Whoever Jesse Donovan was, he was easy to talk to. My heart pounded as I squatted in the grass while he said, “To be honest, beautiful, I haven’t read any emails today. Give me one minute to scan it.”
I beamed like he’d complimented me in person, but it was obviously because he didn’t remember my name. So I let out a sigh and steeled my spine. “No problem. I’m Emily Steel, so my name should be in the email. It came hours ago, and I don’t want to leave it too late.”
“I see that,” he said, but then he hummed like he was relaxing somewhere, too. “It’s still early in California. I was just breaking up with someone, and then took a swim.”
Now, that was personal. I giggled involuntarily. I couldn’t remember anyone talking to me about their life in years. But then I hugged my knees and said, “Oh well, this will only take a minute.”
He said, “Ask me anything you want, sweetheart.”
My spine tingled. I couldn’t brush that one off. His words and the deep gravely sound of his voice sent a thrill through me. I’d never had warm goosebumps from a phone call. But I said, “I’m not your sweetheart.”
“Of course you’re not.”
I shook my head, put him on speaker and opened my notes function to type in the answers as I asked, “Question one: What’s your major?”
“Business. Yours?”
I noted it. “Nursing.”
“Why?”
I blinked, shrugged, and said, “Because I want to help others.”
“There are many ways to help that don’t involve risking your neck. And, that let you make more money.”
Fair. I let my knees go and lay down in the grass. “I’ve been selling my own soaps for years, but that hasn’t let me help many.”
“You make soaps?”
“I do,” I said, and let out a soft sigh as birds chirped above me.
A life where I talked to people normally—without Lana or her clone, Cleo, destroying any potential friendship with their pointed threats—seemed real now. And Jesse, in my mind, was the perfect guy, almost a Prince Charming type. He probably wasn’t, really, but for now, it was nice to pretend that he looked as good as he sounded.
“That’s so cute,” he said. “What’s the next question?”
“Cute” made it sound like my soapmaking was just for fun. My heart thumped that he could believe what he liked about me, and my stepfamily would have no say. I asked, “What are your hobbies?”
“I raise bees in … my backyard.”
“Wow. Now that was an answer I wouldn’t have expected. You sound … privileged.” I pressed my hand on my chest. Maybe he just lived in the country somewhere.
Jesse’s voice somehow had my skin on pins and needles, like he was the sexiest man I’d ever meet. He probably wasn’t, but the tone of his voice charmed me.
“I am.” Without prompting, he added, “And I enjoy reading biographies.”
I scooted to my feet as a car came down the street, but it wasn’t Lana’s silver Toyota Rav4 with the license plate “BEOTCH". It was getting late, though, and she’d want her money from the market. I shook grass from my hair and said, “You’re honest, Jesse.”
This time, he laughed, and the sound of his voice made my pulse quicken. “Glad you think so, Em. What about you?”
I blinked and my mind went blank as my lips actually tingled. I wondered what this man looked like. I’d bet he was way hotter than anyone I’d ever met. I had goosebumps, from a phone call.
“Hobbies?” I asked, to be sure.
“That is the question, no?”
He probably spoke to women all the time and didn’t think anything special about me. And he’d said he’d just broken up with a girlfriend, so a random phone call didn’t mean anything to him. I shrugged and said, “I don’t have many hobbies. I’ve never had time. But I like riding my bike.”
“Motorcycle?”
I glanced at my bicycle, with my soaps all packed into the cart behind it, as it waited on the nearby curb. Bicycles are allowed on the bus, so I could take it with me to Austen.
I shook my head. “No. Two pedals, regular bicycle.”
“That’s cute.”
Hopefully, once I started school, talking to a sexy voice on the phone wouldn’t make my body pulsate. I got ready to take more notes and said, “I guess. Next question. Why did you choose Austen?”
“No one knows me there. I can start over.”
I wrote down his answer. “That’s a good point.”
“What about you, Em?”
I closed my eyes and wished his voice wasn’t just like the summer wind that made me comfortable and calm. “No one’s called me Em in years.”
He said, “It’s your name.”
My father had been the last one to use that nickname for me. After he died five years ago and my brother, Stone, was kicked out of my life, no one had any affectionate nicknames for me. Not that Jesse knew any of that. “I suppose. Everyone just says Emily. But you can call me Em if you like.”
“Why Austen?”
Good. He’d brought the conversation back to the assignment. “Because they had the best financial aid package, and they’re still in the top choices for nursing.”
He let out a long sigh. “Does everyone always talk about the lack of money?”
Honestly, I didn’t talk to many people, but Lana always discussed her pennies and how she saved them with my stepsisters, and I’d had money talks with guidance counselors. I ignored how my hairs were on their ends. “I suppose. Unless, of course, you have plenty and don’t need to worry about it.”
“Can’t we just not worry about it, and not bring it up in conversations?”
I shook my head and calmed down. “Yeah, you sound like a rich boy.”
“What’s the next question, Em?”
I must have prickled him as his voice had gone higher. I shrugged and read the next question off my phone. “What are you doing this summer, before starting to prepare?”
“Not much. A cousin is getting married, so the highlight of this summer is someone else’s wedding. What about you?”
I wrote family wedding and then looked up. I saw the other vendors were all taking off in their cars. I was the last one in the park now. “I don’t have anything as fancy as a wedding. I’m just selling my soaps at the markets until school starts.”
“Will you be making soap at Austen?”
Dorms don’t come with land. I’d have three roommates in an apartment off-campus, as it was the cheapest option, but I just said, “No. I won’t have a garden.” I stood and brushed the grass off my clothes. I needed to move soon, but I asked, “Ready for the last question?”
“Sure.”
I read it over and asked, “What are you most excited for at Austen in the fall?”
“Starting my life over. You?”
“I like your answer,” I said, and took the last note. Then I took him off speaker.
“And, you avoided answering.”
My face heated, but I headed back to my bike and tugged on my free ear. “I … want to be different, too. I want friends.”
“Friends are usually fake.”
I lifted my chin. No matter how tempting his voice was, he didn’t know me or what I wanted.
“I just want to find people to care about, and who care about me.”
“You want a boyfriend.”
Yeah, right. Boyfriends were for girls like Coco who were sweet, and nice, and bubbly. But even Coco, with all those amazing traits, still feared her mother.
I shrugged and settled on my bike. “I don’t know. I’d just like someone to wish me happy birthday.”
“That’s a sweet answer. And, happy birthday, Em.”
His unexpected response sent a spike of adrenaline in my veins. Heat washed down my spine and my fingers tingled. “Thank you. Look, I have to go. But it was nice talking to you, Jesse.”
“You too, Em. Maybe we’ll see each other there?”
Rich boys like him weren
’t ever going to be interested in someone like me, but I kicked the stand on my bike and said, “I don’t think you’re looking for a girl like me in your life, but I will say 'hi' if we meet.”
“I'd like that. I look forward to finding you, Em Steel,” Jesse said.
His voice washed through my ear and I felt like he was someone I could trust. I said “Goodbye” then put on my bright pink bicycle helmet. It was too small for my head and I’d added elastics to the strap to help hold the helmet on.
I’d never spent the forty dollars to replace it, and Lana had never offered.
In my mind, I imagined Jesse as tall, muscular, probably blond, from California, and with a smile that could dazzle me.
He might actually be skinny, pimply and into plaids, but today, as I pedaled home, he was perfect.
So much so, that as I unloaded the cart, I wondered what it would be like to have my first kiss with someone who made my body swoon.
I let my imagination run wild until I showered in my cold outside shower and changed into my night clothes.
As I headed inside to make dinner, Lana called out to me. My eyes widened as I saw she had the mail. One letter caught my eye: Indigo Steel’s name was the return address. My cousin. I’d not seen her in years.
Lana tapped the table and said, “Emily.”
I reached into my pocket and handed her the papers and her share of the money. “Here are the receipts.” She counted the cash and I picked up Indigo’s envelope and asked, “What’s this?”
Lana finished counting her $300 and said, “Your cousin is getting married.”
“She is?” I asked and my heart thumped. Jesse had said a family wedding. It would have been nice to say “Me, too” though that was a silly thought.
Lana’s eyes narrowed and said, “You can’t think you’re going. It’s this weekend.”
“I understand.” I nodded, but glanced at the invitation. California, in a vineyard. Now that sounded like a fairy tale. But I put it down before Lana caught me and went to make her dinner.
Chapter 4
Emily
I finished making the chicken cutlets, vegetables and rice pilaf, and fixed the plates. Dinner hadn’t taken too long. And I refused to bake my own birthday cake or make any dessert. I never did when I worked all day.
Cooking helped me forget that phone call. Talking to Jesse had perked me up in a way I hadn’t expected. Great homework. I made myself a small plate and put it to the side to grab after. Then I placed the food on the tray and headed out for my final chore of the day.
As I made it to the dining room, I heard Lana talking on the phone. Her voice always pricked against my skin like a razor. “Yes, three round-trip tickets.”
I stilled with the plates of food. My heart raced. Was she going to the wedding? Without me? Lana, Cleo and Coco were three. I heard Lana ask, “How much?”
“Fine, we’ll fly coach this time,” she said, and rattled off her credit card number.
Why did she hide me from my own damned family? The tray made noise from the silverware, so I continued into the room as Lana said, “Done.”
Coco’s face was red, like she was embarrassed, as she stared at me.
Cleo glared like I’d interrupted something. I put their food in front of them, but when I made it to Lana I asked, “What’s going on?”
Lana put her credit card back in her wallet and avoided my gaze. “Nothing for you to worry about, Emily.”
“Here is your dinner,” I said, and slid her plate in front of her. Then I ignored how my heart raced and asked, “Are you going to Napa Valley for the wedding?”
“Yes,” she said and placed her wallet in her pocketbook that she had beside her on the seat.
My cousin was the one getting married. I’d read the invitation. I pressed my hand on my heart. “Without me?”
Lana shrugged and poured herself a glass of wine. “Yes.”
My lip curled. “But Indigo is my cousin, not yours.”
Cleo cut into her piece of chicken that I’d made for them. “We’re going to say you’re too busy to come, as you’re off to Austen in the fall.”
Coco stared at her plate but didn’t move.
My pulse hammered, but for once I needed to say something. My brother was close, and if that didn’t work out, well then, I’d figure out my next move. But for once my voice went up. “I thought all Steels were trash and my last name was horrible?”
Lana stared at the tray in my hand. “Emily, mind your manners if you expect to stay here for seven more weeks rent free.”
How did her words still burn through me, like I was wrong? I lowered my head but asked, “But why would my cousin’s wedding interest you three?”
Lana clinked her glass and I gave her my full attention. “She’s marrying a billionaire. I want Cleo and Coco to have a chance to meet people with money.”
I stepped back. I couldn’t last seven more weeks here. I held the empty tray in front of me like a soldier would use his shield. “But none of you are Steels. Only I am. They’d not want you there, not without me.”
Lana shrugged. “I married your father, buried him, raised you—and this invitation had my name on it.”
“But they’re still Steels, horrible as dirt, like me. Remember?”
“It’s a vacation for my daughters, before they leave me.”
“I don’t matter to you at all.”
“No. You’re troublesome and I want a few days of rest from you.”
“Have I been that bad?” I stopped. Raising me would have meant caring, not just putting a roof over my head. I lifted my chin. This was it. “I cooked for you, cleaned, and did everything, on my own. And for my reward, you locked me in the basement every night.”
Lana put her glass down and stood up. Inside, I cringed, as she stepped closer to me. Every click of her heel caused a small creak in the floorboards that sent a tremble in my spine. “I knew it was a mistake to let you stay here this summer. You’re eighteen now and I’m free today of all responsibilities.”
My entire body was rigid, expecting to be struck. “What are you saying?”
She pointed toward the front door. “Get out of my house.”
I lifted my head and adrenaline rushed in my veins. “You’re kicking me out?”
She nodded and stood with her arms crossed, looking down at me. “Yes. Find somewhere else to sleep. I never want to see you again.”
Fire rushed in my blood. I stared at the floor and said, “Fine. I’ll be out in five minutes.”
Her lips curled higher. “Good. I don’t want another scene like I had with your brother years ago.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I said and rushed to grab my clothes and the picture of my parents from my bed.
My skin was cold with fear that she’d change her mind and lock me in at any moment, so I ran from the room and dropped the tray in the kitchen next to my untouched dinner. I probably had plenty of time. She always finished her meals without interruptions.
Downstairs, I padded my underwear with my three thousand dollars that would have to see me through these seven weeks. I wasn’t stupid. She’d check my school bag, so I couldn’t put it there. Instead, I spread it around inside my underwear.
Then I took out my phone and quickly typed.
Stone, please come and get me. She kicked me out.
His three dots stopped me, but I glanced at the door. Energy coursed through me. Any second now, she’d lock me in and drag me out on her schedule. I stuffed my clothes in the school bag—with my parent’s picture on top and Coco’s present that I hadn’t opened yet tucked underneath—and closed it. As I finished, my phone beeped, and I read Stone’s message.
That’s why I came here for this match, Sis. Meet me at the corner store.
For the first time in years I had family again. I’d find a way to repay my brother and be as independent as possible. I shoved my broken phone into my bra as there was no room in my underwear and bounced up the stairs.
Lana stood at the front door. She snapped her fingers at me. “Let me see what you’re taking out of my house.”
I went cold as she opened the bag and sneered at the picture of my parents. I didn’t move as I didn’t want my money to crinkle, but I said, “It’s old clothes and my one picture.”
“You’re so agreeable,” she said, and tossed it back at me.
She opened the door and I said, “When I woke up this morning, I decided to stick it out here for seven more weeks. Not because I cared about you, Lana, but because you kept a roof over my head these past five years.”
She stood in my way and said, “You burned the toast.”
I put my bag on my back, moving carefully so I wouldn’t trigger a strip search. She’d never touched me, but the day she’d thrown my brother out had been explosive. Now it was me. I stared at the street past our small lawn. “Delaying this was stupid of me. I was going to stay because it was easier, and because I’d tried for years to get you to love me.”
She cupped my face and her stare was like she cursed me, straight to my core. “There is nothing lovable about you, Emily.”
Her words were like pins that broke my balloon, and I shrank. Maybe she was right, but I refused to react. “Right. Well, maybe there is. And I’ll find out, once I’m out of here.”
She moved out of my way. “Good luck, Emily.”
“Goodbye,” I said and dashed out of the house.
Once, this had been a home, with my mom and dad in it, but for years it was my prison.
I had no one here. I ran like she was chasing me down the street, but as I made it to the small corner store, I caught my breath.
Maybe I should have left that morning, once my brother had made his offer.
I’d not seen Stone in years. A Lexus stopped outside, and I left the store to see if it was him. A man with huge muscles and tattoos emerged from the car, and I backed up.
Last time I’d seen Stone, he’d been tall but thin, with no tattoo sleeve. But the familiar chin and brown eyes made my heart expand. I stepped forward and asked, “Stone, is that you?”
He hugged me. “Do I look that different, Sis?”
Cinder by Ashes Page 3
