At worst, she had hoped that reading the advertisements would remind Carolyn that there were many men out there—eligible, kind, well-meaning men—who would happily ask for her hand in marriage. And at best, Meg had prayed that perhaps her best friend might take one of them up on their offer.
It had been two years since Benjamin Mews had perished, leaving his young bride Carolyn widowed and penniless. In those two years, Meg had watched the color and vibrancy slowly fade from Carolyn’s life.
The married couple had enjoyed a life of modest luxury among the upper class of New York City, constructed entirely on Mr. Mews’s aspirational wealth. His wealth was ‘aspirational’ because, unlike the prestigious businessmen and tycoons that populated the most elite pockets of the city, Benjamin hadn’t earned his fortune yet. Rather, he had peddled his dreams and ambitions, securing investments and loans that he used to gold-plate the ladder he climbed to the top.
Benjamin’s currency was his swift tongue and cunning influence, and he used that currency to afford the couple a lifestyle well beyond their monetary means.
It wasn’t until Benjamin’s death that Carolyn learned of her husband’s extensive debts. Every piece of the life they had built together seemed to belong to someone else—their home, their belongings. And once Ben had died and his influence had ended abruptly, those to whom he was indebted were swift in their intent to collect.
Much like a child’s puzzle, the life Benjamin had built was comprised of tiny pieces. And when those pieces were reclaimed by their rightful owners, Carolyn was left with little more than nothing.
“We must be careful with the china,” Carolyn noted grimly, gripping her dainty fingers around the handle of her teacup as she brought it gingerly to her lips and took a careful sip of hot tea.
“Oh, Carolyn, not the china,” Meg said sadly, understanding at once what her friend meant.
For the last two years, Carolyn had been slowly selling off what scarce possessions she had left after repaying Ben’s debts. Meg had watched her friend sell the items she once coveted and cherished. Now, those same items were luxuries that had little place or purpose in Carolyn’s new life of simplicity and modest means.
First the silverware had gone, then the expensive paintings and sculptures that had once decorated their home. Then the furniture, and the jewelry…
Carolyn’s new disposition of hardship had taught the woman to prioritize, to value food and a roof over her head over fancy things. But all of the practical intentions in the world couldn’t remove the sentimental trappings of the possessions that Carolyn held dearest to her heart.
Her collection of beautiful gowns, for example, was particularly difficult to part with. And when a pair of men came to claim the piano that Benjamin had given to her as a wedding gift, she was quite ashamed to admit that she had spent an entire day tearfully mourning the loss.
Carolyn had managed to sustain herself on slowly selling off the remnants from her former life, in addition to finding work for herself as a cleaner. It was humiliating, cleaning the homes of people that she and Benjamin once knew as equals. Unfortunately, those friendships hadn’t survived after Ben’s death. And when Carolyn came to clean their homes, they looked upon her as a stranger.
“You can’t sell the china,” Meg pleaded, admiring the white and blue pattern on the porcelain tea saucer that rested on the table before her.
“I don’t see what choice I have,” Carolyn said sadly. “What good is china to me, if I can’t afford tea to drink from it?”
Meg wished that she could help her friend, but unfortunately her situation was hardly any better. Unlike Carolyn, Meg had never known a life any different than poverty and hunger. The women had struck a friendship when Meg was hired as a maid to clean the Mews home. At the time, Carolyn had been a wealthy and dignified wife. Meg hadn’t expected the woman to forge a friendship with her, but even in wealth, Carolyn had looked upon all people as equals. She and Meg had become great friends. And when Carolyn lost Ben and most of her material possessions, Meg had remained.
But Meg knew that Carolyn couldn’t survive like this, she couldn’t carry on selling off her possessions to afford bread or morsels of marrow discarded by the butcher. And so that was why Meg had suggested the Matrimonial Times.
“You can be married again,” Meg had reasoned the first time she suggested that Carolyn find herself a husband in the newspaper full of advertisements. “You can be happy… truly happy.”
Carolyn had been reluctant, but Meg had kept coaxing. And, after a great deal of effort, Carolyn had finally softened to the idea.
Unfortunately, convincing Carolyn to open her heart and have a bit of faith had been the easy part. It seemed that worthy husbands weren’t as easy to find as Meg had hoped. And even though the Matrimonial Times was filled with the advertisements of hopeful men seeking brides to join them out west, it was becoming fast apparent that a very select few were actually worthy of Carolyn’s consideration.
Meg reached for the newspaper and unfurled the pages, passing her eyes hopefully over the newsprint with renewed scrutiny.
“It’s no use,” Carolyn said sadly from across the table, sipping up the last remnants of tea from her cup, then using a towel to dab away the lingering drop of moisture pooled in the bottom and wipe the china clean. She held it carefully in both hands, with the caution of knowing that it already belonged to someone else.
“Look here!” Meg said suddenly, rising from the table and hurrying around so that she could crouch by Carolyn’s side. She shook the paper open and stretched it taut, pointing to an advertisement in the bottom corner. It was so small that it had gone overlooked by both women in their first pass through the paper.
Noticing it now for the first time, Carolyn fixed her eyes upon it—more out of loyalty to Meg than anything else—and dutifully read aloud, “California cowboy has herded stampeding cattle and wild mustangs, but the one creature that has proven elusive to the capture of his lasso is a bride. Now hoping to requite the loyalty and affection of a loving wife. Open-minded applicants contact Bailey Thomas of Calico Junction, California.”
“He sounds perfect!” Meg chimed.
“He sounds like a character out of a book,” Carolyn remarked skeptically. The life that the suitor described—one of cattle stampedes and wild mustangs and lassos and cowboys—was completely foreign to her. And besides the pages of storybooks and newspapers, the world of the wild west was exactly that: foreign.
But she couldn’t dismiss the fact that her heart had begun to race a little faster when she read the advertisement, or that her stomach was suddenly fluttering with excitement and curiosity.
She wasn’t entirely sure why, but Carolyn Mews found herself feeling something that she hadn’t felt in a long time.
She felt… hopeful.
THREE
New Haven, Connecticut
April
Carolyn took a deep breath, trying her best to calm the wild flurry of nerves that twisted through the confines of her chest as she approached the Claridge family home in New Haven, Connecticut.
The house was exactly as she remembered: tall, red brick lined, lush green ivy, black gas lamps that burned even during the daylight hours, and a grassy lawn that remained manicured year-round. These characteristics were all consistent with the people who inhabited the home, Mr. and Mrs. Claridge. Or, as Carolyn knew them, Mother and Father.
Carolyn had grown up in this house. Her childhood hadn’t been particularly happy or particularly troubled, it had simply been. In the absence of love or affection, the Claridges had provided their only child with material comforts: fine dress, education, tutors, and books…
As a child and young woman, Carolyn had never learned to want for things or knowledge, as these desires were always placated. Instead, she had grown to crave the things her parents hadn’t given her, namely love.
Carolyn believed that she had finally found love when she met Benjamin Mews. Unfortunately, her parents h
ad disapproved of Mr. Mews before they even had a chance to meet the man.
The Claridges intended for their daughter to marry someone of wealth and stature. They sought a groom who, much like their daughter, had been born clutching a silver spoon. Benjamin, with his hollow fortune of wishes and dreams, didn’t satisfy their expectations. He had been born into poverty, and his feeble promises of hard work and earned wealth were unsatisfactory to the Claridges.
Carolyn had been determined to marry Benjamin regardless of what her parents said. She believed in him, and when he promised that he would make something of himself in New York City, she had trusted that he meant what he said. So, she had defied her parents’ orders and agreed to marry him.
Her marriage to Mr. Mews had severed her relationship with her parents, and she hadn’t spoken to them since. When Benjamin died and Carolyn learned the truth about his debts, she couldn’t stand the shame of facing her parents. Even though she didn’t consider her marriage to Benjamin a failure, she knew that in her parents’ eyes, it was exactly that. And she would rather starve and struggle to fend for herself than resort to disparaging her deceased husband’s memory in exchange for her parents’ pity.
For over two years, Carolyn had done all in her power to avoid her parents. There had been cold winter nights and long, hungry weeks where she had pondered the temptation of giving up and going home to Connecticut, but she had always resisted.
But now, she found herself standing where she never thought she’d be again: in front of the Claridge family home, gazing up at the tall, imposing brick building as memories from her childhood gripped her heart and filled her with unease.
She hadn’t come to the house in New Haven to solicit help or sympathy, though. And she hadn’t come to make amends or beg for forgiveness, either.
She had come with one intention, and one intention only: to say goodbye.
And so, remembering her intention, Carolyn took another deep breath and forced herself forward along the stone path that lead to the front door.
The housekeeper recognized Carolyn at once, and abandoned procedure to greet her warmly with a familiar hug. Even as a child, Carolyn had always understood that money alone couldn’t buy the affection or goodwill of the servants in her parents’ employ.
Though she grew up watching her parents disregard the servants and treat them as little more than hired help, Carolyn always made an effort to establish friendships. In time, the housekeepers and maids that worked in the Claridge home felt more like family than her own parents did. And as Carolyn returned the housekeeper’s hug, she suspected that it was a far warmer greeting than she would receive from her mother or father.
The housekeeper brought Carolyn to the parlor, then went to fetch the Claridges while she waited.
The house hadn’t changed much at all since Carolyn had last resided there, and she noted the comforts and luxuries that she had lived without for so long—the soft velvet furniture, the warm fire burning in the hearth, the gas lamps that were always lit, the art that decorated the papered walls—
“Carolyn,” a voice interrupted her thoughts, and she turned to see her father step into the room. Mrs. Claridge followed close behind.
“Father,” Carolyn rose from her seat and curtsied, as she had been taught to do in finishing school. Then, turning to Mrs. Claridge, “Mother.”
“We’ve been informed of Mr. Mews’s passing,” Mr. Claridge said gruffly as he and his wife took a seat on the sofa without embracing their daughter. Then, in a tone that Carolyn found utterly unbelievable, he added, “Our condolences.”
Carolyn sighed bitterly. Ben had died over two years ago. Their condolences were two years too late. But, she reminded herself, she wasn’t here to dredge up bitterness or memories of the past… She was here because of her future. And her future was Bailey Thomas.
Carolyn could still recall the last time she sat in this parlor—on this very spot on the velvet sofa—to tell her parents that she had met a man whom she intended to marry. Telling her parents about Ben had filled her with nerves, and she felt that same tension swiftly return as she took a measured breath and wet her lips.
Before she could begin, her father imposed, “We needn’t waste a minute longer pretending that we don’t already know the pretenses of your visit,” he said firmly.
Carolyn was speechless.
“To be honest,” Mrs. Claridge spoke next, “your father and I have been expecting you. We assumed that pride would keep you at bay for a while, but we knew you’d eventually return.”
Carolyn gulped. Her parents thought she was here for their pity. They assumed she had come to beg for their aid.
“That’s not why I came,” Carolyn said, trying to hold back the bitterness.
“No?” now it was Mrs. Claridge who appeared disbelieving. “Then to what do we owe the honor of your company, pray tell?”
“I’ve come to share good news,” Carolyn said. Anger replaced unease, and she felt the words form easily now.
“Go on,” Mr. Claridge said impatiently.
“I’ve met someone,” Carolyn said. “His name is Bailey Thomas. He asked for my hand in marriage, and I’ve accepted.”
“Preposterous!” Mr. Claridge grunted, his face immediately reddening with rage—the same hue that had colored his cheeks when he learned that Carolyn intended to marry Mr. Mews.
“Oh, Carolyn!” Mrs. Claridge fretted, “You can’t be serious!”
“I am, Mother.”
“Did you learn nothing from your past mistake?” Mr. Claridge bellowed, the anger practically pouring from his moistened lips.
Carolyn winced. Though she had long made peace with the events of Benjamin’s life and death, it still hurt to hear her previous marriage branded as a mistake. She had always believed that there had been plenty of good that came from her brief union with Benjamin. After all, it had been Ben who rescued her from a joyless life in Connecticut. And it had been Ben who made her believe that love was more than a formality or invention talked about in fairy tales.
In fact, in some strange way that Carolyn couldn’t quite understand, it was her marriage to Ben that gave her the hope that she might find love again, that she might one day be happy.
“It wasn’t a mistake, Father,” Carolyn said quietly.
“Benjamin Mews was nothing more than an imposter and a fraud!” Mr. Claridge cried. “You brought shame to this family by marrying him!”
“He was a decent man,” Carolyn said. “And if he hadn’t been so desperate to win your approval through wealth and senseless opulence, then perhaps he wouldn’t have landed in such financial ruin.”
Those words were a truth she had never spoken aloud before, but once the words were free from her mouth, Carolyn felt as though a great weight had been purged from her shoulders. The secret of her past life with Benjamin had been a heavy load to carry… but she imagined that it was far lighter than the grudge her parents continued to live with.
“Who is this Bailey?” Mr. Claridge demanded. “Another scheming fraudster, I presume?”
“He’s a good and honest man,” Carolyn said. “He owns a seven-hundred acre ranch in California, and he—”
“He’s common,” Mr. Claridge said.
“He works hard,” Carolyn countered. “He doesn’t possess a single thing he hasn’t earned.”
Mrs. Claridge found her voice again, and asked, “If this suitor is from California, how did you meet?”
“He posted an advertisement seeking a bride in the Matrimonial Times,” Carolyn said. “I answered, and we’ve been exchanging letters ever since.”
She hadn’t felt ashamed of that truth until now, until she saw the judgment cross her mother’s soft features.
“Oh, Carolyn…” Mrs. Claridge moaned, making little effort to conceal the disapproval in her face.
“He’ll never have my blessing,” Mr. Claridge said gruffly.
“I haven’t come to ask for it,” Carolyn retorted swiftly. She had never s
tood up to her father before. Even when her actions defied his will, she had never dared to speak sharply to him. But now, things were different.
Carolyn wasn’t a child anymore. She had learned a lot in the two years that she was on her own. Taking care of herself had taught her about true integrity and the value of hard work and personal ethics. She was a changed woman, and through new eyes, she could see all that was wrong about the life of comforts and selfish luxuries to which she had so long been accustomed.
“I’ve asked the Lord for wisdom,” Carolyn said, “and He opened my heart and my eyes to Bailey Thomas. Now I’m putting my trust in the Lord. His is the only blessing that I need.”
And with that, the conversation was over. As Carolyn departed from the brick house in Connecticut for the last time, it became apparent that there was only one thing that she and her parents would ever agree upon… that they would never agree.
FOUR
Calico Junction, California
May
“For what it’s worth, I think you look wonderful!” Josephine said kindly, admiring Carolyn with her wide-set green eyes.
Carolyn sighed wistfully, lowering her gaze and turning her attention back to the faint stain on her bodice. She had spent the last hour carefully dabbing at the stain with a solution comprised of water and soap, but her efforts had been to no avail. The stain wouldn’t budge.
“I’m sure he won’t notice a thing!” said Alice, turning around in her seat to stare back at Carolyn’s dress and offer a reassuring smile.
“Thank you both,” Carolyn said gratefully, looking up at the two young women. Days ago, they had been strangers, but now she considered them close friends.
Like Carolyn, Josephine and Alice were both aspiring brides that had found suitors in the Matrimonial Times. Like Carolyn, Josephine and Alice had both received paid-in-full passage to the west. And like Carolyn, Josephine and Alice were both anxiously awaiting their arrival in California, where they would meet their grooms for the first time.
New Beginnings Spring 20 Book Box Set Page 11
