Newscasters yammered on from the car’s speakers as he drove the short distance to the airport. While vehicles clogged the downtown streets as usual, they seemed to luck out of construction delays and backups.
“I’m sorry if we’re behind schedule,” Roxie finally said.
“Only twenty minutes. We’re fine.”
She snorted.
Okay, clearly she was far from fine. And what the hell could he say? He’d packed, turned off the lights, and strode right out of his apartment. The bare existence he resided in but couldn’t call home. There was no one to hug goodbye, no one to wish him safe travels, or to give him one last kiss. Had he still been married to Tara, she probably wouldn’t have even been at home, and if she had been, no niceties were ever shared. Yes, he had his siblings and his dad, but they were all at their own places. Busy with their normal lives like normal adults with normal jobs.
He didn’t even have a fucking dog like Roxie had Trio. And with all those absences in his life, he was empty-handed as to how to console Roxie with the thought of being away from her daughter for one night.
Who was he kidding? Clearly he was far from fine.
Depressed and vulnerable at the reminder he belonged to no one, he let silence fall between them for the rest of the car ride to the airport.
He parked the car in the garage, and they headed for check-in. They said nothing to each other all through the lines, after security clearance, and while they walked to their gate.
When they stood near the entrance to boarding, Roxie flung her hands in the air. “Look, I said I’m sorry.”
He squinted at her, confused at her outburst. “Excuse me?”
Tears threatened as she set one hand on her hip. “I said I was sorry for making us late.”
Scanning their surroundings, he double-checked they were at the right gate, and yes, they still had seven minutes to boarding. “We’re not la—”
“Yeah, we made it. But you’ve been grouchy and PO’d ever since I got in the car. I know you demand all my attention on the job. I get that you’re always punctual. But you don’t have to be a dick because I made us a couple minutes late. We got here on time, didn’t we? I’ve never had to leave her. She’s just a little baby. My baby.”
People had turned toward them as her voice escalated in decibel and emotion. Her cheeks shone with tears. He didn’t hesitate one second before he pulled her into his arms. He tucked her head under his chin and held her tight as she cried.
Jesus. It’s only one night, sweetheart. For a woman as strong-willed and independent as Roxie, he was speechless that she’d even blown up. Well, not for losing her temper, he seemed to provoke her plenty in that regard. But she never lost her cool. She never cried. From what he could tell, when life was tough, she got right back up, ready for more.
His heart clenched as she sniffled, and he regretted not paying closer attention to just how distraught she was. In his mind, it was just one night. But to her, it was more. It was the first time away from her baby. He was every kind of an ass to wallow in his own misery and not consider her hardship.
“Come on, Roxie, everything is okay. I’m not grouchy and I’m not pissed off. Not at you.”
“Bull,” she said into his chest.
He rubbed her back with one hand and massaged the back of her neck with his other. “You saying goodbye to Lucy only reminded me I don’t have anyone to say goodbye to.”
She stiffened under his touch. Her throat tightened as she swallowed. Slowly, she pulled back and lifted her head to meet his gaze.
He wiped the wetness from her cheeks as he stared at her, afraid his touch would mar her silky skin. Her brows pinched as she studied him. In confusion or disbelief, he didn’t know. But as he smoothed his hands to her cheeks and framed her face, he knew the second he wished he could take back his words. Because now she eyed him with something like compassion and concern.
While he didn’t want her upset because of leaving Lucy, he was equally uncomfortable with her pitying him for his loneliness. Or any comments or questions she’d offer about his current single life.
“If you were going on this trip by yourself, I’d say goodbye to you,” she said.
With a kiss, too?
She blinked. “As your assistant,” she quickly clarified.
Of course. He almost smiled as he realized she hadn’t batted his hands away from her face. And she seemed to have forgotten to resist his hug.
Assistant. Boss. Seemed the boundaries were weakening again. “Besides, if I were truly pissed off, you’d know better than to snap at me like that, right?” For good measure, he chucked her chin and stepped back.
She scoffed. “Ha.” A smile started to lift her lips as she rolled her eyes.
As the boarding call for first class sounded, he picked up his briefcase and her tote and gestured for her to go ahead. Once they found their seats on the plane, they settled in.
“Can you get your notes on Kylie?” he said as he took his coat off. It was only a two-hour flight, but he saw no reason not to be comfortable.
“Still can’t say please?” she retorted.
Ah. There she was. This was the Roxie he knew. Grateful the awkwardness of her tears and his consoling were over, he was determined to try to play by her rules. Professionals. Nothing more. He wanted to respect her wishes and keep it to business, but if he touched her again, it would take a reserve of energy he didn’t have not to do more.
“Please, Roxie,” he said as he sat.
If he said ‘please’, could he get her to consider something past the title of him being her boss?
The plane taxied, and soon they were in the air, bound for Florida. Reviewing the papers of Kylie’s interview with the investigators, Grant tried his hardest to pass the time of the entire flight focusing, actually reading the words on the pages.
With a flick of his hand, he finally gave up and tossed the sheet to his lap tray, turning to face Roxie. “It really is only one night.”
She smirked and didn’t look at him. “In two separate rooms?”
He glared at her. He might want her, but he wasn’t an ass. Not that kind.
“Yes. Attorney.” He pointed to himself.
“Assistant.” He pointed to her. “Just as you’ve explained.”
She sighed. “I know it’s only one night. I’m sorry I overreacted.”
“If I were in your shoes, I’m sure I’d find it hard the first time, too.”
Folding her arms over her chest, she shifted to give him all her attention. “Did you ever think about having kids?”
No. Please no. He only wanted to reassure she was coping with this trip, and not hating him for being the cause of her having to go on a trip. He was absolutely not ready to speak about the child he almost had. He shook his head. “Don’t. Not now.”
“Right. None of my business.” She avoided his eyes.
He grabbed her hand and held it. “No. Just not now.” He hadn’t talked about the baby Tara ‘lost’. Not with anyone. But he could see himself opening up to Roxie. Only not on a plane with a half hour before landing.
She squeezed his hand. “It wasn’t only the thought of leaving Lucy that was so hard. I mean, my God, she’ll need to go to preschool in a few years. And before I know it, she’ll be in high school, or moving away for college. Sure, it’s scary, and I chalked it up to this being the first time. First time I’m a mom. First time I’m away from her.”
As she paused and sighed, he said, “What, then?”
She shook her head. “How bad I am at this. Being a mom. This young. A single parent. I love Sophia and I never take her for granted, but this isn’t at all how I envisioned this. I planned to finish vet school. Get a job. Settle for a husband if I couldn’t find a man to love. Make a family.” She scoffed. “I love Lucy with all my life, and I hate how I have to shortcut it for her. She shouldn’t have to have a mom who works full-time when she’s so young. She shouldn’t have to be an only child. She should…”
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After a deep breath, she shrugged. “I never anticipated how hard it would be. I’d wanted to secure a good life for myself to be able to provide for any family I could have. I know this is only a one-night trip. But then there will be more trips. Maybe longer ones. Maybe you’ll finally get sick of me and I’ll have to work a different job. Different hours. Farther away.”
Two days ago she’d been too defiant to reveal anything about herself. The details of her life, her innermost thoughts. Her opinions, she never hid those. After they’d kissed at Velocity, he’d deliberately busied himself and stayed out of her way to cool his heels and let his dick calm down. This morning, he realized there might be a line keeping them distinct in the workplace, but there was no clean-cut divider in his mind or heart.
Blown away by her honesty, he struggled for a reply. “I have no experience with parenthood, but I’m convinced you’re not a bad mother.”
“But this sure isn’t the way I wished it had happened. I will never regret having Lucy. I only regret not being able to give her more. I could still have a job and a career and not feel bad if she had a father in her life.”
“Because her father wanted nothing to do with her? Mr. One-Night Stand?”
“Oh, he was interested later. In a way.”
“How so?”
She tipped her head back to the head-rest and eyed him. “Should I assume your nosiness got the better of you? You looked up my case?”
Shifting closer to face her, he let the notes on Kylie’s police interviews slide toward the gap between his thigh and his arm-rest. No point even trying to concentrate on work. And no purpose in re-reading the same damn things he’d spent weeks studying.
“I read about your guilty verdict of killing a horse. Nothing further than that.”
“No?” Her brows raised.
“Caught an article from PETA too. But I’ve been working on Ben’s case.”
Lines creased her forehead. “Right. Never mind.”
He grabbed her hand again as she retracted. No. No. She wasn’t running. “And I respect that your business is yours. I’d rather you speak to me of your own volition than research behind your back. Now what happened? You legally admitted to killing a horse, an investment of the ranch where you worked?”
She licked her lips after a single nod.
“After I completed my pre-vet requirements, I knew I wouldn’t last long as a TA in grad school. Teaching assistant. Running around fetching papers, doing the bitchwork, menial office tasks for the prof who was the king of the show…” She winced.
“Like you do for me, you mean?”
“Hey, I told you, I don’t work well with people.”
He snorted. “‘Busywork isn’t your thing. I get it. And I agree. Go on.”
“So, I immediately looked for a field research assistantship. To be hands on and doing the job. I found an opportunity under Dr. Wonn. He was a private chief veterinarian at the commercial racing stables, Luckey Downs, owned by Tuck Harrison. It was an hour and a half away from Atlanta, but it was a perfect chance. I’d have room and board provided in a studio apartment above the loft. Expenses covered. And most importantly, the majority of my tuition. It sucked traveling back to campus for the remaining coursework, but by the time I started, I was primarily doing clinical field work under Dr. Wonn’s supervision.”
Grant waved his hand at the stewardess approaching. And Roxie continued.
“It was too good to be true. Wonn was very inclusive. He didn’t take advantage and let me do his job for him, but he let me participate in any procedure I was willing to learn. Luckey Downs had a handful of prime thoroughbreds for racing, a small stock for breeding show horses, but they were best known for greyhound racing. And that’s where I wanted to focus.
“My degree was in small animal specialization, not equine, so being there I got a lot of both. Ideal if I wanted to set up my own multi-service practice in a small town somewhere. So that’s what I did for five and a half years. Study. Examine animals. Diagnose diseases. Inspect pathogens. Study some more. I had no other life.”
It was a drive he could sympathize with. Law school left equal spare time for fun, and her devotion to school paralleled his own commitment.
“One night, after midterm exams, I bunked history. Right after I checked my scores, my kick-ass GPA, double-checking I was soaring on my path to finally being done with school, I decided to have a taste of fun. Tuck, the owner, had one son, Jimmy. A classic wannabe cowboy. Nothing but a spoiled, rich pretty boy with too much charm.
“Since the day I started at Luckey Downs, he was after me. But I didn’t have time. I didn’t date. I didn’t socialize. I didn’t care who or what hit on me. My vet license mattered too much. So that one night, I gave in to his pestering. Wasn’t like the ranch was a social hub where I could pick up men. One night at the bar. One drink. One stupid-ass country dance.
“Well, obviously one thing led to another, and I decided to give in a little more, afraid I was throwing away all my chances to be young and free to have fun, and I went home with him. Honestly, I’m surprised he even got it up, he was so damn drunk. But he did. And after about fifteen minutes of an unsatisfactory and very unmemorable romp in his bed, Lucy was conceived.”
She shook her head and crossed her arms. “A month later, I knew something was up, and sure enough, a test showed my one-night stand, hell, my one-night-in-five-years stand landed me a baby. I debated telling him, because he’d already forgotten about me. And I’d already dismissed him. After that one night, he hardly even spoke to me, just winks when I passed by or catcalls when he’d see me in the stables. But he was the father. He deserved to at least know. So I told him. He laughed in my face. Said no fucking way. Called me a gold-digger. Threatened to remove me from the property.”
Grant fisted his hand at his side.
“I talked him down. I didn’t want anything. I knew I was keeping her. I was keeping her. I was no stranger to doing things on my own. So I told Dr. Wonn, informed the department at school. I swore I could keep up with my schooling, and I did. As I got bigger, I couldn’t do as many tasks, especially with the horses, but I stuck to it. When I was seven months along, Sophia moved into the studio with me to help. Lucy was born, healthy and happy, and we three girls toughed it out in the studio in the barn.
“I took two months off from Dr. Wonn. Really, a semester break conveniently helped me there. But I was able to work, breastfeed Lucy, and pop in all the time. Looking back, it was the perfect arrangement of an unplanned situation. I was always there. A stairwell away. Dr. Wonn was very accommodating. Not that he was very family-friendly, but he was too much in his own world, his own research, to care about what I did as long as I performed.”
Can I do that? Bring Lucy to the office so Roxie could continue to be near her? His instinct to provide for Roxie’s happiness startled him, because with that strategy, he cemented his desire for her to remain with the law firm. Or go with him when he left after Ben’s case.
“So I thought I was doing all right. I’d still graduate. Sophia was helping me. All was well. One night when Lucy was three months old, she woke up fussing. I settled her to bed, but I couldn’t fall back asleep. I went downstairs for a few minutes of fresh air and I saw a light on in Dr. Wonn’s main office. He was out of town at the time, leaving me loosely in charge. Nothing was going on, and there really weren’t any procedures to be done, no exams. He hadn’t forked over any official responsibilities to me because I was still technically a student, but I was to ‘hold down the fort’. No one should have been in there.
“Jimmy was in there, rummaging through the med cabinets. He’d broken off one of the padlocks. I asked him what he was doing, and he laughed and told me to get lost. I didn’t smell alcohol, so I assumed he was sober, but I didn’t trust him. Owner’s son or not. He’d never bothered to mess around in Wonn’s space before. He grabbed a bottle and a syringe and rushed past me. Said he needed to check on a horse. I followed him to Bolting
ton’s Deep-Night Dreams. Bolt, for short. A thoroughbred worth about three million who was expected to win big.”
“He drugged it?”
She nodded. “I pulled at his arms when he loaded the hypo up. I wanted to call for help, 911, anyone, but my phone was upstairs and I couldn’t leave him with Bolt. I screamed at him, asking what the hell was going on. He punched me and shoved me down.
“I kicked him in the balls, and once he was on the ground, wrestling with me, he delivered the ultimate threat. He was screwed with gambling debts. He needed to throw Bolt’s upcoming race. He had to kill Bolt, collect the insurance money to cover his ass. I begged him not to. There had to be a better way. No one would believe the horse just died by accident.”
She gnawed on her lip. “But he’d planned for when Wonn was away. It wouldn’t be an accident. It was going to be my fault. As the inexperienced student, I was going to accidentally give Bolt the wrong med. And if I spoke to anyone about it, told anyone what he did…”
“Lucy.” As soon as Grant found that fucker, Jimmy was long overdue for some payback.
She exhaled harshly. “He’d take her. He’d acknowledge her. Get custody. His lawyers would beat mine. He’d find a way. Never mind he hadn’t even known if I’d had a girl or a boy. It was his leverage. So… I chose Lucy.”
Too stunned and angry for speech, Grant flexed his grip on her hand. If they weren’t thousands of feet in the sky with an armrest between them, he’d have brought her to him. Fuck it. Pulling her into his lap, he wrapped his arms around her anyway.
She finished her tale into his chest. “So he shot him up and Bolt died. Since I was a student, they tried me in civil court instead of criminal. It was a messy kind of hell with school. Jimmy got his insurance money. Wonn couldn’t defend me. There were no witnesses. A stable hand was overly curious about why I had a black eye—from Jimmy punching me—but I played it off as an accident. And I was terrified of his reach to take Lucy from me. To let her go through the system like I had after my family died. I pleaded guilty, too afraid to even put up a fight so I wouldn’t lose her. I had a crappy court-appointed attorney anyway. I wouldn’t have even had a chance against the Luckey Downs’s legal team. And now here I am. Millions in debt. No dream career.”
Resisting Redemption Page 16
