“I think we better go before it starts coming down too hard. I don’t want Ava to get too cold either.” He tucked the blanket tighter around my sleeping daughter before standing and helping me up.
After walking us to the car, he ran back to grab the blankets and supplies. He smiled when he jumped in the driver’s seat, and began our trek home. We didn’t say anything. We just enjoyed being there together. It was like we knew what the other was thinking without needing the words. It was scary for me, but I knew deep down that Blake was someone worth taking a chance on. He was the one I’d been waiting for. I endured the pain to find him.
Chapter 17
Brooke
I spent most of yesterday analyzing everything that had happened at the beach with Blake. I went over it piece by piece, moment by moment, overthinking and judging everything. Did I say something wrong? Do something wrong? Did he mean what he said? Why hadn’t I heard anything from him?
When I woke up this morning, the ground was covered in white. It looked beautiful outside, and I marveled at the scene from my window. Donna had left early to make sure she had time to get to work, and so had most of the girls. Ava had been sleeping better, and I felt like I actually got a good night’s sleep from the night before with the exception of my brain constantly thinking about Blake. He’d left for a mid-day shift once he dropped me off, and I haven’t seen or heard anything since. That fact alone is causing me to worry. The questions play on repeat in my head, and it seems that every time I start to feel better, they start back up again.
“Wanna get an up-close view?” Lauren called from my doorway.
“Up-close?” I stared at her blankly.
“Like go outside.” She laughed. “You could put Ava in that carry thing, and we could walk the block. Just a thought.” She turned to walk away, but I stopped her.
“Sure. Give me a few minutes.” I glanced down at my leggings and then Ava’s sleeper. I was still figuring out this whole ‘how to dress the baby’ thing. I grabbed the snow suit Donna had given me for Ava, and began putting it on her. She seemed to think it was a game. I’d pull one leg through, and while I was working on getting the second leg through, Ava would pull the first one back out. “What are you doing, silly girl?” I tickled her belly.
She laughed and flailed her arms and legs, causing the other leg to come out of the suit. “We’re never going to get outside if you keep that up.” I started over at least three times before I managed to get both legs to stay in, then I moved onto the arms, and that was just as difficult.
After getting Ava ready, I grabbed a pair of sweatpants to put on over my leggings. I’d always worn layers at home, so now shouldn’t be any different. I pulled a hoodie on, and then grabbed my coat. As I made my way out to the living room with Ava, I felt like a penguin waddling. Lauren was sitting on the couch with her coat on.
“Want some help?” She stood and took the baby sling from me.
“Yes. It took me forever to get her in that thing.” I sighed. Lauren strapped the sling around me, and held it in place while I threaded Ava’s legs through.
“I think we’re good.” She smiled as she gave it a little tug to see if it was secure. “Let’s go before we change our minds.” She opened the door, and I knew what she meant in that exact moment.
As the door opened, we were blasted with freezing air. The temperature must have dropped at least twenty degrees since I was on the beach. “Crap! This is cold.” I shivered as I held Ava closer. She was snuggled against me, and already sleeping.
“She doesn’t seem too bothered by it.” Lauren laughed as she pointed at Ava.
We made our way down the stairs and turned to walk along the sidewalk. It was a standard city block, and people were out shoveling the sidewalk. I had boots on, so the snow didn’t really bother me.
“How was your date yesterday?” Lauren nudged my shoulder.
“Is that what this is? You wanna know about Blake?” I stopped and faced her.
Lauren giggled. “We all do. We’ve all met Dr. Blake at the hospital. He’s never come to visit any of us, just you.” She pointed at me.
“He took me to the beach. We had breakfast. That was it.” I nibbled my lip nervously. I didn’t want to talk about this. I didn’t want to be house gossip.
“That’s it? Are you two dating now?” I had sped up, and now she was matching my pace.
“I don’t know. I’m not really ready to talk about it,” I muttered.
“Fine, but I want to be the first to know.” Lauren smiled as we turned the corner. We walked quietly together just watching the snow fall. It was like a Christmas card. Businesses were starting to decorate for the holidays, kids were building snowmen, and people were clearing their steps and porches. I’d almost forgotten where I was, I was so lost in the scenery.
“We need to move faster, Brooke.” Lauren put her arm around me and started guiding me up the sidewalk.
“I don’t want to slip. What’s wrong?” I started looking around, but Lauren was blocking my view.
“Just trust me,” she hissed. I forced us to stop moving before I stepped away from her to look around. It was then that I saw him. Right across the street and standing at the crosswalk, was Warren. His head was covered in a black beanie and he was wearing a long, dark wool coat. His eyes bore into mine as the ‘don’t walk’ sign changed to ‘walk’. As I stood there rooted to my spot, Warren’s long legs began to eat up the pavement. Lauren tugged at my arm, but it was like I was frozen in place. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t make myself do anything but wait. All the therapy I’d been going to had still not broken Warren’s training. He’d always told me running was worse. If I ran from him, my punishment would be worse. I’d trained myself to stand still when I saw him; to not move, and in this moment my body was doing just that. “Come on.” Lauren pulled again, but I didn’t budge.
She stayed there with me, I don’t know why, until Warren made it to our side of the crosswalk. He gave me a disapproving smile as his eyes scanned over me. “I thought I taught you better. I can’t believe you came outside dressed like that,” he scoffed as my eyes went downcast. I knew better than to look him in the eyes.
“You’re not supposed to be here,” I mumbled.
“I can be wherever I want.” He sneered as his arm raised toward me.
I stepped back, and instinctively wrapped my arms around Ava. “You can’t be here,” I mumbled again. I glanced at Lauren and noticed she had her phone out and was furiously typing a text.
“You need to leave,” she growled at Warren. “I’ve called the police. They’ll be here any minute.”
“This is none of your concern,” he snapped at her before redirecting his attention to me. “You’ve turned into quite the little slut lately, haven’t you? Prancing around with that doctor. You think he sees anything different than I do? You’re stupider than I thought. He sees a pair of legs, that’s it.” Warren threw his head back and laughed. “He’s in for a rude awakening if he thinks that he’s getting in there. Hell, I couldn’t get there without force. I don’t know what you’re trying to prove with all this,” he waved his arms around, “but you’re fooling yourself if you think you’ll make it. You’ll be on my steps begging me to take you back in a few months. You’re too dumb to survive on your own.”
As I stood there in shock, letting his words hit their mark, he turned and almost jogged down the block. It was then that I looked up to see flashing lights of a patrol car rounding the corner. Lauren stepped closer, and attempted to put her arm around me. “Let’s go back,” she murmured, but I shook her off.
“You go back. I need to stay.” The snow was falling heavier at this point and I was freezing, but Warren’s words were all I could think about. Was he right about Blake? Was Blake using me? Would he want me if he knew all the things Warren did?
“Everything ok?” Cal’s voice broke me out of my trance as he stepped from his patrol car by the curb.
“I think she’s in shock.�
� Lauren’s eyes went from me to Cal.
“I got it.” Cal moved closer. “You head back. I’ll make sure she gets back ok.” Lauren nodded and started walking briskly the rest of the way around the block. “Brooke?” He held his hand out as he approached. It was then that I realized I was just standing there in the middle of the sidewalk, not moving.
“No.” I shook my head. “I don’t think I can do this,” I murmured.
“Do what?” Cal moved me toward his car.
“Live…love…survive?” I shrugged as if all those things were suddenly a question.
“Yes, you can. Don’t let him get to you. He’s trying to break you. You’re stronger than that. I know you.” Cal carefully put me in the car. “I’m gonna drive you home.” He climbed in and maneuvered us around to the house.
After helping me up the front steps, he pulled out a form. “I need you to sign this.” He handed it over.
“What is it?” I stared at the black and white print in front of me.
“You’re pressing charges. He violated the OP, that means you can press charges. Since it’s only the second time, I don’t know what they’ll do, but if he keeps doing it he can be locked up.” I blindly signed the paper, just going through the motions of being told what to do. “I’m going to check on you after my shift.” Cal folded the paper and put it back in his pocket.
“Ok.” I waved him off, turned, and trudged up to my room. Ava was still sleeping against me, and I felt like I needed a nap too. How had this day gone so bad, so fast?
Chapter 18
Brooke
I don’t know how long I slept, it felt like most of the day. When I woke up, it was starting to get dark. The sun was setting, and the snow had stopped falling. “You plan on joining us for dinner?” Donna knocked softly on my door.
“Yeah.” I yawned as I sat up. I glanced over at where Ava was lying in her bed. She was awake, but happy. I lifted her up, and smiled as she kicked her feet. “You’re a happy girl, aren’t you?” Ava blinked a few times as her mouth curved into a smile. “We’ll be there as soon as I change her.” I glanced at Donna as I laid Ava on the bed.
“Ok. See you in a few.” Donna turned and left. She hadn’t said much since Cal brought me back, and I’ve been keeping to myself most of the day.
I tickled Ava’s belly as I unsnapped her onesie, carefully going through the steps of changing her. After snapping her back up, I grabbed a clean bottle and made my way to the kitchen.
Donna and Amy were bustling about, bringing food to the table. Lauren had gone to work, and the others weren’t home yet. “Anything I can help with?” I murmured as I began scooping formula into the bottle.
“I think we’ve just about got it. Go ahead and feed her, and then we’ll join you.” Amy smiled.
I carried Ava into the dining room and sat down. As much as I wanted to be my usual self, I felt like I was just going through the motions. I was numb, plain and simple. One run in with Warren and I was back to where I’d been months before. How was I ever going to change if I couldn’t get past something like this?
oooooooo
Blake
I’d worked a double shift today so I could have tomorrow off. I’d been wanting to spend the day with Brooke. Christmas was just around the corner, and I knew Donna didn’t have a tree yet. I asked Dan, the head of my department, if I could switch shifts with him. I hated the doubles, but it meant I could take Brooke out tree shopping.
I was just walking to my car when my brother came jogging up the sidewalk. His hat was pulled down over his ears, and his breath was coming out in puffs as if he’d been running. “Hang on!” He threw his hands in the air to stop me. I froze where I was, and let my shoulders sag. I was tired. I needed sleep, and talking to him was the last thing I wanted to do. When he caught up to me, he bent over and placed his hands on his thighs. “Did she tell you?” he puffed.
“Who? Tell me what?” I wiped my palm down my face.
“Brooke.” He gave me a duh look. “That asshole ex approached her today.”
“What?” I turned to face him, fists clenched at my sides.
“She went for a walk with one of the other girls, and he crossed the street and cornered her. Luckily her friend called the police,” Cal growled.
“I haven’t heard anything from her since we went to the beach. I was trying to give her time. After the kiss…” I trailed off.
“Wait! You kissed her?” His head whipped around, and he blinked a few times.
“Yeah. It was nothing big; I mean for her it probably was, but it was one kiss. Wait. Tell me more about having to come save her. Did he touch her?” I started pacing the sidewalk. It was freezing out, but I wasn’t feeling the cold at the moment.
“No, at least I don’t think so. She had the baby with her. By the time I got there, they were just standing there. He was saying something that made her uncomfortable. The look on her face said she was terrified. He wasn’t touching her in any way, but he had total control over her. I think she would have gone with him if I wasn’t there. It was like she was on autopilot.” Cal sighed. “I’ve seen this before. Some are so broken they have a hard time making decisions and thinking for themselves.”
“I gotta go.” I started running toward my car. The wind whipped around me, cutting through my scrubs as if they were made of cheese cloth.
After scraping the ice off the windshield, I cranked the engine and tapped my foot, waiting for the heat to kick in. As my seat warmed, I relaxed slightly and carefully pulled out of my parking space. I probably should have driven a little slower, but the anger boiling in my gut wouldn’t let me.
ooooooooo
It didn’t take long to get to Emily’s House, and I parked right on the street out front. The porch was only lit by a single light, and the steps were shoveled off. I jogged up, and knocked on the door with more force than I should have.
“Just a minute,” came a voice from somewhere inside. Amy’s head peeked out around the door. “Oh, hey.” She opened the door wider. “Come in. It’s freezing out there.” She stepped back and let me pass.
As I stepped inside, I knocked my shoes on the threshold to bang off as much snow as possible. “Is Brooke here?” I glanced around.
“She’s in her room.” Amy motioned to the hallway. Donna was sitting in a chair reading, and smiled slightly as I made my way toward the hall.
“She’s not herself tonight,” Donna warned.
“Thanks.” I waved her off. I was half angry and half concerned. Why hadn’t she called me? Why was I finding this out from my brother?
oooooooo
“Brooke?” I knocked on the half-closed door. I knew Ava would be in there, and I wasn’t sure if she was sleeping. “It’s Blake.” I waited for an answer, but nothing came. “I’m coming in,” I warned as I pushed the door open. As the door slowly creaked open, Brooke’s still form appeared on the bed. Ava was in her crib cooing at the mobile spinning above her. “Brooke?” I tried again as I stepped over the threshold. “Cal told me what happened.” The closer I moved to her, the more the anger I was feeling dissipated. I was more hurt now than anything. “Brooke?” She still wouldn’t acknowledge me as I carefully lowered myself onto the edge of her bed. There were no lights on in the room. The only light was coming from the street lights and the moon. Her face glistened in the street light from where tears had tracked down her cheeks.
“Brooke?” I placed my palm on her shoulder. “Talk to me,” I begged.
“Why?” It was the first word to fall from her lips, and as much as I knew whatever she was about to say would hurt, I couldn’t stop begging her to open up. “I’m broken, and hopeless, and not worth whatever this is.” She flicked her hand between us before rolling away from me.
“That’s not true,” I whispered. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I slipped out of my coat, and tossed it toward a chair in the corner. I toed off my boots and then scooted closer to her. “You are not broken. He didn’t break you. You
’re strong. You’re stronger than you’ll ever know.”
“Sure, I am,” she muttered. “You’re wasting your time with me.” Her voice choked up as she curled into a tighter ball.
“No, I’m not. You’re a great person, Brooke, and a great mom. He can’t hurt you anymore.” I moved closer and attempted to pull her toward me. I just wanted to wrap her in my arms at this point.
I glanced over, and noticed Ava had fallen asleep. “I don’t want to wake Ava, but I want to hold you. I think you need that, and I think you need to let out whatever you’re holding in right now.” I moved closer, and laid down beside her. “Brooke?” I tugged her shoulders and this time she rolled toward me. Her tearstained face was shadowed by the darkness, but I could see the pain and uncertainty. “Come here.” I opened my arms, and she collapsed on my chest. Her face nuzzled into the crook of my neck, and her arms curled against my chest. Her body shuddered as her tears came back.
“I don’t know how to do this,” she whimpered as I stroked her back.
“Every day is a learning experience, and I’ll do whatever I can to help you. He took years to do this to you. You can’t expect to fix it in just a few weeks. It’s gonna take time.” I tightened my grip as she struggled to get closer.
“Please don’t let go.” Her voice sounded as if she was begging.
“I won’t. I won’t ever let go,” I promised, and it was the first time that all this felt real. I knew there was something here, but I don’t think I realized it went as deep as it does until this moment.
I laid there for hours, staring at the ceiling of her room while she slept against me. Ava never woke up, and Brooke seemed to finally get some peace. I think I might have drifted off sometime after midnight. I don’t really know. I do know that it was one of the best night’s sleep I’ve gotten in a long time.
Enduring Act (The Survivor's duet Book 2) Page 10
