by Reina Torres
He never had been.
His family was one of those big extended mobs at holidays and reunions. They had cousins that weren’t even blood related, or even marriage related. Those cousins and aunts and uncles had just been collected along the way like the folks that packed up and joined in on the Runaway Scrape during the Texas fight for independence. His family was all about ‘bigger is better.’
Jake heard her rough cough of laughter and looked down to see her cheeks burning with color.
“That’s me. Open mouth, insert foot.” She sighed, and he had the feeling she’d done that a lot in her life. Say something and then back off to take the sting out of people’s perception of her.
“If you can manage to get your foot into your mouth, I’d be willing to watch as a witness, but don’t feel like you need to change what you said for me.” He lifted his hand off her shoulder and trailed his fingertips through her hair. “I was wondering why you changed the color in your hair.”
She went still for a long moment, like a deer sensing danger in the woods.
Then she turned a little against him, and her knees brushed against his thigh, reminding him how very close they were.
“I had to wash out the color I had,” her voiced was hushed as though she were confessing something to him. “One of the attorneys we worked with for domestic violence cases said it looked stupid in my hair and when I went on the stand the judge wanted to see a business-like woman as a witness, not some repressed ‘goth girl.’”
Her smile was barely there and he heard the sting of pain in her tone.
“I thought goth was all black.”
Her shoulders shook. “That’s what I tried to explain to the attorney and she changed mid-sentence and called me ‘Rainbow Brite.’ I had to look that one up.”
He nodded and pressed a quick kiss to her temple. “I would’ve had to do the same if they said that to me. Still, I like the colors and the one you have now is nice”
“They’re all just temporary washes anyway, I didn’t have time to wash this one out but this judge actually likes the color so I’m okay for today. With all of Sloane’s baby hormones she wanted to put in some color, but that’s a no-no during her pregnancy even though the colors are labeled ‘all natural.’”
“Looks like you’re picking up a lot of her responsibilities.”
Her knee jerk reaction was to wave off the thought.
“Sure. Sure, but I love what we do. I did used to be that vapid college girl, you know. I had perfect hair and perfect clothes. I went to all the parties and was everyone’s good friend, but knowing Sloane gave me a whole new perspective on life.
“The way she dealt with tragedy gave me strength. The way she dealt with adversity made me want to be a warrior like her. And instead of looking for the next party or the next laugh, I was looking for ways to help people who needed it. To give others a hand up when they’d fallen down.
“Knowing what she had gone through and how it shaped her life made me so very grateful that I’d never had those kinds of struggles.”
It was harder to hear her speaking, because she’d dipped her chin down toward her chest, and he followed the direction of her gaze and saw her picking at the fringe of the blanket with her fingertips.
“Sometimes I think about all that time I wasted in college with theme parties and beach volleyball days and-”
He took her hand because he wanted to feel it in his, but when she stopped talking, he wove their fingers together with his palm to the back of her hand. “Where’s all this coming from, Hill? Do you think you need to beat yourself up because you weren’t always a humanitarian?”
“Hu-humanitarian?” Her laugh wasn’t just self-effacing, it was almost derisive and pointed at herself. “I’m just a girl who was lucky enough to become friends with the kindest soul I’ve ever known. I try to follow her example, but I know I come up short.”
He heard the hitch in her indrawn breath before she murmured to herself.
“So very short.”
“Hey… hey, look at me.”
She didn’t question him. She just turned to look up into his eyes, and he couldn’t help feeling like he was ten feet tall that she could turn to him so readily.
“You need to stop talking about yourself like that, Hildie. It’s not fair. Not to you, or the people you help.” He held her hand gently in his, smoothing the pad of his thumb along the side of her hand. “I bet you’ve had some people say things to you when you try to help. Some things that made you question yourself. Maybe they wonder whether someone like you could understand what they’re going through. Has that happened to you?”
He saw the way her skin paled and her eyes widened for a space of a heartbeat before relaxing.
“And I bet you didn’t hold their words against them.”
She shook her head.
“Because…?”
She smiled, but it wavered a bit. “Because I know that what they were saying was because they were hurt, and they were probably angry and needed to take it out on something… or someone.”
“And you let them take it out on you. The same way you take it out on yourself.”
He heard another soft cough of laughter. “Wow. If you’re as good at the range as you are seeing into my head, you’re good. Really good.”
“I’m not trying to hurt you, Hill.”
“I didn’t think you were, Jake.” She looked up at him and pulled her lower lip into her mouth to wet it. “It’s just hard to hear the truth sometimes. You know?”
Oh, he knew. He’d had enough people questioning how he’d managed to get into the rangers so quickly. Or even questioning why he wanted in so badly. He’d had to question himself over and over to make sure that he went after the badge for the right reasons. The last thing he wanted was to darken his family’s reputation in the department. “I know, Hill, but I’m trying to get you to see that just because you don’t share their struggles, it doesn’t make you any less able to help them. You give to people from the heart, and that’s what gets through to them. Moms that have to be the rock for their family can accept your hugs and cry on your shoulder.
“And kids who have lost nearly everything they own but the clothes on their backs reach for you. I remember that day too, Hill. You walked up and while Sloane went to the mother’s side and went to work, the kids took to you like the pied piper. The little girl who I had to coax into my arms took one look at the beautiful woman smiling at her and reached out for you.”
He leaned down and touched a kiss to the tip of her nose because he couldn’t stand to be that close and not touch her over and over again.
“So, don’t doubt that people see your heart, Hildie. Some people have walls up that they’ve been building for years so it takes a while to see the genuine heart inside of you, but people like that little girl see you as you are. A gentle, giving heart. And they reach for you. They want to be in your arms.”
He looked down into her beautiful face and knew that somewhere in his little diatribe, he’d switched from talking purely about other people and inserted his own need and hunger into his words.
“I see you, Hill. I see that heart beating inside you, and I can’t help but want to hold you close and protect you the way you protect others.”
Jake saw the yearning in her eyes and recognized it immediately. He’d felt the same way since he’d met her, and the feeling had only grown every other time they’d been close. He gave another silent prayer of thanks that he’d gone with her into the courtroom. If he hadn’t-
He tugged on her hand, lifted it, and set it against his chest. Her fingers splayed over his beating heart, and he felt the warmth of her hand through the cotton of his shirt. He’d never felt like this before. Never felt the bone deep need to hold a woman close.
“Let me closer, Hill. Let me kiss you.”
She tilted her head back, and her eyes drifted closed. He touched his lips to hers with a soft nudge and then again. Turning just a little, he brush
ed his lips over hers and felt the warm silk of her flesh under his.
He could feel how close she was to him. He could feel how close she was to opening her lips under his, but he couldn’t let it go that far. He only had so much control left.
While he’d gone with her to watch for shock, he’d known that he was suffering from it himself. Being that close to losing her before they’d even begun had been a wakeup call.
Her free hand grasped his shoulder as they kissed, gently drawing sighs from each other, feeding off the other’s gentle touch. He stretched out on the sofa, taking her along with him, tucking her gently between him and the back cushions.
When she laid her cheek down on his shoulder, he lay back on the seat cushions and listened as she drifted off to sleep.
Chapter 5
Hildie heard a knock at the office door. “Come in!”
The door opened as she continued the letter she was composing on the computer. Losing herself in the text, she almost jumped when someone spoke from just a few feet away.
“Tell me that you checked the security screen before you invited me in.”
“Vicente!” She pushed her chair back and met him halfway around the desk. She used to think the FBI agent was a little on the grumpy side, but that was only the first few weeks that she knew him. Sloane had been in danger and Vicente had glued himself to her hip and… other parts of her that he seemed to like. Once the danger was over, the two were all but inseparable.
And married right about the time they told everyone that they were expecting, expanding the Bravo family.
Stepping back from him she narrowed her gaze on his face. “Everything’s okay with Sloane? The baby?” Before he could answer, she waved off the question with a laugh. “If there was something wrong, you’d be calling me from the hospital. So, what’s up, Agent Bravo?”
He laughed like he always did around her. “Just when I start to forget how you make my head spin, you do it again and it all comes back to me.”
Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a piece of paper printed in black and white.
“Sonogram photo!” Hildie made a grab for the paper and held it up before her eyes. “Okay, so do we know the sex yet?”
He gestured at the printout and shook his head. “The tech said that our baby is the most uncooperative one she’s ever tried to sex. Just when she gets the wand-thing over the right spot, the baby turns.”
She gave him a wink. “Wand-thing?”
He held out his hands in a vague gesture. “I don’t know what they call it.”
“Well thank goodness you’re an FBI agent and not a lab tech.”
He shrugged. “I don’t think I have the stomach for it.”
Laughing, Hildie gave him an incredulous look. “You don’t want to get my girl all jealous? Seeing all those half-naked women?”
That idea he waved off. “That’s not what makes me squirm.”
“Oh?” She took another look at the sonogram photo. “Then what is it?”
“That gel. It sounds like a squeeze bottle of mayo when it comes out and looks more like a slime trail than diagnostic fluid.”
She held out the paper to him. “Well, thanks for making it sound icky instead of an amazing, incredible experience!”
He waved it off toward her. “That’s your copy.”
“Awesome!” Hildie opened her planner and set the image in the pocket to look at later. “Now I have my own picture of Pepito to moon over.”
He winced at the word. “Pepito?”
Hildie shrugged. “I think it’s a boy. I have a feeling here,” she set her hand over her stomach, “and since y’all refuse to tell me even the possible names of your baby I have to make up my own. And since I think he’s a boy and a boy has a,” she held a single finger in front of her belly, pointing down, “little pepper, I thought-”
Vicente groaned. “I’m going to have to find out the sex of this baby. There’s no way I’m going to let you call him Pepito. I just-”
“Okay, okay!” She held up her hands in surrender. “I’m sorry. It was just a stupid little thing.”
“Little pepper,” he groaned, but the look he gave her a moment later was full of humor. “Relax. Whatever you want to call him or her until the birth is fine by me. Just don’t use Pepito if he… if it is born a boy.”
She gave him a little salute. “Yes, sir. I have my marching orders, sir!”
“And speaking of orders,” he didn’t give her long to wait, “I meant what I said when I came in. Did you check the monitors when you heard my knock?”
She wanted to say yes, but she didn’t want to lie to Vicente. “I was busy with the fundraising letter I was putting together.”
“You know we put the system in to protect all of you.”
“You put the system in place for Sloane. The rest of us got the benefit of the gesture and really, it’s great, but it’s also the middle of the day. I bet you passed by a half-dozen people between the front door and the office. If there was a problem…”
“The point is stopping a problem before it happens.”
Her heart melted a little at his words and the emotion behind them. “You are going to be a great dad.”
His answering smile was a little sappy, but it looked good on him. What didn’t look good on Vicente Bravo?
Sighing, he pulled her in for a hug. “Check the system before you call someone into the office. A few seconds may be all you have, but it could be enough to save yourself if the need arises.”
“Okay, I get it. I will be more careful, okay? Now, I have to get back to work.” She started to walk away and turned back to waggle a finger at him. “Tell Sloane I send my love, and we’ll get together soon.”
“Soon?” Vicente took a couple of steps toward the door and stopped. “You know, you can always bring someone with you to the house.”
She narrowed her eyes at him and tried to read his expression. “You might want to just come out with it. I’m not psychic. You know that.”
“I should have known better. Sloane told me to make it seem casual.”
Hildie gave him a look. “You don’t work undercover, do you?”
He shrugged. “Ask me to infiltrate a drug trafficking ring or some corporate money laundering plan and I’m good. Inviting over my wife’s best friend and her new guy… not so much.”
“New guy?” She laughed out loud.
“You know,” his forehead furrowed between his eyebrows, “I don’t think you’ve had a guy since I’ve known you.”
“Yes, thank you for pointing out the worst dry spell of my life.”
“Whoa, there.” He held up his hands in surrender. “I didn’t say anything of the kind.”
“I’ve had dates,” she felt a need to defend herself and knew it was pointless. Vicente didn’t mean anything by it. Her whole reaction was her own problem. Her own insecurity. “Look. Tell Sloane I’ll call her, and we’ll set up something.”
“A Texas Ranger, Hildie?”
“Whoa,” she echoed his earlier comment. “Are you telling me there’s some kind of interagency issue here?”
“No. No issue. I was just thinking if you were interested in dating, I have a couple of guys that I work with that I could have asked.”
“Asked? Ha! I don’t need you to set me up.”
He smiled. “No, you don’t. And I’m sorry if I sounded like you did. Still,” he gave her a pointed a look, “you want me to run his name through any databases? Look for skeletons in the clos- Hey!”
Hildie nudged him out of the office and waved at him before she closed the door.
“Look for skeletons in his closet…” She sat down at the desk and smiled. “I have the best friends.”
The phone rang around seven o’clock, startling Hildie out of her spreadsheet. Budgets and expenditures could be incredibly exciting things once you get to know them. So much so that she practically snatched the phone out of the cradle and answered. “Helping Hearts. This is Hildie. How may
I help you?”
“Hello, Hildie. This is Aylin in the kitchen. Dinner is ready.”
Right on cue, her stomach growled. “Dinner. I’ll be right there!”
She didn’t bother to grab anything. All she did was click ‘save’ and got up from the desk. She was so hungry and ready to eat.
The office was at the opposite end of the building from the front doors, but she made quick work of walking down the hall and practically skipped into the kitchen. Viviana Blaise was standing at the counter cutting through a whole pile of vegetables with her daughter Aylin at her side.
“Hey,” she paused in the doorway looking from one to the other, “I thought Aylin said dinner was ready.”
Viviana smiled at her daughter, a student at a local community college and her number one sous chef in her catering business. “She called you, but the message wasn’t from us exactly.”
Hildie narrowed a look at the two. Viviana’s cheeks were rosy red with a blush, a look that was still a daily occurrence even though she’d married Fire Chief Ethan Blaise almost a year earlier. Married life for the two looked to be just as happy and fulfilling as it was for all the couples finding love around her, and Hildie didn’t begrudge any of them a single moment of happiness.
Still, there was a bit of a mystery to solve. “Okay, so if you two didn’t call me out here for dinner…”
Aylin gave her a cheeky look and tipped her head toward the group dining area just off the kitchen. “I think you have a visitor.”
“A visitor? Me?”
Viviana grinned. “Tall, tan and… goodness is he handsome. He even comes complete with a silver star.”
Hildie paused to give Viviana a kiss on her cheek. One of their biggest success stories, Viviana had struggled after her husband divorced her and left her with little support for their daughter Aylin. Viviana took classes at the Helping Hearts Center and began the catering company that led her to her current husband, Chief Blaise.
“Every time you’re here, Viv, I always have a big smile on my face.”
Viviana gave her a wink. “That man in there is going to make you blush if I’m any judge.”
