by Fox, Cathryn
Worry takes up residency in my gut as he dives back under and does a few more laps. I leave him be. He obviously needs space to think right now. He eventually comes up in front of me again, and wipes the water from his eyes.
“She wants us to be a family,” he says.
My heart falls into my stomach, and I take his hand and guide him to the steps.
“What did you tell her?”
“I don’t know what to tell her, Quinn. I get that Daisy needs her mother, but I don’t love her.” His dark eyes meet mine, glisten in the pool lights. He opens his mouth like he wants to say something, then closes it again.
“I overheard what your mother and father said to you today. I didn’t mean to, but I was headed down the stairs and couldn’t help but hear.”
His hand goes to my thigh and he splays his fingers. “They want me to do the right thing.”
I take his hand in mine, give it a small squeeze. “But is being with Shari the right thing?”
“They seem to think so.”
“What do you think?”
“I don’t know.”
“If you find a good nanny, one who can care for Daisy, you guys could co-parent. Share custody.”
He stiffens and takes his hand from mine.
What the hell? Was it something I said?
“She said it’s either the two of them, or neither of them.”
Enraged, I blurt out, “She can’t do that. You’re Daisy’s father, you have every right to see your child. I’m sure your father will take this to court.”
“I’m sure he’ll tell me I need to do the right thing. He’s old school, Quinn. They had me late in life and look at things differently than we do.”
I shake my head, astounded at this turn of events. “If it’s the two of them or neither, why did she just drop Daisy off with you?”
A noise crawls out of his throat. “She wanted us to bond.”
I briefly close my eyes and try to look at this situation from all angles. One thought jumps out at me. “Why now, Jonah? Why four months later?”
“Think about it,” he says, and frowns.
Something niggles at the back of my mind, and I reach for it. “Wait, do you think this is about money? You just had a successful season, and renewed your contract for some serious coin.”
He makes a noise, half laugh, half snort. “That’s right. It’s always about the money, Quinn. Do you think any of these women are with us for anything other than our fame and fortune? No one sees us for who we are. They never want to know the person beneath the jersey. It’s just the way it is.”
I put my hand on his back and lean into him. “I had no idea, Jonah.” I mull that over for a minute. “Is that why you’re so anti-marriage?”
He turns to me, his eyes dark and tortured. A long pause as his eyes search my face, then he says, “I wouldn’t say I was anti-marriage, it was just something I never thought about, something that was a long way off. I guess that could change, it I was with the right woman.”
Oh, God, Quinn. Tell him how you feel.
Take a chance? But what if I make a fool of myself? What if I’m imagining there could be more between us? Imagining I’m the right woman? I open my mouth, but no words come. Where the hell is Ninja Chihuahua when I really need her?
“It’s not my business, Jonah, I get that, but if you marry her, I think you’re going to grow to regret it.” I fold my arms around my body and hug myself. “I know this from experience,” I say softly
His eyes narrow, and he looks at me, searches my face for answers. “What do you mean?”
I exhale a long breath. “Mom never wanted a family. It was Dad. He wanted kids. Mom wanted a career. She ended up having two kids, but in the end, even though she loved us, her first love wasn’t us, so she left.” Tears prick my eyes and I pinch them tight. “Growing up without a mother was hard. I’m not going to lie. Dad sort of shrank into himself. I don’t know what I would have done it I didn’t have Zander.”
He puts his arm around me, drags me to his body. Water ripples around us, and I grow chilly, not just from the air but from my memories.
“I’m sorry, Quinn.”
“I’m just worried about Daisy,” I say. “Your first love is hockey, Jonah. I know you care for that little girl, but what happens in the end? Will you grow to resent Shari and Daisy, and leave?”
“I’m not your mother,” he says, his voice taking on a hard edge.
“I never said you were, but the circumstances…I don’t want to see Daisy…” I let my words fall off as a fine shiver goes through me.
“Is that why you don’t want a family or kids?” he asks, as things grow personal between us.
I take a long moment, then say, “My parents failed so badly at marriage, and it wasn’t easy being abandoned. I just…don’t want to set myself up for that.”
Jonah opens his mouth like he wants to say something, closes it again, and stands. “You’re cold. Let’s get inside.”
He grabs our towels, and wraps one around me and the other around himself. Then he gathers our clothes, as well as the baby monitor, and we both go inside. Where we go from here, I’m not certain. Will he even want me in his house tonight if he’s contemplating marriage to another woman? Do I even want to be in his house if he’s contemplating marriage to another woman?
“Glass of wine?” he asks, his voice less harsh as I take in his bare upper body.
I nod, and he grabs a chilled bottle of white from the fridge and two glasses. He pours and we both take a much needed sip. Little cries come from the baby monitor, and we set our glasses down.
“Go relax and have your wine, Quinn. I’ll check on Daisy, then I’ll join you.” He lets his towel fall and climbs back into his clothes. I don’t bother dressing. Instead, I make my way into the living room and flick on the television, giving Jonah alone time with his daughter. It seems to be what he needs right now.
I hear Jonah’s voice through the baby monitor as he changes Daisy’s diaper and cuddles her. I sip my wine and flick through the stations, my heart so invested in this family, I’m sure to fall to pieces once I have to leave them. I settle on a rerun and things go quiet upstairs. I glance at the clock. It’s not late, but I have a feeling Jonah fell asleep rocking his little girl.
Deciding I might as well get a good night’s sleep too, I turn the television off and stand. I stretch out my limbs, but when a hard knock sounds on the door, I nearly jump out of my skin.
I hurry across the room and look through the peephole. There is a girl on the stoop, but I don’t recognize her. She sways a little, and runs her hands over her long dark hair, like she’s trying to make herself presentable. I wait, debate on what to do, but then she knocks again. Harder this time.
“Jonah, open up,” she says, and then hiccups.
OMG, is she drunk?
I push back from the door and turn when I hear footsteps coming my way. “Jonah,” I say, as he rubs his eyes.
“What’s going on?” he asks.
“There’s a girl on the steps. I think she’s drunk.”
“Shit.” He looks through the peephole, then swings the door open wide. The girl gives him a seductive smile—but then her eyes go wide when they see me…in nothing but my towel.
“What the hell are you doing here?” she spits out, and leans her hand on the side of the house to keep her balance.
“I…uh…” I say and step back.
“What do you want, Shari?”
Holy hell, this is Shari.
“I want my daughter,” she says, and tries to push past Jonah, but he won’t allow it. He grips her shoulders and holds her in place.
“Let go of me! I’m getting my daughter and taking her home.”
“You’re not going anywhere with her.”
Her eyes are venomous when they connect with mine. “I’ll phone the police.”
“Go ahead. You’ve been drinking, and now you’re behind the wheel. If you want to end up in the drunk
tank tonight, make the call. Let’s see how fast you get your daughter back after that.”
She changes tactics, and sags against Jonah, running her fingers along his chest. “What we talked about earlier, Jonah. You said you were going to think about it. You can’t blame me for being mad when I find you here with another girl.”
“Quinn is Zander’s sister. She’s been helping me with Daisy until I could find a nanny. You should be thanking her.”
Quinn is Zander’s sister.
Those words shouldn’t sting quite as much as they do. We did, after all, agree to keep what’s going on behind closed doors a secret. And the truth is, I am Zander’s sister, and maybe I should remember that’s all I am to Jonah.
“Oh, I didn’t realize.” Instead of thanking me, she says, “I can’t drive home. Do you think I could spend the night here?”
“Jonah, I should go,” I say quickly, and his gaze flashes to mine, worry blazing in his eyes.
“No, I’m taking Shari home.” His eyes search mine, like he’s trying to see if I’m okay. “Would you mind watching Daisy? She can’t drive like this. It’s lucky she made it here without killing someone.”
“No problem,” I say, and back up until I’m on the first step.
Jonah leans Shari against a wall and heads to the kitchen to grabs his keys, leaving me alone in the front entrance with Shari.
“Why are you in a towel?” she asks. She points a finger at me. “You trying to take my man away from me?”
“I was swimming,” I say, and tighten the towel around my body.
She steps toward me, wobbles a little. “You keep your hands to yourself. He’s mine. I didn’t go through all the trouble of having a kid for nothing.”
My heart crashes against my chest and my brain spins in my head. She trapped Jonah! Oh, my God, she trapped Jonah by having a kid.
Jonah stalks back into the room, the muscles along his jaw rippling as he clenches his teeth together. His eyes meet mine and soften. “Thanks,” he says, and I make a move to reach for him, tell him what’s going on, stop this from happening. But as I do, Shari falls into him, wrapping her arms around his body in a show of possession.
“Bye, Queenie,” she says, and I’m about to tell her off, but Jonah speaks first. Probably a good thing. I don’t want to get in the middle of a fight or do anything that could mess up the relationship between him and his daughter.
“Here name is Quinn,” Jonah says, his voice rough, angry.
“Isn’t that a guy’s name?” She looks me over again, and I resist the urge to throat punch her. “Then again, I guess she could pass as one,” she says, and laughs.
Jonah goes ramrod straight, holds her by the shoulders and pulls her off his body. “Being drunk is no excuse for being rude. You have no idea what she’s been doing for our daughter.”
“What’s she been doing for you, Jonah?” she flings back at him
“That’s none of your business.”
She reaches out, cups his cock, and says, “As long as she knows this is mine.”
Jonah removes her hand, tosses me an apologetic look, and practically drags her out the door.
“You think about what I said, Queenie. Or I’ll lawyer up, and Jonah will never get to see his daughter again!”
I stand there, legs too numb to move, as Jonah locks the door behind himself. It’s only when I hear her car start up that I’m able to breathe again.
I lower myself onto the step and think about calling my best friend. But Jonah’s business is his, and it wouldn’t be right of me to tell secrets. I pick myself up and fight back the tears. I turn, deciding to go to bed, when my cell rings.
I rush to it, and my heart races when I see it’s from Zander.
“Hey,” I say.
“You okay?” he asks, and I hear the concern in his voice.
“Not really.”
“Jonan called me. I’m going to pick him up at Shari’s and bring him home. He asked me to check in on you. He said Shari was pretty nasty. I know you can handle yourself but still.”
Tears threaten, and I wipe them away. Not because of anything Shari said, but because of Daisy, Jonah. They’re both in a terrible position. “I’m okay.”
“Hey, it’s me,” he says, his voice softening. “I know you’re not.”
“Zander, she basically said she trapped him.”
He blows out a breath, then says, “I figured it was something like that. Jonah’s always careful.”
“He doesn’t deserve any of this,” I say, my voice a little choked. “He’s one of the good guys, Zander.”
He gives a small laugh, because he probably never thought he’d hear those words from me. “Yeah, I know. I’ve always known.”
“What is she after?”
“Fame and fortune,” he says.
This time the tears do fall. My emotions are on a goddamn roller coaster ride. “I feel so sorry for Daisy, she’s the one who’s going to get hurt in all this.”
“So are you and Jonah. I know how much you’ve fallen for that little girl. Hang on, I’m just getting into the car. Going to put you on speaker.”
I wipe my eyes, my heart going out to the innocent child asleep upstairs. To the man who has no idea which way to turn.
“Okay, you there?”
“I’m here,” I say.
“Jonah’s dad is a lawyer. He’ll get this figured out.”
“Maybe so, but there will be damage.”
“You sound tired. Why don’t you get to sleep. I’ll have Jonah back to you soon.”
The phone tightens in my hands. God, the way he just said that makes it sound like Jonah is mine. He’s not.
Oh, but you want him to be.
“Okay, thanks, Zander. Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
With that, I hang up, and my tears fall as I walk upstairs and find Daisy sleeping soundly. I touch her hair, brush my hand lightly over it.
“I have no idea what’s going to happen, little one, but I promise you, I’ll do anything to help protect you. Anything at all.”
She makes a small sound, and I could have sworn she understood what I was saying and was thanking me for it.
13
Jonah
“Thanks for the lift,” I say to Zander as I climb from his car. The cooler night air falls around me and I stretch out, my mind running a million miles an hour after coffee with Shari. Although coffee didn’t happen. She texted me, said to meet her at her favorite club, and eventually conversation turned into her hands all over me.
“Talk to your dad. See what he has to say,” Zander says before I shut the door.
“I will.” I close the door quietly, not wanting to wake anyone in the neighborhood, and stand back to glance at my house.
The lights are off, all except the front porch. A warm glow falls over the steps and walkway, guiding me to my front door, and that brings a smile to my face. Quinn left the light on for me. It shouldn’t surprise me. She’s the most giving, caring woman I know, and I should have kicked Shari for being so fucking rude to her. I push down the anger and pull my keys from my pocket. Zander takes off as I make my way inside.
The house is quiet. Just like old times. I laugh at that. Here I used to cherish my bachelorhood, and never gave much thought to settling down. But I suddenly don’t like the stillness of the house. I make my way upstairs, walking quietly so I don’t wake my girls. My bedroom door is open slightly, and I step inside.
I check on Daisy first, press my hand to her forehead. She’s much cooler than she was earlier. Maybe Quinn was right and she’s teething.
I glance at my bed, and sensations well up inside me, curl around my heart, when I find Quinn there, fast asleep. If I had to put a name to what I’m feeling, I’d have to call it want, need…love.
Love?
Is it possible that I’m falling in love with my best friend’s kid sister? Not a smart move on my part, that’s for fucking sure.
I make quick work of
my clothes and slide into the bed. Quinn stirs beside me, and I shimmy closer until I’m spooning her. Her body is warm from sleep, and her fresh scent swirls around me. I put one hand on her hip and hold her to me.
As I lay there, my mind and body tired after dealing with Shari, my thoughts drift. Zander is right. I do need to call my father. I’m sure, after the stunt Shari just pulled, and her threatening to lawyer up to keep Daisy away from me if I don’t follow her demands, he’ll change his tune on what’s right and what isn’t.
My mind races back to the gut-wrenching story Quinn told me about her mother. It must have been hard for her to open up to me like that. But I get she was trying to make a point, save Daisy from a hard future. The thing is, I’m not Quinn’s mother, but how can I take care of a child if I’m on the road all the time? Everyone keeps telling me hockey is the most important thing in the world to me. Would I grow to regret the responsibility? Am I that fucking shallow?
My thoughts fall off and the next thing I know, I’m in bed alone. I sit up, rub the blur from my eyes and check Daisy’s crib. She’s not in it. I kick off the covers and tug on a pair of jeans. From downstairs, I hear a kid’s movie with lots of music playing in the background. After a quick trip to the bathroom, I make my way down, find Daisy in Quinn’s arms as they dance around the living room.
Right then and there, my heart swells in my chest, and it’s almost difficult to breathe. I grab the banister, squeeze my hand around it. Fuck. Shit. And Damn.
This…this is the family I want.
Quinn squeals and lets out an embarrassed laugh when she turns and finds me standing there.
“Good morning,” I say.
“I really am getting you a bell.” Pink spreads across her cheeks as Daisy giggles up at her. “Did we wake you?”
I shake my head. “Did Daisy just laugh.”
A smile lights up Quinn’s face. “She did. They usually start laughing around four months. I thought she would have done it long before now, actually.”
“Shit.”
“What?”
“I don’t even know when her birthday is. She could be five months now and I wouldn’t even know it.”
