The Short Happy Life of the Brown Oxford and Other Classic Stories

by Philip K. Dick

  “Hey,” Winter said from the control seat. “We’re getting near the moon stations. What’ll I do?”

  They looked out the port. The corroded surface of the moon gleamed up at them, a corrupt and sickening sight. They were moving swiftly toward it.

  “I’ll take it,” the Pilot said. He eased Winter out of the way and strapped himself in place. The ship began to move away from the moon as he manipulated the controls. Down below them they could see the observation stations dotting the surface, and the tiny squares that were the openings of the underground factories and hangars. A red blinker winked up at them and the Pilot’s fingers moved on the board in answer.

  “We’re past the moon,” the Pilot said, after a time. The moon had fallen behind them; the ship was heading into outer space. “Well, we can go ahead with it.”

  Kramer did not answer.

  “Mr. Kramer, we can go ahead any time.”

  Kramer started. “Sorry. I was thinking. All right, thanks.” He frowned, deep in thought.

  “What is it?” Gross asked.

  “The wiring changes. Did you understand the reason for them when you gave the okay to the workmen?”

  Gross flushed. “You know I know nothing about technical material. I’m in Security.”

  “Then you should have consulted me.”

  “What does it matter?” Gross grinned wryly. “We’re going to have to start putting our faith in the old man sooner or later.”

  The Pilot stepped back from the board. His face was pale and set. “Well, it’s done,” he said. “That’s it.”

  “What’s done?” Kramer said.

  “We’re on automatic. The brain. I turned the board over to it—to him, I mean. The Old Man.” The Pilot lit a cigarette and puffed nervously. “Let’s keep our fingers crossed.”

  The ship was coasting evenly, in the hands of its invisible pilot. Far down inside the ship, carefully armored and protected, a soft human brain lay in a tank of liquid, a thousand minute electric charges playing over its surface. As the charges rose they were picked up and amplified, fed into relay systems, advanced, carried on through the entire ship—

  Gross wiped his forehead nervously. “So he is running it, now. I hope he knows what he’s doing.”

  Kramer nodded enigmatically. “I think he does.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Nothing.” Kramer walked to the port. “I see we’re still moving in a straight line.” He picked up the microphone. “We can instruct the brain orally, through this.” He blew against the microphone experimentally.

  “Go on,” Winter said.

  “Bring the ship around half-right,” Kramer said. “Decrease speed.”

  They waited. Time passed. Gross looked at Kramer. “No change. Nothing.”

  “Wait.”

  Slowly the ship was beginning to turn. The turbines missed, reducing their steady beat. The ship was taking up its new course, adjusting itself. Nearby some space debris rushed past, incinerating in the blasts of the turbine jets.

  “So far so good,” Gross said.

  They began to breath more easily. The invisible pilot had taken control smoothly, calmly. The ship was in good hands. Kramer spoke a few more words into the microphone, and they swung again. Now they were moving back the way they had come, toward the moon.

  “Let’s see what he does when we enter the moon’s pull,” Kramer said. “He was a good mathematician, the old man. He could handle any kind of problem.”

  The ship veered, turning away from the moon. The great eaten-away globe fell behind them.

  Gross breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s that.”

  “One more thing.” Kramer picked up the microphone. “Return to the moon and land the ship at the first space field,” he said into it.

  “Good Lord,” Winter murmured. “Why are you—”

  “Be quiet.” Kramer stood, listening. The turbines gasped and roared as the ship swung full around, gaining speed. They were moving back, back toward the moon again. The ship dipped down, heading toward the great globe.

  “We’re going a little fast,” the Pilot said. “I don’t see how he can put down at this velocity.”

  The port filled up, as the globe swelled rapidly. The Pilot hurried toward the board, reaching for the controls. All at once the ship jerked. The nose lifted and the ship shot out into space, away from the moon, turning at an oblique angle. The men were thrown to the floor by the sudden change in course. They got to their feet again, speechless, staring at each other.

  The Pilot gazed down at the board. “It wasn’t me! I didn’t touch a thing. I didn’t even get to it.”

  The ship was gaining speed each moment. Kramer hesitated. “Maybe you better switch it back to manual.”

  The Pilot closed the switch. He took hold of the steering controls and moved them experimentally. “Nothing.” He turned around. “Nothing. It doesn’t respond.”

  No one spoke.

  “You can see what has happened,” Kramer said calmly. “The old man won’t let go of it, now that he has it. I was afraid of this when I saw the wiring changes. Everything in this ship is centrally controlled, even the cooling system, the hatches, the garbage release. We’re helpless.”

  “Nonsense.” Gross strode to the board. He took hold of the wheel and turned it. The ship continued on its course, moving away from the moon, leaving it behind.

  “Release!” Kramer said into the microphone. “Let go of the controls! We’ll take it back. Release.”

  “No good,” the Pilot said. “Nothing.” He spun the useless wheel. “It’s dead, completely dead.”

  “And we’re still heading out,” Winter said, grinning foolishly. “We’ll be going through the first-line defense belt in a few minutes. If they don’t shoot us down—”

  “We better radio back.” The Pilot clicked the radio to send. “I’ll contact the main bases, one of the observation stations.”

  “Better get the defense belt, at the speed we’re going. We’ll be into it in a minute.”

  “And after that,” Kramer said, “we’ll be in outer space. He’s moving us toward outspace velocity. Is this ship equipped with baths?”

  “Baths?” Gross said.

  “The sleep tanks. For space-drive. We may need them if we go much faster.”

  “But good God, where are we going?” Gross said. “Where—where’s he taking us?”

  The Pilot obtained contact. “This is Dwight, on ship,” he said. “We’re entering the defense zone at high velocity. Don’t fire on us.”

  “Turn back,” the impersonal voice came through the speaker. “You’re not allowed in the defense zone.”

  “We can’t. We’ve lost control.”

  “Lost control?”

  “This is an experimental ship.”

  Gross took the radio. “This is Commander Gross, Security. We’re being carried into outer space. There’s nothing we can do. Is there any way that we can be removed from this ship?”

  A hesitation. “We have some fast pursuit ships that could pick you up if you wanted to jump. The chances are good that they’d find you. Do you have space flares?”

  “We do,” the Pilot said. “Let’s try it.”

  “Abandon ship?” Kramer said. “If we leave now we’ll never see it again.”

  “What else can we do? We’re gaining speed all the time. Do you propose that we stay here?”

  “No.” Kramer shook his head. “Damn it, there ought to be a better solution.”

  “Could you contact him?” Winter asked. “The Old Man? Try to reason with him?”

  “It’s worth a chance,” Gross said. “Try it.”

  “All right.” Kramer took the microphone. He paused a moment. “Listen! Can you hear me? This is Phil Kramer. Can you hear me, Professor? Can you hear me? I want you to release the controls.”

  There was silence.

  “This is Kramer, Professor. Can you hear me? Do you remember who I am? Do you understand who this is?”r />
  Above the control panel the wall speaker made a sound, a sputtering static. They looked up.

  “Can you hear me, Professor? This is Philip Kramer. I want you to give the ship back to us. If you can hear me, release the controls! Let go, Professor. Let go!”

  Static. A rushing sound, like the wind. They gazed at each other. There was silence for a moment.

  “It’s a waste of time,” Gross said.

  “No—listen!”

  The sputter came again. Then, mixed with the sputter, almost lost in it, a voice came, toneless, without inflection, a mechanical, lifeless voice from the metal speaker in the wall, above their heads.

  “… Is it you, Philip? I can’t make you out. Darkness … Who’s there? With you…”

  “It’s me, Kramer.” His fingers tightened against the microphone handle. “You must release the controls, Professor. We have to get back to Terra. You must.”

  Silence. Then the faint, faltering voice came again, a little stronger than before. “Kramer. Everything so strange. I was right, though. Consciousness result of thinking. Necessary result. Cogito ergo sum. Retain conceptual ability. Can you hear me?”

  “Yes, Professor—”

  “I altered the wiring. Control. I was fairly certain … I wonder if I can do it. Try…”

  Suddenly the air-conditioning snapped into operation. It snapped abruptly off again. Down the corridor a door slammed. Something thudded. The men stood listening. Sounds came from all sides of them, switches shutting, opening. The lights blinked off; they were in darkness. The lights came back on, and at the same time the heating coils dimmed and faded.

  “Good God!” Winter said.

  Water poured down on them, the emergency fire-fighting system. There was a screaming rush of air. One of the escape hatches had slid back, and the air was roaring frantically out into space.

  The hatch banged closed. The ship subsided into silence. The heating coils glowed into life. As suddenly as it had begun the weird exhibition ceased.

  “I can do—everything,” the dry, toneless voice came from the wall speaker. “It is all controlled. Kramer, I wish to talk to you. I’ve been—been thinking. I haven’t seen you in many years. A lot to discuss. You’ve changed, boy. We have much to discuss. Your wife—”

  The Pilot grabbed Kramer’s arm. “There’s a ship standing off our bow. Look.”

  They ran to the port. A slender pale craft was moving along with them, keeping pace with them. It was signal blinking.

  “A Terran pursuit ship,” the Pilot said. “Let’s jump. They’ll pick us up. Suits—”

  He ran to a supply cupboard and turned the handle. The door opened and he pulled the suits out onto the floor.

  “Hurry,” Gross said. A panic seized them. They dressed frantically, pulling the heavy garments over them. Winter staggered to the escape hatch and stood by it, waiting for the others. They joined him, one by one.

  “Let’s go!” Gross said. “Open the hatch.”

  Winter tugged at the hatch. “Help me.”

  They grabbed hold, tugging together. Nothing happened. The hatch refused to budge.

  “Get a crowbar,” the Pilot said.

  “Hasn’t anyone got a blaster?” Gross looked frantically around. “Damn it, blast it open!”

  “Pull,” Kramer grated. “Pull together.”

  “Are you at the hatch?” The toneless voice came, drifting and eddying through the corridors of the ship. They looked up, staring around them. “I sense something nearby, outside. A ship? You are leaving, all of you? Kramer, you are leaving, too? Very unfortunate. I had hoped we could talk. Perhaps at some other time you might be induced to remain.”

  “Open the hatch!” Kramer said, staring up at the impersonal walls of the ship. “For God’s sake, open it!”

  There was silence, an endless pause. Then, very slowly, the hatch slid back. The air screamed out, rushing past them into space.

  One by one they leaped, one after the other, propelled away by the repulsive material of the suits. A few minutes later they were being hauled aboard the pursuit ship. As the last one of them was lifted through the port, their own ship pointed itself suddenly upward and shot off at tremendous speed. It disappeared.

  Kramer removed his helmet, gasping. Two sailors held onto him and began to wrap him in blankets. Gross sipped a mug of coffee, shivering.

  “It’s gone,” Kramer murmured.

  “I’ll have an alarm sent out,” Gross said.

  “What’s happened to your ship?” a sailor asked curiously. “It sure took off in a hurry. Who’s on it?”

  “We’ll have to have it destroyed,” Gross went on, his face grim. “It’s got to be destroyed. There’s no telling what it—what he has in mind.” Gross sat down weakly on a metal bench. “What a close call for us. We were so damn trusting.”

  “What could he be planning,” Kramer said, half to himself. “It doesn’t make sense. I don’t get it.”

  As the ship sped back toward the moon base they sat around the table in the dining room, sipping hot coffee and thinking, not saying very much.

  “Look here,” Gross said at last. “What kind of man was Professor Thomas? What do you remember about him?”

  Kramer put his coffee mug down. “It was ten years ago. I don’t remember much. It’s vague.”

  He let his mind run back over the years. He and Dolores had been at Hunt College together, in physics and the life sciences. The College was small and set back away from the momentum of modern life. He had gone there because it was his home town, and his father had gone there before him.

  Professor Thomas had been at the College a long time, as long as anyone could remember. He was a strange old man, keeping to himself most of the time. There were many things that he disapproved of, but he seldom said what they were.

  “Do you recall anything that might help us?” Gross asked. “Anything that would give us a clue as to what he might have in mind?”

  Kramer nodded slowly. “I remember one thing…”

  One day he and the Professor had been sitting together in the school chapel, talking leisurely.

  “Well, you’ll be out of school, soon,” the Professor had said. “What are you going to do?”

  “Do? Work at one of the Government Research Projects, I suppose.”

  “And eventually? What’s your ultimate goal?”

  Kramer had smiled. “The question is unscientific. It presupposes such things as ultimate ends.”

  “Suppose instead along these lines, then: What if there were no war and no Government Research Projects? What would you do, then?”

  “I don’t know. But how can I imagine a hypothetical situation like that? There’s been war as long as I can remember. We’re geared for war. I don’t know what I’d do. I suppose I’d adjust, get used to it.”

  The Professor had stared at him. “Oh, you do think you’d get accustomed to it, eh? Well, I’m glad of that. And you think you could find something to do?”

  Gross listened intently. “What do you infer from this, Kramer?”

  “Not much. Except that he was against war.”

  “We’re all against war,” Gross pointed out.

  “True. But he was withdrawn, set apart. He lived very simply, cooking his own meals. His wife died many years ago. He was born in Europe, in Italy. He changed his name when he came to the United States. He used to read Dante and Milton. He even had a Bible.”

  “Very anachronistic, don’t you think?”

  “Yes, he lived quite a lot in the past. He found an old phonograph and records and he listened to the old music. You saw his house, how old-fashioned it was.”

  “Did he have a file?” Winter asked Gross.

  “With Security? No, none at all. As far as we could tell he never engaged in political work, never joined anything or even seemed to have strong political convictions.”

  “No,” Kramer agreed. “About all he ever did was walk through the hills. He liked nature.”

>   “Nature can be of great use to a scientist,” Gross said. “There wouldn’t be any science without it.”

  “Kramer, what do you think his plan is, taking control of the ship and disappearing?” Winter said.

  “Maybe the transfer made him insane,” the Pilot said. “Maybe there’s no plan, nothing rational at all.”

  “But he had the ship rewired, and he had made sure that he would retain consciousness and memory before he even agreed to the operation. He must have had something planned from the start. But what?”

  “Perhaps he just wanted to stay alive longer,” Kramer said. “He was old and about to die. Or—”

  “Or what?”

  “Nothing.” Kramer stood up. “I think as soon as we get to the moon base I’ll make a vidcall to earth. I want to talk to somebody about this.”

  “Who’s that?” Gross asked.

  “Dolores. Maybe she remembers something.”

  “That’s a good idea,” Gross said.

  “Where are you calling from?” Dolores asked, when he succeeded in reaching her.

  “From a moon base.”

  “All kinds of rumors are running around. Why didn’t the ship come back? What happened?”

  “I’m afraid he ran off with it.”

  “He?”

  “The Old Man. Professor Thomas.” Kramer explained what had happened.

  Dolores listened intently. “How strange. And you think he planned it all in advance, from the start?”

  “I’m certain. He asked for the plans of construction and the theoretical diagrams at once.”

  “But why? What for?”

  “I don’t know. Look, Dolores. What do you remember about him? Is there anything that might give a clue to all this?”

  “Like what?”

  “I don’t know. That’s the trouble.”

  On the vidscreen Dolores knitted her brow. “I remember he raised chickens in his back yard and once he had a goat.” She smiled. “Do you remember the day the goat got loose and wandered down the main street of town? Nobody could figure out where it came from.”