Inner Voices: The Awakening

by Barry Alder

  “I’m going to have to sleep on this,” Jason said to the group. He saw that they all understood. The discussion about what to do was over and now the team awaited his answer. He looked around at all the members of his team, and saw a weariness on almost every face. This had been draining on everyone, more so than he would have thought possible. He didn’t know what his decision was going to be, and almost wished someone else would make it for him. He wanted to ask Hong more about his premonition, but knew it would be useless. Hong only knew what he felt, not why, which is what he needed to know. No, the decision rested solely on his shoulders.

  He sat down near the fire and watched as the others got their food. By the time he had dished out his supper, the team had broken into small groups and moved to the edge of the firelight, discussing things of personal interest. Nowhere did he hear any talk about his impending decision. He realized that they all trusted him completely, that he was their leader. He quietly finished his meal and went to one of the huts to sleep. He knew the others would handle the chores that were the norm for camp life, and he didn’t worry. His eyes closed and he fell into a restless sleep.

  Chapter 9

  Pat shivered, pulling her jacket tight around her. The dampness in the air had soaked into her clothes and she felt clammy from it. She rubbed her thighs trying to generate a little warmth to drive her shivers away, but only succeeded in doing so for a few moments.

  She and Rick had been sitting against a large rock for the last four hours, guarding the path that led to the camp. The sky had been slowly brightening in the past two hours, signaling the impending dawn. From her vantage point, she could see out over the ocean and caught the glint of sunlight off the distant waves. She knew that the warmth of the sun was only a short time away, and with it, the end of their watch.

  She thought back to the morning before. Jason had decided to continue with the original plan for now, and to let Rick go back for Suan, but only after a couple of weeks had passed and he was sure the villagers were not attempting to follow them. She thought he had made a good decision and had found that everyone else, other than Rick, thought so too. He had wanted to return right away, but reluctantly accepted Jason’s decision to wait.

  The air had been still at the start of their watch, but now a mild breeze was coming down the mountains, adding to the already cool temperatures. She looked over at Rick and saw that he too had pulled his jacket tight. The breeze brought fresh smells to her. The smell of the pines was, by far, the most prominent, but she also detected the freshness of the cool, crisp mountain air. Birds had been chirping for over an hour now and she thought she could hear the scratching of some animal in a not too distant bush, but otherwise things were quiet.

  Just then the sun broke over the mountain ridge. She felt its warmth quickly penetrating her jacket, adding to the heat of her own shivering. It took only a few moments for the shivering to stop. With the new warmth, new smells arose. The fresh scent of the woodland floor and a faint trace of some unidentified flower replaced the mountain freshness. All around her, she felt the woods coming to life. She leaned over to Rick and whispered.

  “I don’t know why Jason has us watching the path. I really doubt anyone from the village will follow us.”

  “Yea, but he thinks they might and you know why we can’t let that happen.”

  Pat could only shake her head. Despite everything, they couldn’t let the villagers find them, both for their own protection and for the villagers’ protection. It was frustrating.

  “You know, this may be boring,” Rick continued, “but it beats hunting.”

  “You can say that again!” replied Pat quickly. “From what Pete and Joe said the first time they were out, it seemed like the pickings would be easy.”

  “I know. The animals almost came right up to you. Now you can’t even get a glimpse of them, let alone get close enough to catch any. Maybe it’s just that the animals around the village are more used to people.”

  “No,” came a voice from the other side of the rock, startling them, “they’ve learned to fear you.”

  Rick and Pat grabbed their guns and peered around the sides of the rock to see who was talking. They had been whispering and were sure no one over two feet away could have heard, and were startled to see Lara standing about ten feet away.

  “How did you get up here?” yelled Rick as he and Pat rose from their squatting positions.

  “There’s no need to shout Rick. I can hear you quite well. As for how I got so close without you hearing me, well, I had help.”

  “What do you mean?” asked Pat, looking around for any sign of other people.

  “I’m afraid you won’t see them,” Lara laughed. “At least not yet. Perhaps in the future, but that will depend on you. They have skills and powers that you’ve not seen before.”

  Rick and Pat looked at each other. The unspoken question, What’s she talking about? passed between them, but they knew there would be no answers just yet.

  “Okay,” continued Rick. “Why are you here?”

  “I’m here to see Jason and to invite you all back to the village. We’ve changed our minds about a number of things, and are now willing to listen to you, and to work with you in solving our problem.”

  Pat let out a sigh of relief. This was the best news she’d heard since leaving the village, and she hoped that, somehow, they might eventually return to the village, and to the relative comfort it held. Pat could see Rick was relieved too, but knew he was also worried, as was she, about how Jason would take the offer.

  Pat walked over to Lara, putting her handgun back into its holster.

  “My apologies, Lara. We’ve been under some strain since we left and were startled by your appearance. Please. Come with us and we’ll take you to our camp.”

  “Hang on Pat!” interjected Rick. “Remember? We’re here to stop any of the villagers from finding us.”

  This caught Pat by surprise, both because she knew Rick was right and she had forgotten, and because Rick still seemed to follow Jason blindly.

  “Rick. This is different. They want to work with us now. We have to let Jason know.”

  “I agree we have to tell Jason, but we can’t bring her back with us. We can’t let them find our camp.”

  Lara let out a small chuckle, and they both turned to look at her.

  “Please. Don’t worry about me. I can stay here until you return. I’m sure Jason will agree and I have no real desire to find your camp.”

  Pat and Rick looked at each other. She saw that Rick liked the fact that Lara was not going to insist on going to the camp, and that he wouldn’t have to disobey Jason’s orders. But she also saw that he didn’t want Lara to be left alone here and was unsure of which of the two of them should go.

  “Okay,” Pat finally said, “I’ll go. You can stay here and make sure she doesn’t follow, and maybe in that time she can convince you of her sincerity.”

  “What do you mean by that?” he said gruffly.

  “It just seems like you didn’t learn much about Lara or any of the villagers in the time we were there.”

  She saw a puzzled look cross his face as he tried to determine what she was getting at. She looked down and shook her head. No, he hadn’t learned that, she thought.

  “Didn’t you notice that none, and I mean none, of the villagers ever lied or misled us? Didn’t you see that they only told us the truth?”

  He looked at her in disbelief.

  “You don’t know that for sure,” he replied. “For all we know, they’ve been lying to us constantly and we just haven’t found out what the real truth is yet.”

  This floored Pat. This was a side of Rick she had never seen and didn’t understand. She knew from the sound of his voice that arguing would accomplish nothing right now.

  “Believe what you want Rick, I’ll go tell Jason.”

  She gave a quick nod to Lara, turned, and headed up the mountain trail that led to the camp.

  Rick watched her
go, unsure of what had just happened. Questions ran through his mind. Why was Pat so trusting now? What had she seen that he hadn’t? And why was Lara so sure Jason would agree? He knew these were questions that could only be answered later when he had a chance to talk to Pat alone. For now though, he had another problem. He moved back to the rock and leaned against it such that he could still easily observe Lara.

  “It’ll be a while before she returns,” he said. “You might as well make yourself comfortable.”

  “Thank you,” she replied, moving to another smaller rock and sitting down. “I’m sure it won’t be long though.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Because I know your camp is not that far off. Yes, it is well hidden, but not so well that it couldn’t be found.”

  Rick was about to question her on how she knew where the camp was, but she continued before he could say anything.

  “What is it about us that you fear Rick? Surely we haven’t given you any cause to fear or distrust us?”

  Rick thought for a moment, reviewing the times he had been with any of the villagers.

  “Fear? No. Distrust? That’s a different issue. No, you haven’t given me any reason to distrust you, but I don’t give my trust that easily, and you still have yet to earn it.”

  “Hmmm. I see,” Lara replied thoughtfully. “You automatically distrust anyone who hasn’t earned your trust.”

  Rick kept quiet.

  “I don’t comprehend the world you came from. To me it seems strange that you have to be like that in order to live.”

  “How else would it be? Most people are untrustworthy. Friendly, maybe, but still looking out for only their own best interests.”

  “And that automatically means you have to distrust them?”

  “Yes,” Rick replied with disgust. “You mean to tell me that none of you do?”

  “No. We don’t. We expect people to behave to their highest potential, and they usually do. And that always means everyone being true to their own selves, and allowing others to be true to themselves. That automatically means trusting them, and more importantly, trusting yourself.”

  “Are you implying I don’t trust myself? And that’s why I don’t trust anyone else?”

  “Well, you obviously trust some others or you would not be with the group you are. And that means you trust some of yourself, but I suspect there are parts of yourself that you don’t like or trust.”

  Rick was feeling distinctly uncomfortable. Too much of this conversation was focusing on him and he didn’t like it. He felt a wave of anger rise.

  “If things are so great in your life, why call on us? Can’t you just ‘trust’ the Empire to respect you and leave you alone?”

  “In one respect, we do,” Lara replied quietly, not wanting to raise his anger more. “We accept that the Empire will follow the path it has chosen for itself; that it will be true to its calling.”

  Rick was puzzled.

  “You speak of the Empire as an entity in its own right.”

  “It is. No one part of it is irreplaceable, even the Emperor. A replacement would step in very shortly after the person who now occupies that title left, for whatever reason. And the Empire would go on.”

  Rick knew what she was saying was true. He’d seen it many times before, from schoolyard bully groups all the way up to the Mason Faction. The leaders get replaced, but the organization goes on. And usually, the replacement is nastier than the one that was there before.

  “So how did you expect us to help you? We don’t have any secret weapons to wipe out armies. Heck, if we had that, our war would have been over a long time ago.”

  Lara smiled. “But the war, your war, has been over for a long time now.”

  Rick remained silent. Her comment had hit deep. Deeper than he had realized it would. Somehow, he had been able to compartmentalize those thoughts and feelings; keep them away from conscious consideration. Now, they struck home. Now it finally sank in that there was no going home.

  “Just shut up, Lara. Shut the fuck up!” he yelled, and moved up the path a few paces.

  Lara remained seated and didn’t say anything. She knew Rick was hurting and that anything she said would only aggravate the hurt. It was a hurt she couldn’t cure. Only Rick could.

  They remained silent for another two hours, until Pat returned. She took a quick look at their positions and knew something was wrong. Then she saw Rick’s face.

  “What happened?” she asked carefully.

  “Nothing. Nothing at all.”

  “Don’t give me that bullshit. I know what I see, and what I see is that something happened. Now what was it?”

  Rick turned away for a moment and then turned back.

  “None of your business! Okay? Just leave it alone.”

  Pat paused for a moment and decided to follow Rick’s request. This wasn’t the time or the place to pursue it.

  “Jason’s agreed to meet with her. We’re to bring her up to the camp.”

  “What?” he queried.

  “He’s agreed to hear her out. We’re to escort her back.”

  “But then she’ll know where the camp is!”

  “I know,” Pat replied calmly. “But that’s what Jason wants and I happen to agree with him. Now, are you coming or do you want to continue manning an unnecessary post?”

  Rick sneered back, but started up the path, leaving Pat to get Lara.

  “What did you do to him?” Pat asked Lara angrily.

  “Nothing. We just talked, but I’m afraid I touched a part of him that may not have been ready to come out.”

  Pat wasn’t quite sure what she meant, but she wasn’t about to go into it right now.

  “Okay. Let’s go.”

  * * *

  Rick was setting a fast pace back to the camp. Although Lara and Pat were maintaining it, it was almost impossible to do so and carry on a conversation, something Pat wanted to do with Lara.

  “Rick!” Pat yelled. “Slow down a bit, will you? We aren’t running a marathon here.”

  Rick stopped and looked back angrily.

  “Okay, why don’t you set the pace then?”

  Lara and Pat quickly caught up with him as he waited for them to pass. They had gone on about twenty paces past him before Rick continued walking. It was obvious he didn’t want to be close to them for some reason, which was fine from Pat’s point of view.

  “Lara?” Pat started. “You said earlier the animals had learned to be afraid of us. What did you mean by that?”

  “We’ve lived in peace with the surrounding animals for many, many years now. For the most part, we only eat the fruits and plants from the land, and only a small amount from the sea. The animals in the area know we will do them no harm and a long time ago lost their fear of us. We have come to respect each other and to trust each other. At the spirit level, we know we are brothers and sisters, and sometimes we can communicate with them. When the members of your party went out hunting, that shocked them and the old genetic memories came back. Fortunately, they are intelligent and know it is only your group they need to fear. They have been cooperating with each other and have kept out of your way quite effectively from what I gather.”

  There was a smile on her face as she said that. Pat saw that Lara was pleased with the animals’ actions and amused the soldiers hadn’t caught on.

  “I guess we just don’t see animals that way,” Pat said. “To us they are not intelligent. They’re a source of food. I know some of the people in our time thought as you do, but they were a small minority. Hong is one of them and he only eats plants and some animal products like milk and eggs. The rest of us are pretty much meat eaters.”

  As soon as she had said that, Pat felt uncomfortable. It was as though some part of her realized this was wrong. Well, maybe not wrong for the past, but not the way of the future.

  “I sense a discord in you,” Lara said. “I think some of your beliefs are undergoing a re-evaluation and that is making you uncomfor
table.”

  Pat looked directly at Lara. How can she know? she thought.

  “Yea. Perhaps,” Pat muttered, not really wanting to continue this line of thought but not really wanting to drop it either.

  “You’ve taken the first few steps on a new path,” Lara continued, “a path that is unlike anything you’ve ever known before. It’s normal to feel uncomfortable. Do not feel ashamed for your feelings. They are your guides and will always lead you truthfully.”

  Pat decided the topic of her feelings wasn’t something she wanted to discuss at the moment.

  “So you’re saying you can communicate with the animals?”

  “In a manner of speaking, yes. It’s not really talking to them, but communicating with their group spirits and with the spirit of nature.”

  “You’re talking animal spirits? Right?” Pat asked incredulously.

  “That’s right. We all have the capability of speaking at the spirit level. Even if you don’t realize it. In fact, it goes on even if you are completely unaware it exists.”

  “I don’t believe that,” Pat said in disgust.

  “The best way of proving it is to look back at some instances in your life. Have you ever had a time when you’ve seen an animal stay away from a person who you know will treat them badly, but then readily approach another person who will treat them with kindness?”

  Pat thought for a moment. What Lara described was precisely what had happened ten years ago at a family reunion. Her uncle George was a successful businessman, but not a nice person. He was always after “the angle” and ran his business in an extremely cutthroat manner. Pat recalled a feeling of “sliminess” around him, and everyone seemed to want to steer clear of him. She recalled their dog, Sunshine, being accidentally cornered in the kitchen by him. George had never met Sunshine before, but Sunshine started growling as George got closer; something Pat had never heard her do. George laughed and said something about the dog knowing who was the nastier of the two of them. At the time, Pat thought George was just being mean, but now she realized he had been right. George had gone on to do some particularly nasty, but legal, things in his business dealings before she had joined the military and lost track of him. She had wondered at the time how Sunshine had known George’s true makeup, but just attributed it to the animal’s heightened senses.