by Allie Burton
His hands stilled and he shot me a confident-and-a-bit-cocky smile. “Spend tomorrow with me. There’s a cool beach called Shell Cove where a lot of the locals hang out. I’d love to show you.”
My shoulders sagged wanting to go, knowing I shouldn’t. At least I had a real excuse. “I’ve got to work.”
“Only in the morning.” He finished with the first leg and started on my left arm. “We can leave after your shift,” he paused. “Then again, with the way water disasters follow you…”
“They don’t follow me.” Well, they had but he didn’t know about the incident in Nebraska or the time I saved a man from the circus.
“First you rescue that boy. Then, you almost drown. Twice.” Chase held up two fingers. “Water emergencies stalk you.”
“I love water, especially the ocean.” Although, since moving to Mermaid Beach the scary incidents had multiplied.
Was it me or coincidence? Cuda had said strange things were happening even before I arrived on Mermaid Beach. Still, I had to consider the danger.
“The water sure doesn’t love you.”
Chase was wrong. The ocean and I had an affinity in a way I couldn’t explain. The waves welcomed me. The salty water felt like silk against my skin. The underwater scenery was like a familiar tapestry.
Similar to the feeling I have with Chase. Holding my breath, I beheld his familiar features. His strong and serious face. His sparkling eyes. His tug-at-my-heart smile.
Chase got me, or at least the part I shared with him. Somehow he understood when I put on a fake and angry face for the world. He just doesn’t know how much I have to hide.
“I’m drawn to the water.” Like I’m drawn to Chase. “And there’s a good reason.”
Was I about to reveal to Chase my biggest secret of all?
Chapter Eight
Tricky Truth
“And what reason is that?” Chase finished cleaning my arm and scooted over to the other side. “You have a death wish?”
Like standing on the edge of the circus tank waiting for the spotlight to find me, I debated. “I wouldn’t have drowned.” I sucked in a breath.
Indecision swayed back and forth in my tummy like seaweed in a wave. He wanted to be a reporter. He was looking for a big story. I could become that story.
“I wouldn’t have drowned because…”
Chase understood me, the real me, not the façade I put on for everyone else. He’d shown kindness and humor and strength of character. He cared about me, as a person.
“Because?” He angled his head. One of his eyebrows rose in a question mark. A slight smirk lifted his lips.
My shoulders sagged. My weary bones wanted to collapse. I was so tired of keeping secrets, tired of hiding the real me, tired of being alone. Taking a deep breath, I lifted my shoulders.
“I wouldn’t have drowned because I can breathe underwater,” I blurted out the words fast and then held my breath waiting for a response.
I expected incredulity, or laughter but I was greeted with silence.
My mind swirled. “Did you hear me?”
“Yeah, I heard you.” He patted the cut on my leg harder. “I’m trying to figure out why you think you need to lie.”
“I’m not lying.” I crossed my arms and pain tore through my skin, not from the scratches. I’d worried about him exposing my secret and instead I should’ve worried about him believing. “Even you said I was under water for a long time.”
“And you said it wasn’t that long.” He screwed the antiseptic cap back on and set the bottle on the ground with a thud.
“I didn’t want Plankson to hear. I don’t want anyone to know.” My voice rose higher. I’d been so worried about Chase writing a story, I hadn’t even thought that I’d have to convince him I spoke the truth.
“Why tell me then?”
I swallowed again, all my thoughts and feelings balling up in my throat. I wasn’t even sure I knew how I felt about Chase and I’d already taken a huge risk. My heart thundered like waves at high tide pounding the shore. “Because…”
“Because?” His lips tilted up at our replay of words.
“Because I feel like we have a connection.” A compromise, not the full truth. I liked Chase and our connection was strong. Stronger than anything I’d experienced before. “Was I wrong?”
Chase tugged on my hand, unfolding my arms, making a physical connection. “There’s definitely something.” His voice rasped. “But I don’t like lies.”
Then, he probably wouldn’t like the real me. I’d lied from the first time we met. Lied about my age, where I’d lived, my previous life.
“I’m not lying.” This time.
“What you’re saying is impossible.” His gaze dulled by disbelief. “Maybe you hit your head harder than you think.” His concern was an insult.
I dropped his hand and gripped the arms of the chair, ready to get up. Each accusation shot through me like a sharp arrow. I’d finally trusted someone enough to tell the truth and he didn’t believe me. Didn’t trust me enough to believe me. He must think I was totally insane.
“I’ll prove it.”
“No.” He pushed me back down into the chair with a gentle touch. “You’re hurt.” He thought I was nuts or hit my head hard.
I couldn’t get angry because he cared. That’s why I’d confessed in the first place. But I couldn’t let him believe I was lying or crazy. “I’ll prove it tomorrow at Shell Cove.”
* * *
“You ready?” I asked Chase.
We both stood waist deep in the water off Shell Cove the following afternoon.
“You don’t need to do this.” Chase had tried to talk me out of the test the entire drive. Said he didn’t need proof, said he liked me no matter what, which I interpreted as whether I was nuts or not. Which made me even more determined to show him the truth.
I was glad he hadn’t been scared away by my confession. Other people, people in my past, had reacted funny when they discovered my abilities. Chase had proven his integrity, unlike Aunty Eva.
My mood disintegrated like crushed shells. Aunty Eva had been like an angel, appearing one day out of the blue when I was six. She’d greeted me with a hug, something I didn’t remember ever receiving from her sister, Carlita.
Aunty Eva had moved into my small bedroom and we’d stay up late talking and laughing. She seemed to actually like me, not just put up with me. She listened to me, unlike her sister. I could tell Aunty Eva anything. After a few weeks, we were closer than I would ever be with Carlita. So, I told Eva about my abilities.
“You’re such a silly little girl. Dreaming of being a real mermaid.” Eva had laughed at my claim.
“I’ll show you.” And I did.
I dove in the tank and stayed under for twenty minutes. I asked her to lift a five-hundred pound weight, which she couldn’t, and then I lifted the weight while in the water.
Her face had turned white and she’d mumbled an excuse about needing to talk to Carlita. Dripping with water, I followed behind and listened at the open trailer window.
Aunty Eva had spoken in high rushed tones, “With those weird abilities we could take Pearl to Las Vegas or Hollywood.”
“Don’t you think I’ve thought of that,” Carlita screeched back.
“We could make millions.” Aunty Eva’s voice quivered.
“People would assume we tricked them if she was on television or a big production. They wouldn’t believe it was unique.” Carlita’s answer sounded stilted, like she was lying.
“We could put Pearl on one of those reality shows, where they follow her around.” Aunty Eva thought I was a freak. My limbs trembled. She believed I was different in a weird way. “I could be her agent. We’d make bucks.”
“No.” Carlita stood firm. “I won’t expose her like that.”
At the time, I thought maybe Carlita did care about me and my happiness. But now I understood the reason. She was afraid the authorities would discover her deception. Uncover th
e truth. Like I had.
Chase splashed me with water. “Let’s forget about this.”
“No. I want to show you.” I didn’t repeat the words I can breathe underwater for fear he’d bolt.
Not only did I want to prove to him I hadn’t lied, but I wanted to share this part of me hoping it would create a special bond. A tighter connection. Maybe I was being stupid, but I had to know how he’d react, before getting closer.
I handed him an old circus stopwatch. He lay on his stomach on the floaty air mattress, positioned the facemask on his face and stuck the snorkel in his mouth, then he gave me the thumbs up sign, even as he shook his head.
He still didn’t believe me. Thought this experiment was a waste of time.
We submerged and Chase clicked on the watch. I crossed my legs and sat on the sandy bottom. He floated on the surface so the breathing tube stayed out of the water and watched.
Faking a smile, I waved counting down the minutes in my head. Counting down to the beginning of our new relationship. Or the end.
He still might not believe. He might think it was a trick. He might want me to prove my ability over and over and over again. He could react like Aunty Eva. He could want to take advantage of me. He could think I was a freak.
I gritted my teeth together. Too late now. I’d made my decision. We were here. And soon I’d know his reaction.
There were always going to be people, like Aunty Eva, who learned about my abilities and believed I was strange. And maybe I was. But this is who I am, this is me. And if I was going to ever get close to Chase, I’d have to show him the real me. Good and bad. Freaky and un-freaky.
I scooped my hands into the sand and let the grains filter through my fingers. A portion of a nautilus shell caught in my palm.
The shell reminded me of one the circus owners possessed. As a child I’d been fascinated by the dazzling colors coming from inside the shell. I’d never seen anything like it. Their nautilus glowed and I’d climbed on the arm of the couch to reach for it. When I picked up the shell warmth filled my two hands and my heart. I swore I heard waves slamming the shore and music tickling my eardrums.
“What’re you doing?” Carlita had shouted from the doorway.
I’d lost my balance and tumbled to the floor, scraping my elbow and bruising my knee. She hadn’t cared. Instead, she’d snatched the shell away. “Don’t ever touch this again.”
Not that she’d given me the opportunity because she hid the shell and I’d never found it.
Chase tapped on the stopwatch bringing me out of my memories. The hands indicated five minutes had passed. I put up my hand and spread my fingers indicating five more.
He tapped the watch again.
I folded my arms in a stubborn pose and nodded. Then, I pointed at my chest and said, “I’m fine.” Not that he could hear me, but he should be able to read my lips.
In the mask, his eyes sharpened. The lines around his mouth tightened as if he bit on the snorkel too hard. He reached out and grabbed my arm and pulled, trying to get me to come up.
Again, I shook my head. I wanted to prove without a doubt my abilities. I’d finally decided to share my secrets, share myself, and I wanted him to believe me. Believe in me.
Every few seconds his gaze traveled from the stopwatch to me, making sure I was all right. Another five minutes passed. He tapped on the watch again and held out his hand which had pruned in the water. I put my smooth hand in his letting him pull me to the surface.
He dropped my hand, took off the snorkel and mask, then leaned his elbows on the mattress. Red lines circled his forehead from the pressure. His expression was unreadable.
I hung onto the end of the mattress, gripping the plastic between tight fingers. Holding my breath like I was under water, I waited for him to say something. Anything. With each silent second, dread pooled in my tummy like an anchor ready to sink.
Chase rubbed the red grooves. “I. Can’t. Believe. It.”
“You can’t?” My chin dipped. “I’ll stay under longer.”
If nothing else, no matter what his ultimate reaction, I wanted him to believe me. I wasn’t going to run away from who I was any longer.
“No. That’s okay.”
“I didn’t fake it.”
“Yeah, I know. No possible way for you to fake that. Especially when you opened your mouth to talk.” He slid his hand around my neck and reached under my hair line.
At least he wasn’t afraid to touch me. Unlike others.
A shiver skated across my neck. I wanted to lean in to his gentle touch. Until I realized he was searching for a breathing device.
“What’s your secret?”
A blackness overwhelmed me. My thoughts turned dark. He thought I was a liar and a cheat. “I showed you my secret. I can breathe underwater.”
“But how’d you do the trick? No one can hold their breath that long.” A wave knocked him on the side of the head, kind of like I wanted to.
“I wasn’t holding my breath. Did you see me smile?” I fake-grinned showing all my teeth. A real smile was impossible at the moment. “It wasn’t a trick.”
“But I don’t understand—”
“Let’s go on shore.” I hoped some of his shock would wear off once he processed what I showed him. He held the proof in his hand—the stopwatch. Plus, he’d seen everything firsthand.
After swimming back to the beach, we sat down on the blanket we’d laid out when we arrived. I handed him a towel and then used another to dry off. Like I was on trial, my skin felt sensitive to each rub of the terrycloth. The air between us charged with silence.
“How did you do it?” Finally, the questions started again. He still thought it was a trick.
“I don’t know. I’ve been able to breathe underwater for forever.” Maybe the more times I said it, the easier it would sink in for him.
“Why can you do it?” His voice whispered each question like he was afraid to speak out loud.
“Genetic deficiency?” I only half-joked. I didn’t know why I could breathe underwater, had never questioned it until I turned sixteen.
Please don’t say I’m a freak. Please don’t say I’m a freak.
“Who else knows about this?”
“Just the cir…my parents.” The last word tripped off my tongue. I might’ve called them my parents for sixteen years, but now I knew differently. Yet, I couldn’t tell Chase about the circus. The humiliation I’d endured my entire life, how I’d been so docile to Bill and Carlita’s demands, how I’d been on display.
“Where else can you breathe besides the ocean?” His eyes held a semi-crazy gleam. His lips moved in a disjointed pattern. “The pool, the bathtub, where?”
Remembering reading about how journalists always ask five questions relating to who, what, where, how and why, I let out a long, slow breath. I set myself up to be questioned, reporter or not. I braced for the onslaught. “Anywhere I want.”
“What’re you going to do about it?”
My stomach squeezed tight. Doubts about showing Chase collided inside me. “What are you going to do about it?”
“What do you mean?” Confusion worried his face. From my one question or all my answers?
“Are you going to tell anyone?” I twisted the towel in my hands, wringing the cloth like I wanted to wring his neck if he shared my secret. “Write me up for that big story of yours?”
“No.” He leaned forward examining my face, like I was a unique specimen. “Do you want me to? You’d be famous.”
“So would you.” Almost as famous, or infamous, as me. I smushed my mouth and narrowed my glance, shooting daggers at him. I needed to tell him what I wanted. “I don’t want anyone to know.”
“Why?” His voice filled with awe and his ever-present curiosity. “You’d get on the national news, appear on television, maybe meet the President.”
“I’d be stared at, disbelieved, thought of as a freak.” My throat burned and my voice sounded raw. Being in the spotlight in th
e circus had been terrible, having the entire world focused on me would be unbearable. “Are you going to tell anyone?”
“Not if you don’t want me to.”
“Even if you could break a big news story?” I wanted to believe him, that’s why I’d told him in the first place, but he wanted to be a reporter.
His faced appeared thoughtful. He rubbed his knuckles against my arm. The automatic shivers that usually accompanied his touch were absent.
“Not if it would hurt you.” His tone softened. “I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”
“Really?” I so wanted to believe him.
But it was hard when he’d only known me a few days, while my parents had known me almost my entire life and they didn’t seem to care about my emotional or physical pain.
“Really.” He shifted next to me and put his arm around my shoulders. “I care about you. If you don’t want anyone else to know about your amazing ability then I won’t tell. I’m honored you told me.” He bent toward me and his lips touched mine.
* * *
I was so right to tell Chase.
Minutes later, floating on the small air mattress beside him, our nearly-naked bodies touching in several spots, I relived our long, glorious kiss.
Chase was the best kisser ever. Okay, he was my only kisser. But our secret, our pact, our connection had deepened, just like the kiss. Tingles cruised up my spine remembering his gentle lips on mine. And I couldn’t wait to kiss him again.
The quiet waves rocked. Our feet and arms dangled in the water. Lying on the small raft, only our middles supported by the plastic pillow, we drifted in companionable silence.
I’d finally gotten the courage to share myself, the real me, and it had paid off in several ways. Chase believed me, he’d promised to keep my secret, and this demonstrated how much he cared.
I felt like I was floating, which I was.
Chase splashed me with water. “I should’ve brought the snorkel and mask out. There’s a lot of fish swimming right here.”
“I need a drink anyhow. Do you want me to get it?”
“You don’t mind? I don’t want to lose this spot.”
