‘Hilarious,’ I said. ‘I mean why. The musical box I get but why would Teddy send you an empty picture frame?’
‘Because it probably wasn’t Teddy who sent the gifts although I wish that whomever had sent them had included their name.’ Ruby propped the frame up beside her chair.
‘It has to be Teddy,’ I insisted. ‘I don’t understand the picture frame, but the musical box is too personal to be from anyone else.’
‘Then it’s from you and Rhys,’ she suggested.
‘Sorry, Nanna,’ Rhys said. ‘It’s not us. I’m with Cal. It must be from my granddad.’
‘But how? How would he have found me and why now? I don’t under…’ She stopped and narrowed her eyes at me. ‘Callie? What did you do?’
Busted! ‘Er… I might have written to him.’
She clapped her hand across her mouth. ‘Oh my goodness. When?’
‘Just before Christmas. But, in my defence, I didn’t post it because you didn’t want me to make contact.’
‘Then how does he know?’
I bit my lip and screwed up my nose. ‘Because somebody else might have posted it by mistake.’
‘Callie! I specifically ordered you not to…’ She shook her head and took a gulp of her gin. ‘I should be angry with you for interfering when I explicitly told you not to.’
‘But you’re not, are you, Nanna?’ Rhys said. ‘Callie did a good thing. Do you want me to go outside and see if there’s anyone in the car park?’
‘Oh, would you? You’re such a good boy, Rhys. Unlike your meddling fiancée here.’
‘I’m sorry, Ruby,’ I said when Rhys left. ‘I thought I was doing the right thing and I didn’t mean for the letter to get posted.’
‘How many times? This isn’t a romance novel. This is real life. I said I didn’t want to get in touch but you knew best, didn’t you? I told you that Teddy and I are in the past but you couldn’t just accept that. Oh no. You had to go and try and fix it. It wasn’t your situation to fix.’ She sounded really annoyed with me. I’d never heard her take that tone before.
‘But you’ve decided to meet him now, so I did the right thing.’ I knew I was pushing it, but I couldn’t bear the thought of her hating me.
‘That was my decision to make, not yours. Goodness knows what you’ve told him about me. I hope you haven’t told him that I want us to get back together.’
‘Of course not. I was very vague in my letter.’
‘I hope so.’ She held out her empty glass with a raise of her eyebrow. ‘No tonic.’
Obediently, I headed over to the drinks table to top it up. My fingers twitched against the bottle of tonic, but she’d know and I didn’t want to give her further ammunition.
Ruby was deep in conversation with Brenda Simkins when I returned with her gin, which sent a loud and clear message that she didn’t want to speak to me, given how much she couldn’t abide Brenda.
Rhys returned with nothing to report. There were plenty of cars in the car park but there was nobody in any of them. He’d even walked up and down the street but there was nobody waiting there either.
Fifteen minutes later, Odette handed Ruby an A4-sized envelope. ‘The doorbell rang but there was nobody there this time. This was on the mat.’
It was one of those stiff cardboard-backed envelopes with ‘do not bend’ stamped on it. Ruby removed an A4 photograph of a stunning pink and purple coral reef. She stared at the photo for a moment, then flipped it over. Written on the back were the words: Deeper than the ocean. That was the first part of the phrase that Ruby had mentioned earlier.
Silently, she put the photograph back in the envelope, picked up the frame and packaging, then made her way to the lounge door.
‘Should we go after her?’ I asked Rhys.
He shook his head. ‘She obviously wants some alone time. Leave her be.’
‘I’ve messed up,’ I said, gratefully accepting his hug. ‘Maria was right the other day. I interfere. I made Ruby and Teddy one of my “pet projects” thinking I could fix the past.’
‘Give her time,’ he said. ‘I think it’s all a bit overwhelming and emotional for her right now. I think you did the right thing and Nanna will realise that when she’s had time to process it.’
I hoped so, but I was worried. I’d foolishly assumed that, if she wanted to get in touch with Teddy, it would be to try again; not just to explain and apologise then part ways once more like she’d suggested earlier. Teddy’s gifts – and they had to be from him – suggested to me that he still loved her and he wanted to rekindle things. Even though I’d taken care in my letter to avoid any suggestion Ruby was still in love with him and wanted to try again, had the very act of sending the letter made that very clear? Had I set them both up for heartache again?
It was ten to midnight when Ruby returned to the party. Two more envelopes were waiting for her. From the first, she removed a photo of bright blue sky broken up by some fluffy white clouds with the sun’s rays bursting from behind them.
‘Higher than the sky,’ I whispered when she turned the photo over to read the message on the back.
She placed the image and envelope on the table and opened the other one, which came out back first.
‘Longer than time,’ I said under my breath.
Ruby turned it over to reveal a photo of an opened pocket watch resting on a beach, with the ocean and the sky in the background.
‘I love you deeper than the ocean, higher than the sky, and longer than time,’ she said, looking up at the sea of puzzled faces around her. ‘Teddy and I used to say it to each other.’
‘He must be here,’ I said. ‘Not in the room, obviously, but in Whitsborough Bay.’
Without speaking, she picked up her tumbler and downed the rest of her drink.
‘Less than five minutes until New Year,’ she said. ‘What do you think he’ll do next? Proposal at midnight? He’d better not. I can’t think of anything more humiliating.’
The residents joined hands with the staff and counted down to midnight. Streamers were thrown and party poppers pulled. Ruby looked as though she was fully in the moment, celebrating with the others, but I kept seeing her glance towards the door. I had to give it to her: she was a great actress, but she didn’t fool me.
Five past midnight came, then ten past, and still nothing. I asked Odette to check her pager to see if we’d missed anyone at the door, but there was nothing. No more envelopes, no more gifts, nobody there.
At half past midnight, the party thinned out. Residents bid each other a Happy New Year and steadily dispersed to their rooms. Shortly before one, Ruby stood up, stretched, and announced that she needed her beauty sleep.
‘Walk me to my room, will you Rhys?’ she asked.
I thought she was going to completely blank me but, at the last minute, she turned and said, ‘Happy New Year, Callie.’
‘Happy New Year, Ruby.’ There was no point adding that I was sorry. Again.
‘She’ll come round,’ Iris said, placing her hand on my shoulder. ‘For what it’s worth, I think you did the right thing. Deep down, I guarantee you that Ruby knows that too. She may have dismissed the idea, but I’m pretty certain she was disappointed that there wasn’t a proposal at midnight.’ She patted my shoulder. ‘Good night, my dear, and Happy New Year.’
I looked around the messy room after Iris and William left. Some of my colleagues were collecting glasses and crockery. ‘Pass me one of those bin bags,’ I said to Odette. ‘I might as well make myself useful.’ I billowed it open and started to fill it with streamers and deflated balloons. Deflated. Exactly how I felt.
50
December had been such a crazy busy month that I could really have done with a relaxing New Year’s Day lounging around the flat, eating junk food, and watching films. No such luck. Rhys was spending the morning with Megan and Izzy and had offered to do some washing and cleaning. Much as I wanted to spend time with Megan, I’d arranged to visit Maria. I was then meeting Mum and
Nick at the cemetery late morning and, after lunch with them, would briefly nip to Izzy’s before going to Bay View to see Ruby. Assuming she’d forgiven me and was willing to see me.
Sofia was fast asleep in a Moses basket when I arrived at Maria’s flat, her rosebud lips pouting, one hand resting against her cheek.
‘She’s so cute,’ I said, admiring the mass of dark hair. ‘She’s got your colouring.’
‘Good. Wouldn’t want her to take after her wanker father.’
I took the cup of tea that Maria handed me and sat on the sofa. ‘Have you heard from him?’
‘Only when he collected his stuff but Pete and Lars were here to make sure it didn’t turn nasty. He tried to give me a sob story about having nowhere to live and how much he loved me. It might even have worked if he hadn’t got his latest shag waiting for him in the car. Lars spotted them all over each other before he buzzed.’
‘I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you.’
Maria raised an eyebrow. ‘Pull the other one.’
‘Seriously, I am. You really loved him, didn’t you?’
Tears filled her eyes and she sighed. ‘More than life itself. You know what, Callie? Men have treated me like crap all my life and I genuinely thought Tony was different. Looking back, I’m buggered if I know what made me think that.’ She shrugged. ‘I wasn’t seeing him the whole time you were together, you know.’
‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘It does. I was a crap friend but maybe not as crap as you think. I’ll admit I fancied him from the start but he was your boyfriend so no way was I going to make a play for him. Then the two of you split up in April and I couldn’t help myself. I called it off as soon as you got back together. He bombarded me with texts and phone calls begging me to have him back but I stayed strong, even when I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t tell him about the baby at first because I wasn’t sure how he’d react. When you and I had our pizza night and I said I didn’t see Tony as a marriage and kids kind of guy, I meant it. Of course, like you, I didn’t know he was already married with four kids. Having him working back at Bay View was so hard. He kept telling me he loved me and wanted me back but I refused while he was seeing you. Then your one-year anniversary went wrong and you were so angry with him, I managed to convince myself that it was over for good. Tony came to Bay View the following week while you were on your first aid course. You two were barely even on speaking terms and I knew you weren’t expecting him in Whitsborough Bay which suggested it was over for him too.’
‘Is that when Rhys found you in the laundry room?’
She lowered her eyes. ‘I decided I’d better tell him about the baby before I started showing and it became obvious, so I took him into the laundry room, away from prying ears. When he kissed me, I tried to push him off but I couldn’t do it. I wanted him so badly. Because I was only expecting to talk, I hadn’t locked the door and… well, you know the rest.’ She sighed. ‘Then I found out about the wife and kids but I was in too deep by then as well as being an emotional wreck because of the job situation. I needed him. He kept promising he’d leave her and just needed to find the right time. I genuinely thought he loved me and only me. Turns out that, if he’d been wearing a sign round his neck with “I’m a cheating git who’ll break your heart” written on it, it couldn’t have been more obvious that he was a wrong ‘un.’
‘We all make mistakes,’ I said gently. ‘He fooled me and his wife.’
‘And God knows how many others,’ Maria added. ‘Lesson learned. From now on it’s me and Sofia against the world, isn’t it baby girl?’
On cue, Sofia released a few little cries. Maria stood up and in an impressively speedy and confident move, lifted Sofia onto her shoulder, instantly silencing her.
‘You’re a baby whisperer,’ I said, awestruck.
She smiled. ‘No. Just used to it. I had to be mum to my little sisters, Luna and Violeta, when they were babies. Didn’t stop them turning on me, though, and it didn’t stop Jazmin and Elisa from leaving me either.’
‘You’re still in touch with Jazmin and Elisa, though?’
‘We’re Facebook friends but I don’t think the occasional like on a post constitutes sisterly love. So it really is just me and Sofia against the world and, do you know what? I think we’ll be just fine that way.’ She settled Sofia back in the basket then returned to the sofa. ‘I’m really sorry for everything I did and said to hurt you. If you want to have a go at me, feel free. I deserve it.’
I shook my head. ‘I’d be lying if I said the air wasn’t blue when I found out although I really appreciate you telling me the truth. When I discovered you were pregnant, I assumed you’d been together for months.’
‘No. I couldn’t have done that to you. Although I didn’t know you were definitely over that day in the laundry room.’
‘If it makes you feel any better, you can assume we were.’ I sipped on my tea while I digested the information. There was so much about the scenario that made me squirm: Maria getting together with Tony the moment we’d separated or she thought we’d separated, him chasing her while we were together, and her being in love with him all that time. I tried to imagine myself in the same situation. I’d like to think that I’d have seen the man as off-limits even if he was the ex of my best friend, but love could do funny things to people. Who could say how I’d have reacted if I’d been in that situation? What if Rhys had been Maria’s ex? Would I have been able to ignore my feelings for him?
‘We need to talk about your disciplinary,’ I said. ‘I didn’t tell anyone about you smoking pot that time. I know I was angry when I texted you, but I swear it wasn’t me.’
Maria smiled weakly. ‘I know.’
‘How? I’ve been asking around and nobody at work seems to know anything about it.’
‘It was Tony who dobbed me in.’
My jaw dropped. ‘You’re kidding me. How did he know?’
‘It was him who gave me the pot after his first visit. I’d never smoked the stuff before and I didn’t want to risk taking it home. It would have been just my luck for that to be the one time they decided to do a bag search. I hid it in the shed and that time you caught me smoking it was after I’d done the dirty with Tony. You’d split up but I felt so guilty that I needed something stronger than a cigarette to de-stress me.’
‘But how do you know he was the one who told Denise?’
‘He told me when he called round for his stuff last night. We had a massive argument again, a load of stuff tumbled out, and that was one of the things. I think he was proud of being the one to break up our friendship. So sorry for blaming you for that too.’
‘What a mess and what a git he is,’ I said. ‘Well, it’s over now. Tony’s gone and I’m here and I’ve really missed you.’
‘I’ve missed you too,’ she said, squeezing my hand. She looked down and gasped. ‘What the bloody hell’s that? Explain yourself.’
‘Oh. Rhys proposed to me on Christmas Eve’
‘And you’ve been wearing the ring ever since? How have I not noticed?’
I smiled and nodded towards the Moses basket. ‘Think you might have been slightly distracted.’
Maria smiled too. ‘Do you think? So tell me everything. Was it really romantic?’
‘It was lovely.’ As I told her all about our engagement and then about Iris’s wedding, it started to feel like it used to between us. Tony had done his best to destroy our friendship but he was the one who’d ended up losing us both. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer bloke.
‘How was Lighthouse Point?’ I asked Nick after Rhys dropped me off at the cemetery later. Our grandparents and Dad had all loved the sea so Nick visited Lighthouse Point every year on New Year’s Day and threw in three single white roses at 11.02 a.m. – the day and time that Grandma, the final one of them to go, had died.
‘It was fine. Absolutely freezing, though.’ He shivered as though still feeling the chill. It was definitely a cold start to the year, but so
metimes the seafront could be several degrees colder than slightly inland, especially if there was a strong wind.
We retrieved the bouquets of white roses from Nick’s boot and made our way slowly up the cemetery path, Mum hobbling on her crutches.
Grandma and Granddad shared the same plot and their son-in-law – our dad – lay a couple of rows behind them. Dad’s parents were still alive and in reasonably good health, living out their days in The Algarve. They claimed the warmer weather was better for their arthritis but Mum believed it was because they found it too emotional living in Whitsborough Bay, knowing that their son had been taken from them far too early. It had to be harder for Mum than them; she’d lost both parents and her husband yet she’d stayed in the same house and just got on with it. Who was I to judge anyone else’s reaction to loss, though? Everyone handled grief in different ways.
As per tradition, Nick and I lay a bouquet each on our grandparents’ grave and Mum lay the third one on Dad’s. Standing together, we held hands as we took a moment to silently remember them or say a prayer before kissing our fingers and passing it on through each of the marble headstones.
I missed Grandma but only had vague recollections of Granddad who’d died when I was eight. As for Dad, who’d died two years earlier, there were images in my mind of being held up high by a tall, strong man, but I had no idea whether they were real or if I’d created them myself on the back of photos I’d seen of Dad and me together. I liked to think they were real.
‘Everyone ready?’ Mum asked, adjusting her hold on her crutches.
‘I’m good,’ Nick said.
‘Actually, can we stay here a couple more minutes?’ I asked. ‘There’s something I want to ask Nick and it feels appropriate to do it in Dad’s presence.’
Mum and Nick looked at me expectantly.
‘I know we haven’t set a date yet, but Rhys and I have started to think about what we want on our wedding day and I have a special request to make. Dad isn’t here but there’s someone who has always been like a dad to me as well as being my big brother. Nick, would you be willing to give me away?’
Making Wishes at Bay View Page 27
