by Joss Wood
“I’m an EMT.” Seeing the quick flash of surprise in his eyes, she blurted out a question and immediately regretted letting the words fly. “You didn’t, just once, ask my brothers where I was, what I was doing?”
“You bailed on me, bailed on the life we planned, so I didn’t feel the need to keep up with yours,” Levi shot back. So that was a no then.
“Sit down, say what you want to say and then leave.”
His casual order, and his expectation that he would be instantly obeyed, annoyed her. Unless she was at work being paid to take orders, she took umbrage at being told what to do.
Tanna took her time walking to a wingback chair, crossing her legs, making herself comfortable. Levi placed his plate on the arm of his own chair and picked up his sandwich. “Talk. Make it quick.”
Tanna stared down at her hands. She’d imagined this meeting so often, had practiced what to say, but now those carefully crafted words wouldn’t come. Seeing Levi’s impatience building, she forced them across her tongue. “I didn’t leave you at the altar, but it was close.”
“You left straight after the rehearsal dinner. A scant twenty-four hours before,” Levi said, dumping his hardly touched sandwich back onto the plate and putting it on the table. Tanna forced herself to meet his eyes, a deep blue that defied description. Sometimes they were cobalt, sometimes ink. Sometimes, like now, they held more than a touch of ice.
“I should not have left without talking to you, without a goodbye. Without an explanation.”
“No argument from me.”
“Levi, from the time we got engaged, I had my doubt—”
“Did I ask you for an explanation? Do I want one? I have a one-word answer...no.”
Well, okay then. Tanna wasn’t sure what came next, so she sat quietly, wondering how quickly he’d ask her to leave. The words were on his lips; she could see them hovering there. She needed to speak before he kicked her out.
“I was wrong, and I should’ve had the courage to face you, to explain. It was easier to run, to leave you that letter.”
“Yeah, after watching you fight to recover from your injuries, watching you learn to walk again, I was surprised by your lack of bravery. And decency.”
Ouch. Tanna felt the knife in her back, felt it turn. But she couldn’t argue with his statement. How she wished she could tell him the truth. That she couldn’t talk to him face-to-face before she left because if she had, she knew he would have brushed off her fears as prewedding jitters. He would’ve dismissed her concerns, persuaded her they were doing the right thing, and she would have listened. Then she’d have been miserable. And furious with herself for not standing up to him.
“My mom canceled the wedding, called everyone and returned the presents. Christmas was pretty crap that year.” Levi’s words drove the knife in deeper and harder. “But we did make headlines, day after day, week after week. All of us—me, my parents, your brothers and my sisters—lived with the press following us everywhere, shoving cameras into our faces, demanding an explanation, a comment, something. Yeah, best Christmas ever.”
Tanna winced. She’d asked about the press attention but Carrick told her not to worry about it and she hadn’t. Because she’d been trying to find a new life, a new normal, she’d done as he suggested.
“Maybe one day you will let me explain...”
“Don’t hold your breath,” Levi told her, his expression reminding her of the Bering Sea in the dead of winter.
Tanna nodded and rubbed her damp hands on her thighs. “Well, I am sorry. I wish there was something I could do to make it up to you.”
Levi stared at her and she could see his agile mind working, spinning a hundred miles a minute. He was cooking up something and Tanna looked at the media room door, her inner oh-no radar telling her to leave, now. Whatever Levi was going to say next was going to flip her life on its head.
“Carrick said you are in town for six weeks. Is that right?”
She was due to go back to work on March 1. “Give or take,” Tanna replied, wondering where he was going with this.
Levi’s smile was full of sarcasm. “You say you want to make it up to me?”
Yeah, and she’d meant it, kind of. She’d meant it in an it’s-the-right-thing-to-say way, not in an I’ll-do-anything-to-make-it-up-to-you way.
“Uh...what do you have in mind?”
Levi picked up his coffee mug again and looked at her over the rim. “It pains me to admit this but it’s become abundantly clear I need help. I’m mobile but walking hurts like hell—”
“It should if you broke your patella.”
“The cast I can handle. It’s annoying but manageable. But I can’t hobble around because using the crutches hurts like hell. So, it would help to have a runner, a gopher. Someone at my beck and call. Someone I don’t mind ordering around—” Levi bared his teeth “—because she owes me.”
Oh, crap. She’d walked right into that one.
Three
Damn right, she owed him.
Tanna owed him for walking out on their engagement, from running away from their wedding, leaving behind the life they’d planned. He didn’t care about the hours he’d spent by her bedside, holding her while she cried—from pain and from frustration—
Those were his choices and he lived by them.
But it had been her choice to say yes to his proposal, to agree to a Christmas wedding, to say yes when she really meant no.
The weeks and months after their nonwedding had been hell on so many different levels. He’d shrugged off the embarrassment factor and ignored the subtle comments about his young bride’s flight, the fake sympathy in the eyes of people who cared more about gossip than they did about him. He’d hated the media attention for making him, as intensely private as his father was extroverted, a public spectacle.
And he never gave the money he spent on the wedding another thought.
But Tanna damn well owed him for encouraging him to take a chance on her when he knew how risky taking chances could be.
She owed him for the sleepless nights he’d spent questioning his own judgment, for making him think asking her to marry her wasn’t a smart decision. For the months and years he’d spent second-guessing himself. For whipping the entire situation out of his control...
She.
Owed.
Him.
And yeah, he could freely admit he really wanted to sleep with her, still. Maybe more now than he ever had before. A decade had transformed her from an eager-to-please girl into a fully confident woman and he didn’t feel the need to rein in his responses, to choose his words.
Tanna could give as good as she got.
And, hey, she was stunning and he was injured, not dead.
Levi rubbed his hand over his face, conscious of his throbbing shoulder, leg and, yeah, cock. In the past, he’d never allowed their physical interactions to go much beyond a couple of light kisses. It wasn’t that he didn’t desire her; he’d been twenty-four years old and a vibrating hormone, and she’d been a beautiful, striking girl.
But she’d also been broken, and every time he’d wanted to take their physical relationship deeper, he remembered her pinned to that crumpled car seat, her green eyes wide with shock and pain, her thin voice asking him if she was going to die. He clearly recalled telling her not to look at Addy, sitting in the driver’s seat, slumped over the wheel, bloody and unresponsive.
During the weeks and months following that god-awful night, he’d found himself falling deeper and deeper, entranced by Tanna’s fierce courage. He’d loved her, craved her and promised himself he wouldn’t push her for a physical relationship. He was a big guy, he outweighed her by a hundred pounds and a part of him was terrified he’d inadvertently do something to hamper her recovery. So, he’d pushed down his desire and banked his lust. Things would change when she left the hospit
al...
But they hadn’t. When she was finally discharged, sporting his ring, she asked for more time, to delay intimacy until they were married.
In hindsight, that was a pretty big clue all was not well.
Tanna wasn’t weak now, or fragile. And the lust he’d felt for her back then was a baby version of the hot, needy, roiling emotion coursing through his system today. She was toned, healthy, vibrant and he knew she could handle him...
Physically, emotionally, mentally.
Unlike a decade ago, she was whole. And strong. And challenging. And, God knew, he could never resist a challenge.
Payback wouldn’t be a bitch, it would be a delight. Revenge would be supersweet.
Levi watched as she tried to find a way to say no, to wiggle out of her obligation. She opened her mouth and the lame excuse he expected failed to materialize. Instead, she posed a question. “How long will it take me to work off my debt?”
“Is that a yes?”
“No, it’s a question,” Tanna replied. “How long?”
As soon as he could use his crutches, he’d be able to fend for himself, to move about. But he still wouldn’t be able to drive. And he needed to get to his businesses—his marinas, the shipyard and the extensive corporate interests he ran on behalf of the Brogan Family Trust. Yes, he could take time off work for as long as he wanted. Hell, he could retire tomorrow if he wanted to. But he didn’t want to do that. Work kept him sane and by staying involved, he kept control and control was essential to his peace of mind.
“I’m not allowed to put any weight on my leg for six to eight weeks,” Levi replied. “I need someone on call for another two weeks, part-time for at least another four weeks after that.”
“Your sisters and mom aren’t prepared to help you?” Tanna asked, looking for an escape.
“Of course they are, but I like them. I don’t see why they should have to put up with my foul mood when you can.”
“Because I owe you,” Tanna said, sounding miserable.
Yep, she did. And also because he couldn’t imagine her walking out of his life again until he knew every inch of her luscious body.
Because he wanted revenge, a little payback.
And her.
Remember that, Brogan. Sex and revenge were the only two reasons he was pushing her to stay.
Levi looked at her again and swallowed, wondering why his mouth was so dry. His heart was also slamming against his rib cage—a pissed-off prisoner demanding release—and his stomach was joining in the rebellion.
What the hell was wrong with him?
So much. He was sore, he was horny and he was, not that he’d ever admit this to anyone, a little scared. Nobody had ever affected him the way Tanna Murphy did.
Damn.
Right, enough BS, Brogan. Get your head on straight.
He was attracted to Tanna. This grown-up version of the girl he’d loved was as sexy as hell.
It was okay, normal even, to be a little carried away thinking about how she’d feel, naked and soft, and so intensely feminine, in his arms. But sex was all he’d take from her, all he had to give her. He wasn’t fool enough to give her more. Not again.
“I don’t think so, Levi.” Tanna shook her head. “It’s really not a good idea and I don’t see why I should give up my...vacation time to be at your beck and call.”
Why had she hesitated when she said vacation? Why did he suspect a vacation was not the reason she was back in Boston? And why did it matter? All he needed was for her to be around...
“I’m not asking you to glue yourself to my side, Tanna. I just need you to move in here, to help with some meals, to drive me to work and back.”
“You are not nearly ready to go back to work,” Tanna told him, her tone as bossy as hell. Levi raised his eyebrows at her assertiveness.
“But I will be, soon. I heal fast,” Levi retorted, not willing to get into an argument about something that wasn’t going to happen today, or even tomorrow. “Anyway, as I was saying, I need you for a couple of hours a day, to be on call if I need you. The rest of the time will be your own.”
“Good of you.”
Levi refused to let her see his quick smile. Assertive and sarcastic. Better and better. And he was glad. If Tanna was the same timid, eager-to-please girl she’d been, he probably wouldn’t be making this offer, wouldn’t be half as interested in that version as he was in this.
At twenty-four he’d been happy to have his ego stroked; at thirty-four he liked women who pushed back, who weren’t afraid to speak their minds.
He was surrounded by strong, gutsy, opinionated women and if he ever came to the point of considering another relationship—an exceedingly remote possibility—he wanted someone who could stand on her own two feet, who was prepared to make her own mistakes and live with them.
Being the voice of reason when his dad’s ambition outstripped his common sense, Levi couldn’t remember a time when he hadn’t felt responsible for protecting his mom and sisters. When his dad died, Levi oversaw the sale of Brogan LLC and he personally managed the billions in the family trust.
He did, he admitted, have a strong rescue gene. But his mom and sisters were perfectly able to look after themselves and while they were happy for him to manage their family money, he’d been told, repeatedly, he didn’t need to worry about their emotional well-being.
They had their own alpha men doing enough hovering, thank you very much.
He still felt protective of them; he probably always would. But he was smart enough not to tell them that. But they were his blood, a part of his psyche. Tanna—or any other woman—did not warrant that much of his soul. It hurt far too much when they handed it back to him, battered and bruised.
God, enough with the melodrama, Brogan.
This was a straight-up deal. He needed someone. Tanna owed him, and while he’d never be verbally abusive to her or any other woman, with her he wouldn’t have to pretend he wasn’t in pain, frustrated or pissed off. He could just be because, dammit, there was nothing she could do to hurt him again.
“A couple of meals, a couple of rides, a little light housekeeping, that’s all I need you for.” Levi shifted in his seat and pain barreled through him, digging its claws into his body, and it took everything he had not to allow her to see how weak and miserable it made him feel. He’d been vulnerable once with her. He’d never allow her to look beneath his surface again.
A tiny frown appeared between her eyebrows. “You’re in pain.”
Dammit, what had happened to his impenetrable mask? Not wanting to give her an inch, he made a sound he hoped sounded like a scoff. “Please.”
“God save me from stubborn men,” Tanna muttered.
“I’m fine, Murphy.” Such a lie.
Dropping his head back, Levi fought to keep his eyes open, cursing himself for feeling so tired. Sometimes he managed to ignore the pain and drift off and he felt this might be one of those times. His battered body needed sleep to recover but he didn’t want to fall asleep now, not in front of Tanna. If he did, she’d leave and he might never see her again.
He wouldn’t get any payback if she did that.
Levi forced his eyes open and gripped her wrist. “Will you be here when I wake up?”
Tanna shook her head. “Probably not.”
Disappointment, hot and sour, rocketed through him. Why did he care? She meant nothing to him, not anymore.
Tanna didn’t try to pull her wrist from his grip and her skin was so soft, so smooth. He thought he heard her sigh and her voice, when she spoke, came from a long way away. “I have things to do. I need to talk to my brothers, explain what I’ll be doing here. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”
“Promise?”
“Yeah. Sleep now, Levi.”
Levi hoped, for the first time in a decade, he’d see her again
. But only because, he sternly reminded himself as he drifted off, he needed help and she owed him.
And because he really, really, really wanted to see her naked.
* * *
Like that other famous auction house on the other side of the pond, Murphy’s boasted a canvas portico in front of its main entrance with Murphy International written in white across the bloodred canvas. It was simple, effective and attractive, and Tanna felt the familiar kick of pride as she stared up at the letters spelling her surname.
Her great-grandfather started the company, passed it on to her grandfather, then to her father and now her brothers were running the world-famous auction house with satellite offices across the world.
She was the only Murphy who’d ever stepped away, who was working in a completely different field.
The thought made her sad.
Tanna jammed her hands into the pockets of her coat, conscious of her heart beating out of her chest. Just like always, she’d planned to avoid Murphy’s, but she needed to talk to Carrick and he was, if she remembered correctly, leaving for Tokyo shortly. She needed to tell him she was moving out of the Beacon Hill house, moving in with Levi...
But only to help him, of course.
She definitely could not tell her brother she hoped, as insane as it sounded, that somehow, some way, she and Levi would finally get naked and she’d find out what making love with her ex-fiancé felt like.
She’d spent many nights imagining the way his hands would feel on her skin, how strong and hard he’d be when he pushed into her, filling up those empty and desperate spaces no man had ever managed to fill.
She needed to know because, honestly, her sexual education was incomplete.
She and Levi were done, over, their time had passed...
But, not having slept with him, Tanna was convinced there was a puzzle piece missing, like she’d never quite seen the complete picture. Like she’d never read the last chapter in a sad but compelling story.
