by Joss Wood
“Does it have something to do with your job? Why are you taking a six-week break? And don’t tell me it’s a vacation. I’m not buying that.”
He didn’t understand; spending time with him and at Murphy’s was a vacation...
She’d loved every minute she’d spent talking art and design and jewelry. When she went back to London, she’d be faced with injury and death, making quick, hard decisions in an instant. Work wasn’t fun, but it was good, necessary.
“What part of ‘I’m fine’ don’t you understand, Brogan?” Tanna demanded, annoyed. She made a show of glancing at her watch. “I’m going to shower and get changed—”
“Why won’t you talk about your job? About why you are really here in Boston?”
More questions, Brogan?
Aargh, she didn’t have time for this. And no, she didn’t want to explain that, ten years after her accident, all the trauma she’d experienced then was rushing back to torment her again. She’d had counseling sessions; she’d thought she’d dealt with this emotional mess.
But the flashbacks and panic attacks were from the PTSD. Her therapist had told her that unresolved issues were lingering deep inside her. Those were the issues she’d come to Boston to face.
Reining in her impatience, she made herself smile. “I don’t talk about my job because most people don’t want to hear about broken bones and heart attacks.”
And because every time she thought about returning to her position at HART, her stomach clenched and her throat tightened. It was ridiculous; she was stronger than this. Not returning to London wasn’t an option. She would not let this beat her.
The muscle in Levi’s jaw ticked and Tanna knew he was trying to understand. She waited for him to resume speaking and when he did, he surprised her with his next question. “Do you enjoy being a paramedic?”
Tanna looked at him, shocked. Of course, she did. She hadn’t studied long and hard for the fun of it. “Yes, of course.”
Levi didn’t look convinced. “Tell me something you love about your job, something that gives you a kick every time you do it.” He held up a hand. “And don’t say when I save a life. That’s too easy.”
Saving a life had been the first thing that popped into her head. “I don’t understand what you’re getting at.”
Levi tapped his index finger against the wooden tabletop. “Okay, let me give you an example. It’s a little silly but when a yacht leaves the marina, I immediately check the visitor’s book to see what they said about their stay. I get some damn good reviews and it gives me a kick. That’s one of my many little joys. Tell me one of yours.”
Tanna looked at him, askance. Crap, she couldn’t remember any of the little joys. Her job was filled with lots of downtime punctuated by sessions of intense concentration and craziness. She’d always been consumed by the feeling she was doing something worthwhile, something important, so she never stopped to notice the joys. She only noticed the successes, and that was decidedly different...
“Can’t answer, huh? Okay, then answer me this...”
Tanna forced herself to meet his eyes and they drilled through her, pinning her to the floor. His expression, and his tone, reflected the seriousness of his question.
“Do you actually like what you do, Murphy? Did you ever?”
She couldn’t answer him; the question was too big and too direct and too honest. She didn’t want to continue this conversation because if Levi pushed her to dig, to question her own motivations, she might not like her answers.
Besides, it didn’t matter whether she enjoyed her job or not, it was what she had to do in order to live with herself, to live with the guilt of Addy’s death.
It was way past time to shut this down... They weren’t supposed to be talking, anyway.
Gathering her courage, she walked around the table and dragged her mouth across his lips, pulling back to see the desire flash in his eyes. She kissed him again, allowing her tongue to slide into his mouth. Levi immediately reached for her and dragged her onto his lap, her legs straddling his hips and his erection settling between her thighs.
Tanna deepened the kiss, grateful men were so easily distracted.
Levi took control of their kiss and soon Tanna had forgotten his question, sinking into his hard body, entranced by his strength and captivated by his kisses. Levi had the ability to pull her into another dimension, a world where nothing existed but their passion and need to make each other feel as good as possible.
They didn’t need to talk, they just needed to touch.
Then Levi put his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her away. Tanna looked at him through passion-fogged eyes and wondered why he’d stopped.
Levi ran his thumb over her bottom lip. “I know you were trying to distract me but I’m not a kid anymore. You didn’t answer my question, Murphy.”
And she wouldn’t. Frustrated and a little annoyed at being called out, she climbed off Levi’s strong thighs and sent him a cool smile. “I’m going to shower and then I’m going into the city. I’ll see you when I see you.”
“You are so damn frustrating,” Levi told her as she walked away.
Since she had to live with herself, his statement wasn’t even news.
* * *
“Mrs. Talbot.” Tanna held out her hand to the matriarch of Boston society, her blood so blue it was almost purple, and dropped a kiss on each of her leathery cheeks. “I haven’t seen you since I was a child.”
Mrs. Frieda Talbot, as old as God, looked at Tanna with eyes that had lived a million lives. “I remember you wearing pigtails, sitting in the corner of Carrick’s office while we conducted business.”
Frieda was one of Murphy’s oldest and wealthiest clients, owning both extensive art and jewelry collections. Addicted to spending money, she received an invitation to every function and auction Murphy’s held.
“It’s so lovely to see you. Do you have an eye on anything special?” Tanna asked her.
“I rather fancy the flower purse, circa 1930. I think the estimate is a bit high at five hundred dollars.”
Tanna smiled, remembering Frieda had once purchased a Willem de Kooning for more than three million dollars. Frieda liked what she liked and was always looking for a bargain.
“I hope you get it,” Tanna told her sincerely. “And at a satisfactory price.”
Frieda seemed pleased by her statement and, her attention caught by an old friend, abruptly left Tanna. Tanna grinned and turned at the light tap on her shoulder.
Pulling a polite smile onto her face—everybody present wanted to talk to her about her mom’s dresses or her mom or fashion in general—Tanna turned and her smile widened in genuine pleasure.
“Sadie, it’s so nice to see you. I love your dress.”
In fact, with its white bodice and short skirt trimmed with flowers, it looked a lot like the Christian Dior in the sale.
“It’s a cheap knockoff,” Sadie admitted. “I found it in a little boutique in Paris. The owner slash designer takes her inspiration from the sixties.”
“You look wonderful.”
“You do too,” Sadie replied. “I’ve loved every dress you’ve worn tonight but this one is simply sensational.”
Tanna couldn’t help it; she looked across the room to where Levi stood by the bar, leaning on his crutches and talking to Finn. When she looked down at the ivory crepe, she remembered stepping out of it in the dance studio at the Beacon Hill house, being naked while Levi was still fully dressed.
This dress made her hot...
Oh, Lord, who was she kidding? Levi made her hot. All the freakin’ time.
Tanna accepted a martini from a passing waiter and tossed a large portion of the drink down her throat, thinking she’d never had so much sex in her life...
And every single time, Levi made it magical. Even with his limited movement.
God help her if she ever got to make love to him when he was fully mobile. She might not survive.
But she’d be long gone before that happened. She had to keep her eye on her goal, on what she needed to do. Her plan was to get healthy and return to her job.
Playing house with Levi wasn’t her real life. That had been a teenager’s dream and it had been a long time since she’d been a teenager, or a dreamer. Tanna looked at Sadie’s flower ring, thinking that leaving Levi, again, was going to be hard, possibly even harder than before. Because, while she knew she had to go back to her job and her life in London, she’d enjoyed playing house with her ex-fiancé. It had given her a taste of how her life could’ve been had she taken the easy route and married Levi.
And, dammit, a huge part of her felt a little sick about all she’d missed out on with him. The years of sharing his home and his bed, loving and laughing and fighting and making up.
But, had she married Levi, her life, their lives, would’ve been tainted by her guilt, by her what-ifs and her should haves. How would she have been able to live such a wonderful life when Addy had been stripped of hers?
And if Tanna got a little carried away, thinking she could easily fall in love with Levi again—had she even stopped loving him?—she still wasn’t entitled to live a fairy-tale life.
No, she had to pay for the choices she’d made. And she was paying, dammit.
She was just taking a little time out, having a few weeks of fun and a lot of great sex. In a few weeks, she’d return to her real, gritty, emotionally draining job and her quiet life in London. But for now, yeah, she was going to enjoy the hell out of Levi Brogan.
“Wow, that was a hell of a side trip,” Sadie said, smiling. “I want some of whatever put that faraway look in your eyes.”
Tanna just smiled, wishing she and Sadie were good enough friends that she could share the truth, that she was overdosing on great sex. Her eyes darted to Levi and he almost immediately turned his head, and their eyes clashed and connected. Even though they were at opposite ends of the room, she could feel the intensity of his gaze, and knew exactly what he was thinking...
Your dress is coming off, sooner rather than later.
Levi jerked his head in a subtle come-here movement and Tanna, liking the adventurous light in his eyes, excused herself from Sadie.
Instead of waiting for her, Levi headed to the door and quickly—man, he could move on those crutches—disappeared through the door leading from the cocktail lounge into the hallway.
Despite trying to dodge people wanting to talk to her, Tanna greeted Murphy’s clients, exchanged kisses and hugs, and kept the conversations super short. But it was still more than ten minutes before she slipped out the door into the hallway of the hotel and Levi was nowhere to be seen. Needing a minute to catch her breath, she walked toward the elevators, looking for the ladies’ room. Seeing the discreet sign, she headed to the end of the hall, holding her long skirt off the carpet.
She was a few yards from the restroom when a door to her right opened and a strong arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her up against a hard chest.
Levi’s mouth covered hers as he stepped back, and she dimly heard the door slam behind him.
Pulling her mouth off his, she noticed they were in a small lounge, perfect for a two-person meeting. Levi leaned against the door and reached behind him to flip the lock.
Oh, God, she’d heard about people who sneaked away from functions for a little naughtiness, but like joining the mile-high club, she’d never expected it to happen to her. Judging by the very hard erection tenting Levi’s pants, however, that was exactly what was going to happen.
She was so on board.
“Have I told you how sexy you look tonight? How much I love this dress?” Levi demanded, his lips on her bare shoulder.
No, but since he’d made love to her before leaving the house, carefully removing the dress, she’d gotten the message.
“I freaking love this dress.”
Tanna laughed. “I got the hint.” She looped her arms around his neck and crossed her wrists behind his head. “I was hoping you’d do this.”
“Make out with you in an empty room in the middle of a cocktail party?” Levi asked, his tongue tracing the cord in her neck.
Tanna shivered and pushed her fingers into his soft hair. “Yeah. It’s...hot,” Tanna admitted, blushing. Levi had the ability to make her rocket from zero to about-to-come in ten seconds flat. “Whenever we are together, I feel like I’m permanently connected to an electrical socket.”
Levi lifted his head and his thumb rubbed her lower lip. “Is that a good or bad thing?”
“You know it’s a good thing, Lee,” Tanna whispered. In fact, everything about him was, well, pretty damn wonderful. No matter what limits he’d tried to place on their conversations, in between making love they talked, and unlike before, they connected on the same intellectual wavelength. There was a balance now...
“Do you want me to touch you?” Levi asked her, his voice rough with need.
He always asked for permission and never assumed he had the right to make love to her. Tanna knew it was his way of keeping an emotional distance between them, a certain barrier.
Levi was still waiting for an answer and Tanna nodded. “Please touch me, Lee. Make love to me, here. Now. Immediately.”
“I want to, you know I do, but you’re in the public eye tonight and if I do, everyone—including your brothers—will know what we did.” Levi held her nape, his thumb stroking her jaw. “I’m not going to embarrass you like that, babe.”
“Aargh.” Tanna dropped her forehead to rest it on Levi’s collarbone. “So, why did you haul me in here, then?”
“Because I couldn’t stand being across the room and not being able to hold you, kiss you. Acting like we are just platonic friends is killing me,” Levi responded. “And if your brothers find out we’ve hooked up, they will kill me. Though I think Carrick suspects something is going on.”
“It has nothing to do with them,” Tanna told him, instantly annoyed. Her life, her body, her choice...
“Yeah, trust me, that’s not the way brothers work, babe.” Levi tipped her face up and his lips touched hers in a kiss as sweet as it was sexy. “Need you, Tan. Again. It’s too much, isn’t it?”
Tanna agreed. It really was. But she’d take this type of too much.
Holding Levi’s face in her hands, her mouth softened under his, and their kiss was languid, lovely, soft and liquid. Passion was there, underneath the sweet, but was banked, and they both knew if they allowed it to run rampant, they’d lose control. So Tanna matched his pace, their tongues tangling softly, their hands moving lightly across each other’s bodies. Tanna sighed as his hand slid inside the triangle covering her right breast, his fingers flickering over her nipple, barely touching her but stunningly sexy.
She groaned into his mouth, wanting to take it deeper, harder, but Levi shook his head. “Got to go slow, babe. Got to keep this light.”
Right, cocktail party, people outside, appearances to keep up.
Levi’s hand skimmed over her hip, down her thigh and under the high slit of her dress, his hand disappearing under the flowing folds. She sucked in her breath when his fingers found the edge of her panties and she immediately undid his tuxedo jacket, looking for the snap on his pants.
Levi’s strong hand covered hers. “Nope. This isn’t about me.”
What? Her hand stilled, wanting to stroke the large bulge beneath her hand. “But...”
“Slow, sexy and only one of us is going to come. And guess what?” Levi whispered against her lips.
“What?”
“It isn’t going to be me.”
His words were barely out of his mouth when his fingers pulled down her flesh-colored panties and sank into her folds. Like before, his touch was gentle, soft, and Tanna couldn’t
believe how turned on she was. He’d just need to flick her, a couple of strokes and she’d be flying.
How? How did he do this?
“Do you want to get off, Tan? Right here, right now? As gently as hell and twice as sexy?”
He didn’t need to do anything, he just needed to rumble words against her skin, and she was already there. “Please, Lee.”
Levi took her mouth again and his tongue echoed the soft, gentle movements of his fingers as they slid inside her. Only Levi could touch her like this, could make her churn and yearn...
Tanna felt herself building, climbing, pleasure—this time a soft, gentle wave as opposed to a passion-driven tsunami—washing over her.
Tanna pushed down on his fingers and he curled them into her, hitting a special spot she hadn’t known existed until Levi taught her it was there. He also ran his thumb over that little bundle of nerves. It was all too much and Tanna stilled, pulled her mouth from Levi’s, her entire body focused on what he was doing between her legs.
The wave rose, heated her from the inside out, and she tumbled, falling, spinning, rolling...
All the colors of a spectacular coral reef exploded in her brain and she slapped her hand against Levi’s chest, hoping he’d realize she couldn’t stand, that she could hardly breathe.
Nothing else, besides what he was doing to her, mattered. Levi banded his other arm around her, held her steady as he pushed her to reach for more, to own her pleasure, to fall into it. She came again, screamed softly and disintegrated in his arms.
* * *
Tanna had no idea how long it took her to fall back into reality, a place she didn’t want to return to, but she had to return when Levi pulled his hand away. Then his strong arms cuddled her close and she could feel his nose in her hair, his lips against her temple.
“God, Tanna. You’re so damn beautiful.”
Tanna closed her eyes and let his words wash over her.
“Why do I have to be so damn addicted you?”
Dammit, how the hell was she going to walk away from him, from this again? She’d done it once, but back then she hadn’t known the power of his touch, how utterly satisfied she felt standing in his arms. Oh, not just because he gave her amazing orgasms, but because he saw her.
