The radio static continued: “...sssshHHHssssHHHessie? Tessie, come—sssshhhhHHHHHsss—essie! Tessie, do you read?” Lady Webster’s distressed pleas went unanswered: these creatures didn’t strike Tessie that the sort to speak English (of course, Tessie certainly didn’t know how to speak squawk, if there was such a language).
With Webster and the rest of the Strange Brigade seemingly in a bit of a bind, Tessie had to figure out how to get out from under whatever was holding her down and draw the creatures away from the plane. That’s it, No more naps on top of plateaus, she solemnly vowed to herself as she tried to wriggle free.
Hm. Can’t move.
The intermittent radio chatter continued: “Tessie, for God’s sake! We need immediate extraction! We’re low on ammo and we can’t hold off these—sssssHHHHH!”
At that moment, whatever was pinning Tessie to the ground eased off enough for Tessie to make her move. In a flash, she’d slid out from underneath the creature and scrambled frantically away, before popping up to her feet and making a beeline for the plane.
Slaloming past the winged beast, she dived into the plane’s cargo hold, harried by the urgent banging on the plane’s fuselage.
Determined to at least answer Lady Webster’s transmission, Tessie stumbled her way to the cockpit as the plane shook violently from the flying monsters’ swipes against the plane. She looked out of the cockpit window briefly to catch a glimpse.
“You gotta be kiddin’ me...” she said flatly as she scrambled for the radio mic. “This is Tessie, come in, Webster! Webster, I’m here. Where y’all at?”
“SsssHHHhhHHSHHSHHH...”
Tessie had to get into the air. “Well, Tessie, girl... this is what they pay you fo’!” She sat in the pilot-side seat and began to buckle up, but jumped and screamed at a colossal BANG and the sound of smashing glass from the far side of the cockpit.
Tessie desperately began starting the plane, trying to put as much distance as she could between herself and the beast’s probing beak, inching closer by the second. She primed the engines, but the ready light stayed dark; the dinosaur’s frenzied snapping inched ever closer.
Tessie primed the engines one more time and shouted with relief as the ready light flickered into life; just as she hit the button to start the engines, she yelled, “I don’t know what to call y’all but I know one thang: y’all should’ve stayed extinct!”
Tessie slammed the button and the plane’s propellers roared into life. A gristly shredding noise suggested the blades had made contact with one of the beasts, and she squealed with delight and burst into laughter as the plane lurched forward toward the cliff edge.
She needed to turn around, and though the plateau was just wide enough to do that, she had to time it right, both to avoid running straight into either of the two winged monstrosities and to line up the plane properly for take-off.
Tessie pressed the radio transmission button on the console. “Hol’ on, Webster! I’m on my way!”
“ssssssHHHHHHHESSIE! Miss Caldwell, thank God! We’re really up against it down here!”
They’re okay... for now, Tessie thought as she hooked the control yoke sharply to the right, the left front tyres just missing the edge of the cliff as Tessie prepared to line up for takeoff, finding herself face-to-face with one of the creatures. It flapped its wings maniacally, spraying crimson over the front of plane from where it was wounded. “Ah, heck!” Tessie shouted. She pushed the transmit button. “Webster, I’m not even in the air yet! I’ve been fighting off two... dinosaurs, I think! I can’t believe I’m what I’m saying, to tell you th’ truth! Whatchu call them dinosaurs that got wings and a long-ass beak? Start with a... p, you copy?”
“SsssssHHHey’re called pterodactshhhhhHHHHHI’ll take you to the museum when we get back but right now, I need you to jolly well get us out of here!”
“I’m tryin’, gahtdammit!” Tessie snapped back. “Damn! Ain’t no need to get all stressy with me, Webster!”
“Just please get airborne and come get us, Miss Caldwell! Our coordinates are 0°48’27.7 south, 89°22’24.8 west, same as the drop-off. We’re running out of time!”
“I’m coming, Webster, girl! Hol’ on, okay?”
Tessie had to rely mostly on dead reckoning to get lined up right. “Okay... okay... that’s the rock wall... still the rock wall...” The cockpit windows started glowing as the sun shone directly on them. Tessie could just about make out a flat line. “Horizon! Bye-bye, dino birdies!” She slammed the plane’s accelerator forward and the plane responded dutifully with a sharp lurch forward, gathering speed as angry pterodactyl croaking filled the air behind her.
She sped towards the horizon. “Patience, Tessie girl... patience... aaand... NOW!” Tessie pulled up on the controls with all of her might. The plane started to lift but it didn’t feel like she had completely cleared the ground. Pterodactyl blood started to peel away from the windscreen, marginally improving Tessie’s visibility. “C’mon baby... c’mon! COME ON! GET UP!”
The plane rose steadily as Tessie hooked the controls again to the right, hugging the cliff wall over the volcano’s caldera. The plane engines picked up an octave, letting out a supreme shriek as the revolutions per minute climbed exponentially. She grunted as she fought against the force feedback to hold her line and the plane responded majestically, allowing her just enough control to come away from the volcano wall and head towards the Pacific.
Lord almighty, how You gon’ make a place so beautiful and so deadly? Tessie thought. One minute, I’m gettin’ a little shuteye and mindin’ my business, then alla sudden, I’m being poked and prodded by hungry gotdamn flying dinosaurs! We coulda just kept on filing nails at White Sox, speakin’ o’ mindin’ our damn business but nawl! You just had to be a pilot, huh?
As Tessie began to level out, she hit the transmission button. “All right, Webster! I made it to the sky! Comin’ to get y’all!”
THE SKIES NEVER felt so inviting as Tessie made her way to the coordinates Lady Webster gave her over the radio. The ambient sounds of explosions and gunfire, though dull from where Tessie was, high up in the air, sounded a lot more real now than they did as background noise to Lady Webster’s transmissions.
“Webster, I’m making my approach! How’re y’all holdin’ up?”
“sssssSHHHot good, Miss Caldwell! These things are closing in fast! How far out are you, over?”
“I’m right above you!”
“Right! We’re heading for the clearing where you dropped us off, over!”
“Copy that, over! I’m just circling around now! Y’all make your way to the meeting point!”
“Copy, Miss Caldwell. Over and out!”
Tessie increased the plane’s speed as she flew out over Isla de San Cristobal and into a wide circle. “Okay... time to go get ’em, Tessie girl.”
Talking to herself had never seemed very odd to Tessie. The way she saw it, she felt compelled to be her biggest coach, critic, and cheerleader; especially when no one else is around to fill that role.
Especially when Gramps wasn’t around...
The plane puttered along smoothly back toward Isla de San Cristobal and Tessie’s eyes started flying around the console, making adjustments to the controls where necessary.
Her concentration was broken by a shrill cry from the left. Damn, she thought. The other one. Indeed, the second pterodactyl was coming in, the loud flap of its gigantic wings interspersed with its vengeful screeching. It was the second aberration and not the first: this one didn’t have a wounded wing. Which also meant it was technically at full strength, and wouldn’t be so easy to evade.
Lady Webster and the team would be no use to her until they made it to the meeting point; Tessie was on her own to stave off the threat. Her eyes cut to the radio on the console and then back towards Isla de San Cristobal. Why tell ’em what’s happenin’ when they can see it for themselves? Might even be able to kill two birds with...
Tessie, girl. Now ain’t the t
ime for puns.
Nevertheless, Tessie’s trademark overconfidence kicked in. She went full throttle and turned the plane toward the spitting mad creature.
“Okay, you freak wit’ wings... let’s see if you can keep up!” Tessie growled defiantly. She was about to play Chicken with a prehistoric creature; and if she worked it right, she’d even buy her team on the ground more time. Doubtless in her ability, Tessie readjusted her instruments while she cannonballed along at the surging pterodactyl.
The radio crackled to life again. “sssssHHHSHHSHHessie, come in! Miss Caldwell, do you read?”
“I hear ya, Webster! You at the spot, over?”
“Affirmative! We arSSSSHHHhhhsssHHH...”
Tessie pushed the transmission button repeatedly to try and reengage the lost signal, to no avail. Gotdammit. The plane pelted along relentlessly in its head-on collision with the avian atrocity. Radio static hiss warred with the engine’s thundering around the plane.
Seconds away from a collision, the pterodactyl unleashed an earthshattering skreigh, trying to back Tessie down. Tessie stayed the course, mentally crossing her fingers. The plane’s speedometer needle was buried as far right it could go. The pterodactyl’s wings were completely unfurled, screeching like a flaming banshee bursting free from the bowels of hell.
Tessie’s eyes narrowed, and she gritted her teeth. Neither party backed down… and just before the moment of impact, Tessie rolled the pilot’s wheel, lowering the left wing. The pterodactyl, suddenly faced with the plane’s propeller blades, countered by diving straight down; but not without taking a hell of a slash to its lower back. Tessie grunted hard as the plane shuddered savagely, released from her aerial dogfight into a struggle with her own flying machine. She wrestled with the controls as the plane continued into a slow barrel roll. Come the hell on, Tessie, girl! Who’s the boss: you or this damn plane?!
Her efforts at first seemed ineffective, as the plane started to yaw down towards the cerulean waters of the Pacific Ocean. You ain’t goin’ out like this, Tessie Caldwell! Get it together! COME ON! She inhaled deeply, holding the breath as she loosened up her arms and shoulders, closed her eyes and let go of the yoke.
And then she heard him, chuckling faintly as if he were right in the co-pilot seat. You know what to do, young one. I ain’t gotta tell you a thang. With Gramps’ warm voice ringing in her ears, Tessie’s eyes snapped open; bringing the stir-crazy pilot instruments back into full view. The wheel thrashed loosely from right to left, and she timed herself carefully, grabbing it just as it nipped back to the left.
She regained that familiar feedback feeling of the plane’s weight and pulled back slowly, tilting the wheel back to the right as she carefully throttled down. The plane evened out and began to rise, kicking off the start of a massive loop. There you go, Tessie, baby! There you go! And she cheered herself on to pulling off the unthinkable as the plane continued its loop.
DOWN ON THE island, Lady Webster was running at breakneck speed through the trees, alongside three of her compatriots; one dressed in a fine suit, another completely decked out in Maasai warrior garb but barefooted, and the third wearing an outfit like Lady Webster’s, sans overalls—flannel shirt and dusty khaki trousers, with a bandana holding back her hair.
“Does Tessie know where to meet us?!” Gracie asked as they ran from the ghouls, Nalangu and De Quincey providing cover fire.
Lady Webster didn’t answer but instead slowed down to look towards the coast.
“Our Tessie seems indisposed at the minute, Gracie.” She kept her eyes on the plane as it finished its loop, its attacker limping off over the waves. “Nalangu! Archimedes! Can you buy us some more time until Tessie gets here?”
A disgruntled De Quincey, head and shoulder pressed firmly against the crevasse wall interspersed his reply with rifle fire. “If we… must, Lady Webster! Frankly… Tessie has taken more… time than we can afford, but what’s… another few minutes? Not like we’re… running for our lives or anything!”
Nalangu snorted at De Quincey’s tone as she lay blind fire from the opposite wall. “Professor, you really must choose a better time to make these observations! More shooting and less sarcasm!”
De Quincey answered by taking aim at one of the undead and popping it right between the eyes with a single shot. “That to your liking, Nalangu?” He released the empty bullet magazine, patting around frantically for his next one. “Blast... I think I’m out.”
Nalangu tossed over one of her spares. “That is my second to last one, professor! And to answer your question, what I would like is for you to make it count!”
The horde’s numbers seemed only to rise as the crevasse filled with more and more of the undead, leaping over the lifeless bodies of their fallen fellows. Lady Webster was still looking around the sky to see if Tessie had managed to make it back towards the clearing. She wiped the sweat beading on her brow, glancing back to Nalangu and De Quincey holding the ghouls back before turning to see Gracie aiming a flare into the air. “This is why I usually stay back at headquarters,” Lady Webster murmured to herself.
No sooner had Lady Webster spoke than the familiar sound of an airplane reached her ears. Tessie rocketed past them over the threes, turning immediately to land the plane and touching down just a few hundred meters away from the Brigade in the clearing ahead.
Lady Webster expected Tessie to stop, but the penny dropped as she realised the plane was still rolling. “Right, you lot!” she shouted. “We’ve got to make a run for it!”
De Quincey’s rifle clicked as he shot his last bullet, sending another undead into a crumpled heap. “Fine by me!” He threw his rifle to the floor and bolted after Lady Webster and Gracie; Nalangu quickly discharged her remaining ammunition into the mob and made a break for the clearing herself.
All four of them ran out to the clearing as Tessie’s plane began to roll up. The sound of the Brigade’s feet pounding the earth of Isla de San Cristobal was all but lost in the stampede of the monstrous horde; they had to board the plane while it was still moving to have even a hope of getting away.
Gracie, huffing and puffing alongside Lady Webster, nodded toward the side of the plane. The side door was open, confirming Lady Webster’s instincts: Tessie was evidently on the same page. The Brigade steered themselves towards the door.
Gracie, Lady Webster, Nalangu, and De Quincey never stopped running, but neither did the ghouls. De Quincey felt lightheaded and winded but carried on as hard as he could. Despite having a headstart on Nalangu, he was now trailing her slightly, and reflecting that he could probably be a bit fitter.
“Gracie!” Lady Webster cried. “You first. Get in!” Gracie threw herself through the door before falling to the cargo hold floor and extending her hand to Lady Webster. Nalangu made an enormous leap over the younger woman, and Lady Webster—still only half-on herself—reached out to her. De Quincey had no choice: either leap or be left behind. Without breaking stride, the professor launched himself into the air and toward Nalangu’s outstretched arm and hand. The air was driven out of him as his chest slammed into the doorway, but his grip tightened around Nalangu’s forearm.
Gracie’s foot was hooked around a supporting bar, but she couldn’t hold all three of them for long. If her strength didn’t give out, her foot would slip; and both outcomes were odds-on to happen at the same time. Gracie pulled Lady Webster in as hard as she could just as Tessie’s voice rang from the cockpit: “I gotta speed up, y’all! We’re running out of ground! Y’all got to get in here NOW!”
Gracie kept pulling Lady Webster in. Seemingly miraculously, Webster was able to get a knee underneath her and heave herself forward onto Gracie, who stumbled back, wrapping her hands around her waist. Nalangu’s grip slipped from Lady Webster’s arm, but she managed to ram her fingers in the gap at the edge of the door; she and De Quincey bounced around on the edge of the door.
“DO NOT LET GO, PROFESSOR!”
“I WASN’T PLANNING ON IT, NALANGU!”
“Y’all!” bellowed Tessie. “Get in this damn plane! If I don’t speed up now, we’re done for.”
“HOL’ ON T’SOMETHIN’, Y’ALL!” Tessie shouted over the melancholy squawk of her prehistoric nemeses. Dive-bombing towards them like rain from the cloud, Tessie knew any wiggle room they had was spent. She hammered the throttle and the plane lurched forward sharply, causing the Brigade to slide further inside the hold and the pterodactyl to miss the plane and plummet straight into the mass of sprinting undead.
“Took y’all long enough!” she called back gleefully. “Get that gotdamn door closed and let’s get the hell outta here!”
Lady Webster returned to nursing her ribs as Gracie, Nalangu, and De Quincey pulled the door shut, the charging undead already scrabbling against the metal frame to their quarry.
“Sorry, you ugly scallywags!” De Quincey called as he closed the cargo door and Nalangu helped Lady Webster into a seat. “This flight is full!”
“Webster, you ain’t tell me anything about no damn flying dinos back in Panama before you offered me this gig!” Tessie said as she pulled back on the controls, finally getting the plane’s wheels off the ground.
Lady Webster grimaced in pain as Nalangu strapped her in. “I’m many things, Tess. One thing I’m not is clairvoyant.”
Tessie pulled further back on the stick as the airplane climbed away from the Galápagos and laughed. “Ain’t that the truth, Webster. Ain’t that the truth.”
The True History of the Strange Brigade Page 22
