She cupped his jaw. Her long fingers were cold against his skin. “Not really. You’ve never made me do anything I regretted.”
There was something in her eyes that convinced him of her sincerity. He leaned down to kiss her. A quick embrace that held shared memories and the hope of finding some sort of peace for the future. She pulled away too soon for him.
“We better get back to work or we’ll never eat,” she said lightly, stepping away from him and moving around the island.
Did she really think one butcher-block countertop was going to stop him? He’d let her back away earlier when her phone rang but he knew they were going to have to come to terms with this sexual attraction between them before she moved into his place. “Maybe I’m not hungry for rabbit food.”
“What are you hungry for?” She tilted her head to the side and watched him with eyes that knew their effect on him.
“Do I really have to tell you?” he asked, coming around the side of the counter and closing the gap between them. He backed her up against the countertop, not stopping until their bodies brushed against each other.
She tipped her head back, exposing her long elegant neck. He lifted one large blunt finger and stroked the length of it. She trembled under his touch and her pulse started to beat more heavily. Her eyes narrowed to slits.
“The only thing on the menu is Greek salad, Jake.”
She wasn’t ready for anything other than teasing, he thought. Right now, maybe that’s all he was ready for too. Marcus had made some interesting points on the phone. A paternity test was only one of the things he wanted from Larissa. He also needed to know why she’d kept her pregnancy a secret.
He stepped away and went back to chopping olives. “Too bad. I had my sights set on something mouthwatering.”
She said nothing but assembled the salad and led the way out to the deck overlooking the Savannah River. She was still nervous around him, afraid to trust him, and she was right to be. He had his own plans and she was only a means to an end. As cruel as that sounded, he couldn’t curb his gut instinct, which told him an eye for an eye.
“Thanks for lunch,” he said while she cleared the plates.
“It was only a salad,” she said.
“It was delicious.”
“Thanks. I’m not really much of a cook.”
“Me either. Luckily I know how to dial for takeout.”
“I can’t eat take-out every night. And it’s really not good for Peter. Or you.”
“I run five miles every morning and play soccer on Saturdays.”
“I…I’ve seen you.”
“When?”
“Last fall. Peter and I were having a picnic at the park. We were packing up to leave when you guys arrived for your game.”
“Why didn’t you say something?”
“I was scared.”
“Of what?”
“My reasons are personal, Jake.”
“Honey, surely not too personal to share with the father of your child.”
“Sarcasm doesn’t become you.”
“Neither do lies you.”
“I’m not lying to you.”
“Not today, right? It’s funny how truth seems to be your ally when you need one.”
“Ally? Are we enemies?”
“Only in your eyes.”
“When did I make us enemies?”
“When you kept my son a secret,” he said savagely.
“I can’t believe we’re going through this again.”
“I’m waiting to hear these reasons of yours, Rissa. Because I have to tell you I can’t believe the sweet girl I knew in college would keep this from me. What other secrets are you hiding?”
Five
Larissa stood and walked into her house, unsure what to say but needing to escape. She paused inside the living room. Portraits of Peter lined the wall. She had spent a small fortune in film developing since he’d been born. She’d filled this empty old house with pictures of her son.
With pictures of the small family that she’d finally found. She scanned the pictures, stopping on one taken only two weeks ago, Peter on the dock with his fishing pole in hand. He’d been aggravated that he hadn’t caught anything and he stared down into the water with the same determination she’d just seen in Jake’s eyes.
She hurried past the photos and entered her kitchen, where she started cleaning. Cleaning had always been a chore that soothed her. It was simple and straightforward, and when she finished she could look back and see what she’d accomplished.
Unlike life, which seemed never to run smoothly. Every time she thought she and Jake had a chance at getting past her deception, his anger reared its ugly head. And she knew he deserved some answers, but the last thing she wanted to do was bare her soul to him.
Jake had always been the one guy she’d wanted. The one guy who’d made her feel like it was okay to be herself. The one guy who…she’d never been able to forget.
She sensed him behind her. She put the rest of the dishes in the dishwasher and turned to face him. He had that bulldog angry look on his face and his arms crossed over his massive chest that told her he wasn’t budging until he got some answers.
She swallowed, twisting the dish towel with her hands. “You’re right. I do have some secrets that I don’t want to share with you.”
“I’m trying to understand. But your lack of trust makes it damned hard.”
“I know. Remember earlier when you asked me about my grandfather?” she asked, sorting through her past and finding one of the things that seemed safest to tell him. Jake came from a wealthy family with history and pride. And she’d never had a real family until Peter. She’d never felt she’d missed out until she’d had her son and realized what life could’ve been like.
He leaned against the doorjamb, no less intimidating in the more relaxed pose. “Yes.”
His black T-shirt stretched across his chest and she wished she’d never left his arms earlier. He was too handsome for his own good. He could be dirt poor and he’d still have a legion of women after him.
If she’d stayed in his arms earlier, nature would have taken its course and she could have avoided this conversation. But she was vulnerable where Jake was concerned. She didn’t want to create any further bonds between them and risk the chance that she’d be hurt when he left. And she knew he’d leave. No man had ever stayed. Starting with her grandfather, before she was even born.
“Well, I never knew him. He and my mom had a falling-out before I was born. He disowned her over her choice of husband.”
“Your father?”
She nodded. No way was she ever going to call Reilly Payton her father. The man had made it clear that society may have demanded he do his duty by her mother, but father was one role he’d never wanted to play. She’d legally changed her name to Nielsen when she’d turned 18.
“What’s that got to do with you keeping Peter’s birth from me?”
She took a deep breath, mentally crossed her fingers and bowed her head. She’d learned early on that if she was going to tell a half-truth it was easier if she wasn’t looking the person in the eye. “I didn’t want your family to disown you because of me.”
“Sweetheart, look at me,” he said.
She glanced up at him, hoping he’d let the subject drop. “Yes?”
“That’s the biggest whopper I’ve ever heard. You know Wes and I are brothers and he liked you. My family could care less about your past or where you came from.”
She’d forgotten about Jake’s college roommate and friend, Wes. Wes was still like a second son to Jake’s parents. But she knew that his parents would have minded having a daughter-in-law who’d done the same thing to their son that her mother had done to the Payton boy twenty-five years earlier. And Savannah society would have remembered it too. The Paytons were old money and her parents had been the talk of the town. If there was one thing those Southern ladies liked, it was scandal and gossip. Larissa had decided long ago she’d ha
d her fill of being fodder for them.
“I’m sorry. The truth is my mom got pregnant to trap my…” She didn’t know what to call the man who’d married her mom and then refused to have anything to do with the child they’d created. Certainly not father. Never father.
“…her boyfriend into marriage. I couldn’t do that to you.”
Jake cursed savagely under his breath. He pushed his hands through his hair and watched her. He entered the kitchen, walking toward her with a slowly measured gait. He stopped when there was about six inches of space between them. But she still felt dwarfed by his physical presence. She tried to step back, but the counter stopped her.
“Did you get pregnant on purpose?” he asked her.
She couldn’t gauge his mood. Suddenly she felt very small and awkward. Wrapping her arms around her waist, she stared at his chest and whispered, “No, I’d never do that.”
Jake took her chin in his large, warm hand, tipping her head back until their eyes met. “Then why would I think you had trapped me?”
She couldn’t think when his breath brushed over her cheek like that. When his eyes looked down on her with a tenderness she’d thought never to see in them again. When he pulled her into his embrace and wrapped his arms around her. Oh, God, this was what she’d been afraid of. Leaning on Jake felt right in the seat of her soul and she knew that he wouldn’t stay, but she couldn’t help herself.
Didn’t want to step away. They didn’t move from each other’s arms until Peter came into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
Her heart was heavy with fears and hope swirled together. She wanted to believe the promise Jake offered her, but she feared as soon as she did, she’d end up getting hurt.
Jake sat on the couch with Peter reading Jake’s favorite book Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Rings to him. Peter was fascinated by the world of Middle-earth and was rapt in his attention.
Jake glanced at the mantel clock. What was taking Larissa so long? “I’m going to check on your mom. Do you want to watch some TV?”
“Yes, please, Daddy,” Peter said with a smile.
They’d had a lot of fun this afternoon together. He and Larissa had told Peter that Jake was his father. Peter had been overjoyed at the news and had started calling him “Daddy” almost immediately. He said the word so often, Jake realized how much his son had missed having a father.
Jake turned the television on and left his son watching Arthur. Larissa had provided a long list of acceptable television programs on a laminated four-by-six-inch card for Jake when they’d moved in. He also had cards on acceptable words to use—apparently shut up, stupid and idiot were forbidden, as well as every curse word. There was an approved food list, which Jake had noticed was lacking his favorite cereal. He’d added it to the list with a Sharpie pen and put it on the kitchen counter where she’d see it when she fixed breakfast tomorrow morning.
He went down the hall to the guest bedroom he’d given Larissa. He didn’t question it, but there was a sense of rightness to having her under his roof. And for him being responsible for her and their son.
It felt right in his gut. He sensed this was what his father must feel when the entire family was assembled at their home. It was the first time he’d ever felt anything in common with his dad and it felt…weird.
He rapped on her door. “You ready?”
“I don’t know,” she opened the door, and nervously stepped back.
“How do I look?” she asked.
She looked too damned good to be someone’s mom. Her dress was a feminine bit of silk that teased him with its demureness. Teased him with the hint of sexuality beneath that flounced skirt ending just above the knees and the scoop neckline that hinted at her cleavage.
“You look fine.”
“Just fine?” she asked, hurrying back over to the mirror and patting her hair once more.
“What’s wrong with fine?” he asked, lounging against the door frame. He was fascinated to see the normally unflappable Larissa so unsure of herself. He’d never known her to worry about what she was going to wear.
“I’m meeting your family for the first time. Plus I’m bringing scandal down on them. I think I should look better than fine.”
She did, but he wasn’t going to reveal anything more to her. Her features were drawn and she looked more nervous now than she had in the doctor’s office earlier when they’d had the paternity test done.
He left the doorway and entered the room. The bed was piled with discarded clothing. He wondered if this went back to what she’d said the other day about her grandfather. How did knowing your family had rejected you before you were born affect someone? For all his problems with his father, he knew the old man loved him and would always be there for him.
“What’s this all about, Rissa?”
She sighed and sank down on the clothes strewn on the double bed. “I don’t want to go.”
He sat down next to her. Her perfume was faintly floral and sexy to him. But then everything about Larissa was. He reached for her hands, which she had clenched tightly into fists on her lap. He pried her hands open and held them loosely in his own.
She tipped her head to the side and looked up at him. It was a beseeching look that made him want to give her whatever she asked for. But at the same time, they were in this predicament because of her actions. He lifted one eyebrow in silent question.
She licked her lips and then turned her head toward her lap again. “It was hard enough telling you about Peter. I don’t think I can face your family.”
“There’s no other choice. You have to go with me so we both know how to handle the media. Nicola was clear on that point.”
“I wish Jasmine Carmody had never called me,” she said, looking up at him again.
“I’m glad she did despite the trouble she’s caused. Jasmine Carmody has given me my son.”
Larissa said nothing, but her eyes revealed the truth. And the truth wasn’t a pretty and nice thing. It was that this woman would have rather run away than face him with the news of his own son.
He cursed under his breath and stood, walking away from her. Every time he thought he’d forgiven her, he was reminded he hadn’t. Spending two hours in the toy store with his son had gone a long way toward showing him what he’d missed out on all these years. And now she was telling him again that she regretted telling him the truth.
He clenched his fists and walked toward the front door. “Get your purse, Larissa. We’re leaving.”
“Jake…”
He didn’t pause or turn to look at her. She’d made her decisions. Now he’d made his. He’d see Marcus tonight at Crofthaven and set the custody suit in motion. It was obvious to him, no matter what Larissa said, she couldn’t be trusted where Peter was concerned.
He was willing to cut her a little slack because of her upbringing, and he understood that she’d had a rough shake early in life. But Jake wasn’t responsible for another man’s mistakes and he wasn’t going to keep paying for them.
Her hand on his arm stopped him and he pivoted to face her.
“I’m sorry,” she said suddenly.
He realized she was trying to tell him something else. But he’d never been good at reading minds and didn’t think he was suddenly going to get better at it.
“For?”
“Everything.”
“Don’t be sorry for everything. That’s too big a burden for your shoulders. We’re both responsible for this mess and I’m not going to let you continue to carry it alone.”
Larissa felt small and very out of place in the grand foyer of Crofthaven. Peter leaned closer to her and she stooped to pick up her son as Jake gave their coats to Joyce Jones, the housekeeper. Jake exchanged pleasantries with the woman and then cupped his hand under Larissa’s elbow, leading her down the hall.
“Where are we going?” Larissa asked.
“To the library. Relax.”
“I can’t. This place is intimidating.”
<
br /> “It’s just a house,” he said.
“It’s not just a house. It’s a historical landmark. It’s your family’s mark on Savannah and I feel like an interloper.”
“Relax,” he said again. “I didn’t grow up here.”
He rubbed Peter’s head and their son glanced up at him. “Ready to meet your family?”
Peter didn’t answer, just stuck his thumb in his mouth and held tighter to her neck. “Maybe I should have gotten a sitter.”
“We don’t need a sitter,” he said. “What a couple of cowards you two are.”
“Am not,” Peter said, squirming in her arms to be put down. “I’m just as brave as Frodo.”
Jake ruffled his son’s hair. “I knew you were.”
Peter glanced up at Larissa. “Mommy’s not so brave.”
“Then we’ll be brave for her,” Jake said, stooping down to Peter’s eye level.
Peter nodded and slipped his hand into hers. He gripped hers tightly and smiled up at her. And she felt an infusion of love for her son and for his father. Jake was taking this task of being a father very seriously and she regretted that she’d waited so long to let him know he was a dad.
“Ready?” Jake asked.
She nodded and followed Jake into the library. The librarian in her was in awe. Private collections like this one were the stuff dreams were made of. She almost forgot her nerves. Despite his courageous words in the hall, Peter seemed to have picked up on her apprehension and now clung to her leg. She rubbed his back, focusing on Peter and not the others in the room.
There were five people in the room. Jake’s uncle, Abraham Danforth, and Wesley Brooks were at the computer desk on the far side of the room. She knew Wes from college, “Honest” Abe from the articles she’d read in the newspaper about him and his family. Abe was the patriarch of the Danforths, a retired Navy Seal who was currently running for the senate.
There was a couple on the couch who stood when they entered. They had to be Jake’s parents. There was too much emotion in their gazes for them not to be. They both eyed her and Peter with curiosity. The other woman with gorgeous red hair and bright green eyes was taller than she was and Larissa was no shorty at five-seven. She had to be Abe’s PR manager.
Sin City Wedding (Dynasties: The Danforths Book 3) Page 5
