HERO: An Unfit Hero Novel

by Faiman, Hayley

  My body yearns to stay back, to stay wrapped in his muscular arms. My head is smarter than that though, my head knows that nothing good could come from seeing the disappointment in his eyes when he realizes exactly who and what I am.

  It seems like I walk for hours, especially with how uncomfortable these shoes are. A truck’s roar comes up behind me, I see the shadow of the headlights and I hold my breath.

  “Please, don’t let me die tonight,” I whisper.

  “Exeter,” a deep voice shouts over the loud engine.

  My entire body freezes and I slowly turn around. Much to my horror, it’s him, it’s Wyatt, and he is pissed if the glower on his face is anything to go by.

  “Wyatt…” I say, my voice trailing off.

  He jumps out of the truck and stomps toward me. In the headlight’s glow, I can see that his hair is a mussed up mess, his clothes are wrinkled and askew and he’s wearing his boots with his jeans tucked into them.

  “Don’t Wyatt me, what the fuck is wrong with you?” he shouts.

  My body jerks, my eyes lifting to meet his angry gaze. He places his hands on his hips and I watch as he spits into the dirt next to his feet.

  “No. I don’t want to know. You’re just going to say something fucked up,” he grunts.

  “Excuse me?” I breathe.

  He shakes his head, his eyes finding mine. “You snuck out of my bed. You’re walking around in the dead of night, alone, in the middle of fucking nowhere. So, I’m assuming you’ve got some fucked up shit happening inside of your head, because no woman with half a sense would be doing what you’re doin’ right now.”

  “You’re a dick,” I point out.

  He jerks his head. “Yeah,” he says, lifting his brows as if this isn’t anything new. “Get the fuck in the truck.”

  I cross my arms over my chest. “No,” I say, stomping my foot a little for extra effect.

  He shakes his head once. “Get the fuck in the truck. I’ll take you to your car, safely,” he orders.

  Pressing my lips together, I bite the corner of my bottom lip and think about his offer. I really don’t want to walk, he’s right, it’s not really safe. Although I don’t know of anything nefarious happening in this little town, that doesn’t mean that it couldn’t, or hasn’t.

  “Okay,” I whisper.

  “Fucking great.”

  Without another word, he turns and walks over to his side of the truck, jumping inside. He doesn’t help me in like he did just hours ago. I guess after he’s fucked you, all sense of gentleman chivalry goes out the window. Good to know.

  Silently, he drives me toward my car. Once he’s in front of the bar, he pulls up to the back of my car, the only car left in the lot. He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t even put his truck into park.

  I climb out of the passenger side, looking up at his beautiful profile, trying to memorize it, because I know I’ll never have anything so clean and good again in my life.

  “Bye,” I whisper.

  He doesn’t speak. The only way I know he’s heard me is the sight of the tick in his cheek. Closing the truck door, I quietly walk over to my car and slide inside. I start the engine, and only when I’ve shifted my car into reverse does his truck leave the parking area.

  His taillights disappear into the dark night and my entire body feels like my breath has been stolen. I’ve just lost the dream of what could have been, and that really sucks.

  Chapter Three

  WYATT

  Work is what I need. Work will keep my mind off of all things Exeter. Yesterday was a fucking nightmare. I spent all fucking day in bed, smelling her scent on my sheets. I didn’t want her to walk away from me.

  Stupidly, I thought that we would wake up in bed together, fuck again, then get some breakfast. Once again, my imagination and my desires got the better of me. I shouldn’t have thought of her as anything more than a fuck from the bar.

  A one-night stand without the possibility for more. Honest to fuck, I don’t think that I’ll ever have more. I’ll never have what my cousin, Rylan, and his woman have.

  I’ll never have a family.

  My phone rings and I groan at the sight on the screen. It’s Mama. She always calls me when I’m on my way to work on Monday mornings. Rylan is waiting for me at his place, so I quickly answer.

  “You haven’t been over to dinner lately,” she scolds as her greeting.

  “Been busy, Mama,” I lie.

  She hums, knowing my words are a complete fucking lie. “I want to meet Rylan’s woman, and see my nephew again, it’s been far too long.”

  I think about taking them over to my parents for a family dinner and shake my head. They got enough shit on their plates without adding more.

  Channing is pregnant, the baby daddy is a fucking prick who won’t stop hassling her, along with his bitch wife. Rylan is barely hanging on a thread. His fall from sobriety scared the shit out of me a couple of weeks ago, and I don’t think a cozy family dinner would help him at all.

  “Soon,” I try to stall.

  She gives me a disapproving hum of her own but thankfully doesn’t push me. “How about next Sunday? I’ll come on over,” I murmur.

  The last thing I want to do is go over to my parents’. Not that I don’t love them, because I do. It’s just every time I go to their house it turns into a marriage intervention. They just want me to be happy, I know, but at this point, I doubt I’ll ever find someone of my own.

  Pulling in front of Channing’s duplex, I honk once to signal to Rylan that I’m here. “Okay,” Mama sighs. “I’ll make your favorite, you best come,” she demands.

  “Yes, ma’am, I will,” I agree. She ends the call with an, I love you, then Rylan’s door swings open and he jumps inside.

  “What’s up your ass?” he asks as I shift the truck into drive.

  I grunt, not willing to get into the conversation that would ensue if I told him about my Saturday night with Exeter. He’s had his own drama to deal with. His own issues with Channing, with his family, with his demons. I have no desire to bother him with my shit, too.

  After the weeks away from home during the last hurricane, I needed to let off steam, I needed to do something and that’s how I came across her. I shouldn’t have taken her home. I shouldn’t have let her go.

  “Since you won’t tell me, can we make a stop at Walmart on the way home?” he asks.

  I let out a sigh, lifting one of my hands from the steering wheel and sliding my fingers through my hair.

  “Yeah,” I grunt.

  Rylan grins at me from the passenger seat. I don’t even have to face him head on to know that his smile is fucking blinding. I’m glad for it, he deserves all of the happiness on this earth. I just wish that I didn’t have to witness it quite so damn often.

  The yard comes into view and I pull my truck to the side, next to the other guy’s vehicles. Shifting the truck in park, I also realize that this is the last week we’ll be working together, and I’m sure that is part of the reason for my sour mood too.

  Walking over to my crew, I lift my chin at my foreman when I arrive.

  “You ready for today?” he asks.

  “How many poles do we gotta set?”

  “We need six holes dug and then we’ll set these six framed poles, I’d like to get to ten, but let’s go for six,” he states.

  “Fuck, yeah, let’s dig ‘em and set ‘em,” I grunt.

  We load up, me and Rylan in my bucket, the foreman in his truck, and then the class-B lineman in his. The job site is about thirty minutes away, so we head toward it in a convoy, the foreman leading the way in his pickup truck.

  It’s going to be a busy day, but that’s exactly what I need to keep my mind off of the woman that has been consuming my thoughts every second since I met her. I bite the inside of my cheek, trying not to imagine her curvy body naked and on display for me. Inhaling a deep breath, I try to forget the way she smelled, the way her dark hair felt between my fingers.

&nb
sp; Fuck.

  I need to get laid again. I need to fuck Exeter off of my mind.

  “You don’t wanna tell me, that’s cool, cousin. Just sayin’ you can talk to me if you want. I won’t call you a pussy assed bitch or nothin’,” Rylan drawls.

  Turning my head quickly, my eyes narrow on his. He is smiling at me, a shit-eating grin on his face, the fucker is trying to goad me.

  “Fuck you,” I snarl.

  “Thanks, but got someone to do that for me and I ain’t in to incest,” he chuckles.

  I can’t help myself, a laugh of my own bubbles out of my throat. “You’re a fucker,” I say between laughs.

  “At least I got that awful fucking scowl off your face,” he points out.

  I sigh, deciding to push Exeter from my mind. I can’t have any distractions when I’m thirty-four feet in the air with nothing but my bucket truck and the truck stabilizing outriggers as my anchor.

  I have to be on my A-game, especially when working with electricity, one fuck up and you die, at the minimum, you blow your fucking arm off.

  EXETER

  MawMaw watches me. I love my grandma, I always have. Her home was my saving grace when I turned sixteen. The day of my abortion, I ran here for comfort, for love and support. MawMaw took one look at me and refused to allow me to go back home to my father—if you can call him that.

  My mother was MawMaw’s daughter, she died when I was just a little girl, unfortunately, that left me alone with the man who made me, the abusive man. A whole family of perverts, born and bred into a life of disgust.

  My cousin Emily and I have borne the brunt of their depravity. I was lucky to get out when I did, Emily wasn’t and she’s suffered mentally for it over the years.

  Even now as she moves toward adulthood, including her relationship with a man two times her age in town, a man who happens to be MawMaw’s next door neighbor, Jacob. A man that I think abuses her in much of the same ways her own father has.

  “Where’s Emily?” I ask as I wipe off the countertop.

  There are breadcrumbs from breakfast toast littering the cheap Formica.

  MawMaw lifts her hand, waving me off. “That girl is wild, she was throwin’ a hissy fit about me askin’ her to take me to the store,” she sighs.

  Emily’s been living with me the past year but spends so much time over here that this is her second home, especially if I’m working a late shift. If she’s not home, then she’s here and more lately than not, she’s next door.

  “She still stayin’ out late, runnin’ around town?” I chance asking.

  MawMaw shakes her head. “Fool girl. If only I could keep her here. She’s eighteen now, I know she ain’t right, child.”

  I close my eyes for a brief moment. No, Emily is assuredly not right. I can see all of the signs. She’s more withdrawn than she’s ever been, and though I haven’t told MawMaw about Jacob, I’ve seen evidence of his abuse of her body. Bruises that she tries to hide, and she’s lost a considerable amount of weight. I just don’t know how to help her.

  I’ve finally got her away from her daddy, the day she turned eighteen I moved her in with me, but I don’t work regular hours and I can’t keep watch of her all times of the day and night. Plus, she’s eighteen, almost nineteen, I couldn’t keep ahold of her even if I wanted to. All I can do is be there for her, just be there.

  “You need to go to the grocers?” I ask, changing the subject.

  “I’m fixin’ to make gumbo for church this weekend,” she announces as her explanation.

  “Well come on, now. I’ll take you,” I smile.

  MawMaw stands to her feet, then she makes her way toward me and I hold my breath when she reaches out. She tucks a piece of my dark hair behind my ear, her eyes kind and soft as she looks down at me.

  “You’re a good girl, Exeter. You girls didn’t deserve the lives you were dealt, but darlin’ child, you’ve really come out on top. I just wish you’d see your worth.” She smiles.

  Her words fill my chest, almost to bursting, and I wish that I could take them in and believe them the way that she desperately wants me to. I want to believe that I’m good, that I’ve come out on top, but my sins weigh too heavily on my shoulders. I will never be forgiven for the acts that I’ve committed.

  “You ready for the store?” I ask brightly, refusing to respond to her words.

  She shakes her head, obviously annoyed with me. That’s okay, I don’t mind being annoying, especially when it comes to avoidance.

  I leave the house, heading down the walkway to start the car and get the AC running when I catch a glimpse of Emily walking up the side of Jacob’s house. Deciding that I need to speak to her, to at least try to talk her out of going inside, unknowing of what truly waits for her on the other side of his door, but knowing, deep in my bones that whatever it is, it’s really bad.

  “Emily,” I hiss.

  She stops, turning around to face me and I grimace at the sight of obvious fingertip bruises around her slim neck. Her eyes are what scare me the most, they’re completely dead.

  Though, I know her father killed the light in them years ago, just as mine did. Just weeks ago there was still a little shine left deep down inside of her, but that’s completely extinguished and my heart aches at the thought.

  “Come home, don’t go,” I quietly beg.

  She shakes her head a couple of times, then looks behind her at the house before she brings her gaze back to mine. “He is the best thing I’ve ever had,” she states flatly.

  “You don’t know what a good man is, Emily. Come to counseling with me, get some help,” I plead.

  I’ve been going to a counselor for the past two years, I’m not sure if it’s doing anything for me. My guilt hasn’t lessened, and I’ve yet to ever find myself feeling anything but disgusting. I’ve also not allowed myself to even think about getting into a real relationship.

  “You wouldn’t know what to do with a good man if one fell on top of you,” she snorts.

  I don’t call her on her observation. I had one right in front of me, a big gigantic clean and good man, and I ran. I didn’t run because I thought that I deserved better, the exact opposite, I know that I didn’t deserve anything about him, not even the epic orgasm he gave me.

  “This isn’t about me,” I point out.

  She shakes her head, her defiance in full swing. She’s so young, and I wish that I could get through to her, but I also know that there is nothing I can do until she’s ready for help. She has to want more for herself, for her future. Until that time, I will be here, waiting and hoping that she will come to me when she’s ready.

  Emily turns from me without saying a word and I watch her flounce into the backyard. I let out a sigh, turning away from the direction she’s left, and I go toward my car and slide into the driver’s seat to start the engine.

  I turn back to stare at Jacob’s house. Narrowing my eyes, I see him watching me through the front window. Lifting my hand, I flip him off. His grin grows and he waves back at me. He reminds me too much of my father, of Emily’s father, he is a pedophile. If I could catch him, I’d make sure he went down for it and spent the rest of his days in jail.

  Chapter Four

  WYATT

  Rylan climbs into the truck and a sense of dread skates over my skin. I know that it’s because today is his last day with me. He and Channing, their pasts are causing issues with their future, so I suggested that they move a couple hours away to a town that’s a little larger. Maybe they wouldn’t be judged so hard in a bigger city?

  There was an opening on one of our crews for a groundhand, which is what position he has now. It seemed perfect at the time. Now that it’s almost here, I don’t want him to go. I like having him here, and I feel like we’ve finally reconnected in a way that I never thought possible.

  “So, I just show up at the yard on Monday?” Rylan asks, breaking my bleak thoughts up.

  I grunt, unable to really answer him, not the way he wants. I don’t want h
im to go, plain and simple. Letting out a sigh, I finally speak.

  “Yeah, talk to Big Rickie, he’s your new foreman,” I instruct.

  The rest of the drive home is silent. Both of us lost inside our own heads. Pulling up against the curb of their duplex, I frown when I notice that their driveway is empty.

  “Where’s Channing?” I ask.

  Rylan looks from the empty driveway, then back to me, his brow furrowed. “I don’t know. She didn’t say she was workin’ late. She should have been home around three.” His eyes move over to my dashboard clock and I see him visibly tense, then he frowns. It’s after six in the evening.

  “I’m going inside with you,” I announce, turning my truck engine off.

  Following behind Rylan, I watch as he shoves his hand in his pocket. His movements are stiff, jerky, and I know that he’s scared shitless. That alone causes my blood to run cold. He slowly unlocks the lock, I stay close at his back as he opens the door and takes a step inside.

  The entire place is deathly quiet.

  It only takes seconds for us to realize that the house is completely empty. She’s not here, and she damn well should be.

  “Let’s go to the diner,” I suggest.

  Rylan lifts his chin in a single nod. “I’m going to check the bedroom real quick.” He doesn’t need to, she isn’t here, I can feel it deep in my bones. Nobody is home, nobody has been home, not for hours.

  I watch as Rylan runs to the bedroom, then on his way back, his eyes meet mine. “Let’s go to the diner,” he calls out.

  “We’ll find her,” I nod.

  I don’t know if I assure him more for his benefit, or mine. Maybe I’m just trying to reassure myself, but Channing isn’t just my cousin’s woman. She’s his saving grace, and without her, I’m not sure he would be doing as well as he is.

  Without her, his world would be darker than mine.

  Speeding through town, I don’t give a fuck if the sheriff finds me and pulls me over, in fact, I kind of hope that he does. It would make this situation that much fucking easier.