by Calia Read
“Well, spoiler alert: they sold off a lot of land, and now they have significantly less of it. The end.”
Livingston drops his face into his hands. So much for heeding his advice.
For the rest of the meal, I keep quiet. And as the seconds tick on, as laughter drifts around me, so does my energy. I’ve given it all I’ve got. I’ve put on a brave face, and I’m ready to go.
Finally, after what feels like hours, Étienne pushes back his chair and announces the guests should make their way up to the ballroom. Everyone heartily agrees.
My shoulders deflate. I don’t want to dance, and I definitely don’t want to watch him with Scarlett. I’d rather jump off the roof. Scarlett stands with the rest of the guests.
I glance at Livingston and notice he’s not moving, so I mimic him. Nicholas is already standing and bends down to speak to me. “I trust you’ll be in the ballroom shortly?”
Wordlessly, I nod, and he walks away. Étienne notices the exchange, scoots away from the table, and slowly stands. As Nicholas walks around the table, Étienne stops him, and they speak briefly. Nicholas nods and escorts his sister out of the room. The two of them trailing Oliver and Nat.
A few guests remain in the dining room, but it’s starting to thin out. I know Étienne is waiting me out because he’s furious about the riding comment. But he can confront me about it later.
Livingston finishes the rest of his drink and scoots his chair back. I mimic his actions and practically jump from my chair. He gives me a strange look as I loop my arm through his.
“Let’s go. Please, Livingston,” I whisper. My pulse is beating so rapidly, and sweat is coating my temples. I feel as if I’m on the verge of a panic attack.
There’s no need to say more. Livingston knows why I can’t be here.
He pats my hand before giving it a firm squeeze. “All right. All right,” he soothes.
The only way out of the dining room requires us to walk directly past Étienne. Panic causes my heart to race. I’m starting to feel like a trapped animal.
Étienne stands by the doorway and crosses his arms over his powerful chest, appearing as though he has all the time in the world. Lucky for me, another guest strikes up a conversation with him. Reluctantly, Étienne shifts his attention to them.
I take the opportunity and quicken my steps until Livingston and I are nearly jogging out of the dining room.
I don’t look back, and I don’t slow my speed until the two of us are safe in his car. It’s only when we’re halfway down the long, winding driveway that I take a deep breath. I narrowly avoided Étienne.
This time.
Later that night, I’m in the sitting parlor. My knees touch and my butt is perched on the edge of the couch as I stare at the paper placed on the coffee table. Repeatedly, I tap my borrowed pen against my lower lip and try to think if I’m missing anything.
Even though it’s only been a mere twenty-four hours since I’ve arrived in Étienne’s time, I still feel as though I’m not making a conscious effort to find the answers I need to go back to the present day. Étienne told me he would send a telegram to Asa, but there’s so much that needs to be done that when I think about it, I suddenly become overwhelmed and want to walk away from it all.
The best thing to do is create a list and put a check mark next to each item. So far, I only have three things on the list.
1. Send a telegram to Asa
2. Ask Asa about the letters
3. Find Emmeline’s address
It wasn’t much, but I felt if I could cross those three tasks off one by one, then I’d be closer to finding the truth. I stare so hard at my small list the words blur together. Nothing will happen tonight. I know that. Yet I can’t shove down the hope blossoming inside me because my gut tells me I’m onto something.
The duration is going to be longer than I want, though.
Unhurriedly, I stand and stretch, ignoring the kink in my neck from being hunched over the paper so long. It’s time to go to bed. Tomorrow morning, I can look over my checklist.
With the paper and pen in my hands, I walk up the stairs, my footsteps sluggish and eyelids heavy with sleep. Focusing on finding my great-great-grandma and Asa Calhoun allowed me to dismiss today’s events from my mind. At least for a little while.
Once I reach the second floor, I walk toward my room, intent on changing and falling into bed. But I see a sliver of light beneath the library door. I stand in front of the closed door for a few seconds before I knock once and turn the knob.
When I peek my head in, I see Livingston’s head bent over vast sheets of paper stretched across the desk with his brows furrowed. The minute he sees me standing there, he flips the papers over.
Tentatively, I walk deeper into the room and try to peer at the papers. What the hell is he doing?
“Hello, Serene,” he greets.
I smile slowly. “Did I interrupt something?”
“No,” Livingston rushes out. “N-no. Not at all.”
I arch a brow. It’s rare to catch Livingston off guard. He appears to shuffle stuff around, but all he does is place items on top of the papers on his desk.
“Is there somethin’ you need?”
I dangle the pen in front of me. “I borrowed this earlier. Wanted to return it before I went to bed.”
Livingston quickly leans forward and takes the pen from my hand. “Oh, thank you.”
Rather than leave, I fold the paper in my hands in half, look at Étienne’s twin from beneath my lashes, and ask the golden question people have asked me so many times. “Are you all right?”
Livingston gives me his megawatt smile. “Yes. You simply caught me off guard.”
“I can see that.”
“I will not tell you.”
“I wasn’t going to ask.”
“You want to know. I can tell,” Livingston remarks.
“You don’t know me that well.” The truth is I’m dying to know what he was doing. I’m nosy by nature. Whatever he was doing can wait, though, because I have something more pressing to ask.
“I’ve been thinking about something since we left Nat’s engagement party.”
“Dare I ask?” Livingston teases.
“It has nothing to do with Étienne and her.”
He leans back in his chair. “What’s on your mind?”
“When I saw Ben, he didn’t know me. And I couldn’t help but wonder if certain people remember me and some don’t?”
“Ah, I had a feelin’ he was gonna be mentioned.”
Sighing, I sit on the settee, staring at Livingston with frustration. So many questions. Never any answers. “When I walked into Belgrave today and said hi to Ben, he had no idea who I was. Is that how it’s going to be around here? Some people remember me, and others don’t?”
Livingston is uncharacteristically quiet before he nods. “Perhaps, yes.”
“Why?”
He sits up in his chair and levels a somber look in my direction. “Perhaps you didn’t change his life.”
I frown. “How so?”
“The fire that was supposed to sweep through Belgrave and kill my siblings and some servants...maybe Ben was not one of those servants. Therefore, you didn’t affect his life, his history...”
“His destiny,” I provide faintly.
Livingston winks at me. “Exactly.”
“So Asa should remember me?”
“I’d say the chances are incredibly high, yes.”
“Well, what about Old Serene and her family? Whatever happened to them?”
“Étienne and I have had numerous discussions about this over the past two years. We each have our own theories.”
“What’s yours?”
Livingston glances at me before his lips kick up in a small smirk. “I don’t believe she was ever supposed to exist. I think you were always meant to come back to this time, and she was merely fillin’ a role until you were ready to take over.”
Goose bumps break out across my
skin. I’d be lying if I said the thought hadn’t crossed my mind, but to hear someone else say the words gives me a small sense of validation.
Lacing my fingers together, I stare down at my lap. “What is Étienne’s theory?”
“I don’t know. Perhaps you should ask him.”
My head whips up. “That’s not happening.”
“How long are you goin’ to be at war with him?”
“How long is he going to keep up this false charade of getting married to Sallie?”
“Scarlett.”
“Answer the question,” I say without missing a beat.
“Is that what you truly desire? For him to call off the engagement?”
“Yes!”
“You want him to spend the rest of his life waitin’ for you, with no guarantee that you’ll come back to him, while life passes both of you by?”
That question makes me hesitate.
“Doesn’t seem like much of a life for either one of you, if you ask me. You both deserve to be happy.”
“Étienne was once my happiness,” I say, my voice cracking.
“You are still his happiness,” Livingston says gently. He stands, and when he’s in front of me, he crouches until our eyes are level. “You understand that, right?”
“If we are each other’s happiness, then why are you trying to tear us apart?” I counter.
Livingston’s mouth opens and closes. Not a word comes out. He finally gives up and shakes his head.
It’s damn near impossible to stay mad at Livingston, but a part of me still burns from his betrayal. I hold so much anger for Étienne. I don’t want to direct more toward Livingston.
I feign a yawn. “I’m tired. I’m going to bed.”
Livingston stands and holds out a hand for me to take. We both know I’m looking for a way out of the conversation, yet he doesn’t call me out on it.
I’m almost to the doorway when the sound of his voice stops me in my tracks.
“You’re not truly considerin’ going horseback ridin’, are you?”
“Of course,” I reply innocently. I turn and face him. “Livingston, I was invited. And every Southern woman knows it’s rude to turn down an invite.”
“Oh, Lord,” he mutters under his breath. “Ignore what I said this afternoon. You’re not a Southern woman. Simply be...” He spreads his hands out in front of him. “Serene.”
“So you want me to be Étienne’s worst nightmare? Okay. Now that I can do.” I walk toward my room. “Good night, Livingston,” I call out.
News of Serene’s arrival spreads like wildfire across Charleston.
It was to be expected. Serene doesn’t quietly walk into the room, so why would it be different for the people she meets? The fact she claimed to be my ex-wife only added fuel to the flames.
Scarlett’s father had already been in contact with me and was on his way from New York to better understand what was happening.
Scarlett was noticeably confused and upset by Serene’s declaration. I was not going to refute Serene’s claim. Instead, I confirmed her words to be true. I told Scarlett that Serene and I married in secret years ago, and neither I nor my siblings ever brought it up because regrettably we missed each other during their last visit, and I was away on business when they came to Charleston last fall. Nat never mentioned the nuptials in her correspondence because she didn’t think Scarlett would care. Scarlett took the news gracefully. No screaming and yelling or hurling insults my way like Serene would. I would’ve preferred it. With Serene, it was impossible for her to keep her emotions to herself. That’s what made her so fascinating to me: her ability to unapologetically always be herself.
Restlessly, I glance at the clock. Almost ten at night. It’s agony to stay away from her. My self-control has never been tested as it has been now. In fact, it’s taking all my control to stay at Belgrave. I pull my gaze back to the contracts in my hands and read through them for the tenth time even though my concentration is sluggish right now.
Through Nicholas and his father, I heard about the company, Famous Player Films. They might have started nearly two years ago, but according to Robert, who was friends with Charles Frohman, one of the founders of the company, they were still looking for investors.
Movies are thrilling to me. I don’t have much time to watch them, but when I do, the outside world goes dark. When Serene first came here, she told me about all the advancements entertainment had made in her time. Especially movies. It was singular yet engrossing to know what the future held. However, the business side of me knew it’d be wise to make an investment in the movie business. Taking Serene’s advice and investing in General Motors two years ago has already paid off handsomely. This has the potential to do the same.
Finally, I get to the last page when I see headlights slash through the windows into my office and graze the middle of my bookshelves. I sit up straight in my chair. I hear the car door close and moments later, the front door.
I’m prepared to push away from my desk, stand, and go to her if I need to, but there’s a soft rap on my door.
“Knock, knock.” Nat peeks her head into the room and smiles. “Can I speak with you for a moment?”
“Of course.” I take my glasses off and toss them onto my desk, grateful for the interruption.
Nat takes the seat across from me and sighs when she sits down. I watch her sharply. “Long day?”
She looks down at her skirt and smooths the material over her knees. “Mmm-hmm.”
I know my sister well enough to discern that she’s attempting to delay the conversation. For what reason, I don’t know. Either way, the fact she won’t meet my eyes is not a good sign.
“How is Serene?” I prod bluntly.
Reluctantly, Nat lifts her gaze and nods. “She’s good. Dinner with her and Livingston was pleasant.”
“Where did the two of you go this afternoon?”
She arches a brow. “We took a walk through Washington Square. I went to Modiste Bourgeois’s shop to pick up a hat and also scheduled a fitting for Modiste Bourgeois to come to Livingston’s home and measure Serene for new clothes. I’m sure she’s becomin’ frustrated with wearin’ my gowns.”
I nod. “I agree. Does Serene know you made the appointment?”
“Of course not. I spoke French the entire time we were there. I’ll mention it to her in the next few days.”
My lips curve at the thought of Serene arguing with Modiste Bourgeois. If Serene becomes frustrated with being confined in a corset, what is she going to think about the clothing Bourgeois suggests? Ah, to be a fly on the wall during that fitting.
“Anything else?” I ask, attempting to keep my voice neutral.
“I asked her to be in my wedding,” Nat says quietly.
My brows lift, but this shouldn’t come as a surprise. Nat and Serene are close, and when Serene came back, Nat emphatically told me she was not going to stop being friends with Serene because I was engaged to someone else. To quote my sister, “Just because you are a fool does not mean I have to be one too.”
“It is your wedding, Nathalie. Do as you will.”
“Menteur...” Nat observes with a slow smirk.
“I’m not lyin’.”
“Then why did you use my full name?”
“Because I felt compelled to?” I offer.
My sister doesn’t look convinced. She leans back in her chair and crosses her legs. “I will let this go simply because I know it’s killin’ you not knowin’ what her reply was.” Nat pauses, and I want to throttle her. “She said yes by the way.”
“I’m sure that made you happy.” I begin to organize papers on my desk. “Who will escort her down the aisle?”
“I’m gonna move some bridesmaids around, but durin’ the dinner party, I thought she and Nicholas made quite a strikin’ pair. So I’ve decided to pair them up. What do you think?”
My head shoots up so fast I’m surprised I don’t pull a muscle. My sister’s eyes are alight with mischief
as she waits for me to reply. I can’t hide my jealousy. I can’t hide anything when it comes to Serene. It should be me walking her down the aisle, but that day is meant for Nat. I’ll be escorting my sister, and whatever decisions she makes about her wedding I have to respect. No matter how much I hate them.
“Sounds wonderful.” I pause. “Did you tell her I said hello?”
Nat’s smile dims. “I did.”
“And her reply?”
“I’d rather not say.”
I find myself leaning in. “Why not?”
“It isn’t ladylike.”
“Then it’s a good thing I’m not a lady, isn’t it?” I observe.
“She said she wanted to destroy you and discontinue Scarlett like an old MAC lipstick.” Nat sighs. “I’m not for certain what brand MAC is. But this is a Serene analogy, so it can’t be pretty. Either way you look at this, the message is quite clear. She’s distraught.”
Even though Serene still despises me, I find myself grinning. I find her wit to be unparalleled. Any morsel of her words I receive makes me feel as though I’ve finally stumbled across water after being thirsty in the desert for days. I’m greedy and can’t get enough.
Slouching in my seat, I take a deep breath. It was a long shot to think that Serene would quickly move past my engagement to Scarlett. Her pain and anger toward me are valid. I told myself I would grant her space until Livingston or Nat gave me further notice that Serene wasn’t as furious or had done the impossible—forgiven me. But considering she told Livingston after the engagement party that she wanted to cut my dick off and use it to choke me with it, I don’t think the latter will happen.
I keep telling myself that I need to wait, but knowing every day she’s here is on borrowed time makes it hard for me not to go to her. How can I not? Our history has taught me to believe moments with Serene are merely temporary allotments never to be taken for granted, and I’m sitting here squandering the seconds.
My patience is wearing thin. She’s been out of my sight for too long. Receiving all my information from Livingston and Nat has sufficed well enough, but I need to see and speak to her for myself. And there’s the question of Nicholas. I wasn’t a fool. I have eyes, and I saw every glance and smile Scarlett’s brother gave Serene. Better yet, I saw the smiles Serene contributed, spurring Nicholas to continue speaking.
