by Jamie Magee
Chapter Thirteen
He backed into his spot in the garage. I fumbled with my belt and managed to get it unhooked just as he opened my door. He helped me down, and took my hand as he led us in. I could smell the spaghetti before he even opened the door. Nana was slicing bread, and Aden was taking glasses to the table.
“There they are,” Nana said warmly.
Aden’s eyes danced all around Draven and me. “I tried that earlier. I suck at French, though.”
For some odd reason, his tone made me laugh. “I don’t think I’m much better,” I said.
“Is he gone?” he asked, raising his brow.
I nodded, a bit distantly, not fond of how he referred to the soul I’d helped, like it was an infestation needing to be terminated.
“Then you’re better than me,” Aden said, grinning.
“Come,” Nana said, taking the plate of bread to the table.
As I sat down next to Draven, I felt myself completely relax. It was as if what I had done moments ago was all in a day’s work.
Aden and Draven started talking about the guys who played with them the other night. Studio time they wanted to try and book. Normal chatter.
Nana’s gaze was locked on me as she ate. She wasn’t digging in my head; she was pointing to the welcome mat, asking me to stretch my ‘seeing’ ability. I struggled right passed the point where the guys got up to grab another serving.
Like I flipped a switch, finally found the right chord to fall after others, my mind opened and read through her thoughts. I could easily assume I was making it up, that I hadn’t seen anything at all. It was more instinct than anything telling me I’d found a familiar path.
I was watching her answer the phone the night I was at the ER, hearing my mom’s frantic words, saying, “I’m not ready.”
What was my mom not ready for?
I moved deeper, past the recent and into my childhood. There were so many holes. No clear answers on why the guys were separated from Madison and me. No one came out and said you get this trait from this part of your family. But they were expecting us to be different.
“We’ve done our part,” I heard Nana say. “You’ve fallen too deeply into your role.”
“Too soon,” my mother said.
“We can’t know that. For some it may feel overdue.”
I became anxious as I digested this. I sensed my childhood crumbling and the dark and scary world calling me. I was nearing the end of one chapter of my life. I wasn’t ready. How could I tell my mom and sister goodbye? I wasn’t ready to sacrifice them to the fate that was dragging me into an unknown world.
“Do you care,” Aden asked me.
I focused on him and drew the last words he said forward. “You want to play the song haunting my house?”
This almost felt sacrilegious to me. I’d used that song like a prayer to get me through all kinds of hell.
“I want to build on it,” he said doubting he should’ve mentioned it all.
“It doesn’t feel finished,” I agreed.
“Are you going to play for your mom?” Nana asked moving the conversation in a terrifying direction.
This part of my memory was spot on. My mother lingered in silence. There was no memorabilia of my dad around. She knew I played; she knew what insights I had, but never approached the topic with me. She left it to Evan and Nana. She closed her mind down to where I couldn’t even figure out what she had for breakfast if I strained every insight I had. If you crossed my mother’s path you’d be hard pressed to imagine the oddities that touched her life.
Playing for her added to anxieties about what I’d sensed in Nana a moment ago. It felt like a final act. Me declaring to her I was ready. My foundation was rock solid. I could withstand and accept any and all oddities with confidence.
“I wish it were my idea,” I said finally.
Nana got what I meant. My mom was demanding that I look inside and take inventory. She was self-assured I’d find that I was more capable than I thought I was. Anger flared inside. I knew if Bianca had left me be, if I had been more clever, this day of reckoning would be in my future on my terms.
“How do you know it wasn’t?” Nana asked as her eyes smiled, pushing me to go deeper.
She wasn’t pointing out I had gaps in my memory, or that my actions brought me here. Nana was far from a surface thinker. Fate is a course we must follow, easy or hard. The catch was Nana thought we were the creators of our fate. We set course with ambitions larger than our minds could fathom.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a glow of light. As I turned to see where it was coming from. It vanished before I could focus on it. Then I felt a calm come over the room. As I studied the thin air, everyone studied me. Draven’s hand landed on my knee. “We’ll talk about that later.”
My mom, our fate, or his haunted house?
As we finished dinner I grew more nervous about talking to Nana alone. I didn’t want to unlock anything. Not my void, not the missing clues across my life about why I was the way I was. I couldn’t sit still. I got up from the table and started to clear away the dishes. Once Draven and Aden were finished, they came to help me.
With each second that passed, the tension between Draven and me grew. Nana stood from the table and walked to the counter we had just cleaned off. “Why don’t you boys go work on the song? Let us have some time alone,” she said, looking at Draven.
Draven moved his head from side to side. “I don’t like this—all these secrets. How can I know she’s safe if I don’t know what’s wrong?” he asked in an accusing tone.
Aden leaned closer to him. “No one’s gonna let her get hurt.”
Draven looked at me, “If you tell me to back away, I will…just like I did before.”
Draven was good at this. He knew just how to sting your soul with his words. What could I say? I didn’t want to do this. I sure as hell didn’t want him to use any excuse to never help a soul again.
Nana put her hand on Draven’s shoulder. “I promised her mother I’d talk to her. You don’t need to hear this. Not yet. Go play her song. Write her another one. I’ll call you if I need you.”
“Come on, man,” Aden said, nudging Draven.
“I’ll be listening,” he said quietly as his eyes fell into mine. Flashes of every time I’d seen him board a plane and leave my life came to me. I doubt there was one reason we were pulled apart for months at a time, but I knew one of them had to be because it made us stronger, trust more. We had to find a way to stand on our own. When you have no choice but to stand on your own you appreciate the bonds you have when they return. You understand you were never really alone at all.
He kissed my temple before he walked to the door.
“Come,” Nana said, putting her arm around my waist.
She led me out of the kitchen through the entry hall into a living room that was off to the left. It was a cozy room with a fireplace, a couch, and two sitting chairs. I sat down on the couch, and she went to light candles on the mantel. The only other light in the dim room came from the small lamps on the end tables. I could hear the music begin upstairs as she sat down next to me.
She turned to her side and let her arm rest on the back of the couch. I felt my face flush with fear as I turned in my seat so I could see her more clearly.
She gazed into my eyes. “I’m not going to lie to you. I fear what we may find as we walk through your memories.”
“Can’t you see? Can’t you just tell me?”
Her wise eyes told me no. “You’ve blocked it.”
I looked down as fear absorbed me, how could it be worse than talking to shadows?
She reached for my hand. “We’re just going to talk…if it’s too hard, then we’ll stop. Tell me the first time you figured out that your friends in New York were bad.”
I took in a deep breath as my mind replayed the first time I saw Bianca. I remembered almost expecting her.
Then lost memories started to echo
around me. “Instantly…I knew she was coming.”
“How?” Nana asked quietly, looking all around me.
My eyes moved rapidly in every direction as I tried to answer that simple question. I cleared my mind and slowly asked myself over and over again. Slowly—almost painfully, the memories began to ignite in my mind.
I remembered that the whispers constantly swarmed like a predator was stirring them. I’d been caught by teachers, friends, even my mom talking to the shadows. I’d help one then a hundred more would appear. The problem was that the language of these shadows were so complicated, I couldn’t repeat them if I tried. I felt hopeless. I could see where they went wrong, but I couldn’t help them. This made them angrier.
This was the reason I began to hold on to the souls I helped. Instead of finding myself in the glowing room of water I stood in the bleak, cold, darkness they resided in now. I lived through their deaths. I saw where they went. The realm was what madness was made of. Nothing stayed the same. Like a dream the only thing you could expect was the unexpected. Some of the beings I helped were only a vibration, the building blocks that made the dream like realm. Others were lurking. They’d manifest into the setting, or play the role of the vision playing out. I moved deeper, gathering all I could to understand what level of hell I was haunting.
I saw her then.
Masses of shadows ran from her. The more stunned they were the more delighted she became. Bianca inhaled the building blocks of the realm. Natural order or not, something was out of balance. The darkest of souls were the strongest, the ones with some clarity. They were pushing into the living world. The horrid truth that they were being hunted didn’t give them an awakening. They’d simply leapt from a sea of predators into a pool of souls who feared them. The tables turned.
These beings attached themselves to people and places. They were not the first to find this escape; lore and religion alike speak of this unexplained force that taunts the living.
I knew though, as well as I knew my own name, balance had to be restored. Miserable people seek reasons to be miserable. The supernatural darkness seeking portholes into my world for the sake of survival would feed on misery give reason for misery. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, I may not see it in my lifetime, but one day humanity would look back and pinpoint the moment obsession became a way of life.
Who was I to state the solution? Nobody. Just a chick that could help jacked up damned souls. Those lingering the closest to me were the most challenging. They’d found power among the living. Needing to feel like I’d accomplished something, I helped the ones further into the realm. My theory was at the very least I’d clear space. There wouldn’t be a reason to swell into my world because the oldest souls had been removed.
I felt Nana squeeze my hand, pulling me from my thoughts. “You heard your name.”
I winced. I did. It wasn’t like the shadows over the last few days. I heard my name like it was lore. I heard all our names. When the shadows began to ask for the others, I shied away. How was I to know I wasn’t being fooled? What if the dark angels I saw devouring souls were using me to find my crew.
I stopped looking deeper. I helped who was in front of me. I endured those who didn’t want to be helped but found humor in their attachments to me. They’d haunt my dreams, scratch my skin, and twist my emotions. They were seeking a way in. Waiting for me to become angry or afraid enough that I’d make a deal. Let them in if they agreed to stop. I never did. When I proved to be unbroken silence came. Bianca appeared in my life, and we pretended that we were not born to destroy each other.
“When were the battle lines drawn?” Nana whispered.
“I’m not going back to that night,” I said, standing.
I stood to leave; she reached for my arm before I made it very far. “Face this. Nothing is over; you’re standing in the eye of the storm. It would be best to know what fared well and what failed you. Your fear is their weapon.”
I let out a jagged breath.
“Look at me. Tell me what happened. What did they say?”
My eyes raced back and forth as I reached back to that night. At first, all I could see was darkness—all I could hear was an evil hiss. I searched deeper and deeper into my thoughts. The chill of the unknown hurt my bones.
The night came to life all around Nana and me. “I knew it was a set up,” I said as I watched the last seconds of the fight Draven and I had.
I clutched the ring I found on the floor as I shook with fear. I bolted to my room and pulled a box from under my bed. Random things known for cleansing and warding off darkness were there. I couldn’t burn something as obvious as sage, but every other thing I could hide in plane view or on my body I used.
I never let Bianca in but she emerged behind me as I was putting on my makeup. She would do odd things like this then judge my reaction. Acting like it was nothing would be a red flag, I danced between uncomfortable and insecure in my reactions around her. I wanted her to underestimate me.
“My mom’s back?” I questioned.
“You left the door unlocked,” she said with a sly lift of her lips. “Are you excited?” she asked sitting her makeup bag down on the counter as she began to critic her image.
“What’s wrong with hanging at your house?”
“What’s wrong with you hosting?”
“My mother.”
“She’ll never know,” she said as she put her lipstick on. “This shade is perfect for you,” she said turning me. I closed my eyes and plotted my path. I had all kinds of theories. Most connected back to freewill. The most oppressed souls had nothing taken from them. They surrendered everything. I was going to call a spade a spade. Depending on the reaction I’d either run like hell that night or in few days time I’d vanish into the string with my crew and find people stronger than the dark angels I’d provoked. I would’ve planned better, made sure Austin was here; his window of return was never precise. I would’ve ensured we were all ready to bail on the lives we had. I only had hours. Bianca had told me her brilliant plan to have a get together at my place when she dropped me off. I agreed because I saw a gray Hummer turning into the garage.
I needed an excuse to get her not to come up with me, getting ready to go out was a winning one. When I saw Draven it took me all of one second to understand he was shut down. He had it in his head something far from supernatural was up with me. There was no time. I had to engage, him storming out was something I counted on.
The doorbell caused me to fling my eyes open. I rushed through the apartment to answer it. Bianca was behind me, handing cash to the delivery guy. The door never closed all the way. Minutes later I heard a tap on it and peeked around the wall. The simple move jarred me. I saw three front doors. Gravity was heavy right then. I waved Britain in. I was in the kitchen splashing water on my face sure I was on the verge of panic attack when I heard others come in.
I moved toward the living room. The gaming system was on; guys I never met had beers and Chinese food before them. Britain leaned against the wall glaring at Bianca as she worked the room. I pressed my lips together, a nervous habit. It was then I tasted the color there. I swayed, as I dove for a napkin to whip it away. In the end I was on my knees before Britain.
“There,” Bianca said. “Doubt me again.”
Who I was this night was buried under the drug that was on my lips. Who I was now was aware of the room, and all the power plays.
“There is a boring element to your kind,” Britain said, drawing me up with an unnatural strength. He reached for a bottle of water and gave it to me.
“Boring?” She countered. “I’ve snared her, do your part.”
Britain’s grin was cold. “It’s charming how confident you are. My barters are none of your concern.”
She sneered. “Hungry boys?” she said as she appeared behind me and then pulled at nothing. The nothing turned into a bright light. The guys on the couch became drenched in hunger, but they never made a move. Brita
in’s stare was holding them in place.
“Not our flavor,” one said as my vim came back to me twice as strong as it left.
Again Bianca struck, not to taunt them but to question why I still had a heartbeat. “Do something,” she said to Britain.
“She’s not mine to love or hate.”
“Oh, but I can wager you’re here because there’s something connected to this soul you covet. Shall I obsess over what that may be?”
Her charismatic laugh was cut short when her body was jolted up then slammed into the wall by nothing. She flickered, like her body was a signal that was bad. All the guys in the room sneered before they went back to what they were doing.
“It would be a pity if something happened to you, being as you hid like a coward behind mirror image,” Britain said.
“What is your purpose?” she asked when she was let go.
“You should be more concerned with more personal matters.”
Desperation flooded her eyes. Britain had something of hers and she needed an ally to retrieve it. I could only assume my demise was her quick and dirty way to reach this now frantic goal of hers. She tried three more times to pull my vim from me then she spun me looking for the shield I had. She removed all my little tokens, all but the ring and song in my mind.
“Shrewd you are,” she canted her head. “A lesson is to be taught here, play not with things you cannot fathom.” Her voice changed as she spoke. Her next words sounded as if I had said them. “Show yourself!”
Hoards of shadows appeared, sensing the trap they were in they tried to vanish just as quickly but Bianca had sealed them in my apartment somehow. I was the only way out and they were mad with the need for survival. Like snakes they dove inside of me. I crawled away. I don’t know where I was going or if I had a plan but I was in my room moments later hearing Britain and Bianca bickering, their words were fast on a different frequency than I could comprehend then or now.
Then roaring vibration could be sensed charging toward my apartment.
“No way,” Bianca said as her eyes wildly searched in every direction. “They are myths.”
“You fool,” Britain bit out as he knelt down and moved his thumb across my forehead.
“Now you help? What good will this do?”
“That is for you and your God to debate,” he said as the power charging toward us made landfall bursting through the front door. The seal around my apartment was broken, the shadows made their escape. When the cloud of them thinned I watched as my mother ran through the door, the panic in her eyes as she saw evil chaining me. She dove to the floor moving her hands across me, screaming my name.
I couldn’t help it; I stepped forward in this vision wanting to protect my mom from the darkness that was seeking anything or anyone to attach itself to. This evil had no boundaries. It pulled me into the vision and I felt the pain and coldness that my memory was shielding me from. So much pain that I had no choice but to shut down. My eyes closed and I drifted.
