by Calia Read
I drudge up the image of Scarlett and try to imagine spending the rest of my life with her. It doesn’t seem right. I know my feelings show on my face because Livingston leans in.
“I’m not suggestin’ you have to fall madly in love with the next woman you see. Many couples in the world are married and not in love.”
“What are you suggestin’?”
Livingston’s lips draw into a thin line. “That you begin the slow process of movin’ forward with your life. I know I sound harsh, but I’m not tryin’ to be. I love Serene as if she were my sister, but you admitted you want a family. You admitted your desire to carry on the family name and your business to your children. You are not gettin’ any younger.”
“I think you’re right.”
Livingston pulled away. His eyes widened in shock. “You do?”
I nodded. “Of course. What you are sayin’ is within reason. But before I imprudently follow your suggestion, I am gonna do one last thing.”
His face fell. Groaning, he rubbed his temples. “That would be?”
“Hire a private investigator to find Serene.”
“Which one?”
I smirked. “Both.”
My brother appeared more intrigued than anything else. “And if you find neither?”
“Then you have my word I will give up. You have my word I will begin the process of findin’ a woman to marry.”
Immediately after our conversation, I did exactly as I said and contacted an investigator, giving him Serene’s first and three alternative last names: Lacroix, Quentin, and Parow. The expression he gave me was priceless.
He promised he would get back to me with results. And he did; although they were interesting, to say the least. However, the information never brought any news about my Serene. There was no surviving trace of her.
The days turned into weeks. The weeks into months. Every day that Serene didn’t return was agony. The pain never faded, and the moments that were okay would swiftly remind me of her in small ways. Such as Nathalie coming home with a new outfit, and blurting out, “I wish Serene was here. She would love this color!” The instant the words were out, she looked at me, widened her eyes, and covered her mouth before she quickly walked away.
It was as though a dagger was shoved through my heart.
Livingston’s words began to carry some weight. Perhaps, he was right. I would always love Serene. She would possess my soul in a way no other woman could, but maybe it was time to accept that I could never have a life with her.
The first letter I wrote to Scarlett was agony. My words were formal and stiff, but as I placed the letter in an envelope, I looked around in paranoia.
Belgrave had eyes. The walls saw my betrayal and marked every move I made. When I stood from my desk, guilt clawed its way from my chest and wrapped around me like a noose.
I was going insane. Courtesy of love.
Two hours and five rough drafts later, I left my office bone-deep exhausted and with Serene’s face at the forefront of my mind.
Scarlett wrote back. She was kind in her letters. More open with her feelings. I would pore over them with a fine-tooth comb, searching for anything to connect us, but I felt nothing. Yet I kept writing to her, and she continued to write back. She made an impromptu visit with her family this past September. Jack asked what my intentions were, and I knew her family was waiting for me to propose.
A month ago, days after Christmas, I proposed to her with the approval of her father. Her family was elated. Livingston merely nodded. Nat stared at me with confusion, her head tilted to the side before she jolted at the sight of Scarlett standing next to me and rushed forward to congratulate us. She hugged her friend first, then me. Before she pulled away, she whispered, “Etes-vous vraiment sûr?”
Wordlessly, I stared at her, allowing the truth to shine in my eyes.
Nat’s face fell. “Oh, Étienne.”
It has been a month since the engagement. Scarlett’s family traveled back to New York, but Scarlett and her brother arrived in Charleston three days ago. Since then, I’ve seen her frequently. Each time, she has brought up the subject of our wedding. I know if she had it her way, we would be married next week at Belgrave.
That is too fast for me. I still need to process I’m going to have a life with someone who isn’t Serene.
“Where is your head, Étienne?” Scarlett asks. Her voice is soft. So soft I can hardly understand her and sometimes have to ask her to repeat herself.
Today, we’re strolling outside. Cars pass on the road. Bells jingle on doors as customers walk in and out of stores. Conversations carry across the sidewalk.
She speaks a decibel louder to be heard over the noise.
I tug at the collar of my dress shirt. It’s too tight. Is it always this tight?
I glance at Scarlett. “I am thinkin’ about a new company I’m contemplatin’ investin’ in.”
If Serene were here, she would ask a whole slew of questions about the company before she gave her opinion. Scarlett does none of that. “Oh, dear. I apologize if I’m keeping you from work.”
“Nonsense. I had a lovely lunch with you. Now, what where you sayin’ earlier?”
Her face lights up over my question. “All I said was my mother and I found the perfect wedding dress before I came here.”
“That’s nice,” I say, my voice hollow.
She looks at me with adoring eyes. “Also, I was pondering the size of our wedding party. My mother brought up where our wedding should...”
While I continue nodding, I subtly turn my head to the left and tug at my collar. It’s too tight again.
I glance across the road and see a blur of red hair that makes me stop in my tracks. I drop Scarlett’s hand and step closer to the road. Model Ts intersect my view, and I stand on my tiptoes to get a better view.
There’s a lull in traffic. The dust kicked up from the tires settles, and there she is.
Serene.
Her unruly hair is down. She’s wearing a white dress shirt that hugs her curves, the top button is loose, and when the wind picks up, the collar pulls back, revealing her slender neck. Her black slacks are high waisted and loose around her legs, giving the illusion that she has legs for days. Another scandalous outfit.
My feral child.
My heart sputters and picks up speed, and my lips kick up in a small grin because suddenly everything is okay. Serene is back.
But Serene doesn’t return my smile.
Scarlett comes up behind me, and I can feel my face drain of all color. My eyes close; I forgot all about her. She gently places a hand on my arm. “Étienne, what’s wrong?”
I open my eyes in time to watch as Serene’s eyes bounce back and forth between Scarlett and me before they land on Scarlett’s ring finger. Her brows slant low as she takes a deep, shuddering breath.
“Nothin’,” I reply, my eyes fixed on Serene.
Slowly, I shake my head, trying to capture Serene attention, but she won’t look my way. Her gaze is fixated on Scarlett’s ring finger.
“Serene,” I mouth right as she takes a step back.
Scarlett says my name, but I ignore her. I disregard everything around me. My stride is purposeful as I shrug her off me and walk across the road. Cars honk, and drivers stick their heads out of the window, shouting at me.
My eyes are fixated on Serene.
When she takes another step back, I quicken my pace. “Serene!” I shout.
She continues to back away. Her face is pale white. I want to tell her that what she saw between Scarlett and me is not what she thinks. Nothing is as it seems.
Scarlett continues to call out for me when my feet land on the sidewalk. I’m mere steps away from Serene. Seconds tick by. A tremor wracks through me as I stare at her. And then she turns and runs.
I don’t mimic her actions. Instead, I steadily trail behind her, knowing that my legs will eat the distance between us. I’ve lived in Charleston my whole life, but Serene hasn’t. She�
��s bound to get lost.
But she keeps running, so I pick up the pace because there’s a deep-rooted fear inside me that she’ll run fast enough, and time will suck her back into some unknown vortex, and I’ll never see her again. Soon, I’m running. I jump over a small wagon a little boy has in the middle of the sidewalk.
“Serene Lacroix!” I roar.
She keeps running as though I’m Satan in human form, nipping at her heels. She turns the corner onto Meeting Street, and I suppress a groan; I didn’t know she could run this fast.
“I can explain!” I shout at her retreating form.
Her strawberry blond hair flies behind her like a banner as her long legs kick up behind her, and she runs straight into the heart of the city, Washington Square.
I don’t think she notices the palmetto trees or the wrought-iron gates bordering the small property. I don’t think she sees the light pink and magenta azaleas blooming around her. I know her well enough that she would’ve stopped and stared by now if she had. No, she’s furious at me, and it has taken over her entire body until all she wants to do is escape me. But she’s running out of space. Her steps begin to slow as she spots the gates and trees in front of her. Within seconds, I swallow the distance between us. My hands encircle her waist as I tackle her as if she’s a thief who’s stolen something from Belgrave.
We fall to the ground with a giant thud. Serene groans, and I try not to let the full impact of my body slam into her.
My legs become tangled with hers, and as I take a deep breath, Serene begins fighting me. “Get the hell off me!”
Her hands claw at my face
“No! Not until you calm down.”
Her eyes are fire. She’s furious at me. More than that, she’s hurt and confused. “Serene, stop!” I shake her shoulders. “Please.”
With her hair in every direction and her cheeks red from running, she stops moving and stares at me, panting. Slowly and hesitantly, I lower my head until my face rests in the crook of her neck. I forget that I’m in a public place where anyone can see me. I forget that it’s been two years since I’ve seen her last. Her body still perfectly aligns with mine. I breathe her in and suppress a groan. She still smells the same, feels the same. It’s as though no time has passed.
I don’t know how it happens, but my lips connect with the side of her neck and move upward. She squeezes my hands. I squeeze back.
“Étienne,” I vaguely hear her say. “Don’t.”
Lifting my head, I stare at her in a daze. “You’ve been gone for two years, Serene,” I whisper fiercely.
She’s still panting. Every time she breathes, her breasts brush against my chest. I know it is imperative the two of us speak. I need to make her realize I still love her, and I always will. But now that I’ve had contact with her skin, I’m dying for a taste of her lips. It’s been a long, long time.
As if she can sense what thoughts are running through my head, Serene’s eyes widen.
“No.” She shakes her head, her fingers latching onto the material of my dress shirt. She claws at the material until it’s bunched up in her small fist. Heat from her hand transfers to my skin. It seeps into my pores and causes my heart to pound like a drum. I know she can feel it. Serene exhales a shaky breath. “Answer me one question. Are you engaged to that woman I saw you with?”
Serene ran because she saw the truth. One of the reasons I love her so much is she’s remarkably astute and doesn’t try to hide it. I don’t want to hide the truth from her. I never want to do that. However, I never want to hurt her either.
Her grip tightens on my shirt as though she’s drowning and I’m a lifeline. “Étienne?” she prods. Her voice cracks on the last syllable of my name.
I swallow loudly. “Yes. I am engaged,” I confirm. “Her name is Scarlett.”
Serene does not yell or cause a scene. No fists fly in the air. No knees connect with my groin. She closes her eyes for a few seconds, and when they open, they’re glassy. She lets go of my shirt and lowers her hand. Her body becomes rigid. I can imagine the cast-iron shield being built around her heart. I’m losing her right before my very eyes, and she just came back to me.
“Get off me. Now.”
The words slip from her tongue, composed and quiet. They send a shiver down my spine because a controlled Serene is a terrifying Serene.
If I don’t let her go, the probability of her kneeing me between the legs and rendering me incapable of ever having kids is incredibly high. If I do let her go, the chances me of holding her again are low. I’m in a no-win situation
Ever so slowly, I stand and extend a hand for Serene because I can’t bear to see the pain in her eyes. She ignores my hand and stands on her own.
Dusting her pants off, she crosses her arms and scans the park. “How long?”
I drag my hands through my hair and sigh. “A month.”
She nods several times. I watch helplessly as her throat constricts. Serene’s close to tears, and it’s killing me not to reach out and wrap my arms around her. I step toward her. She holds a hand out, stopping me in my tracks.
Birds chirp in the trees. On the opposite side of the brick wall, cars drive down the road. People are going about their life while mine has come to a grinding halt.
Silence is something I crave. People waste words too often. However, the silence between us is strained and unbearable.
I know Serene feels the tension too because she wordlessly walks away.
“Where are you going?”
She stops and looks over her shoulder at me, her mouth opening and closing. “I don’t know. I just—I just—”
“I still love you.”
At that, she whirls around and storms back to me. “That’s bullshit. You’re marrying someone else!”
“Because I didn’t think you were ever comin’ back. Didn’t you hear me? Two years! You’ve been gone for two years.”
She swallows loudly. “I thought you would wait forever.” She stabs her index finger into my chest. “You’re Étienne.”
I capture her index finger, and one by one, I grab each finger until I’m holding her hand against my chest. “I’m still human.”
“I thought you were stronger than that,” she says quietly, disappointment coating her words.
So did I, my heart whispers.
I could say that. However, I don’t believe anything I say will have much effect on Serene right now. A small part of me is afraid I’ve destroyed the relationship I once coveted. If that is gone, then I am ruined.
“What would you do if you were in my place?”
Serene stares at me and instantly answers. “I would wait. Forever.”
I drop her hand, and she immediately backs away. “It’s easy to say that when you’re not the one bein’ put through hell.”
“You don’t think I’ve been through hell? I’ve suffered without you!”
Serene’s words linger in the air as the two of us stare at each other.
“Étienne?”
My eyes close when I hear Scarlett’s voice behind me. “Is everything okay?”
When I open my eyes, Serene is staring to the left at the cars on the road. Her eyes are glassy, but her jaw is clenched. She’s not going to give anyone the satisfaction of seeing her cry.
Scarlett approaches and places a hand on my arm as she stands next to me. Her blue eyes slowly look Serene up and down. “Whom are you speaking with?”
Serene still won’t make eye contact with me. The same can’t be said for Scarlett, though. The glare Serene shoots in her direction should have her writhing on the ground.
Clearing my throat, I gesture in Serene’s direction. “This is Serene Lacroix.”
I can feel Serene and Scarlett’s eyes on me. I don’t know why I let that slip out. It wasn’t a habit. In fact, I’ve gone two years without saying Serene’s name except for in my mind. But aligning her name with my last name felt right. Like lying down in bed after a long day of work.
Scarlett�
�s doe eyes widen. “Lacroix? Is she related to you?”
My mouth opens, but Serene steps forward. “You could say that. I’m his ex-wife.”
This time, Scarlett and I do the staring. Scarlett’s mouth drops open, and I want to grab Serene by the shoulders, shake her, and tell her to stop talking. When she’s mad, she turns into a spitfire. Her weapon of choice is her words, but I don’t know who she wants to hurl them at more—Scarlett or me.
“Étienne, I didn’t know you were once married,” Scarlett says, hurt coating her words.
“I’m not surprised,” Serene chimes in. “Seems like your beloved fiancé has been hiding a lot from you. All you need to know is we were married and split up, but the problem is, Étienne never gave me what he promised.”
“And that would be?” Scarlett challenges.
For once, Serene appears stumped. Her eyes briefly flick away, before they widen. My stomach churns. Ah, hell. This isn’t good. “He didn’t give me the money I was entitled to.”
Scarlett bright blue eyes look my way. “You didn’t?”
My teeth grind together. I shoot a glare in Serene’s direction. One that says, “I’m gonna kill you...after I kiss you.”
“Apparently so,” I manage to say.
“Without the money, I can’t move forward with my life. So I’m back, and I’m not going anywhere.” Serene gives me a smile that is anything but serene.
I shift my body until my shoulder brushes against Serene’s. “What are you doing?” I say out of the corner of my mouth.
Innocently, she stares at me. “Whatever are you talking about, Étienne? I’m not doing anything. I’m simply stating the facts.” Her arched brow says it all. “This is war, and I won’t stop until you’re kneeling in front of me.”
I swallow because I know what this woman is capable of. Tell her woman is made from man, and she’ll break your clavicle with a smile on her face. But that’s what makes her so fascinating to me. She goes head to head, toe to toe with me in a way no one else can.
“Étienne,” Scarlett interrupts. “What is happening right now?”
Reluctantly, I tear my gaze away from Serene and look at Scarlett. Her big, innocent blue eyes stare back at me. They’re filled with confusion but not anger. She adjusts the brim of her black hat, the massive violet ribbon swaying in the wind.
