We sat at the table in silence that night, quietly eating our dinner. When we finished, Warren stood and walked away, leaving the mess for me. I painstakingly cleaned the dishes, wiped down the counters, and then hobbled over to where we kept the medicine. After taking the pain pills I’d been sent home with today, I made my way to the bedroom.
When I reached our door, the lights were off. Warren was already asleep on his side of the bed. I fumbled through the dark, knowing that if I turned on the lights, I’d have hell to pay. When I caught my toe on the bed, I mashed my lips together to keep from crying out in pain. Night time preparations took twice as long as they should have, but when my body hit the soft mattress, I almost sighed. Being back home was hard, but at least I could sleep in my own bed. If I am being honest though, I don’t know how much longer I can do this.
The idea of leaving has been growing stronger ever since Dr. McGee mentioned it. I need to leave again, only I need to find someone who remembers where I went. I can’t have him finding me again, and I can’t remember how I got there.
Chapter 3
Brooke
It’s been a month since I came home. Not much has changed, but Warren hasn’t physically hurt me. Ever since I came home, he’s kept me on my toes though. I think he’s playing some kind of psychological game now. I spend most of my days watching for him. He leaves in the morning, and I relax. Normally he comes home around six in the evening. I don’t even need to look at the clock anymore. My body has trained itself to be on high alert. Right around five thirty, I can feel all the muscles tightening. Sometimes I even feel sick.
I’m supposed to see Dr. McGee this afternoon for my seven-month checkup. After today, I’ll start going twice a month. I’m both excited and scared to have this baby. I’m worried what Warren might do once the baby’s here, but I’m dying to meet her. Every time I feel her kick, I think about Ava. I wonder what Warren did to her; if she’s ok or remembers me? No one seems to have an answer for me, but I know she was real. She had to be real.
Warren told me he was too busy to take me to the doctor today, so I had to get a cab. It was a short ride, and beautiful outside. Fall was in the air, and the crisp leaves crunched under my feet as I walked. The streets were lined with golds, oranges, and reds, and the sky was a bright blue. I felt like I was in the middle of a storybook as the breeze blew against my face.
ooooooooo
When I reached Dr. McGee’s building, I paused. She said this was the first pregnancy she’s helped me with, but I remembered coming here with Ava. Everything was the same. The building looked the same, even the flowers out front were the same. I rubbed my eyes as I tried to remember anything that would make me feel like I wasn’t going crazy, but the harder I tried, the worse I felt.
The elevator ride was slow and when the doors dinged open, I was met with the familiar smell of the office. I signed in, and took a seat. The TV in the corner was turned down low but I could still hear the weather report predicting an early frost. I wasn’t sitting long, before I was ushered back to a room. The nurse jotted a few things in my file before leaving me there on the paper covered table.
My eyes scanned the room, looking for clues to point out to Dr. McGee. She had to remember the last time. I only saw her a few times, but she was so persistent about me leaving. She had to remember. The harder I looked, the more my head throbbed, warning me to stop.
“Brooke.” Dr. McGee smiled as she entered the room. “How are you today?”
“Ok, I guess.” I shrugged. I honestly didn’t know how I felt. My head still hurt on a regular basis, my ribs did too if I bumped them just right. No one believed me when I talked to them about leaving. “Confused, mainly.”
“Confused how?” Dr. McGee sat down and patted my knee.
“You’re going to think I’m crazy.” I sighed as I glanced out the window at the sun. It was the one constant that I could rely on. It came up, and went down… never changing.
“You suffered a terrible head injury. Memory loss and confusion are normal,” she soothed.
“This isn’t memory loss,” I growled. “I was here. Six years ago. I was here. I had a baby.” My heart began to race as I balled my hands into fists.
“Brooke.” Dr. McGee stood and stepped between me and my sight line.
“No!” I slammed my fists on the exam table. “I know I sound crazy, but I’m not. You helped me.” Tears of frustration welled in my eyes as a vision of Ava’s face floated through my mind. “He had to have taken her.” I sighed.
“Who? Warren?” Dr. McGee’s brow crinkled.
“Who else?” I closed my eyes and shook my head.
“Has he hurt you again?” The urgency in her voice startled me.
“You mean like hit me? No.” I began to pick at my nails.
“I can help you, Brooke. I can help you leave. There are places for women like you. I have friends who work at these places. They’ll keep you and the baby safe.” She fumbled through the pocket of her lab coat until she produced a small white card. “Here.” She handed it to me. “There’s a number on the back. If you want to leave, call that number. We’ll help you.”
It was as if a movie was playing out in front of me. I’ve had this conversation before. It was almost exactly the same. “Don’t you remember this?” I took the card. “You did this the last time I was here.”
“I’ve helped several women over my time working here, Brooke. Sadly, you aren’t the first.” She frowned. “Let’s get you measured, and we’ll set up your next appointment.”
“Fine,” I mumbled. I was done trying to convince her of anything. It wasn’t working, and I was wasting my breath.
oooooooo
After leaving the office, I took a short walk to the coffee shop down the block. I ordered a tea, and sat by the window, people watching. The afternoon was slowly turning to evening, and a chill was beginning to form in the air. I should have gone straight home, but I didn’t. I sat there just thinking. Thinking about my life, how things could be different, how things should be different, what it might be like if I was with someone other than Warren. I let my mind wander as I sipped my tea. I started daydreaming about Officer Blake and Ava. I thought about the house he fixed up for me and the treehouse he built for Ava. I thought about our time living at the beach and on the farm. All the sacrifices I made over the years, and the friends who knew nothing about me. Where were they all, and was it even real?
By the time I finished my tea, the sun was setting. I pulled my coat tighter around me as I walked along the sidewalk. I hailed a cab, and made the short ride home. When I climbed out of the cab, I noticed there were no lights on. Warren’s car was in the drive, but it looked like no one was home. I assumed he was working in his office. I slowly climbed the front steps, fumbled in the dim lighting to get the door open, and then shuffled inside. I set my purse and coat on the edge of the couch, and flicked a light on.
“Where have you been?” his voice growled as he stepped around the corner.
I jumped as my hands flew to my chest. “You startled me.”
“Where have you been?” He stepped closer, causing me to sidestep him.
“I had an appointment, remember?” I caressed my belly.
“Right, for that thing.” He curled his lip in disgust.
“This thing is your daughter.” Tears welled in my eyes as my voice shook. How could he be like this about his own child?
“I’ve been sitting here for an hour. It is way past dinner time. Your appointment was hours ago.” His voice grew louder with each statement. “So, I’m going to ask you again… where have you been?” By this point he’d moved in front of me. I had my back against the closed door, and he was leaning inches from my face. I could smell the whisky on his breath, and it made me feel sick.
“I stopped for tea,” I whimpered. I knew I just needed to be honest. He’d still be mad, but lying made it worse.
“Tea?! You were drinking fucking tea while I’m sitting here waiting
on you?!” he bellowed.
“I’m sorry.” I sobbed. “I’ll fix something right now.” I started to step around him but he grabbed my upper arm.
“You don’t ever make me wait,” he growled next to my ear as his grip tightened painfully. “You hear me?” I nodded, and he released me. “Now get in there and fix my dinner!”
I moved as quickly as my pregnant body would allow. I had taken out some pork chops earlier in the day, and quickly began to heat the oven. I knew that the night wasn’t going to get better for me, but I didn’t want it to get worse.
oooooooo
When I woke up the next morning, something seemed different. Warren was already out of bed. As I made my way downstairs, I could smell coffee. Warren never made coffee, at least not in years. I stepped into the kitchen to be met with someone who couldn’t be my husband. He was standing in front of the stove, cooking eggs. “Good morning.” He glanced at me over his shoulder and then went back to what he was doing.
“Good morning.” My voice shook. Was this some kind of trick? Maybe I really was going crazy.
“There’s coffee if you want some.” He motioned to the coffee maker. I went to reach for a mug, and he stopped me. “Here.” He handed it to me, and I jumped back. What was going on?
“Thanks,” I whispered.
“I have a meeting this morning, but thought I’d fix us some breakfast first.” He plated the eggs and carried them over to the table.
“Thanks.” I slowly sat and stared at the plate. I was afraid to eat them. What if he did something to them? What if this was a trick?
“I know I don’t cook much, but they can’t be that bad.” He shrugged as he scooped a giant bite into his mouth. I watched, wide-eyed, as he slowly chewed and swallowed. “If you don’t want them, I’ll eat them.” He motioned to my untouched plate.
“Oh, I want them.” I stared at my plate. “They were a little hot.” I went with a logical excuse.
We sat there eating in silence as I wracked my brain for why he was doing this. Warren never did anything nice, and this had to mean something else. It couldn’t just be breakfast.
“I have a business dinner scheduled for tonight. I was thinking I could just have it here.” There it was, the catch. “I won’t have to be out late this way.”
“Ok,” I mumbled. I knew I didn’t have a choice. He wasn’t asking, he was telling. By doing this, he was making sure I didn’t leave the house today. It would take me all day to clean everything to his liking, and cook a meal that he approved of. The fact that he dirtied half the stuff in the kitchen to cook eggs insured that I’d be preparing all day.
“Sorry about all the mess.” He smiled, but it wasn’t a smile. It was a warning. “See you tonight.” He wiped his mouth, tossed the napkin on the table, and left me there.
I surveyed the mess as I finished eating. There was a sink full of dishes, and several pots that were dirty. Dirt was tracked in on the floor as if he’d walked around the yard a few times first. The stove had splatters all over it. Warren knew how to pick up after himself, he just always chose not to. Honestly, it wouldn’t bother me so much if I thought it was accidental, but this was done with purpose.
He put on the act of being nice just to draw me in. I let my guard down, and boom, he drops the hammer. By the time I’m ready for tonight, I won’t even be able to enjoy it. I’ll be exhausted, but he’ll force me to smile and play the loving wife as he lies to his clients in our own house.
Today just might be the push that I need, the push to leave.
Chapter 4
Brooke
I’ve been scrubbing this house from top to bottom all day. I’ve had a ham cooking in the oven for most of the afternoon, and I’ve been hoping that this is good enough to get me through the night. Warren has always put on a show in front of our friends, but it’s after it’s all over that things change. The last time he had a business dinner, it ended with a beating. I only hope that this one is different.
It was around five when Warren came home. He was whistling when he stepped through the door. I knew that it was a warning. Whenever he wanted to appear relaxed, he would whistle. You could tell by the pitch if he was angry or satisfied with what he found. I was trying to change into something he’d find presentable, but my nerves held me captive. His heavy footsteps made it easy to tell where he was.
He ambled around the living room, then into the kitchen. I could hear the oven door open and close. His whistling made a sound of approval. He moved to the dining room, then I heard him on the stairs. As he climbed them, my heart raced and my muscles tightened. I stood in front of the full-length mirror, appraising myself. I still had a small bruise on my forehead, but other than that, I looked pretty normal. The soft cotton dress stretched across my belly before hanging loosely to the ground. It was a deep burgundy with a plunging neckline.
“Everyone will be here in an hour.” Warren leaned his shoulder against the door frame to our bedroom.
“Ok.” I nodded. “I’m ready.”
“Good.” It was all he said. He stared at me for a moment, and then walked away. No compliment, no ‘thanks for getting everything ready’, no anything. I don’t know why I expected things to be different, I guess it just hurt that he didn’t care.
oooooooo
Our guests arrived right when Warren said they would. He ushered them into the living room and offered everyone a drink. They sat and talked while I put the finishing touches on dinner. My back ached from bending over, and my feet were swollen from standing all day.
By the time I was bringing everything to the dining room, Warren and our guests were coming in to sit down. He thanked all of them for coming. “It makes things so much easier for us to have the meeting here. Brooke’s pregnancy has been hard, and she needs to be able to rest more. It’s easier on her to be home rather than in a stuffy restaurant.” He smiled at me, and I nodded. I knew I needed to agree with him even though it was a line of bullshit. If they’d gone to a restaurant, he wouldn’t have taken me. He’d have had me stay home and order take out. I never attended these events unless they were in our home.
“Everything smells and looks delicious.” One of the gentlemen smiled at me.
“I can’t believe you did all this, at seven months pregnant no less,” another complimented.
“She does a lot,” Warren grumbled slightly. I could tell it was killing him that they were being nice to me.
I spent most of the evening just sitting there trying not to yawn. Yawning meant boredom to Warren, and I wasn’t allowed to be bored. The small group chatted about business and a few suggestions on which way the company should go. I wasn’t really listening, and didn’t care.
It was late when they left. I could barely keep my eyes open, but I knew I had to. Warren walked our guests to the front door to say his goodbyes. They waved to me, and thanked me for the delicious dinner before disappearing into the darkness.
I smiled before heading for the stairs. “Where are you going?” Warren demanded.
“To change.” I motioned to my dress. It was a comfortable dress, but it was still a dress. I wanted to take off the heels and put on pjs and slippers.
“The dining room is a mess, and so is the kitchen.” He pointed in the direction of the table that was still cluttered with dirty dishes.
“I can get that in a moment. I’d like to get comfortable first,” I begged.
“You can get it now!” He stormed over to stand in front of me. “I expect messes to be cleaned after they’re made, not later,” he barked as he reached up and grabbed my hair right at the base of my head. “When I ask for something to be done, it needs to be done now, not later.” He forced me to walk with him into the dining room. “Now, clean this up!” He all but tossed me towards the table before turning to storm out of the room. “I swear, I don’t understand why you can’t fucking listen to me,” he grumbled as he walked away.
My shoulders shook as I attempted to hold back the tears. My feet ached
, and as I slowly slipped the heels off, they sighed in relief. I wiped my forehead with the back of my hand as I stood, braced my back as I stretched, and then lifted a stack of plates to carry them into the kitchen. I flipped the water on before going back to the dining room. I wanted to make quick work of the mess, but knew it would take me at least an hour.
As I shuffled along, I let my mind wander. Could I really do this? What would my life be like trying to keep up with Warren’s demands and a new baby?
“Brooke!?” his voice held a warning as he called from somewhere down the hallway, his office I assumed.
“Yes?” I tried to sound sweet as the bile rose in my throat. I knew deep down that he wasn’t finished inflicting his pain for the night.
“We have to pay for water you know?” It was more of a growl now.
“I’m sorry. I needed it to warm up,” I stammered. I didn’t want to piss him off, but I was also mad. He wasn’t going to help, but he was upset with my methods. What I wanted to say was, ‘why don’t you come help then?’ but I knew that would only cause me more pain. “I’ll turn it off,” was all that came out.
I finished washing the dishes, wiped down the counters, and then began the trek upstairs. I flipped light switches off as I passed, and when I came to his office, I saw it was already dark. This could be good or bad. Warren may already be in bed, but if he wasn’t asleep it could mean a long night for me.
I slowly climbed the stairs, stopping every few steps to rest. When I reached the top, I could see a light glowing in our room. My shoulders sagged with the realization that he was awake. So much for a quiet night. I lifted my chin as I stepped over the threshold.
“What took you so long?” he demanded as he rose from where he was perched on the edge of the bed.
“I’m sorry. The kitchen was a mess. It took me longer than I planned,” I murmured as I shuffled over to the closet. I began to slip off my dress, but Warren had other plans.
Enduring Act (The Survivor's duet Book 2) Page 2
