‘No! I bet that was a shock.’
‘Just a bit. We’re jumping ahead, though. Let me go back to George. As I said, he was a rich widower with no children, but he had a sister, Frances. Her poor husband lost his life at those dreadful Normandy landings, leaving her with four young children. She’d married for love rather than money so George did everything he could to make life comfortable for them. I loved Frances and those little ones. She’d always been kind to me, welcoming me into the family, whereas some of George’s friends and relatives had sneered at him for marrying a dancer, accusing me of being after his money.’
‘That’s a bit harsh.’
Ruby shrugged. ‘Yes, but it was the reaction I expected and it was a reasonable assumption because so many women from my background did it. Frances, thank goodness, took the time to get to know me and draw her own conclusions. George, God rest his soul, contracted TB. He wanted to leave everything to me, so long as I continued to support Frances and her family. I insisted he left his full estate to them and said I wouldn’t hold his hand at the end unless he did. It was cruel of me because I knew he feared being alone, but the tactic worked. He called his solicitor to the house to make the final changes to his will. When he died, most of his estate went to Frances and the children but he left me a large lump sum and a cottage in Devon. When I say cottage, I’m not talking your basic two-up two-down. Country pile is probably a more accurate description.’
‘Oh my goodness, Ruby. What did you do?’
‘Tried to give it to Frances but she believed I should have been bequeathed his entire estate. She insisted on me staying at George’s London residence until the funeral and for as long as I wanted to afterwards. I was grateful because it gave me time to think. On the day following dear George’s funeral, I decided that a change of scenery may help me gather my thoughts so I took a walk alone through Regent’s Park. Clearly Frances was not going to accept the cottage, so I had four choices. I could live there myself, sell it, lease it, or give it away. I’d had an offer of acting work via one of my former contacts and it was tempting. I’d continued to dance when George and I first married. I’d also tried a little acting and loved it.’
Ruby stared out of the window for a moment, a slight smile on her lips. ‘I’d been so lost in my thoughts as I walked through the park that I tripped over a gentleman who’d bent down to retrieve his glove. That gentleman turned out to be Teddy. I’m not sure who was the most shocked. I swear we just stared at each other for about five minutes, both too astonished to speak.’
I sighed softly. How romantic, bumping into the man she loved after so many years apart. Fate had obviously been determined to reunite them.
‘He looked exactly the same,’ Ruby continued, ‘and I felt exactly the same as I’d felt six years previously. He still held the biggest piece of my heart. Teddy was running late for an important meeting, but he begged me to meet him for dinner that evening. I told him that I wouldn’t turn up, but we both knew that I would. There was much to say.’
‘You did turn up?’ I prompted, when Ruby fell silent again.
‘I couldn’t not. I’d pushed him away twice already and I owed him an apology for the set-up with George. He said he hadn’t believed that I didn’t love him, but he understood why I did it because he knew that I was never going to let him walk away from his family and his responsibilities. He did marry Gabriella, which I already knew, but their marriage was a farce. His father died two years after they wed, so Teddy had the family estate and businesses to run which frequently took him to London. While he was away, Gabriella entertained a steady stream of men and didn’t even try to hide it. Her argument was that he’d given his heart to another before they wed so she could give her body to whomever she wanted.’
I shook my head. ‘She sounds delightful.’
‘Doesn’t she just? Gabriella had three children, although Teddy wasn’t convinced they were all his. His first son and heir definitely was, but he was doubtful about the other two. Being Teddy, though, he still adored them and treated them as though they were his own.’
‘Poor Teddy,’ I said.
Ruby nodded. ‘I didn’t want to cause him further pain. I tried not to get involved, but I couldn’t resist that man. I couldn’t push him away for a third time so I prolonged my stay in London and met Teddy whenever he was down, which became more and more frequent. Then I discovered that I was pregnant.’
She fell silent again, her finger lightly tapping on her train ticket.
‘You didn’t tell him about the baby, did you?’ I said.
Ruby slowly shook her head. ‘He’d have given up everything for us and it would have ruined his family. I had no sympathy for his despicable wife but I felt for the children, his mother and his sisters. We shared one more incredible weekend together and then, as far as he was concerned, I disappeared into the wind. Where I really went was the Devon cottage where I read scripts and learned parts. Edward was born and adopted and I moved to Europe, changed my name and became an actress. I donated the cottage to a charity and I never saw Teddy again.’
I swallowed hard on the lump in my throat as I watched Ruby’s eyes fill with tears and her bottom lip tremble. Reaching across the table, I took her hand in mine.
‘Surely he looked for you? Didn’t he ask Frances where you were?’
‘Many times, but I told her the full story, pregnancy and all, and she promised to keep my whereabouts secret. Because George had bought the cottage only days before he died, none of his friends or business contacts knew of its existence and I had the deeds for the property changed into my new identity before I gave it away. I did keep my real name on Edward’s birth certificate just in case… well, you never know, do you? Teddy could search as much as he wanted but he wouldn’t find anything. I have to say, though, giving up my baby – Teddy’s baby – was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.’ A tear slipped down her cheek at this point and she swiped at it. ‘Goodness me, darling. Who gets upset over something that happened more than fifty years ago?’
‘Anyone with a heart as big as yours,’ I whispered.
30
Ruby remained silent for the rest of the journey to York and I gazed out the window. There’d been heavy rainfall over the past week and the River Derwent had broken its banks. Looking at the flooded fields and rapidly flowing water, a million questions whirred around in my mind, the most important one being whether Teddy was still alive. If he wasn’t, surely Ruby would have said. Or perhaps she’d avoided finding out anything about him, for fear of what she’d discover.
‘Is Ruby Miller your real name or your acting name?’ I asked, as we walked from the train station into York City Centre.
‘My real name although I was, of course, Ruby Hetherington-Smythe for six years. Damned long name, that one. Ruby Miller is the name on Edward’s birth certificate. He was approaching eighteen when I retired from acting in my late forties so I changed my name back in case he wanted to find his biological mother.’ She laughed. ‘Silly me. Edward has never wanted anything to do with me.’
I’d heard that straight from the horse’s mouth, but I wasn’t going to let on. ‘But Rhys found you years later instead.’
‘This is true and that young man is my world. As are you, my darling.’
I wanted to ask her more about Teddy, but I suspected the train journey had been pretty emotional and that it was best to stick to the lighter subjects for the moment.
‘What was your acting name?’ I asked.
‘Promise you won’t laugh.’
‘Of course I won’t.’
‘I wanted something that sounded sophisticated and that linked me to Teddy and to my past life. You are looking at the actress formally known as Theodora Sapphire.’
‘Oh wow! Theodora Sapphire. I absolutely love it. What sort of acting did you do? Plays? Films?’
‘Mainly plays, but I was an extra and had a small part in some films too…’
We had a lovely morning, wandering ar
ound the cobbled streets of York while Ruby regaled me with fascinating stories from her days as an actress. We had tea and a scone in a tearoom during late morning and skipped lunch to avoid ruining our appetite for afternoon tea at Betty’s Tea Rooms.
‘Go on, then,’ she said, as we slowly edged our way along the side of Betty’s that afternoon, still many tables away from being seated. ‘Ask me the question you’re dying to ask me.’
‘Is Teddy still alive?’
‘Yes.’
I grasped her arm. ‘Oh my God! Really? Are you sure? How do you know?’
‘Callie Derbyshire! How do you think I know? I thought you young people lived your lives on social media.’
‘He’s on Facebook?’
‘Facebook, Twitter, that Instant-thingy…’
‘Instagram?’
‘That’s the one. Well, he isn’t personally on there, but the estate is and there are pictures of him and comments about him.’
‘Has he changed much?’
‘He’s still got most of his hair, although it’s pure white now. Very distinguished. Wrinkles and glasses like the rest of us, but he’s still my Teddy.’
‘And the despicable wife?’
‘Not in any family photos so I’m not sure. Divorced? Dead? I don’t really care. That woman doesn’t deserve a moment of my time.’
We shuffled forward in the queue.
‘So how long have you been cyber-stalking your ex?’
Ruby nudged me playfully. ‘Goodness me, darling, is that what they call it? Cyber-stalking? I’ve been doing no such thing. After our walk round the park the other day, I couldn’t stop thinking about him so curiosity got the better of me and I searched for him. I only did it once and I haven’t looked since.’
‘You haven’t made contact, then?’
‘Of course not. And I’m not going to.’
‘Why not?’
‘Do you even need to ask?’ She lowered her voice to a whisper, although she didn’t need to. The people queuing either side of us were engrossed in their own conversations in other languages so there was no danger of them over-hearing. ‘I pushed that man out of my life three times, then had his baby fifty-four years ago and didn’t tell him. I can hardly chirp him with a “hello, remember me?” message, can I?’
‘Chirp him?’ I frowned. ‘Ah, you mean tweet him.’
‘That’s the one. Tweet. I can hardly do that. It’s been too long, darling. We had three opportunities and none of them worked out. Our time has passed.’
‘They only didn’t work out because you wouldn’t let them. It sounds to me like he’d have moved heaven and earth to be with you.’
‘He would have but, as I said, it was—’
‘Yeah, I know. It was a different time back then. It’s the twenty-first century now, though, and anything’s possible. Do you still love him?’
‘Darling, I don’t know him anymore.’
‘That’s not what I asked.’
‘How can you love someone you don’t know?’ Ruby protested.
‘Also not what I asked.’
‘I don’t want to have this conversation anymore, Callie.’ Ruby linked my arm and patted my hand as though I was a small child. ‘It’s been liberating to share my secret, and I will tell my wonderful grandson about his heritage at some point, but, until I tell you that I’m ready to do that, I’d like to close the book on the story of my life. As for writing an epilogue, that’s not going to happen. If you care for me, you’ll respect my wishes. I am not going to get in touch with Teddy and I don’t want you to do so either.’
‘But—’
‘No, Callie. This isn’t about you. This is about what I want and I want to leave the past in the past. I’m too old and tired to do it all again.’
I felt like a petulant child, dragging my feet and pouting as we shuffled closer to the front of the queue. She couldn’t be more wrong with her decision. She’d opened up after more than fifty years so what was the point in closing the conversation again? And the love of her life was still alive. Why wouldn’t she want to get in touch, especially if Gabriella was out of the picture, which surely she had to be, given how bad their marriage had been?
I glanced at her set jaw and narrowed lips. ‘Okay. It’s your life. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do.’
‘Is that a promise?’
‘It’s a promise.’
‘Good. Now it’s time to change the subject. Let’s talk about you and Rhys. What are your Christmas plans?’
I answered Ruby’s question, trying to sound enthusiastic, but my mind was picturing a romantic reunion between Teddy and Ruby, a speedy wedding, and a happy ever after for as many years as they had left. I felt sure that it would happen. I’d promised Ruby that I wouldn’t do anything she didn’t want me to do, though, and I wasn’t one to break promises. The thing was, I was absolutely convinced that she really did want to be reunited with Teddy and was scared of either her or me making the move in case he wasn’t interested. If I thought she really did want me to make contact, even though she said she didn’t, then I wasn’t breaking my promise, was I? I was doing something that she really wanted me to do, even if she hadn’t voiced it.
31
As soon as I got home from our trip to York, I Googled Teddy Latimer. He definitely looked distinguished with thick white hair, warm dark eyes, and a sharp suit. Curiosity nudging me, I read about his estate, Burghfield Hall, his charity work, his businesses and his family. I discovered that Gabriella and Teddy had divorced about a year after Ruby last saw him. Two divorces and a bereavement later, she passed away eight years ago. Definitely out of the picture, then.
I found the Chopin music that Ruby said Teddy had been playing when she fell in love with him and the Perry Como track she’d mentioned. How had I not heard of Perry Como before? What a voice! I found myself playing a live version of the song over and over on YouTube, captivated by his silky smooth, effortless tone. The lyrics were quite beautiful too, talking about everlasting love. I closed my eyes and imagined Ruby and Teddy swaying to the music, Teddy singing along to the lyrics. Whatever Ruby said about not wanting to get in touch, I was convinced that theirs was an everlasting love, just like in the song.
Rhys, who was on a night out with friends, texted me shortly after 11 p.m.
✉︎ From Rhys
Missing you. Hope you’ve had a relaxing evening. Saw Maria in The Old Theatre. If looks could kill! No sign of Tony, though xx
I nibbled on my thumbnail. Maria. It was almost three weeks since I’d seen her in The Chocolate Pot and I still hadn’t found a way of reaching out. I pictured her on the beach with Tony and shuddered. Why hadn’t I seen him for what he was? Why couldn’t she?
I missed Maria’s friendship so much and felt sure she had to miss mine because she didn’t have any other friends and wasn’t in touch with her family. Her dad had walked out when she was eight, leaving her mum with five girls. It turned out that her mum wasn’t very good at being on her own, working her way through a string of loser boyfriends and leaving Maria to bring up her sisters. When Maria was fifteen, the latest boyfriend indecently exposed himself to her and her two eldest sisters. She called the police, social services got involved and the already dysfunctional family fell apart. Her mother stood by the boyfriend and disowned Maria – something I’ve never been able to get my head around. Her two younger sisters never forgave her for causing their separation from their mother. The next two were old enough to understand but took the opportunity to put as much distance between them and their childhoods as they could, one emigrating to New Zealand and the other to Canada, leaving Maria with nobody. And now the only person in her life was Tony. It didn’t get much worse than that.
I picked up my phone and started typing a text:
✉︎ To Maria
Hi Maria, I’m worried about you
No, too direct. Try again.
✉︎ To Maria
Hi Maria, how are things going with the b
aby?
Argh! Too chatty.
✉︎ To Maria
Hi Maria, I just wanted to check you’re OK. I saw you on the beach with Tony and…
I shook my head. Completely inappropriate. It sounded like I was stalking her and, given what she was doing with Tony on the beach, that was not a good opening line.
✉︎ To Maria
Hi Maria, I know that things didn’t end well between us but it doesn’t mean I don’t care. I’m here if you need someone to listen x
I re-read the text a dozen or so times. It wasn’t perfect, but it was the best I could think of. Pressing send, I suspected she wouldn’t get in touch – unless it was to hurl some insults – but I’d reached out with the olive branch and it was up to Maria whether she accepted it or not.
✉︎ From Maria
You cared so much you got me sacked
* * *
✉︎ To Maria
It wasn’t me! I don’t know who it was but I swear I didn’t drop you in it
* * *
✉︎ From Maria
As if I’m going to believe that. Sod off, Callie. I don’t need you trying to fix me
I poised my fingers ready to reply, then sighed and put the phone down. Enough. The offer was there. If Maria didn’t want to take it, then that was her decision and I wasn’t going to beg. I was, however, going to do some digging. Somebody had dropped Maria in it and I was determined to find out whom. No way was I going to let her think it was me in some desperate act of revenge.
32
‘Aren’t you having breakfast this morning?’ I asked Ruby, surprised to find her all alone in the residents’ lounge first thing on Monday.
Making Wishes at Bay View Page 16
