Inner Voices: The Awakening

by Barry Alder

  “Yeah. I do recall something like that,” Pat replied.

  The path became steep and Pat had to focus on where she was going. Without knowing where to go, it would be easy to get off the path and never find the camp. The way there was neither direct, nor simple. They reached a fall of rocks that required them to climb over and through them. Not an easy task, and Pat was starting to breathe heavily by the time they cleared them. She sat on a nearby rock and looked at Lara.

  “We can take a break if you’re tired.”

  “Thank you, but I’m doing fine.”

  Pat looked closely. Lara wasn’t showing any signs of fatigue or exertion. In fact, she looked like she had just finished a very leisurely stroll on the beach, not an arduous climb up the mountainside.

  I thought I was in shape, thought Pat, but she puts me to shame. How does she do it?

  “Well, I’m taking a break,” she replied as she broke out her water bottle.

  Rick followed suit, but maintained his distance and said nothing. Lara settled on a fallen tree trunk not far from Pat. As Pat slowly sipped her water, she watched Lara. There was something about her that Pat couldn’t put her finger on, something that wasn’t right; something that had to do with how Lara knew so much about them. It was the way she sat, the way she didn’t seem to become tired, the way she always seemed to flow so gracefully no matter what was going on around her. And the way that no matter what happened, she always seemed to be expecting it. That was the part that really annoyed Pat. It seemed to her all the villagers knew exactly what was going on but were not going to let her, or the team, know.

  “Okay. Let’s get going!” Rick yelled from across where he had been sitting. Pat sighed. The break had been much too short for her liking, but she wasn’t about to argue with Rick right now.

  * * *

  The hike from the rest stop to the camp was relatively easy, compared to the first part of the trip. In a little over half an hour they were nearing the encampment. They could hear the sounds of tree clearing and construction drifting through the trees long before they saw the camp.

  Lara stopped at the edge of the clearing, carefully looking around. The soldiers had been quick in setting up a good camp, she thought, but it had not been set up in keeping with the natural flow of the area. Almost directly ahead were four huts that seemed to be living quarters. One was slightly bigger than the rest and she guessed this was Jason’s. Toward the right, near the cliff, was a large hut that she took to be the storage hut. It had no windows and only one closed door. All the huts were set on the ground and appeared to be semi-permanent. Near the center of the clearing was a large open-sided structure that housed a couple of tables and a large fire pit. There was nothing in the camp that suggested long-term permanence, and yet these were not the structures of someone who would be gone in a day or two. This confused her and she made a note to ask Jason about it. As she completed her scan, she saw three areas that would prove troublesome to the soldiers should they remain there, but she decided to say nothing. If she was successful, they would be returning with her soon and never experience those problems.

  She saw Jason directing two of the soldiers in what looked like the planning for another living area. He was deep in discussion with them and hadn’t noticed the party arriving. Others, however, did, and more than one stopped the work they were doing to stare at her. It was obvious Jason had not told everyone she was coming to the camp. A quick survey of the faces turned to her showed that most were both surprised and happy to see her. Regardless of what Jason wanted, some of his group appeared to want to maintain contact with her people.

  Jason noticed some of the others had stopped working, and turned around. He saw Lara standing at the edge of the camp with Pat, apparently waiting for him to finish what he was doing. Much to his surprise, he felt happy to see her. He finished his instructions to Tim and went over to the pair.

  As he walked over, he noticed that Lara appeared fresh and energetic, much as he had always seen her in the village. It was a good three days walk from the village and yet she showed no signs of having made such a trek. More mysteries, he thought, but that will be for later. Right now he wanted to hear what she had to say.

  “Hello Lara.”

  “Hello Jason. You’re looking well.”

  “Thanks. So are you.”

  “Thank you, but I’m sure you are more interested in knowing why I’m here than how I am.”

  “True. So enlighten me.”

  Lara smiled.

  “An interesting choice of words.

  “The village would like you and your team to return. We realized we had not treated you fairly and wish to both listen to what you have to say and to work with you in what you have to do.”

  “That’s quite a change since we were there. I’m a bit skeptical about it. Is it really the whole village or is it just you?”

  “It really is the whole village. We felt wrong when you left and that affected everyone. We had a discussion about what we felt, what it might mean, and where you and your team fit in. That’s when we realized that we didn’t even know what your plan was. We had dismissed it even before hearing it.

  “That was something we had never done before to anyone, and it still puzzles us as to why we did it to you. Perhaps, sometime in the future, we will discover why, but for the time being, it isn’t important. The important thing is that we let you know we are willing to work with you on whatever you have to do.”

  Jason thought for a moment. She seemed sincere and he knew she wouldn’t lie. But he wondered just how far they would go to work with him.

  “When you say you’ll work with us, just how much help can we expect and how far are you willing to go?”

  Jason saw a look of concern cross Lara’s face. She was obviously concerned by the question and knew the implications. What he didn’t know was whether or not it signaled something important, like a condition for helping.

  “We will provide all the help you need in getting ready,” Lara slowly replied. “Anything we can do to help, we will.”

  She paused for a moment before continuing.

  “The last part of your question was also discussed by us. And it caused us serious concern. You are asking if we will kill. That is not a topic we have discussed in many, many years, and as you know, killing is not part of our basic belief system. However, we came to realize everything that is happening now is forcing us to re-evaluate our beliefs, including the necessity to kill.

  “I can only say that the village as a whole has agreed that the topic of killing should be left to each individual’s path. Each person will know if they will support you on that, and the rest will respect those who stand beside you when the killing starts.”

  “So you realize,” Jason responded, “that no matter what we do, some will die, perhaps even some from the village?”

  “Yes. We do realize that, and some are not happy about it, but everyone has agreed to travel this path together.”

  “I see,” Jason replied, softly looking at Lara’s face. “I'll have to think about this and discuss it with the others.”

  Jason knew everything they were doing was useless if they decided to go back, so his decision would have to be made quickly. Louise had joined them, and had heard most of the discussion; he knew she would be eager to have the group discussion start.

  “Okay,” Jason started, “I’m going to reserve my decision until later. Lou, call everyone together. I want them all to hear this and I want to know what they think.”

  Louise nodded and started getting the others. Soon, everyone was gathered at the dining area. Lara repeated what she had told Jason, and then Jason spoke.

  “I know some of you are eager to move back, and some are not so willing. I haven’t made up my mind yet and I’m willing to hear what each of you has to say. I’m sure all of you know how serious this is.”

  Surprisingly, no one seemed eager to speak. Jason looked from one team member to another. Some returned his loo
k, some turned away, but no one took it as an invitation to speak. He was just about to comment on this when Louise spoke.

  “Jason. I believe the team is telling you that they will follow you, no matter what choice you make. We all realize the implications of each choice and I know that some, like Rick, would be eager to go back. But you are our leader and we will follow you. Anywhere.”

  Lara turned to Jason.

  “It seems,” she commented, “your team has great respect for you and your decisions. I know that a strong and honest person resides in you, and no matter what you decide, we will respect it also.”

  Jason looked at the team again. Going back meant fighting and possibly being killed. But these were soldiers. They knew the score on war. The villagers had said they were willing to help, and even die, fighting alongside them. But the villagers were not part of his team and he felt uncomfortable putting them in such a deadly position.

  Lara could see the turmoil on Jason’s face.

  “If you are worrying about us, Jason, please do not. The cycle of life includes death. And death cannot be avoided. In many cases, we can choose the manner and circumstances of our death, but not always, and we realize this. All of us are willing to put our lives under your direction for this coming battle. In that respect, you are our leader now too.”

  Jason took a deep breath. Somehow, Lara had yet again read his thoughts, and this both scared and relieved him.

  “Okay. We go back,” he announced.

  He looked at the team. Everyone was smiling, and another wave of pride went through him for them. He couldn’t imagine a better group of people.

  “What about Raphael?” asked Pat. “He’s out there somewhere. Shouldn’t we go after him and let him know?”

  “No,” Jason replied, “Raphael made his choice for his own reasons, and those reasons haven’t changed. If anything, the prospect of having some of his friends die has just become a much greater possibility. Let him be. Perhaps he will find some peace.”

  Chapter 10

  Three days of intense travel brought them back to the village. But, unlike the trek out, this time everyone was happy.

  They were about half a mile from the village when Jason called the group to a halt.

  “What’s wrong Boss?” called Sean from behind him.

  “Nothing, Sean. I just wanted to look at the village for a few moments.”

  He wasn’t sure what he was looking for, if anything really, but he felt compelled to stop here for a few moments.

  Lara came to his side and looked toward the village as well.

  “Do you see it?” she asked.

  “See what?”

  “The shimmer around the village. If you look carefully, you can see it surround the village like a bubble.”

  Jason looked more carefully now. Then he saw it, very faintly and fleetingly, coming in and out of focus as he watched.

  “What is it?”

  “It’s the aura of the village.”

  “The what?”

  Lara laughed. “Do you not know about auras?”

  “Not much, and aren’t they only around living things?”

  Lara laughed again and smiled. “And is not the village a ‘living thing’?”

  Jason thought for a moment. “I suppose it is. I’d never thought of it that way though.”

  “Sometimes it’s difficult to look past the ‘living things’ label and see that everything is living, even the things you sometimes would not consider as ‘living’.”

  “You mean like rocks?”

  “And sand, and wind, and sky. For many people, their definition of what is living is very restricted.”

  Jason looked at her, puzzled by what she had just said.

  “I’m not sure I understand.”

  “In time you will. But now, let's get back.”

  Jason nodded, and motioned to the team to move on. As he walked, he thought about what Lara had said, wondering exactly what she had meant, but knowing in his gut that she spoke the truth.

  As they approached, they saw that the entire village had come out to greet them. As Jason scanned the villagers, he saw that every one of them appeared happy to see the soldiers back. And more importantly, he felt that what he saw was true: they were not pretending the feelings they were showing.

  Ka’tel approached the soldiers at the edge of the village.

  “Welcome back, Jason. I am glad you decided to return. And I offer my apologies for our actions at our last meeting.”

  “Thank you, Ka’tel. Apologies accepted. We’re happy to be back, but a bit tired. The trip back has been a long three days.”

  Ka’tel smiled. “I know. We have prepared a meal for all of you, a feast really. Please, lay down your equipment and come and enjoy.”

  Before Jason could say anything, everyone dropped what they were carrying and moved to the main meeting area, where the feast awaited.

  Jason shook his head and laughed to himself. I guess this is one of those times when they don’t need a leader, he thought.

  Jason, Ka’tel, and Lara were the last to arrive at the meeting area. No one had started eating yet, waiting in respect for the respective leaders to arrive and take their seats. This puzzled Jason. In all the meetings and meals that he had been at, the villagers had treated Ka’tel as an equal and had not bothered to wait until his arrival before doing anything. He had laughed at one meeting when Ka’tel had arrived only to find that the reason for the meeting had already been resolved and he was no longer needed. This was a marked change in the villagers.

  He leaned over to Ka’tel.

  “Why are they waiting for us? They don’t normally do anything like this.”

  “That was true in the past. But now, we will follow your lead and your customs. And is it not one of your customs to wait until the leaders have arrived before beginning a meal?”

  “Well, yes. But why are you doing this? Why are our customs so important?”

  “Lara told you we would follow your lead in this fight, that we would listen to what you had to say and contribute to it the best we could. We have decided that to show you this, we will adopt some of your customs.”

  This time Jason laughed out loud, looking to the sky.

  “Oh god. This is too funny.”

  He looked at Ka’tel and saw a puzzled look.

  “Ka’tel. I know you mean well, and I know you mean the utmost respect in adopting our customs. But it isn’t necessary.”

  “We also thought that if we did, we would understand you better. That it would allow a greater bond between us.”

  “The thought means an awful lot to me, Ka’tel. It truly does. But that isn’t what we want. To tell you the truth, I liked the style you and your villagers had for your meetings. To my mind, it worked so much better than anything I’d ever seen, and was so much more respectful of everyone.”

  A smile broke out on Ka’tel’s face.

  “I know you are trying to honor us this way,” Jason continued, “and I am sure it means a lot to every one of us. But we are in this together. As equals.

  “During the trip away, and especially on the trip back, I’ve come to realize that we both have strengths and weaknesses. But not in the same areas. I can see that when we combine our strengths, almost all our weaknesses disappear.”

  “Yes, Jason. I, too, have come to understand that. And I feel for the first time since you left, that we do have a chance at surviving this.”

  Jason nodded in agreement, and suddenly realized everyone was still waiting to start the meal.

  “May I?” Jason asked Ka’tel.

  “Of course!”

  “Okay everyone. I want to thank you for what you are doing here, but please do not wait for us! Go on! Get started!”

  This resulted in smiles from everyone, chatter, and an almost instantaneous grabbing of food. The soldiers had been seated amongst the villagers, who offered their guests first choice of the banquet delicacies.

  Jason laughed agai
n, and turned to Ka’tel.

  “I guess I should have phrased that better.”

  “They understand. They still wish to show their appreciation of your returning.”

  “Sit. Enjoy. This is a feast in your honor and it would not look good if you did not enjoy it.”

  Jason looked at Ka’tel. He wasn’t sure if Ka’tel was serious or not, but decided that he was both, and so he smiled back and dug in.

  Throughout the meal, Jason tried to talk seriously with Ka’tel about what needed to be done, but Ka’tel brushed away all seriousness. By the end of the meal, Jason had given up and resigned himself to enjoying the festivities.

  * * *

  It was quite late when the celebration ended. Ka’tel had already left, and Jason was wandering alone around the eating area. As he looked around, he thought that, in another time and place, the area would have been littered with sleeping and drunken people. But there was no alcohol here, and people had drifted away as their tiredness had overcome them. Now only a few people remained. The laughter coming from the various groups indicated to Jason that they were busy telling funny stories or jokes. The scene pleased him. There was an authenticity here he had never encountered before, and he knew it was good. The meal and subsequent celebrations had brought the team and the villagers closer together than all the times before. Something basic had changed in their relationship. Something he couldn’t put his finger on, but something that could definitely be seen.

  He was more than a little shocked when he heard a voice close behind him.

  “I’m glad you are back with us.”

  He turned and saw Lara. Somehow, she had managed to get close to him without him hearing her.

  “You startled me.”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to.”

  “That’s okay. I’ll live.”

  “I know,” she replied, smiling.

  Jason looked closely at her face. In the light of the torches, it took on a soft, very feminine quality. He felt drawn to her for some reason he couldn’t explain, and a panic came over him.

  Jason saw her expression change, as if she felt his panic.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, “I did not meant to cause you any pain.”

  “You didn’t,” he lied. “It was just something I ate.”

  “You know that’s not true Jason. Why do you feel compelled to hide what you feel?”