✉︎ To Maria
When did this happen?
* * *
✉︎ From Maria
Not that it’s any of your business but he moved in this afternoon. Said he didn’t think it was fair to tell her he wanted a divorce on Christmas Day
I bit my lip. ‘So if he only moved in this afternoon, where do you think he was last night and this morning?’
Rhys glanced at me; eyebrows raised. ‘Do you really need to ask?’
‘Should I tell her?’
‘I think you should stay out of it. She’s made her bed.’
‘But she’s having his baby.’
We’d arrived back at my flat so Rhys pulled into a parking space and we headed into the flat before continuing the conversation.
‘I know she was your friend,’ Rhys said as we plonked ourselves down on the sofa, ‘and I know you still care about her, but she did the dirty on you and now Tony’s very likely doing the same to her. I can’t help thinking it’s karma.’
I ran my fingers through my hair and released a frustrated squeal. ‘I know but I can’t help thinking about that poor little baby. And Maria is really vulnerable, despite making out that she isn’t.’
‘I’ll never tell you what to do but my very strong advice would be to leave it alone. Send her a text wishing her well, then cease contact.’
I scrolled through the texts from her, wincing at the aggression in them. Rhys was right, but my conscience wouldn’t let me leave it completely alone.
✉︎ To Maria
I hope you know what you’re doing because, if you ask me, leopards don’t change their spots. Be careful xx
* * *
✉︎ From Maria
I didn’t ask you so you know where you can stick your unwanted opinions
‘Maybe you should introduce her to Izzy,’ Rhys said when I showed him Maria’s response. ‘They’re like peas in a pod.’ He took my hand and squeezed it. ‘You’re a good friend to Maria, even if she doesn’t deserve it. And you were amazing with Megan today. She loved you.’
‘Do you think so? I’m used to being round people at the other end of the path of life. I don’t know anyone with kids.’
‘You were a natural. You’ll be a brilliant mum when we have our own… assuming this afternoon hasn’t put you off having kids.’
I changed position so that I could gently kiss Rhys. ‘Definitely not. If anything, being around Megan has made me a bit broody.’ I kissed him again. ‘I’m not quite ready for kids yet, but I’m not averse to practising making them.’
As I lifted my T-shirt off, then pulled Rhys’s over his head, I closed my mind to Maria. She was making a mistake but that was her choice and I’d done everything I could to warn her. From now on, my focus was on my gorgeous fiancé.
43
I spotted Ruby shortly before my shift ended the following day and my stomach lurched. Postal deliveries would resume in a couple of days’ time so Teddy would receive my letter. Should I warn Ruby? What good would it do, though? I was a nervous wreck thinking about Teddy receiving the letter, so imagine the state Ruby could get in if she knew I’d made contact. I also felt guilty as hell. Lies. Deceit. But my intentions were honourable.
‘Are you all right, my darling?’ Ruby asked. ‘You look a bit pale.’
‘Just tired. There’s been a lot going on.’
‘You youngsters, you’ve got no staying power these days. I used to perform until late, go out dancing until the small hours and be fresh as a daisy the next day.’
‘With Teddy?’
‘Yes, with Teddy,’ she said wistfully, then straightened up. ‘And with other suitors before him. Teddy and I… well, I wasn’t the one he was meant to find.’
‘But he did find you and he loved you.’
‘Yes, darling, but that’s in the past. I’m more interested in the future so sit down and tell me more about your wedding plans.’
And the subject was changed. Again.
Rhys was waiting for me under the covered entrance at the end of my shift, pacing up and down, scowling into his phone.
‘What’s she done now?’ I asked. When I’d seen him at lunchtime, Rhys told me that Izzy had phoned asking if he could babysit Megan that evening. Apparently she had a last minute opportunity to go to a gig with her best friend, Jess. Rhys said no because we were going out for a meal at a potential wedding venue. Why had he been so honest? It was the sort of plan she loved to mess up for us.
‘She’s at it again. Supposedly Megan’s got a rash and she’s terrified it’s meningitis.’
‘Has she called the NHS Helpline?’ I asked.
‘I don’t think so.’
‘Has she rolled a glass over it?’
Rhys looked at me blankly and I shook my head. ‘Come on. We’ll go there now. If she has got meningitis, which I very much doubt, then we need to get her to hospital. We can quickly confirm it, though.’
‘What are you doing here?’ Izzy snarled at me when she opened the door.
‘Callie’s a first-aider and she knows what she’s looking for,’ Rhys said.
Izzy’s eyes widened, then she looked down at her arm, scratching her nail over the sleeve of her hoodie as though removing a piece of muck. Imaginary muck. ‘I think I might have over-reacted. She seems okay now. Thanks for checking.’
She tried to close the door but I wasn’t having any of it and pushed past her. ‘I’d rather take a look, just to be on the safe side. You can’t be too careful where little ones are concerned.’
Megan was seated on a colourful play mat in the middle of the small lounge, poking brightly-coloured wooden shapes into a holder. She looked over at me and waved her arms in the air as though she wanted me to pick her up.
‘Hello, sweetheart,’ I said, unwinding my scarf and slipping off my coat as I sat down beside her. She handed me a purple triangle covered in slobber. ‘Is that for me? How kind are you?’ I held the back of my hand against her forehead. It was a little clammy but no more than I’d have expected considering how warm Izzy had the room. Megan’s cheeks were pink but that was also expected because she was teething again.
‘Has she been sick?’ I asked, turning to Izzy.
‘She brought up some of her dinner.’
‘Has she eaten since and kept it down?’
Izzy shrugged.
‘Has she?’ Rhys snapped.
‘Yes. She’s kept it down. Happy?’
‘There is nothing about this situation right now that makes either of us very happy,’ I said. ‘But you called Rhys in a panic and mentioned meningitis. Either you are genuinely worried about her or you’re making it up and causing trouble again.’
Izzy glared at me. ‘She does have a rash.’
‘Where?’
‘On her tummy.’
‘Then I’d like you to fetch me a glass.’
‘What? Why?’
‘A glass. Now. Ideally one with a smooth edge to it.’
Muttering under her breath, Izzy stormed out of the room. Rhys and I exchanged exasperated looks.
‘Right, sweetie,’ I said, turning back to Megan. ‘Let’s have a look at your tummy.’ I gently laid her on her back and unfastened her clothes. No rash. Quelle surprise!
Izzy reappeared and thrust a glass at me. ‘It’s under her nappy.’
I undid the tags on either side of her nappy expecting to find nothing but there actually was a rash. I slowly rolled the glass across the redness, holding my breath. Phew! ‘It’s not meningitis.’
‘How do you know?’ Rhys asked.
‘Not everyone with meningitis gets a rash but, if they do, one of the tests is to roll a glass over it. If you can still see the rash where the glass is pressing, then we need to be worried. If you can’t see the rash where the glass is pressing, then it’s not meningitis and, as you can see, the rash disappears when I press the glass on it.’ I showed them both, then looked up at Izzy. ‘Her nappy’s wet. Do you have a fresh one?’
‘Of course I do
.’ She disappeared for a moment and returned with supplies. I reached out for the items but she glowered at me. ‘She’s my daughter. I’ll change her.’
‘Be my guest.’ I moved to one side. ‘I think it’s nappy rash,’ I said as I watched Izzy deftly change Megan. ‘But you knew that, didn’t you?’
Izzy paused for a couple of seconds then resumed what she was doing.
‘For God’s sake, Izzy,’ Rhys said. ‘You’re like the boy who cried wolf. What if she’s really ill one day? I’m not going to believe you, am I?’
‘It could have been meningitis,’ she muttered.
Rhys helped me to my feet. ‘We’re going out now. And while we’re out, I suggest you think very carefully about what I said on Christmas day.’
Nappy changed and clothes back in place, Izzy picked up Megan and kissed her cheek, holding her close. ‘Are you threatening me?’
‘No. It’s not a threat,’ Rhys said. ‘It’s a promise.’
Rhys reached for my hand as we returned to his van, but I snatched it away.
‘What’s wrong?’ he asked.
‘Her. Again. Is she always going to be like this?’
‘I’ve tried talking to her. You’ve seen what she’s like. You’ve seen how selfish and self-centred she is. She doesn’t listen to me. The only one she ever listens to is her friend, Jess.’
‘Then tell this Jess to have a word.’ I clambered into the van and slammed the door shut.
‘Callie!’ Rhys ran round to his side and got in beside me. ‘I barely know Jess and I’m not dragging anyone else into this. I’ll keep trying with Izzy. Something will get through to her eventually.’
‘You think so?’ I clicked my seatbelt on. ‘I hope you’re right because I don’t think she’ll ever change. What the bloody hell did you ever see in her?’
Rhys started the ignition. ‘I could say the same about you and Tony but you don’t hear me going on and on about it, do you?’
We drove home in silence and I had this terrible fear of this argument playing on continuous repeat for the rest of our lives.
When we arrived back at my flat, I sighed. ‘Sorry, Rhys, but I’m not in the mood for going out tonight. Will you phone them and cancel?’
‘If that’s what you want,’ he said.
‘No, it’s not, but I’m too wound up to enjoy it so I think we’d better cancel otherwise that’s a potential wedding venue tainted by Izzy and her games.’
He reached out for a hug and I cuddled against him telling myself that it wasn’t his fault, but it was all so exhausting and the thought that there’d never be an end to it absolutely terrified me.
44
‘No! Don’t do this to me.’ I slammed the mouse on the desk the following day and pounded the wheel a little too aggressively as I scrolled up and down the spreadsheet I’d spent the last couple of hours updating. Except my updates weren’t there. ‘Argh! I hate you.’
‘Is that how you greet all your visitors these days?’
I looked up, startled to hear the voice of my former boss. ‘Denise! I wasn’t expecting to see you today.’ We’d stayed in touch after her attempted suicide, even meeting for coffee on a few occasions. She’d been eager to apologise for how she’d treated me and I’d been happy to draw a line in the sand and do what I could to help her move forward.
‘Bringing belated Christmas gifts.’ She held up her arms, laden with bags. ‘Is this a bad time?’
‘No. Please come in. Actually your timing couldn’t be better. The computer was close to being thrown out the window.’ She sat down opposite me and I picked up a pen. ‘So, tell me why you think you’re a good candidate for a position at Bay View?’
Denise laughed. ‘Sitting across the desk like this, it does feel like I’m being interviewed. My palms are starting to sweat. I’m appalling at interviews. I still don’t know how I secured the role here.’
‘How are you holding up?’ I asked.
Denise took a deep breath and nodded. ‘Good days and bad days. Mainly good, though.’
‘We missed you at Iris’s wedding. She says you were poorly.’
‘A little white lie. My ex-husband’s new girlfriend had their baby on the twenty-third.’
‘Ooh. That must have been tough.’
‘The ridiculous thing is that I had four months to get my head around Gavin’s new life and prepare for the baby arriving. I even knew it was a boy and that they were going to call him Freddie, yet the birth announcement absolutely floored me.’
‘You didn’t…?’
She shook her head. ‘But I’d be lying if I said it never crossed my mind. I phoned my counsellor and she calmed me down and helped me focus on all the great things I have to live for next year. My little sister, Ellen, is expecting her first baby in June and I’ve decided that it may not be my destiny to be a mother myself but I can make sure I’m a damn good auntie and help out Ellen whenever she needs me. And I’m moving out of the marital home.’ She said those words as though they were dirty ones. ‘It’s a family home – that’s why we bought it – but the family never came. I don’t think rattling round on my own in all that space was doing me any good so Gavin’s buying me out. They’re moving in and I’m buying a two-bed cottage in Great Sandby.’ Her eyes lit up as she talked about her new home and the knot in my stomach loosened. She was going to be okay.
‘It sounds lovely. I trust I’ll be invited to the housewarming.’
‘If it wasn’t for you, there’d be no house to warm because there’d be no me. I still owe you my life. Literally.’
Tears pricked my eyes and I tried to block out the image of her collapsed on the floor in the laundry room, an empty bottle of pills beside her. There wasn’t anything I could say. ‘You’re welcome’ or ‘any time’ didn’t seem like appropriate responses so I simply smiled.
‘Oh. And guess what?’ she added. ‘I’m coming back.’
‘To work?’
She nodded. ‘It’ll be a phased return starting mid-January. Only a couple of half-days at first but we’ll build it up over time and the hope is that I’ll be back full-time by the end of March.’
‘That’s wonderful news. It’ll be great to have you back.’
‘I’ve missed this place so much,’ Denise said. ‘And… oh my goodness, I’ve just spotted something sparkly on your left hand and can’t believe I didn’t notice it sooner. Congratulations! When? How?’
Denise and I chatted for another twenty minutes or so before she announced she’d better leave me to it. She lifted up a gift bag. ‘This is for you and I want no arguments and no guilt that you haven’t got me anything. It’s a sort of thank-you gift for everything you’ve done for me. It’s something very relevant to me right now and it makes me cry, but it’s something everyone needs to think about as we can all… you know… have dark days.’ She stopped and shook her head. ‘Listen to me. You haven’t even opened it and I’m a gibbering wreck.’ She placed the bag on the desk and gently pushed it towards me.
‘Denise, you shouldn’t—’
‘What did I just say? No arguments.’
‘Thank you, then. But there really was no need.’
The office phone rang.
‘I’ll pop in to say goodbye before I go,’ Denise said, picking up the rest of her bags and heading for the door. I nodded and waved before picking up the phone.
The gift bag beckoned me as soon as the call ended and I lifted out a photo frame made from driftwood. Instead of a picture it contained a quote on cream textured paper: Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain. I read the words over and over. Yes, they were perfect for Denise and her daily battle with her mental health, but she was right that they could be relevant to anyone and, for the last four months, very apt for me. I’d let that storm hang over me with Tony, Izzy, Rhys’s dad and even Ruby’s situation with Teddy. I hadn’t been my usual optimistic self, yet Rhys had stuck by my side every step of the way. He’d never moane
d once about how stressed I’d become by the whole thing, yet how had I treated him? I’d had yet another go at him about Izzy’s latest trick after he’d tried his best to resolve things. If I wanted Rhys in my life, I was going to have to accept that, because Megan was part of the deal, so was Izzy. I needed to find a way to rise above it.
Propping up the frame on my desk, I smiled. Yes, I was going to learn to dance in the rain and hopefully the rain would stop one day.
During my break an hour later, I found Rhys in the tool shed sawing a piece of wood, headphones in his ears, singing along to something on his phone. I loved hearing him sing, although sing was perhaps not the right word for it. Caterwaul perhaps?
He finished sawing the wood at the point the song finished, reaching some sort of unrecognisable high-pitched crescendo and punching his hand in the air. His smile dropped when he spotted me. ‘How long have you been there?’
I grinned. ‘Long enough, Freddie Mercury.’
He put the saw down on the workbench. ‘Let’s not mention this again, eh? Is that for me?’
Nodding, I handed him a mug of coffee, from which he took a couple of eager gulps. ‘I needed that. Thanks. Could have done with an Irish one, though.’
‘Bad morning?’
‘She’s been at it again.’
‘Izzy? You’re joking. Megan again?’
‘No. Izzy this time. She reckons she’s really ill. Stomach cramps, feeling sick, headache. Wants me to go round and look after Megan.’
‘You’re not going, are you?’
‘What do you think? After last night, I don’t believe a word she says. She’ll either have a hangover, period pains or bullshititis.’
I laughed. ‘I suspect the last one.’
‘Me too.’
Rhys hugged me. ‘I’m sorry about all the crap she’s been putting us through. I want to say I wish I’d never met her but that’s not true because that would mean no Megan. I do wish she wasn’t so high-maintenance, though.’
Making Wishes at Bay View Page 23
