by India Millar
“I don’t understand.”
“In the fullness of time, you will have your mizuage. Your danna will pay Auntie a huge amount of money for the ceremony, but it will not be enough to pay her back for what she paid for you and for all she has invested in you. So you will work in the Green Tea House as a geisha, singing and dancing for rich men and entrancing them with your wit. They will pay well for the privilege, but it will never be enough for Auntie to let you go.”
She paused and I saw that Gin and Nami were nodding in agreement. Clearly, I should understand all this. I did not. But I smiled and nodded as well, as if everything had been explained.
Tamayu had taught me well. Politeness was almost everything in my new world. The geisha smiled with me, so I thought that Tamayu was right.
As she always insisted she was.
Four
Time is a river.
It is fruitless to try and
Fight against the flow.
As soon as the rain slowed a little, my new friends said I must return to the Green Tea House. If Auntie found me with them, then there would be trouble for all of us.
“Can I come back?” I asked hopefully.
“Surely.” Nami smiled. “But only at a time when Auntie will not miss you. And remember, the Green Tea House may only open its doors in the evening, but here in the Hidden House, we also welcome patrons in the afternoon, so we will be busy then.”
“I’ll remember,” I promised. But Nami had not finished with her instructions.
“Have you noticed that Auntie is not always in the Green Tea House? That often her bedroom is not slept in?”
I had not thought about it, but now Nami mentioned it, I realized that sometimes Auntie was not there, and at those times Tamayu in particular did not venture out of her own room, although, oddly, I often heard a man’s voice coming from in there.
“When Auntie is not in the Green Tea House, then she is here,” Nami explained. “And if she is here, then the boys are here as well. It would not be good for either Auntie or the boys to find you here with us.”
“Ah!” I said with satisfaction. Now that, I understood. Given Tamayu and Bigger’s disdainful comments about the Hidden House, I decided that it must attract a lower class of client than the Green Tea House.
That explained a great deal. It did not seem to me that the boys had a lot to occupy them in the Green Tea House. Our patrons were mainly older, very dignified men, who seemed to want to do little other than sit around and chat amongst themselves as they were entertained by the geisha. Perhaps that was why the Hidden House was different, I thought. Perhaps the patrons there were less cultured than ours and more in need of the boys to keep an eye on them. Probably that was why Auntie would not like me to be here, young and silly as I knew myself to be.
I slid back into the Green Tea House unnoticed. All the bedroom screens were pulled firmly closed. As if a flimsy screen could shield anybody from Auntie’s anger! Ren was napping, curled up on her sleeping mat and snoring gently. But not for long.
I shook her awake as soon as I heard the clatter of wooden geta on the hall floor. We peeped out of our room timidly and then hurried into the main room at Auntie’s shout.
The boys had found Aki.
She drooped in their grip. She looked very small, shrunken somehow, and I felt a flash of intense pity for her. Each one of us had felt the sharp sting of Auntie’s tongue when she was annoyed with us. That and the even sharper smack of her cane on the back of our legs when we had been particularly stupid. Aki, I thought, was probably in line for not just a telling off but, a beating as well.
Auntie stared at Aki. She stared for so long that all of us—except Aki, who simply stared at the floor—began to fidget.
“Where was she?” Auntie didn’t even sound angry, and I sighed with relief. Perhaps Aki was going to escape punishment after all. I had always thought she was Auntie’s favorite out of the three of us. Now I was sure of it.
“In the merchant’s quarter, Auntie,” Bigger grinned. “She was trying to hide in Jun-san’s storeroom.”
“And what were you hoping to find there, Aki?” Auntie said.
“His son loves me.” Aki raised her head and stared defiantly at Auntie. “He’s going to marry me. He promised.”
Auntie’s face changed. It was as if a sudden thundercloud had passed over the tranquil face of the moon. I felt, rather than heard, Ren moan softly.
“Really? You are even more stupid than I thought you were, child. And how did you make the acquaintance of this merchant’s son? I know his father has never been here.” She flared her nostrils in obvious contempt. “I would never let a man of his class into my tea house.”
“We spoke to the young man.” Bigger’s tone was expressionless. “And we also spoke to his father. At first, Jun-san was inclined to be amused by his son’s adventures. But when we explained to him that Aki had come from this tea house, he immediately realized what grave error his son had fallen into. He apologized on his knees.”
“Is she still whole?” Auntie snapped.
Bigger shrugged. “I don’t know. We spoke at some length with the son, and he swore that he had done no more than put his arm around her. It was all a mistake, he said. He had met her when she came to his father’s shop on an errand, and she had taken a fancy to him. It was all her fault, he said. Every time she left the tea house to buy something from the shops, she hung about until she saw him. She lured him, he said. He had never promised to marry her, not at all.”
“Did you punish him anyway?”
“No.” Auntie raised her eyebrows and Bigger spoke quickly. “There was no need for us to spend time on him. He was terrified half out of whatever wits he possessed anyway, and Jun-san assured us that he would make sure that his stupid son would be suitably chastised. Now that, I do believe.”
Aki whimpered, and I saw that fat tears were running down her face.
“Well, child? Is this tale of the boys the truth?” Auntie said.
“No! He loves me. He said he did. He wants to marry me.”
Auntie closed her eyes as if she was in pain. “I don’t care what the stupid puppy promised you,” she snapped. “You’ve been here long enough to know that you can trust not a word that any man says to you. Ever. For that alone, you deserve to be punished. But you have also brought dishonor on yourself and on my house. That I will not tolerate. Take her to Kaede’s house. Let Kaede examine her to make sure she’s still intact. I can’t be bothered to waste my time on her. Whether she’s whole or she isn’t, get whatever price for her you can.”
Aki fell to her knees. She banged her head so hard on the tatami that I thought her skull must have cracked. I was going to run forward and try to lift her up when Ren grabbed my arm and held on tightly. I turned to protest, but Ren simply shook her head and mouthed no. The look of stark terror on her face stopped me more surely than her grip on my arm.
“Auntie, no!” Aki raised her head and I gasped. I hardly recognized her, her face was so contorted with fear. “Please, let me stay here. I don’t care if I stay as a maiko forever. But please, let me stay.”
Auntie stared at her and then got to her feet. I thought perhaps she was going to hit Aki with her cane, but instead she simply leaned on it and clacked briskly toward the door. Big and Bigger hoisted Aki from the floor with their hands under her arms and walked with her as if she weighed nothing. It seemed to me that all the fight had gone out of Aki. She hung in their grip as if she was a dead thing.
Auntie paused at the screen door and turned. For a moment, I thought she had changed her mind and I was pleased for Aki. But I was wrong.
“Tamayu. I almost forgot.” She smiled, but there was no humor in it. I glanced at Tamayu. Her face was a blank, beautiful mask. It did not change as Auntie went on. “I think that Junko has learned all she needs to know from you. As from this moment, you are no longer her elder sister. You may keep Ren. Her mizuage is arranged. But Junko will go to Saki. She will be her
elder sister from this moment on.”
I risked a swift glance at Tamayu. I expected that she would be as delighted as I was by Auntie’s words. Tamayu had never liked me, I knew. And for my part, every moment I had spent in her company had been misery. Surely, if she had found fault with everything I did, she would be only too pleased to get rid of me!
But I was wrong. As it was afternoon, and we were expecting no patrons, Tamayu’s face was naked of makeup. I watched as a bright, red spot flamed over each of her cheekbones. Her mouth tightened to a thin, hard line. Suddenly, she was ugly.
“As you wish, Auntie. Is she to sleep with Ren still?”
Auntie pursed her lips in thought. Oddly, I knew instinctively that she had no need to think, but was just stretching the moment to make Tamayu uncomfortable. I was torn between confusion and delight. I had no idea what Tamayu had done to make Auntie so angry with her, but at the same time I felt nothing but relief that she was no longer my elder sister.
“No. Ren can move in with you, until her mizuage is over. Then she will have a room of her own, of course.”
I thought Tamayu was going to argue. Her eyes opened wide and I swear I could hear her teeth grinding. Auntie looked at her, her face pleasant and open, and Tamayu bowed her head.
“As you wish, Auntie. I will instruct the maids to move Ren’s things into my room.”
“No. They are very busy at the moment. Do it yourself.”
Auntie threw the last words over her shoulder, clicking her fingers for the boys—with Aki still hanging between them like so much washing straight from the tub—to follow her. Only when their footsteps died away did Tamayu stand and walk out of the room. I thought for a moment she was going to speak to me. I was deeply relieved when she did not.
Five
Who can count the grains
Of sand on a beach? Surely
Only a fool tries
“Do kneel down, Junko.” Saki patted the cushion at her side. “Now, do you think you might pour some tea for me? In fact, shall we make a game of it? Pretend I’m an honored patron and you’re performing the tea ceremony for me.”
I giggled happily. Saki was a plump, tolerant young woman, perhaps four or five years older than me. Nothing seemed to upset her. Whenever one saw her, it seemed she was about to smile. Everything in her life seemed to please her, from her patrons down to each mouthful of food she ate. She admitted that she was greedy.
“Life is far too short not to enjoy it,” she instructed me cheerfully. “If I have one word of advice for you, Junko, it is this. Never do anything that you do not want to do. Never put a morsel of food into your mouth that you will not enjoy. If it is raining, do not sigh for the sunshine. Regret nothing.”
She beamed at me. A demon of mischief made me want to point out that she had said far more than one word, but I did not. I liked Saki far too much to disagree with anything she said. Besides, her words seemed very wise to me.
I bowed low and passed her the brimming tea bowl.
“Very gracefully done,” she said approvingly. “Now pour some tea for yourself and pass me one of those cakes. We’ll have a little chat.”
I made myself comfortable at her side, alert for anything this kind new elder sister might want from me.
“You’ve been with Tamayu for some time.” She licked the remains of the daifuku cake off her fingers with huge enjoyment. “I can see she’s taught you the tea ceremony very well. And I know that you can sing and play the samisen, for I’ve heard you. Can you dance as well?”
“Oh yes. Tamayu taught me to dance very well.” As I said it, the shadow of Tamayu telling me I danced with all the grace of a lame donkey passed across my mind. “At least, I think she did,” I added doubtfully.
“I’m sure she did. I cannot imagine Tamayu tolerating a maiko who couldn’t dance. She herself is very proud of her dancing skills.”
There was something in her voice that made me glance at Saki doubtfully, but she was smiling sweetly.
“And the patrons are delighted with you already. I’ve seen the way they look at you when we have a party of them.” Saki made up her mind and darted her hand out for the last cake. A fraction away from it, she paused and looked at me hopefully. “Unless you would like it, dear?”
I would have loved it, but depriving Saki of cake would be too much like denying a child her treat, so I shook my head.
“I will take far more pleasure from watching you eat it, Saki-san,” I said honestly.
“There now!” Saki beamed at me. “What a sweet child she is! I’m so glad Auntie decided I’m going to be your elder sister. It’s ages since I had a maiko to look after, and I know we’ll make a huge success of you. You’ll be the talk of Edo, I’m sure. I’ve nothing against Tamayu, you understand. She’s one of the most sought-after geisha in the Floating World. Her patrons are many and distinguished. But I find she can be…Now how can I put this? A little prickly?”
I nodded. Prickly. Yes, that was a very good word to describe Tamayu. I imagined hugging her would be exactly the same as trying to hug a hungry wolf. “But just between us two, Junko-chan, I’ve heard that since she lost you as her maiko, Tamayu has decided that she’s had enough of the Green Tea House. She’s talking sweetly to her danna and is doing her best to persuade him to buy her out.”
It was a moment before I understood what Saki was telling me. I put my hand in front of my mouth with shock. Appreciative of my obvious surprise, Saki nodded wisely.
“But Tamayu hated me,” I said. “She always told me I was useless. That I would never be good enough to be a geisha here in the Green Tea House. Why should she want to leave now that she’s gotten rid of me?”
Saki pulled a face. Then she shrugged, smiling again. “You must understand, when Tamayu lost you as her maiko, it was a huge loss of face for her. Everybody knows that you’re going to be very special, very popular. Tamayu was going to take credit for that, of course. She was already telling all the patrons that she had taught you everything, that all your talents were only the same as hers, but secondhand. And what does she say to the patrons now when they ask about you? She can hardly tell them the truth, so she has to say that it was your fault. That you got above yourself because you’re so beautiful and were cheeky to her, so she had to ask Auntie to give you to me. The patrons know it’s all lies, of course, but they smile and nod to her face and then laugh at her behind her back.”
I sat silently, trying to make sense of her words. Me? Special? Tamayu, of all people, was telling the patrons that I was talented and beautiful? I shook my head.
“Saki-san, I am afraid that none of that can be true. I am nothing but a country girl, a provincial nobody. I have no talents at all and still less beauty.” I was suddenly seized with a fear so huge it made me tremble. “I will disappoint the patrons. Auntie will be angry with me and send me home. Or to Kaede’s house to be with Aki.”
Saki goggled at me. The sight of her sweet, calm face looking so worried almost made me forget my own fears.
“Nonsense, dear.” She pulled a mirror toward her. It was a real mirror, one with glass in it, and very expensive. I knew one of her patrons had gifted it to her. Tamayu had been jealous and had nagged her danna to buy her a better one. “Now, just look at yourself and tell me what you see.”
I peered in the mirror. This was really me. I saw a small face. Even features. Good skin. I put my finger on my reflection, expecting to feel warmth and was surprised when the surface was cold. But was I beautiful? No, of course not. I was what I had always been—just me. I shrugged and handed the mirror back to Saki carefully.
“I look like everybody else, Saki-san,” I said simply. She bit her lip and then laughed.
“You just carry on thinking that, dear. Do you know, I think that’s part of your charm. You have no idea of the effect you have on the patrons, do you?”
I didn’t know what Saki was talking about. Both Ren and I were called upon to attend the patrons often. We served tea and occas
ionally were called upon to dance or play the samisen. More often than not, we were expected to do no more than sit and be alert for whatever the patrons wanted. We made sure their sake cups were never empty. That the cushions they sat on were arranged for their comfort. If one of them said something witty, we laughed behind our fans and looked adoring. Most of the patrons were old men—rich old men. Often, they patted our arms or pinched our cheeks. I hated that.
Saki was smiling at me fondly, and I decided she was simply being nice to me. I blessed her for it. Tamayu had never been nice. Saki yawned and stretched, looking longingly at her futon.
“Would you like to go and sit in the garden for a while, dear? I have one of my favorite patrons coming to see me tonight and I really would like a little nap now.”
Obediently, I jumped to my feet and left her snuggling down in her bedding. Normally, I loved sitting in the garden. It was sparse, a tranquil area of carefully selected shrubs and raked gravel, adhering strictly to Zen principles. It was a soothing, pleasant place. Yet today, it did not attract me at all. I was fidgety and wandered through the tea house, hoping to find somebody to talk to me. But there was no one. Tamayu was out. As Ren was also missing, I assumed that she was with Tamayu. Auntie’s screen door was wide open, her room empty. The day was overcast and close. Even the maids were taking the chance to doze.
I paused outside Tamayu’s room, biting my thumbnail. I knew what I wanted to do, but did I dare? I darted inside before fear could stop me and stood listening, sure that Tamayu would pop out from somewhere and clout me around the head for daring to go into her room.
“Well, if you don’t enter the tiger’s cave, you will not catch its cub,” I said out loud. It had been one of my mother’s favorite sayings, and hearing the words gave me courage. Even so, I walked toward the cedarwood chest on tiptoe and paused, listening, before I dared to lift the lid.
