Funny, when I said Gloria, he kind of winced. Maybe it was just the odd lighting.
“No, good man Jon. You can’t negotiate around that rock in the raging river of life. And since you’re fundamentally a stout fellow, you cannot turn this wretch over to me in lieu of yourself.”
“Oh, but I can. Notice how I just did.”
“It’s never too late to put the finishing touches on a contract.”
“I beg to differ.” I turned and walked toward Stingray.
“Wait,” he said with desperation in his voice, “I’ll show you.”
I turned back. EJ unfroze.
“Tell your own self what you’ve done. I know for a certainty you cannot,” said Ralph. He was so confident.
I looked from Ralph to EJ. “You’re totally screwed.” Back to Ralph. “There. I said it. Buh-bye.”
“Wait,” called out Ralph commandingly. “Tell him what you did, because you can’t. You will be unable to live with yourself knowing what you subjected this pitiful creature to.”
“I have zero clue who you are, jerk-wad, but who are you calling pitiful?” challenged EJ. He raised his weapon until he realized it was gone.
“Jon, I made a deal with evil incarnate to surrender my soul in exchange for his help in a completed matter. You are the individual paying the bill. I say again, bye to you both.”
“No,” Ralph stomped his foot. “I have lived forever, and I know every heart. I know all there is to know about you puny humans and your pretentious piety. What you said is not possible. What you are doing is not possible. You must explain.”
“An explanation? That’s information, isn’t it, Ralphie pooh? Info ain’t never free.”
The ground shook momentarily with his anger.
He forced a temporary calm over his face. “What is your price?”
“What is your level of interest?”
“That would be information, my friend.”
“You mean I’ll have to guess at what it’s worth to you? Oh my, put the pressure on me, will ya?”
“Your price.”
I made a show of rubbing my chin. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll write it down on this slip of paper I just happen to have in my pocket. Then I’ll tell you what you wish to know. After that, you unfold the note and see what you owe me.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You could write anything on that slip of paper. You could write many things on it. I’d be a fool to agree to those terms.”
“Of course, you would,” I pressed quickly. “You know every heart, so you know your own. You know a blank check is far too much to pay for learning something, even if it’s the one thing you don’t know. You’re right. I’m sure you can live with that massive hole in your otherwise comprehensive knowledge of humankind’s motivations.” I turned and paced away. I could be such an asshole.
“Stop,” he ordered with consummate hostility. “I will pay your price.”
“Do you happen to have a pen?” I asked.
I’m pretty sure I heard thunder close by.
“No. I do not own a pen.” Dude was shaking mad.
“No biggy,” I replied as I reached into the same pocket where the scrap of paper had been. “I have one right here.”
As I scribbled on the uncertain surface, Ralph started to ask, “If you had a pen, why d … did …” he stopped asking.
“Here,” I said, stepping over to him and folding the paper. “This is my price.”
He crushed it in his palm. “Now I will hear why and how you so casually broke with the morality I know you to have, the morality that forbids you to do precisely what it is you are intending to do.”
I rubbed a cheek. “You want the long version or the short version?”
He leaned his head back and blew hot flames about one hundred meters into the sky. I have to say, I was impressed.
He glared at me. “Let’s start with the short version.”
“Are you certain?” Did I mention what an A-hole I could be?
“Of course, I am certain.”
“You still haven’t told me who the hell you are,” EJ interrupted.
“Short version: because you paid my price.”
Ralph started to pant. Then his panting transitioned into gusts of hot wind ripping in and out of his lungs. Soon I could not hear my own thoughts the cacophony was so great.
Finally, he settled down enough to be able to speak. “I ask how you are capable of doing what you are not capable of doing, and the answer is what I agreed to pay for that information? Jon Ryan, you have gone too far. You are both subject to final and complete …”
“Shut up.” I screamed at maximal output. Darn if he didn’t. “Read my price.”
“He uncrumpled then unfolded the paper. He read it. Then he read it again. Then he held the slip over his head, and it burst into an intense white light, so bright and so hot I was certain it could be seen on the other side of the universe.
I turned to EJ and waved him over. “Come on. Let’s go home.”
THIRTY-FIVE
When I showed up at the vortex with a very live EJ, I received my first reward for being such a damn good do-gooder. The Als were speechless. Not a single word. When I attached my fibers and said Remeeka Blue Green, I got my only verbal reaction, which was yes, Form One. The entire trip was blessedly silent, albeit only a fraction of a second long.
“You ever get used to that nausea?” asked EJ as we debarked in the clearing.
“It definitely doesn’t go away, but it’s not that bad.”
Since I had taken his hand and lead him to Stingray, EJ had been unusually quiet and atypically cooperative. I think he realized something big had just happened. He was willing to be cool, at least until he understood what actually just happened.
“We’re going to that stone building over there,” I said, pointing ahead.
“Who lives there? You?”
“No. Currently it is unoccupied.”
“Then why the he—er, why are we here then?”
“Patience, my friend.”
He harrumphed. “Never thought I’d hear those words come out of your mouth in my direction.”
“It’s a bold new world, perchance.”
“Crap, are you a poet now? I may ask you to take me back to Ralph’s if you are.”
“Come on in,” I said, holding the door open for him.
The place was none the worse for wear. It was only abandoned a little while, and nothing crawly had moved in, and nothing inside had decayed.
“Sit there.” I indicated the kitchen table. “I’ll see if tea is a possibility.”
I was in the separate kitchen area when he called out, “Isn’t this that big liz … dragon Calfada-Joric’s place?”
“Was.” I shouted back.
“Where’s she now, if I might ask?”
“You might ask, but I might not answer. If she wants you to know, I’ll let her tell you.”
“Understandable,” he grumbled. I think the whole acting cordial thing was hard for the guy.
I came back in with two steaming mugs. “It’s not strong, and it’s not good, but it is hot.” I sat across from him.
EJ blew across the surface of his tea and took a sip. “Christ, what is this, fermented horse shit?”
I tilted my head. “Maybe. I’ll ask Cala when she gets here.”
“She’s coming?”
“Yes, though she doesn’t know it yet.”
“What, you going to text her?” He chuckled grimly.
“Not exactly.” I stared hard at him. “Give me the two runes.”
That stiffened his back. He set his mug down. “Why the hell would I do that? One I’ve owned for a very long time, and the other appears to be stuck to my leg with chewing gum.”
“Duct tape,” I clarified. “Double-sided.”
“Naturally. Good stuff. But back to my query. What’s my motivation here?”
“I just pulled off one of the greatest stings of all time for your benefit. Yo
u owe me.”
“If you’re referring to extracting me from the nut-job Ralph’s place, need I remind you who brought me there in the first place?”
“Yes, but I could have left you, and I didn’t. Trust me, you’d have been rather unhappy there.”
“On that, I believe you. He gave meaning to the words ‘unwelcoming turd.’”
“And then some. When the others arrive, you’ll hear the whole of it.”
“If I give you Varsir, will you give it back to me?”
“No. I’ll give it to its proper guardian. Cala.”
“She sure as shit isn’t giving it back to me.”
“I doubt that would ever happen.”
He stared at me a while. Then he reached down and pulled Risrav off his pant leg. He slid it across the table. “That one was yours to begin with.”
“Thank you. Now the other?”
He shook his head. “Not sure I’m willing to do that.”
“It’s part of the price you need to pay for me not leaving you behind. Do you remember when you met me way back when and gave me the plans for the membrane?”
“Sure. What of it?”
“You did the right thing instinctively. I’m asking you to do that one more time.”
That made him think. Finally, he said, “A lot has happened since then. A lot of things I can’t take back. Not sure I’m the same man anymore.”
“You are. We are. Do the right thing. I did.”
“You are the perpetual Pollyanna. I am not. I have no clue why you are and why I am not, but there it is.”
I set my mug down. “I’m not Pollyanna or anything even remotely close. I am two things. One, I’m human. So are you. Two, I’m disciplined. You have not been. Fortunately, it’s never too late.”
“I’d say I’m the exception that proves the rule wrong.”
“You’re a commissioned officer in the USAF. Act like one for a change.”
“The damn USAF? Ah, news flash. There is no US and there is no AF. They’re one, dust; and two, obsolete.”
“Those words mean nothing to me. They also mean nothing to you. It’s in here.” I tapped my head. “And it’s in here.” I tapped my chest.
“What, your CPU storage area and your main power generators?”
“Meaningless words to us both. Do the right thing.”
He squirmed in a manner that pleased me and sipped his tea. “That was billions of years ago. We’re the last two humans, and we’re about as human as a pair of washer/dryers.”
“Wrong, cheese breath. I’ve found direct human descendants and near-variants. Lots of them. We still serve, chum.”
“I’ll go this far. I’ll hand the rock over to you on one condition. If I end this day unconvinced of the wisdom of that act, you’ll give it back to me.”
I sniffed. “No can do. The moment Cala arrives, I’m transferring the curses to her with a no-backs guarantee.”
“No-backs? You mean like cootie protection?”
I shrugged. “Yeah.”
“Christ, you do live in a strange place, don’t you?”
“Guess so. I kind of like it.”
“Crazy people generally say that, you know?”
“Give me the rune.”
He took a deep breath. “Turn around.”
“Beg pardon?”
“You heard me, you freaking fairy. Turn around.”
“Because?”
“I’m going to retrieve the damn stone, and I don’t want you staring at mine.”
I slapped the table. “You hid it there too?”
“Don’t tell me you … Man, I’m sure glad that rock was covered in duct tape.”
I turned my head and listened for the rustling to fade. Then I turned back. Varsir was on the table in front of me.
“Thanks. You did good,” I said as I picked it up.
“You going to wash your hands after, right?”
“Nah, I’m good.”
I took Risrav in my other hand and began clapping the runes together slowly.
**********
“If I don’t hear from Uncle Jon soon, I’m going to go look for him. I’m worried,” said Mirri in a strained voice.
“Calm yourself. It’s not healthy for your unborn child to be exposed to such torment,” replied Cala in a motherly tone.
“I’m serious. He’s been gone …”
“As long as it takes. And we shall continue to allow him to do what it is he needs to do.”
“You know I’m a grown woman? You always speak to me—”
Mirri closed her mouth and blinked her eyes.
“What was tha … and what was that?”
Cala closed her eyes and shook he big head. “I have … no idea but it’s surely ann … annoying.”
“What could do this … ow … to us?”
“When it’s this bother … some, I immediately thin … think Jon Ryan.”
“Really, Cala, at … sheesh … at a time like this how can y … you be so petty?”
“I’m being totally … honest.” Cala stood. “Take my hand.” Mirri reached across and found it. Both their eyes were still closed. “Now relax and come with me.”
They vanished as one.
**********
“I have no idea what you’re doing, but it’s certainly vexatious,” remarked EJ. “Those rocks clink like champagne glasses shattering on the face.”
“They are annoying, aren’t they?”
“Yes, so maybe you could, like, stop doing that immediately.”
“Soon.”
“May I wait outside, you whack job?”
There was a faint pop, then the air in the room charged with static electricity. Cala and Mirri had arrived.
“What the …” began EJ.
Cala opened her eyes and released Mirri’s hand. She dove for the runes but stopped short of touching them. “Stop that irritating practice immediately,” she commanded.
I did. She relaxed and looked to Mirri. I tapped the stones one more time just to be, well, to be Jon Ryan.
Cala raised a clawed-hand toward me but remained where she stood. Gosh, I loved the scaly gal.
“What took you two so long?” I asked. “I’ve been clacking these darn things for minutes.” I poised the rocks to strike them together yet again.
“No, Uncle, please don’t,” whined Mirri.
“Uncle?” exclaimed EJ.
I looked at him sheepishly. “Long story.”
“As to long stories,” said Cala, “I should very much like to hear one beginning now.”
“First things first,” I said. I held the runes out to her. “These I freely pass to you.”
Cala looked at the stones a few seconds, then gently took them from my palms. She looked at them like they were her newly-recovered eggs before they disappeared into a scaly fold.
“I cannot begin to thank you, Jon Ryan. You have done a miraculous thing,” Cala said to me almost piously.
“All in a day’s work, ma’am,” I replied.
“Uncle Jon, can’t you be gracious one single moment?” challenged Mirri.
“Nah, not my style.”
She smiled real big. “I know.” Then she rushed over to hug me.
After Mirri released me and sat, I opened my arms to Cala. “Next.”
She snorted smoke, seriously smoke, and sat with a flop. “In your dreams, human,” she scoffed.
“What, nobody’s going to hug me?” protested EJ.
It was only then that the women took note of his presence.
“No,” Mirri replied coolly. “What is that doing here, Uncle?”
“I would also like to know what is going on,” Cala said, eyeing EJ.
“You guys,” I said holding out my hands, “we’re all just family here.”
“Now I know you’re a few bricks short of a full load, Ryan,” said EJ.
I told Mirri and Cala the entire story of my trip to Kantawir, including my capture of EJ.
“You sneaky son
of a bitch,” said EJ. “You set me up good, didn’t you?”
“That was the plan, Stan,” I replied with a grin.
“Then I took him before Ralph and gave him as payment for my blood debt.”
Cala recoiled her head. “You did what, Jon? How could you force another make good on your debt?”
“I didn’t. I offered me,” I responded pointing at EJ.
“You shaved that moral point very closely, my friend,” Cala replied.
“But he’s here now,” said Mirri. “How is that possible?”
“Yeah, this I want to hear myself,” growled EJ.
“It was child’s play,” I replied, dismissively waving a hand.
“No, it was not. Jon, that demon is both powerful and clever. No one bests him lightly or without supreme peril,” said Cala gravely. “In fact, no one bests him.”
I folded my thumbs into my shirt where my suspender straps would have been if I wore them and tugged the cloth. “I’m three for three.”
Cala whistled. “Damn, you’re good,” she marveled.
“Ain’t I?”
“Knock it off, you clown,” snapped EJ. “How did you do it?”
“I performed an act he knew for a fact I couldn’t possibly perform. I substituted an involuntary victim in my place. He was thrown off by the impossibility.”
“They do tend to have that effect on the mind,” responded Cala.
“But how could you know it would stick in his craw? He might have just chalked it up to experience and eaten my soul, assuming of course I still have one,” EJ said.
“Ah, EJ, think it through. You are as corrupt, as mean-spirited, and as despicable as he is.”
“Gee, thanks for the character reference.”
“I believe I see your point,” said Cala. “The demon wanted you,” she gestured at me, “a good man, not you,” she indicated EJ, “a man as evil as he is.” She chucked softly. “What would be the point in having an eternal companion just as foul as oneself?” She laughed robustly. “He probably feared that sooner or later he’d be your bitch.”
“Gee, thank you too … for nothing,” snarled EJ.
“So, my dear duplicate, I had Ralph by two separate patches of short hairs. One, it was killing him not to know how I could do what I did, and two, he didn’t fancy spending eternity in your company.”
Dragon Fire (Galaxy On Fire Book 5) Page 20
