degree. I’d rebuilt Dive Bar and renamed it Shelly’s. It was turning a profit—and not just because the Blue Angels used it as its unofficial headquarters to do business and launder money.
Once the smoke had cleared from Grammie’s house, I’d assessed the damage and realized it could’ve been so much worse. I’d lost a few mementos in the fire, but not all. Grammie’s teacup had survived, along with my favorite framed photographs.
I’d remodeled the house entirely and bought brand new modern furniture and then had Laura and Brock move in. They’d been living in less than stellar conditions because of a shitty slumlord. The Blue Angels had taken care of that problem, but I’d wanted her to have a home. A real home. With flower bushes and a roof that didn’t leak. Grammie would’ve been happy the house had become a home once again.
“Are you happy, darlin’?” Colt looked up at me, resting his chin on my breastbone.
“Yeah, I’m pretty happy.” I grinned.
“What about the baby?” His hand stole across my stomach. “Are you happy about that, too? For a woman who wanted to wait to have children, you adopted one and then got knocked up with another within a year.”
I laughed and wrapped my arms around his neck. “Someone told me it was bullshit to live by society’s rules and standards
.”
“Who told you that? Sounds like a very smart guy.”
“One the smartest men I know,” I said softly. “One of the kindest, strongest, most beautiful men I know.”
“You’re not talking about Boxer are you?”
“Get off me,” I said with a laugh, pushing against his shoulders.
He chuckled and moved off my body. My stomach growled.
“You did promise me a romantic dinner tonight,” I told him. “But can I tell you something? All I want is Huckleberry ice cream.”
“I can make that happen,” he said, reaching for his shirt. “I blame your father for your new Huckleberry obsession.”
A few months prior, Knight had sent us Huckleberry jam from a local farm in Coeur d’Alene. My addiction to it only seemed to grow in tandem with my pregnancy.
“Speaking of your father,” Colt began as he pulled on his jeans. “He’s bringing Bishop down for a meeting with Franco and Ramsey.”
“Yeah, he told me.”
“When did he tell you?” he demanded.
“A few days ago when I talked to him. Are you guys finally going to expand?”
Colt nodded.
It had been a prosperous year after the war, and there had been very little bloodshed in the streets of Waco once Dev had been dealt with. The cartels were making too much money to let their men get out of control, the MCs were protecting the city from any outsiders who might try to edge in and cause anyone harm, and it seemed like everything was smooth sailing. Still, I didn’t expect it to always be like this because I knew better.
My phone vibrated from somewhere under the bed. I crouched down to grab it and saw Joni’s name flashing across the screen.
“It’s your sister,” I said to him.
“Answer it.”
I pressed a button and said, “Hello? Joni, you’re on speaker phone.”
“I’m engaged!” she shouted.
“Ow. And oh my God, congratulations!” I looked at Colt, whose jaw had dropped open. “Your brother can’t say his congratulations right now because he’s just had a stroke.”
She laughed. “Bachelorette party as soon as you get back. The wedding is a week after that.”
