“A test which you don’t want me to know the results to.”
“I want you to know the results. I want you to know it here.” She tapped her chest. “Isn’t that more important than a piece of paper?”
“No. And it’s the only thing that can be proven, of all the potential lies you’ve told me.”
The words were like a slap across the face. “What do you want me to do? Give you proof that my hymen wasn’t broken before I came here?” Her voice had taken on a shrill edge. This was not going how she’d hoped it would. “I came right out and admitted that I loved Jules, but as a friend. It’s different. I don’t want to be with him.”
“I suppose this is the part where you tell me you want to be with me?” he drawled. The sarcasm made her flinch.
“I don’t understand why you think I’m a dishonest person.”
“Marianna, it’s not you. Everyone is dishonest. It’s human nature. It’s why these tests exist in the first place.”
She let a growl out. “Don’t give me that bullshit. I don’t care about ‘everyone.’ I care about us and our baby. I care about what’s going to happen next. Even if you open that letter and it proves I’m right, what then?”
“You will live here, and I will provide for you and the baby.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“That’s not enough. I want to be here to have a real family with you.”
“There’s no such thing. What we have isn’t real.” There was something about his tone that made her want to reach out to him. He was lying through his teeth, and she could feel it. He was scared, protecting himself.
“You’re telling me that our weekend honeymoon and the night we spent together didn’t change things? That you holding my hand because I was scared to jump off the boat didn’t change things?”
He said nothing.
“That night, after we made love, you held me and you said esi eise theiki mou. I know what it means,” she said, gripping the arms of the chair so tight that her knuckles turned white as snow. “It means: you are mine. Esi eise theiki mou. You are mine, too.”
“We are legally married, nothing more.” But now his eyes were like burning coals, alive and passionate and wrathful. “That was the agreement.”
“I want a new agreement.”
The laugh that came out of Nico’s mouth sounded like no other laugh she’d ever heard before. It was hauntingly hollow. Devoid of humor. “Why? Did Julian reject you? Does he not love you back?”
Humiliation sunk its claws into her skin. “When I said I love him, I meant as a friend. Platonic love. And he does love me back. More than I love him, in fact. He wanted me to go back to Australia with him, but I said no because I want to give us a shot.”
“Maybe you should have gone.”
Nico may as well have held up a grenade and pulled the pin, because it sure felt like an explosion ripped through her. He was giving her nothing. Not a damn inch.
“Why are you punishing me?” she asked.
“I’m not punishing you. I’m outlining the terms of our agreement.” He stared her down. “Look, that weekend…it was a mistake. We both got caught up in a moment, but the fact is I don’t want a real wife. I will be the best father I can, because I take that role very seriously. But I will not give you sunshine and rainbows and a happily ever after.”
“What changed?”
“I had a momentary lapse of judgement, but you helped me to remember why I don’t get involved with people.”
“How? By being honest?” She shook her head.
“It’s only honesty if I open this letter and find out you’re telling the truth.”
Balling her fists, she took a moment to collect herself. He was pushing her away by insulting her. It was a cheap move, but it would only work if she let it. “Nico, I know you’ve had a rough life. I know you haven’t been able to rely on many people, but I’m telling you now: you can trust me. I won’t hurt you.”
“I don’t trust you, Marianna. I don’t trust anyone.” The silence vibrated, thick and tense between them. “Don’t take it personally.”
“I want to take it personally, Nico. I am taking it personally. Because that’s what a marriage is, it’s bloody personal.” She pushed up and went to him by the window. “I want to make us work. I want…to be with you.”
When the words left her lips, the world split apart beneath her feet. Everything was so fraught, so illogical. So out of the realms of her experience. But all she knew was that for the first time in her life she was making her own decisions. She was in charge of demanding what she wanted and not accepting anything less.
She was going to be a mother, and that meant she could no longer be passive in her life. She would not let the world pass her by while she cowered behind the men making decisions. Her demands would be heard, and she would take control of her destiny.
“I want to know what the letter says.” He held out his hand again.
Marianna’s heart shattered in her chest. “If you make me hand this envelope over, then I will pack my bags and walk out of here. Because I will not live with someone who thinks I’m a liar.”
“Fine. You can meet the driver out front in half an hour.”
Chapter Seventeen
Nico had never been such a prick in all his life.
Because right now, watching his wife speak with passion so raw and unfiltered, his whole body was alight with desire for her. And not only because she looked like a beautiful, angry goddess in her floor-sweeping yellow dress with her hair tumbling uninhibited down her shoulders. No, her physical beauty was only one element.
He desired her spirit, her honesty. Her fearlessness in chasing what she wanted. Her bravery in putting herself out into the world. This was a woman who’d travelled across the globe to face him in person when she’d discovered she was pregnant. Brave did not even begin to cover it.
But these were the very reasons why he couldn’t allow himself to get attached to her. Given the right circumstances, she would destroy him. And Dion had been right: a woman like Marianna would always desire more from those around her. Because she herself was incapable of giving the bare minimum in life.
“You’re bluffing,” she said.
“I’m not.” He most definitely, absolutely, and unequivocally was.
“S’ agapo.”
I love you.
Nico closed his eyes so he could gather his strength. He could not give in to this passionate, incredible woman.
“I wanted to surprise you,” she said. “Lydia has been teaching me. I hadn’t planned to tell you now, because I wanted more time to figure out how I felt. But that special thing we had feels like it’s slipping away, and I don’t want to let it go. I know we can be a family, Nico. You just have to trust me.”
He wanted to. With all his being he wanted to. But the last time someone had said they loved him…Alethea had been lying to him. There was no way she could have gone behind his back and made a decision that affected both of them so deeply if she’d truly loved him. He had to remember that. Because Marianna said she wanted them to be a family now…but that could change. And in the future, once he’d grown comfortable and secure, losing her would hurt even more than it did now.
“I don’t trust you,” he growled. “I won’t trust you. You’re asking me for something I am not capable of.” She reached for him, but he took a step back. “You don’t get it, do you? This marriage means nothing to me. The only reason you’re here is because we both made a mistake, and provided the child is mine, I will do my best to be a good father. But that’s it.”
Her eyes glimmered, but she squared her shoulders and looked at him as though she were looking down and not up. Her height did nothing to dampen the power of her presence. “That’s not good enough for me. I deserve to be happy.”
“If you need me to pretend to be in love, then you’re not going to be happy here.”
The words sucked the life out of the room. But his wife
didn’t flinch. She didn’t protest. She simply nodded and handed the test results over. “I understand. I’ll pack my bags now.”
She lingered a moment longer, but Nico couldn’t find it in himself to say anything further. He was hollowed out. A shell. For the second time that week, Marianna left his office with the soft click of the latch punctuating her exit. This time was no easier than the last.
He had no idea how long he stared at the envelope and the cat. What was wrong with not wanting to change? With wanting to protect himself?
Wasn’t it smart for him to learn from the mistakes of his past? To try and avoid a situation where he got hurt again? After all, it was a survival mechanism. How else would the human species have lasted the test of time? Get bitten by a tiger once, don’t mess with the tiger again. It was simple caveman logic.
Nico sat in his office chair until he heard an engine rumble outside the house. The sound of suitcase wheels rattling over the stone driveway made his stomach revolt. Then came the slamming of doors, tires turning. And then silence.
He picked up the envelope and the porcelain cat and made his way into the bedroom.
…
Marianna had been gone for a week when Nico returned to the Precision Investments headquarters. He’d been in his office for no longer than an hour when his assistant buzzed him.
“Are you settled in this morning?” she asked.
He set his coffee down. “Just about.”
“I’ve got Ms. Karras here. She doesn’t have an appointment.”
Shit. The last thing he needed was to deal with Alethea now. She’d been calling him again, trying to convince him to see her. Seems she’d gotten impatient with his silence.
“Helena, I don’t have time—”
The intercom went dead, and the sound of arguing got louder outside his door. A second later the door flung open and Alethea stood there. Helena was behind her, wearing an angry scowl. “I’m sorry, Nico, she wouldn’t give me a chance to finish talking to you.”
“This is happening. Now.” Alethea folded her arms across her chest. “I’m not leaving.”
Nico drew a fortifying breath. “It’s fine, Helena. Hold my calls until I’m done.”
“I didn’t want to resort to barging in here like that,” Alethea said, taking a seat. “But the softly-softly approach wasn’t working.”
“Marianna mentioned that you wanted to talk,” he replied, easing himself back into his seat.
“And she couldn’t convince you to hear me out?” A sad smile tugged at her lips. “Glad to know I’m not the only one who can’t get through to you.”
He frowned at the memory of Marianna finally giving up and handing over the envelope.
“It’s a long list.” Nico glanced at the clock displayed on the corner of his laptop screen. He’d give her fifteen minutes and not a second more. Then he was going to have a lock installed on his door. “Can we get this over with?”
Alethea nodded. “You never came to Dad’s funeral.”
His nostrils flared. Bracing himself for a painful discussion never did much good in the end. Old wounds still festered no matter how hard he tried to stitch them up.
“I assumed I wouldn’t be welcome,” he replied.
“I invited you. Specifically.”
He snorted. “Yes, but that was merely a formality, wasn’t it? I know your mother wouldn’t have wanted me there. Or your sisters. Unless they suddenly have decided not to blame me for causing a rift in your family? For bringing shame onto your name?”
“I think with hindsight it’s clear that I was as much to blame as you. My silence made it look like you were the instigator back then, but I was scared. I was so young, and I knew they would be angry.”
“So you made out like I led you into temptation? Like you were an innocent party to my devious nature?” He struggled to keep the bitterness out of his voice. “Your father acted like I coerced you.”
She hung her head. “I made it clear you didn’t force me.”
“After he’d kicked me out.” Bile rose up the back of his throat. He couldn’t even get the word out because it made him sick to his stomach. “He made it seem like I’d taken advantage of you.”
“You didn’t. But I had no idea how to walk the line between you and them.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry, Nico.”
“And I could have forgiven it all if you hadn’t gone behind my back.” He pressed his fingertips to his temples. Every time he thought of the son or daughter he’d never had the chance to know, he wanted to scream.
“I made the decision that was right for my body,” she said, her eyes glimmering with tears. “I know it’s not what you wanted, but every day I hated what was happening inside me. I was too young.”
“Alethea…” He looked up and sighed. “I understand. I know that the decision had to be yours. It is your body. But I wish you’d told me beforehand so at least I could have prepared myself. So I could have supported you.”
“I wish I had too.” She brushed an errant tear away from her face. “Nico, if I could turn back time and do things differently I would. In a heartbeat.”
“One moment I had a family. When you told me you were pregnant…” He shook his head. “I thought I was finally going to have the thing I’d wanted most in my entire life.”
“I know I hurt you.”
“You didn’t hurt me, Alethea. You crushed me.” Anger warred with grief, creating a vicious storm inside him. “Living with your family, having your father teach me and guide me was something I’d never experienced before. And the day you told me you loved me, I thought I was a changed person. I didn’t have nightmares anymore. I didn’t see the future as something dark and vague in front of me. I wanted to live.”
Her tears fell quicker now, the fat drops plopping onto her cheeks. “I’m sorry. I don’t know if you’ll ever believe it, but I did love you. So much.”
“That’s the problem with loving people, isn’t it? They’re the ones who have the ability to inflict the most pain.”
He’d expected Alethea to flinch, but she didn’t. “It’s true. Even if they don’t mean to inflict the pain, they still do. I’m still angry at Dad for dying.”
Nico didn’t want to feel sympathy for her. Worse, he didn’t want to empathize, because that would mean feeling something for Kosta. The man who had thought he’d taken advantage of a young woman, who hadn’t even given him a chance to defend himself… He didn’t deserve Nico’s grief. So why did Nico still feel the loss as keenly as if it were his own, real father?
“He smoked those fucking cigarettes every day, even though I told him they’d kill him eventually.” Her lip trembled. “I asked him one day if he loved those damn things more than he loved his family. Of course he said no, but he didn’t stop. Everyone else is sad, and I’m so…I’m so angry. And I can’t talk to anyone about it.”
In that moment, she was the Alethea he remembered. Bare-faced and expressive. Freckles dusted her nose and cheeks. Her eyes were always wise beyond her years, filled with emotion and passion that bubbled close to the surface. It was the same thing that had attracted him to Marianna. It was the same thing he admired about his best friend. They all had that one quality in common: an ability to let their emotions rise up and tip over without restraint.
It was something he never nourished in himself.
“I’m not your counsellor, Alethea,” he said. “I can’t be, because I’m not unbiased.”
“I know. I don’t even know why I wanted to talk to you so bad. I felt like it might help me to move on if I could tell you face-to-face that I’m sorry for making the decision without you. I don’t think I would change what I did, but I should have told you first. And I didn’t want Dad to die while you still thought he hated you.” She fiddled with the strap on her dress. “He was as devastated about losing you as you were about losing him.”
Nico pressed his lips together. “I doubt that.”
“I know it’s hard to believe, but yo
u were like a son to him. That day he found you in his office, reading those dusty old stock market books, he told me you were going to make something of yourself. He saw how smart you were and how much potential you had.” She reached down into her bag and pulled something out. “I found this when we were cleaning out his office last year. I’ve been hanging onto it in the hopes you might speak to me.”
It was a parcel, wrapped in brown paper that’d yellowed with age. The corners were worn, and the edges of a book poked through the wrapping paper in places where it’d torn. This gift, whatever it was, had been wrapped a very long time ago. Way longer than one year.
Nico accepted the parcel from her and inspected it.
“Please open it,” Alethea said.
He forced his hands to remain steady as he carefully unfolded the edges of the paper. The sticky tape was old and also yellowed, and it didn’t offer much resistance. When he pulled out a hardcover book, a lump formed in Nico’s throat.
He remembered this book. The spine of it, with its fancy gold font, had gleamed at him from Kosta’s office. At the time, he knew he wasn’t supposed to be in there. But Nico wanted to sit for a second in the older man’s chair, to feel what it might be like to live in a large house. To have staff. A family. Money to put any and every kind of food on the table.
This book had been shoddily replaced on the shelf, and so it stuck out a bit. Nico had opened the first page, and then the second. And the third. It talked about something called the “stock market” which was making men rich. Some men, like him, who hadn’t finished school. Apparently, that was how Kosta had come to have this big house with a giant pool in the backyard and how he afforded the fancy parties they hosted there.
Kosta’s edition had been dog-eared and full of notes and highlighted sections. This version was new. Well, it would have been new at the time. He flipped the cover open, and inside was the scrawled handwriting of the man he’d once wished was his father.
Nico. I know you have it in you to do great things.
“I don’t know if you remember, but it was your birthday the day they found us,” Alethea said. “I think he’d bought this for you, but everything went to hell before he got a chance to give it to you.”
Beauty and the Greek Billionaire Page 18
