How could things have gone so wrong?
The door opened then, and Jude cringed. He didn’t want to see anybody, let alone talk to anyone. He glanced up to see his father coming toward him.
“Jude, we need to talk cattle.”
Great. The topic he’d been avoiding ever since the first time the old man brought it up.
His father stopped in front of him, his brow furrowing as he looked Jude in the eye. “Something’s wrong. Is Kayla all right? The baby?”
Setting the crib piece aside, Jude crossed his arms and leaned against the workbench. “They’re both fine.”
“Whew. You had me worried for a minute.” His gaze narrowed on Jude, concern weighing heavy in his dark eyes. “What’s troubling you, son?”
Suddenly Jude felt more like a boy than a man. “I lost her, Dad.” He swallowed the lump that had settled in his throat. “Again.”
“Kayla?”
He nodded. “She’s decided to return to Denver and live with her in-laws.”
“Forever?”
“She says until the baby’s born.”
“Is she coming back then? What about the hotel?”
“At this point, she’s not sure. All I know is that I blew it.”
“Why do you say that?”
He didn’t realize he’d picked a game of twenty questions. Lowering his arms, he moved to the opposite side of the bench. “I asked her to marry me, and she said no, all right.”
“What do you mean, you—” Thumbs dangling from his belt loops, the old man followed him, shaking his head. “I don’t know why it is you and your brothers—Matt anyway—think you can just up and propose in some last-ditch effort to hold on to the women you love.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Did you tell Kayla you love her?”
He thought for a moment, shifting from one booted foot to the other. “Okay, so I might have failed to mention that, but I promised to take care of her and the baby.”
“Son, women need to know they’re loved. They want to see it as well as hear it. A man can tell a woman he loves her all day long, but if it doesn’t come through in his actions, she’s not going to believe him.”
Sounded like Kayla’s late husband. “Mama always said love is an action verb.”
“That’s right. And I never had a problem showing your mama I loved her. Providing for her, caring for her, doing little things without her asking. Then, one day, she looked at me said, ‘Tell me you love me.’” Leaning his backside against the workbench, he crossed his feet at the ankles. “I couldn’t understand it. I said, ‘You know I love you.’ To which she responded, ‘Then why is it so difficult for you to say?’”
Mama was never afraid to call his father out. Kind of like Hillary. “What did you do?”
“Well, after I swallowed my pride, I took her in my arms, told her I loved her, then gave her a kiss that took her breath away.”
Jude puffed out a laugh. “You know, you really didn’t need to share that last part.”
Dad’s brow lifted in irritation. “Yeah, well, deal with it.” He fell quiet for a moment. “When you and Kayla split, you were so heartbroken your mom was afraid you’d give up on finding love.”
“I didn’t give up. It was just that the bar had been set so high. Kayla got me in a way no one else ever had. We complemented each other. And she was the prettiest carpenter I’ve ever known.”
Dad grinned. “You sure you haven’t given up now? Because you’re talking in the past tense, as though Kayla is already gone.”
Jude shoved a hand through his hair. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Dad.” He stepped away from the bench and turned to face his father. “However, there is something I need to talk to you about.”
“Go ahead.”
“I hate to disappoint you, but I don’t want to be a cattle rancher.”
The old man simply stared.
“Woodworking is my passion.” Jude gestured throughout the shop. “And it’s providing me with more income than I ever imagined. I’m sorry, but I can’t give up on my dream. I just hope you can understand that.”
His father nodded. “I know you and your brothers think I’m stubborn and set in my ways, but I do understand. And I’m proud of you for standing up to me and telling me the truth.”
“You are?”
“Of course, I am. My dad thought I was crazy when I told him I wanted to be a cattle rancher, but he still respected my decision.”
“Does this mean you think I’m crazy?”
“A little, maybe.” The old man winked. “Though I am curious ’bout something.” He straightened and crossed to one of the inventory shelves where he picked up a baluster. “Just how much are you making from all this wood?”
The old man’s eyes grew wide when Jude told him what his income had been last year. “Why didn’t you tell me that in the first place? Good night.” Setting the wood piece back in the box, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his worn Wranglers and ambled back toward Jude. “You’d be crazy to give up that kind of money. Especially when you love what you’re doing.”
“What are you going to do about the cattle operation, though?”
“Well...” His father tilted his Stetson back and scratched his head. “I reckon it’s my turn to fess up now.”
“What do you mean?”
“Jude, I actually came in here to tell you I’ve changed my mind.”
“Changed your mind? Why?”
“When I told Hillary I was planning to turn the operation over to you, she told me I was crazy.”
Jude laughed. He could hear her saying just that.
“She wanted to know why I was giving up something that meant so much to me. When I told her I was doing it for her, because I thought she might want to travel or live in town, she glared at me and told me she loves me just the way I am and that I’d better not change a thing.”
“That’s great, Dad.” Jude could hardly believe that his father had been willing to sacrifice his dream—everything—for love. What had he ever sacrificed for love?
Nothing, except love itself.
The thought prodded him the rest of the night. In particular, the word sacrifice, but it wasn’t until he crawled into bed he understood why. He flipped on his lamp and riffled through the top drawer of his bedside stand until he found the envelope that contained a note from his mother. One she’d written shortly before she died.
Pulling out the card adorned with a columbine, he opened it and read.
My beloved Jude,
The time we shared at the beginning of your life and the end of mine are some of my most cherished memories. With five years between you and Matt, I was able to sit and hold my infant son to my heart’s content. Years later, when I got sick, you were there for me. Whether I needed a helping hand or just someone to sit with me, I could always count on you.
He briefly closed his eyes, trying to hold back the emotions that threatened.
Your loyalty is one of your greatest traits. But it also holds you back from following your dreams. Don’t give up on your dreams, Jude. In life or in love. Yes, it sometimes involves sacrifice, but it’s almost always worth it. The Bible tells us love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Whatever you long for, Jude, keep at it. Don’t ever give up.
Thoughts of Kayla played across his mind. He’d dreamed of being with her, building a life with her almost all of his adult life, but what had he ever done to make that dream become a reality?
Nothing.
His father was right. He’d given up. Both then and now. And that had to change because no sacrifice was too great for Kayla. He couldn’t give up hope. He would persevere.
Chapter Seventeen
Kayla ended the call with her mother, feeling more than a little conflicted.
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br /> Fingering the sheer curtain out of the way, she watched the snow fall over Ouray Friday afternoon. It felt good to be back in her own house. Well, not exactly hers, but Livie’s House was home nonetheless. For a few more days anyway.
When she’d returned yesterday, she’d been overwhelmed by the generosity of the townsfolk. She hadn’t been in Ouray long enough to really get to know anyone outside of Jude’s family, yet a steady flow of people, many of whom were strangers, had streamed in and out of her house all afternoon. Folks brought soups, casseroles, desserts...
Hillary’s daughter, Celeste Purcell, who was also expecting a baby in February, had dropped off cinnamon rolls and a hearty beef stew. This morning, Carly had come by with pumpkin muffins and quiche. And Lacie had stopped in just before lunch with some chocolate cupcakes. Considering Lacie had been battling morning sickness, Kayla felt extra blessed to receive those.
She’d never seen such an outpouring of kindness, let alone been the beneficiary. Not in all her years growing up on the road or when her father was sick or even when Shane died. Lily said that’s just how people were in Ouray. All Kayla knew was that it was going to make leaving this tiny town with a great big heart even more difficult.
“Hey, you’re supposed to be on the couch.”
Turning, she spotted Lily coming out of the kitchen, holding two white mugs. “I wanted to see the snow.”
“Don’t give me that.” Wearing a cream-colored cowl-neck tunic sweater over skinny jeans, Lily eased across the wooden planks. “You can see it from the sofa.”
“Not with these sheers filtering my view.”
“Fine.” Lily set the mugs on the coffee table before coming alongside Kayla. She slid the panels left and right, leaving an unobstructed view. “Happy now?”
“Yes, thank you.” Smiling at her friend, she returned to the sofa. “Ooo, hot chocolate.” She reached for one whipped-cream-topped cup, then sank onto the plush gray sofa, tucking her sock-covered feet beneath her. “You know, for an annoying big sister, you do a pretty good job of spoiling me.”
“Some people are worth spoiling.” Lily grabbed her own drink and joined Kayla on the couch. “Besides, this particular indulgence benefits me, too.” She lifted her mug in salute before taking a sip.
Kayla sure was going to miss her friend. Not to mention Jude. Actually, she missed him already. There had been a finality to his goodbye yesterday, and she knew she wouldn’t see him again before she left—if ever, since she was still undecided as to what to do, where to go, after the baby came.
She’d contemplated calling him, just to hear his voice, but decided against it. What was the point? She’d made her decision. She had to do what was best for her baby.
So why was she still plagued with all this confusion?
Because only a few days ago, you were embracing a new beginning in Ouray. New town, new home, new job...
“What did your mom have to say?” Lily watched her from the opposite end of the sofa.
“Just that she was glad I was back in Ouray and that you were with me and that she’d been praying.”
“What did she say about your decision to move in with the Bradshaws?”
“I think she was a little surprised, but after the initial shock wore off, she agreed that I needed to do what’s right for me and the baby.”
“I thought she might offer to come up here and stay with you herself.”
“And leave her sailor man? I don’t think so.” Though it would have been nice. She wrapped her hands tighter around her mug, savoring its warmth. “I didn’t tell you this, but Jude asked me to marry him.”
“What?” Lily’s green eyes went wide. She straightened and set her cup on the side table. “When?”
“Yesterday morning, before anyone else had arrived at the hospital.” She lifted a shoulder. “It wasn’t a real proposal, though. He only wanted to protect me from the Bradshaws.”
“Are you sure it was just that?” Her friend’s brow arched. “You don’t think it could have been because he wants you to stay in Ouray?”
Kayla swirled her spoon through her drink. “Why would he care if I stayed or not?”
“I can’t believe you even have to ask that.” Her friend shot her an annoyed look. “It’s obvious that Jude loves you and wants to pursue a relationship with you.”
“Yeah, right.” Kayla knew for a fact that Jude did not love her. He’d told her himself right after he kissed her, apologizing for getting caught up in the emotion of the day as if that was supposed to make everything all right.
“Say what you want, but it’s written all over his face whenever he sees you, Kayla. The gleam in his eye, smiling for no particular reason...” Lily retrieved her drink and leaned back. “And honestly, I think you might be in love with him, too.”
Kayla puffed out a laugh, nearly choking on the sip she’d just taken. “I’m not even sure I know what love is. I mean, I thought I loved Shane. But if that’s the case, why didn’t I grieve his death?” She looked toward the other end of the sofa. “All I ever felt was relief.”
Tenderness filled her friend’s gaze. “Sweetie, you did love Shane, but he betrayed that love, just like Wade betrayed me. The only difference was that Shane’s mistress came in a bottle. Betrayal erodes the trust we placed in that person. And in your case, it made you fearful. That’s where the relief came in. It doesn’t mean you didn’t love him. You simply weren’t afraid anymore.”
While that made sense... “But Shane’s been gone less than six months. How could I possibly be in love with someone else, as you suggested?”
“I fell in love with Noah in less than two months, and I didn’t even know him. You and Jude have a history. You know the kind of man he is, his character. That’s why you fell in love with him the first time.”
Yes, it was. And now, as she looked toward a future without him in it, it was becoming more and more apparent that she had indeed fallen in love with him again. His belief in her had gone a long way toward helping her regain faith in herself. He encouraged her and made her feel safe. He was everything she wanted in a man.
Except he didn’t love her.
“I just hope I’m making the right decision.”
“Turning down Jude’s proposal?”
She looked at her friend. “No, moving in with the Bradshaws.”
“I thought it was your idea.”
“It was.” Lifting a shoulder, she eyed her friend, guilt weighing heavily. “What are you going to do about the hotel?”
Lily drew in a breath laced with disappointment. “If you decide not to come back, I guess I’ll have to find another general contractor.” She shrugged. “It won’t be the same, though.” She took a sip.
The ache in Kayla’s heart intensified. Even though Lily understood why Kayla had to return to Denver, Kayla was letting her down. Like Jude, Lily believed in her. Trusted her and was counting on her to do the job.
“I completed all of my sketches. All I need to do is finish up the designs on my computer. I can do that in Denver and then email them to you so you’ll have everything you need.”
“I know.” Lily smiled and patted Kayla’s leg.
Downing the rest of her cocoa, Kayla set her mug aside. “It’s strange, yesterday I was confident that I was making the right decision, but now that I’m out of the hospital...I don’t know. Being here just feels so right.”
Lily reached for her hand. “Sweetie, maybe that’s because it is.”
* * *
After a restless night, Jude had spent all morning working on the plan he’d come up with somewhere between midnight and 2:00 a.m. This time, he would not let Kayla go without a fight.
Now, with the lunch crowd long gone, he slid into a window-side booth at Granny’s Kitchen and met the confused gazes of Joe and Maureen Bradshaw on the opposite side of the table.
“Thank you both for agreeing to meet me.”
“Is something wrong with Kayla?” Maureen’s dark eyes narrowed in concern.
“No, ma’am. Not that I’m aware of.” Seeing their angst, he decided it was best to get to the point. “I just wanted to let you both know that I’m planning to move to Denver to be near Kayla.” Since she would be living with them, he thought it only right to let the Bradshaws know about his plans.
The couple exchanged a look he couldn’t interpret, the way his parents so often had. As though having a private discussion without ever saying a word.
“You know she’s only been widowed for six months,” Joe finally said.
Hands clasped atop the glossy wooden tabletop, Jude met the man’s gaze. “That is something that played heavily into my decision.” He shifted in his seat. “You see, Kayla and I met seven years ago—long before she met your son—when she and her parents lived in Ouray for a short time, and I’ve been in love with her ever since.”
“I assume things didn’t work out?” Joe continued to watch him.
“No. Her parents left, she went with them, and due to some unfortunate miscommunication, we lost contact. And I’ve been kicking myself ever since for letting her go. That’s a mistake I’m not willing to make again.”
Maureen leaned closer. “You’re willing to wait, though?”
“Yes, ma’am. As long as it takes.”
“What if things don’t turn out the way you hope?” Joe reached for his half-full coffee cup. “What if Kayla doesn’t feel the same way about you?”
That was a question Jude had been trying to ignore. Though, deep inside, he knew the possibility was all too real. “Then at least I will know that I tried.”
The two looked at each other again.
Once again, Joe addressed him. “I realize we don’t know you, Jude. However, in the few times our paths have crossed, you’ve shown yourself to be more than a little protective of Kayla.”
Reunited in the Rockies Page 17
