by C. Morgan
I stepped into my shower and let the water run over me. I kept my eyes closed while I showered, only opening them long enough to add soap to my loofah. I hated looking at my body. It was easier to just pretend the full hips and slightly pudgy belly weren’t really there.
When I stepped out of the shower, I immediately wrapped one of the bath sheets around my body before grabbing another towel to dry my hair. That was the way of it. I was always hiding my body, even from myself.
I stepped in front of the mirror and used my hand to wipe off the mirror. “Oh, Alora,” I breathed.
I stared at my reflection. I touched my cheek that was a little fuller than I remembered. I turned left and right, relieved I didn’t have a double chin just yet. “When did this happen?” I asked myself.
I used to be this fun, pretty, spoiled girl. I used to love shopping and wearing clothes that showed off my figure. I used to buy expensive makeup and get my hair done every two weeks. I couldn’t remember the last time I had highlights put in. I grabbed a chunk of my hair that was darker than it had been in a long time. I never bothered with makeup anymore.
“You’re a damn potato, Alora.”
I couldn’t pinpoint the moment it went to hell. I’d been happy. I’d been pretty and thin and had a boyfriend. I was going to marry the man I had given up everything for. We were going to have a happy life and live happily ever after. We were going to have two cute little kids. I was going to be a stay-at-home mom. I would do yoga while the kids were with the nanny. I would have lunch dates with my friends and, of course, we would all order salads. We would plan playdates and talk about the three pounds we gained.
That fantasy life never happened. Todd fucked me over and broke my heart. Broke wasn’t the right word. He shattered my heart. My entire world imploded. One day, things were great. The next, he was sleeping with another woman. I was so stupid, I would have stayed with him even after he confessed to the number of affairs he had. I wanted him. I wanted the life I’d dreamed of.
I didn’t get the choice to forgive him and take him back. He dropped me on my ass and never looked back. He left me a broken woman and I didn’t know how to put myself back together again. I wasn’t sure I wanted to put myself back together. I wanted to go to bed and wake up in five years when the heartache would be in my past. I didn’t want to go through it. I was a coward. I wasn’t one of those people that could see heartbreak or a painful time in my life as a chance to prove how strong I was.
“Potato. I’m a potato and have no strength. I don’t want to be strong. I want to be a soft, pudgy potato.”
I dressed in my usual baggy sweats and a T-shirt. I didn’t bother putting on a bra. I didn’t plan on seeing anyone. These days, I rarely wore a bra. Hell, I barely wore shoes or anything beyond sweats. I lay on my bed, determined to take a nap until it was time for dinner.
My nap was interrupted by my phone ringing. No one called me. No one texted me. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. There was one person. I reached out and grabbed my phone off the end table. “I’m mad at you,” I answered.
“I’m sorry,” Sue said.
“You were supposed to go to the gym with me. I walked around by myself looking like a total jackass.”
“So, two jackasses walking around is better than one?”
“Yes, because you would have looked more like a jackass than me.”
She laughed. “I knew there was a reason we were best friends. Who else would insult me the way you do?”
“Where were you?”
“I had to cover a class.”
I rolled my eyes. “You did not.”
“I did. I had to cover for someone.”
“Sue, this is our New Year’s resolution. We’re supposed to be busting our ass and losing weight. We’ve only actually made it to the gym like five times.”
She groaned. “I hate the gym.”
“Me too.”
“Why are we dieting and going to the gym?” she asked.
“Because we don’t want to be pulled back into the water when we are sunbathing this summer. Some eager do-gooder is going to see two beached whales and we are going to get pushed into the water.”
Her laughter echoed through the phone. “FYI, there are no ocean beaches in Phoenix.”
“We’d be the lucky ones to get the only dipshit in the world that thinks the lake is the ocean.”
“How was the gym?”
“Awful. Did you think it was going to be a party?”
“You’re cranky.”
“I am lucky I’m still alive. I sat on a machine and I almost died.”
“You did not.”
“I did. I almost strangled myself trying to pull some stupid rope thing down. It was awful. I loathe the gym.”
“Good. We’re supposed to hate it. I’ll go tomorrow, I promise.”
“If you aren’t there, I’m going to throw a dumbbell at you.”
“Hey, that’s going to be considered a workout. Wear your Fitbit. I bet you’ll burn like ten calories throwing it at me.”
“You better be there!”
“I will,” she said with a laugh. “Now, I have to go. I’ve got a parent meeting in five minutes. Someone’s little darling cursed at me.”
“You are far more patient than I am. Teaching is a thankless job.”
“Don’t I know it. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“You better be there or I’m going to key your car.”
“I thought you were going to throw a dumbbell at me?”
“I’m going to throw it through your window after I key it.”
I was left with the sound of her laughter. I rolled to my stomach, and even though I told myself I wasn’t going to be on social media anymore, I hit the Instagram app. I scrolled through my feed and froze when I came across a picture on my old friend’s timeline. Old as in from my previous life. I zoomed up on the screen.
“No!”
I stared at the picture of my fiancé with his arm around another woman. Correction, former fiancé. Todd was standing with a woman that looked about as big as my left leg. She was skinny, blonde, and cute as hell. She was nothing like me. She was a gorgeous woman.
They were smiling, holding glasses of what looked like champagne in their hands. They were at a party. I studied the background and realized it was an engagement party for the friend that posted the picture.
They were all moving on with their lives. They were all happy and it was like I never existed. I tossed my phone onto the bed in frustration. It bounced and smacked me in the face.
“Ow, dammit,” I moaned and covered my nose.
I rolled my eyes and flopped onto my back. I was seriously the sorriest person on the planet. I felt like such a loser. I was glad no one was around to see me so pitiful. I got out of bed and promptly tripped over the stupid tennis shoes I’d worn to the gym.
“Fuck me!” I growled and bent down and picked up one of the shoes. I tossed it at my bedroom door. It felt so good, I grabbed the other one and threw it, but as fate would have it, I missed the door and hit the lamp sitting on my desk. The lamp clattered to the floor and shattered.
I stared at the broken glass of the Tiffany lamp my mother probably paid a fortune for. “Well, son of a bitch.”
The story of my life. Always getting kicked when I was down, even if I was the one doing the kicking.
Chapter 3
Jeff
I looked around the one-bedroom condo I just signed a lease on. I was back in Buckeye. I couldn’t believe it. I never imagined I would be back here. I never wanted to be back here. I had a good life in Dallas. I was successful and relatively happy, but I wasn’t really fulfilled. I didn’t have a girlfriend. I had a handful of friends, and my parents were there, but I felt like I had to do this for me.
Alora had always been the one that got away. I’d never had her to lose her, but damn, I wanted her. I remembered dreaming about her from about the fifth grade on. She was my first crush. She put me smack in the
friendzone and I never managed to get out of that little box.
She was the reason I was back. I told no one about her. I did not want to be that poor sap. What kind of dumbass upended his life to move back to a city for one woman? A woman who didn’t even know I existed. She was going to know. I was going to remind her of the boy she’d crushed with just a few words.
I sat down on the couch that had been delivered late last night and put on my running shoes. My condo was within a few blocks of the gym. It was satisfying to know I was living on the good side of town. I was coming back a lot different than when I left.
My phone rang. I didn’t have to look at the screen to know who it was. “Hello, Mom.”
“You answered.”
“Yes, I did.”
“Don’t get smart.”
“What’s up, Mom?”
“I was just checking to see if you really wanted to do this.”
“Mom, I’m here. I signed a lease. I really want to do this.”
She let out a long, exaggerated sigh. “Fine. Is today your first day at work?”
“Yep. I was just getting ready to head out.”
“Is that your way of telling me you have to go?”
I got to my feet. I grabbed my wallet and shoved it in my pocket before connecting my ear buds. “Mom, remember before when I explained to you the perks of a cell phone?”
“What do you mean?”
“A cell phone goes with me. It’s like a cordless phone but it can go really far.”
“Jefferson Lakewood!”
I burst into laughter. “Love you, Mom.”
“Check in with me. I’ll worry.”
“I will,” I said as I walked out the door.
I ended the call and jogged downstairs. I took a moment to do a few stretches before setting off at an easy clip. I wasn’t planning to run to work every day, but it was a perfect day out. It was chilly by Arizona standards, but I liked the refreshing feel of the cool air when I was running. Running to work meant I was going to be warmed up and ready to hit the gym, should I need to. I had a feeling today would be a slow day for me. I didn’t have any clients, which meant I would be free to roam around the gym.
I walked in, nodding at the receptionist before making my way to Fran’s office.
“Good morning,” she greeted. “You’ve already worked up a sweat.”
“I ran to work. I wasn’t sure I would have a chance to work out today. Figured I’d get in some cardio when I could.”
She was smiling. “That’s what I like to hear. Practice what you preach. I have some paperwork I need you to fill out. You will have the office with the number three on it. I’ve got your keycard here and you’ll need to get your name badge done.”
I nodded as she spoke. I sat down and filled out the basic forms before taking my keycard and following her down the admin hall. “I get an office, huh?” I said with surprise.
“Yes. You’ll be expected to answer calls from clients when needed. This is where you will do your billing for your clients and come up with their plans and what not.”
I stepped inside the small office. It wasn’t fancy but it was more than I had at my other job. “Thank you. This is nice.”
“I’ve cleared it with the owners that all trainers get free access to the juice bar. As we get going, I plan on expanding our juice bar to include a variety of healthy snacks and light meals. We might be able to work out a deal for that as well.”
“A café?” I asked.
“Of sorts. I want it to be our branding. The Zone takeaway lunch or something like that. We’d have our on-staff nutritionist create some meal plans.”
“There is a nutritionist on staff?”
“Absolutely. Depending on what your experience is, we’ll need you to coordinate with the nutritionist.”
“How so?”
“I’m sure you have a diet that works for you and you know the basics, but we want our clients to feel like they are getting the total package. Their trainer will work with the nutritionist to come up with a diet that fits with their goal.”
I didn’t particularly like the idea of someone stepping on my toes, but I could work together with a nutritionist. Assuming it wasn’t a wackadoodle who told my client to eat nothing but bacon. “Sounds good,” I said. “Now what?”
“I’ll take you over to member services and we’ll get your pretty little picture taken for your ID badge. Then you are free to work the floor. Drum up some business for yourself. Give out free tips and reel those people in.”
I knew the game. “Got it.”
I followed her back toward member services and got my ID badge. “You’re all set. I need to make some calls. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.”
I walked away, feeling a little anxious about my first day. The first thing I did was go upstairs and wander around the catwalk that opened up to the gym below. There were various rooms with floor-to-ceiling windows on this level. I could see a yoga class in one and what appeared to be a low-impact aerobics class for seniors.
The other rooms were dark. The gym was just starting and was slowly picking up speed. I climbed up to the third floor. It was mostly dark. There were massage rooms on the top floor along with a sports-medicine doctor. That was new to me, but I could see the benefit.
I headed back downstairs, taking in the sight of the people working out below. “What’d you think?” I heard Fran say.
I spun around, a little embarrassed to have been busted on my little tour. “It’s nice. I can see why you are excited.”
“It is very nice. This is cutting edge. Our gym is going to be far more than just a gym. It’s a way of life. Once we get that café up and running, people will be able to spend their free time here. They’ll eat, work out, get a massage.”
I laughed. “You have big dreams.”
“The pool opens this week,” she gushed. “That’s a big dream.”
“You didn’t show me that.”
“Because it was still getting the final touches. It’s through here. We’ll have signage up tomorrow.”
I followed her down a wide corridor with lots of green plants. I could smell the chlorine and knew we were close. She pushed open a set of double doors and there it was.
“Wow,” I said with genuine awe. “It’s huge.”
“It isn’t quite Olympic-sized but it’s certainly large enough that we will soon be able to offer private swim coaches another place to practice.”
“Is this your idea?” I asked her. “You seem to be looking toward a very big, bright future.”
“This is the owners and me both throwing ideas at the wall and seeing what sticks. A lot is sticking. The sky is the limit.”
“It’s grand, I’ll give you that. I can’t wait to utilize this pool.”
“We’ve got three hot tubs as well. After a long day of training, a good soak is just what you’ll need.”
“It’s great, really,” I said, a little overwhelmed by the sheer size of the place. “I’m going to get out there on the floor and see what I can bring to the table.”
“Good luck. I’m hoping you’ll get at least five clients signed this week.”
My eyes widened. “That’s ambitious.”
She winked. “I’m an ambitious person.”
I headed out to the gym area. I was hoping to see Alora. I wasn’t sure how often she came to the gym, but I wanted to see her, look her in the eyes, and, if I was being honest, flaunt my bod. Back in the days of junior high, I was a chunk. Chunky Monkey, that was what my mom called me. I knew Alora looked at me and saw my blubber.
I’d crushed on her forever, and when I finally got the nerve to tell her how I felt, she crushed my soul. I remembered the conversation like it was yesterday.
“Jeff, you’re fun to be around, and I love talking to you, but we’re just friends,” she had said.
I remembered feeling like my heart had been ripped out and she stomped all over it. The same day I told her I wanted to go out
with her, I overheard her talking to her friends about Todd Parcell. Todd was a jock. He was only in the eighth grade, but the varsity football coach was already eying him to be the starting quarterback. He was in good shape and had long hair that all the girls loved. My parents would have never allowed me to grow my hair out like that.
I watched her fawn all over him. I tried to ask out a few other girls, but they all looked at me like I was crazy. I was the fat kid, complete with zits and greasy hair. Junior high had been a very unkind place. I rarely thought about those days. It was too painful.
“That was then, and this is now,” I murmured to myself as I passed one of the huge mirrors in the gym.
I spent a few hours talking with members and offering advice while handing out the business cards Fran had printed for me. I was beginning to think Alora wasn’t coming in when out of the corner of my eye, I spotted her.
She was staring at an elliptical machine like it was a spaceship. I watched as she climbed on and wiggled her ass like that was how it worked. I walked toward her, moving to stand beside her. “Can I give you a demonstration?”
She looked over at me. Her cheeks were red. “Please. I’m sure it is super easy, but I just can’t make it go.”
She stepped off. I climbed on and pushed the touch screen. I began to move, taking it slow and explaining the machine to her and how she could increase her workout.
“Why don’t you give it a try?” I said and stepped off.
She looked me dead in the eye and there was absolutely no recognition. “Thanks,” she muttered and climbed on.
“I’m a personal trainer here at the gym. I’d love to give you a free hour session. I can help you set goals and show you some workouts that will get you to those goals. Are you interested?”
She barely looked at me. “No thanks. I’m not all that serious. I’m just here to, uh, I don’t know. I don’t want a trainer.”
I wasn’t going to take it personally. “I’ll be around if you do have any questions.”
