It was a nice thought, but regardless of what they said, Brian knew better.
Could he have stopped Craig Davidson? Brian believed he could have, if he hadn’t allowed his personal feelings to cloud his judgement. The warning signs had been there, but he hadn’t taken them seriously enough, because he hadn’t wanted to believe that Craig was capable of doing anything truly horrible.
What was that saying? Something about hindsight and 20/20 vision? When he looked back now, it seemed so obvious. Craig’s obsession with Lacie. The change in Craig’s demeanor when Brian warned him off. The unexplained, unauthorized solo trips into the local villages in Afghanistan on that last tour.
At the time, Brian thought Craig was just blowing off steam. The guy had always had an explosive temper, even as a kid. How many times had Brian covered for him when Craig went off and did something stupid? Got a little too drunk? A little too rough?
Brian thought he was being a good friend. A brother. That’s what brothers did, right? They looked out for one another. Craig had had a rough life. It only made sense that he’d have some anger issues.
After everything that had happened, Brian had to consider the possibility that his actions, as well-intentioned as they had been, may have been partially to blame. What if he hadn’t always covered for Craig, instead forcing him to be held accountable for his own actions? Would it have made a difference?
He kept coming back to the same answer: maybe. If Craig had been dishonorably discharged from the Army, chances were they wouldn’t have ended up in that clusterfuck in Afghanistan. But... it might also have gotten Lacie abducted sooner, back before Shane and his brothers would have been able to save her.
Sharp pain sliced through his gut, just as it did every time he thought of Craig’s betrayal. Of him. Of his men. Of his sister.
There were no solid answers to the “what-ifs” that plagued him day in and day out. Brian knew that. But it didn’t stop the dark inner voice from telling him over and over again that he should have known. That he should have done something.
Suddenly the Jeep was too confining. The soft-sided roof and doors seemed to be closing in. Brian grabbed his bag and got out of the vehicle, taking a moment to appreciate the sun on his face. He sucked in a lungful of crisp, early morning mountain air and recited the positive statements that had gotten him through countless times just like this when the darkness tried to take over.
I am alive. I am home. I have a family who loves me. Lacie is happily married to a man who worships the ground she walks on and has a beautiful healthy child they adore. And if there is any justice in the afterlife, Craig Davidson is burning in the depths of Hell, right where he belongs.
It took a couple minutes and some deep breathing, but the worst of the panic passed. A good workout would take care of the rest and make him feel like he was back in control, at least for a little while.
He was just about to enter BodyWorks when the door opened outward and Cole Peterson barreled out, looking none too happy. Brian stepped back out of the way; Cole didn’t even acknowledge him.
For the second time that morning, Brian felt invisible. This instance didn’t bother him quite as much as the first, though. Something about Cole rubbed him the wrong way. The guy was too full of himself, too entitled.
Tori deserves better.
He wasn’t sure where that thought came from, but it probably had something to do with the litany of “what-ifs” and regrets still fresh in his mind. Or maybe he was just thinking about how the douche had left her hanging at the bar.
Of course, that was just his unsolicited opinion. The truth was, he barely knew Tori Donovan, and certainly not enough to say what she did or didn’t deserve. Besides, she was a grown woman capable of making her own decisions. If Cole was what she wanted, well, then, who was he to pass judgment?
Nobody, except the guy who gave her a ride home.
Brian went inside, shoving aside thoughts of Tori, Cole, and everything else except his workout. He was there to tax his body and clear his mind, not muddy it further.
That’s what he tried to do. He kept his head down and minded his own business, focusing on the machines and pushing himself until his muscles screamed from the effort and he was soaked in sweat. It wasn’t his fault the guys around him couldn’t shut the fuck up. By the time he left two hours later, he’d heard a lot more than he’d wanted to.
Chapter Six
The next week passed quietly. Tori got her daily cardio in by running early in the morning or in the evening. On alternating days, she did yoga and YouTube workouts in the comfort of her apartment. Doing so felt comfortable, familiar. As a woman who had to be careful with her pennies, it just made sense, and had the added benefits of limited social interaction and zero drama.
She didn’t need a fancy fitness center to stay in shape. BodyWorks was nice and it was convenient, but she wouldn’t even have considered joining if it hadn’t been for the free trial membership and steep discounts she got through her job at Birch Falls Rehab. Apparently the two places had an ongoing business arrangement. Tori had heard through the grapevine that the co-owner of BFR, Michael Connelly, was a cousin of the Callaghans or something.
That’s how it was with small, close-knit communities like Pine Ridge and Birch Falls. Entire generations lived and raised families there, forming deep roots and lasting connections. That wasn’t a bad thing. In fact, Tori often envisioned settling in just such a place someday. In those idyllic visions, she was married to her soul mate with a couple of little ones, attending bake sales and PTA meetings, block parties and rotating backyard barbecues.
Unfortunately, the reality of being a single, slightly introverted woman with no viable prospects didn’t paint quite as rosy a picture as all that.
It was disappointing, but not unexpected. She hadn’t found her happily ever after yet, but she had faith that she would, eventually. If not in Pine Ridge or Birch Falls, then somewhere.
Someday.
With the right someone.
A vision of bright blue eyes and dark blonde hair popped into her thoughts, but she shook it away almost immediately. She wasn’t ready to put a face to the unknown dream guy with whom she imagined her future, especially when there was no sound, rational basis for doing so. She barely knew Brian McCain. Their paths rarely crossed. And now that she wasn’t going to BodyWorks anymore, they probably wouldn’t.
Unless he would be attending Phoebe’s wedding...
Tori’s mood perked up at the thought. She wasn’t privy to the guest list, but she did know it was going to be a huge affair. Phoebe and Josh were locals—high school sweethearts, in fact—with big families and an even bigger circle of friends.
Originally, she and Cole had planned to attend together, but that clearly wasn’t going to happen now. Should she still go? Attending an event of that size alone was somewhat daunting. She had several “conversations” with herself over it, reviewing the pros and cons.
I don’t like big crowds.
There’s anonymity in crowds.
I’m an outsider.
And you always will be unless you make an effort.
Ultimately, she decided she would go. Being introverted was one thing; being antisocial was another. She liked Phoebe, and Phoebe had always been nice to her. Plus, she’d already sent in her RSVP saying she would attend, and there was that new dress she’d been dying to wear. Tori didn’t have a lot of occasions to dress up.
Of course, Cole would be there, creating the potential for an awkward moment or two, but so what? The wedding and subsequent reception would be large enough to avoid him, and if they did manage to cross paths, well, they were both adults.
What she needed, she decided, was some confidence-building ‘me’ time to bolster her spirits and her self-confidence.
Each night after work for the next week, she did something nice for herself. She got that trim and highlight she’d been thinking about. Splurged on the perfect pair of shoes to go with her dress. Even go
t a professional manicure and pedicure.
By the morning of the wedding, she was actually looking forward to going. She took a long, hot shower, coating her skin with lightly fragranced moisturizing oil afterward. Took her time with her hair and make-up instead of just tying it up in a ponytail. When she gave herself a final check in the mirror before leaving, she felt good about what she saw.
“I’m going to have a good time,” she told her reflection. Even if she didn’t socialize much, she’d still enjoy a nice meal at the Celtic Goddess (when else would she ever get to go to a place like that?) and listen to some music.
Bonus: she wouldn’t be spending another Saturday night alone in her apartment.
Climbing into her rugged Jeep wearing heels and a dress was somewhat awkward, but she managed. Working the temperamental clutch was no picnic either, though things improved when she slipped off her fancy shoes and used her stockinged feet on the pedals instead.
The streets around the church were a tangle of traffic as cars stopped and dropped off passengers in front of the main entrance before moving on to find a parking place. By the time she finally found an open spot three blocks away and walked back to the church, the bells were tolling out an announcement that the service would soon begin.
At least half a dozen ushers were at the back of the church when she entered, seating people as they came in. Tori was escorted to the bride’s side, where she slid in next to an elderly couple and nodded a polite hello.
She took a few minutes to appreciate the cathedral-style space. It definitely had the feel of an old church. Pristine white walls led to an arched ceiling where thick wooden beams divided the surface into panels. Beautiful stained glass windows appeared on both sides with Stations of the Cross mounted between them. The wooden pews in which they sat looked as if they had been hand carved, now polished to a lustrous sheen. Massive flower arrangements of pink, yellow, and white blooms flanked the raised altar at the front, with smaller, matching bouquets placed along the edges of the pews with silk ribbons.
It was breathtaking.
Tori could practically feel the history of the place. She looked around, awed that the grand space was nearly at capacity. The church was clearly a staple of the predominantly Irish Catholic community. How many of these people had been baptized or christened here? Stood at the altar and took their vows? Sat in these pews, finding comfort in one another as they said their final goodbyes?
That was the kind of thing she yearned for. That sense of being connected. Of being a part of something much larger than herself.
Maybe she would, someday.
The haunting sounds of a pipe organ filled the air as people continued to file in. Looking around, she spotted a few familiar faces. Only one of them made her heart stutter and then beat a little faster.
Brian McCain sat on the groom’s side, about five rows up and to the right of where she sat. He was turned slightly, talking to someone next to him. She had a nice view of his clean-shaven profile, and would bet dollars to donuts that the dark gray suit and silvery blue tie he wore looked amazing with his gorgeous blue eyes.
The woman he was talking to laughed, and Tori felt a brief, wholly irrational pang of jealousy. Even as she registered that, her head processed the similarities between them. They both had dark golden hair and similar features. Siblings, perhaps? She found she liked that idea better than thinking the woman was Brian’s plus-one, especially since she had pegged him as kind of a kindred, solitary spirit.
Her theory was confirmed when the man on the other side of the woman leaned in and pressed a tender kiss to her cheek. The man had dark hair and from the back, reminded her of Kieran Callaghan. She had heard there were quite a few brothers and had seen several popping in and out of BodyWorks over the last couple months.
Just as Tori was thinking that, Brian looked back and caught her staring. They held each other’s gaze for a moment, then the side of his mouth curled up in a hint of a smile. The woman next to Brian turned, too, and said something to him, breaking the spell. Tori returned her eyes to the front, determined not to look over that way again.
The organist changed songs and the wedding officially began. A flower girl was the first down the aisle, followed by several bridesmaids and finally, the bride. Phoebe looked absolutely stunning in her gown, and Josh cut a fine figure in his tux. If they decided to have children, Tori thought, they would make some beautiful babies.
The service was nice, if a bit long. She’d never been to a Catholic mass before, so she felt a little lost. Thankfully, the elderly couple next to her knew exactly when to kneel, when to sit, and when to stand, so she just followed their lead.
When it came time for Communion, Tori remained in the pew. The church was packed, so even with three lines—one in the center and one on each side—that part took a while. Tori occupied herself by taking in more of the church and people watching. At one point she broke down and cast her eyes over toward where Brian was and found him re-entering his pew—and looking right back at her. She quickly focused on the Missalette in her hands and pretended she was following along with the Communion hymn.
Then suddenly it was over. The priest pronounced Phoebe and Josh husband and wife, and when they kissed, the church erupted in cheers. The organ belted out the chords to the recessional as the newly wedded couple made their way down the aisle. Phoebe was absolutely beaming with happiness, as was Josh.
Afterward, Tori filed out with the mass exodus. On the way out, she walked past the church lot where several guys were helping to direct traffic. She recognized some of them from BodyWorks. With the happiness vibes still buoying her mood, she greeted them with a smile and a wave.
Neither was returned.
Tori tried not to read too much into that. Maybe they hadn’t seen her in the crowd. Or maybe they were just preoccupied with keeping the flow of traffic moving.
The more she thought about it, the more she was convinced that the sudden chill that had skittered down her spine had been a product of her overactive imagination. She hadn’t done or said anything to warrant a cold shoulder. Why would they be upset with her?
Chapter Seven
Brian flipped the card containing his name back and forth between his fingers. He liked the way Phoebe and Josh set up the seating arrangements at the reception. Rather than having predetermined table assignments, guests collected their name cards from a table at the entrance and sat where they wanted, with whom they wanted.
He’d picked out a corner table, the one farthest away from the bar and the DJ and close to an exit in case things became too overwhelming. He sat with his back to the wall, his eyes scanning back and forth, pausing on the main entrance when someone new entered. Given the size of the wedding, it would take some time for everyone to arrive.
Five people were already seated at the six-setting table. His sister, Lacie, and her husband, Shane Callaghan. Next to them, Kieran Callaghan and his wife, Faith. A few single women had ventured over their way, but Lacie, sensing his discomfort, had done an excellent job of preserving the empty seat.
“So, where is she?” Lacie murmured quietly by his side.
“Who?”
“The woman who was ogling you in the church.”
Brian knew exactly who she was referring to, but pretended he didn’t, offering her one of his innocent smiles instead. “That could refer to so many women, Lace. You’ll have to be more specific.”
Shane snorted and Lacie laughed, just as he’d intended.
“The pretty brunette in the blue floral dress. The one you kept sneaking glances at when you thought no one was looking.”
Shit, he thought he’d been slicker than that. Then again, Lacie was a Kindergarten teacher and a mother. Zeroing in on sneaky behavior was a big part of her job and her home life. If she was going to be pulling ninja moves, then he would as well.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
She rolled her eyes. “Fine. Be that way. But don’t think for a m
inute you’re fooling me, brother mine. I will find out who she is, eventually. Pine Ridge isn’t that big.”
Brian lifted his glass of water and sipped. His sister was as kind and gentle-hearted as they came, but once she set her mind on something, she did not let go. Lacie might have her work cut out for her with Tori, though. Tori was even more of a shadow than he was.
He knew, because he’d been watching for her—surreptitiously, of course. She hadn’t been back to BodyWorks since the day Kieran fired Cole for getting caught with his hand in a client’s cookie jar. Apparently, some of Cole’s buddies had gotten it into their tiny brains that Tori had been the one behind Kieran’s sudden and timely appearance that morning, purposely getting Cole fired.
Brian didn’t believe that for a minute. He didn’t know Tori well, but she didn’t seem like the vengeful type. Would she be justified? Absolutely, in his opinion. Cole was an overgrown frat boy who didn’t think twice about shooting his mouth off or taking a client into an equipment room to win a sophomoric bet.
But Tori? She had more class than that.
Therein lie Brian’s problem. Part of him wanted Tori to show up and show Cole and his buddies that she was above their juvenile shit. Another part hoped she didn’t show, because something about Tori Donovan brought his protective instincts dangerously close to the surface. If she came to the reception, he would feel compelled to watch over her, and he didn’t need his eagle-eyed, always-worried-about-him sister connecting the dots to form lines that weren’t there.
“Ah, never mind. There she is. She looks lost. I’ll just invite her to sit with us.”
Brian’s eyes snapped to the entrance to see Tori there, searching the table for her guest card. How had he missed her?
“Lacie,” he hissed.
She ignored him, slipping smoothly behind Shane’s seat and making a beeline for the entrance.
“I’d just go with it, if I were you,” Shane commented unhelpfully.
Not Quite Broken: A Callaghan Family & Friends Romance Page 4
