by Lolita Files
The wing was raised en route to his mouth, but then Sleazy lapsed into a semi-reverie describing the merits of Dandre’s girl. He held the meat aloft as he spoke.
“The thing about her is…her eyes. There’s something about the way she looks at you.”
“Yeah, I know. Her eyes are huge. It’s like she’s looking right through you.”
“Yeah, but no. That’s not what I’m talking about.” He bit into the chicken, talking with it in his mouth. “It’s the way her eyes dance. They’ve still got a light in them, you know? Like she hasn’t seen the worst life has to offer yet. Like she really hasn’t even seen much of anything bad. I know she has. Shit, what happened at your wedding alone was enough to make a muthafucka an overnight psychotic.”
Dandre’s skin bristled at his words. He wished he could wipe that incident from not just his memory, but from the mind of everyone who was there that day.
“But your girl didn’t go dark. Sure, she’s angry about some shit. Sure, it hurt her pretty bad. But she’s still got that light in her eyes, you know what I mean? Like she’s still got hope in human beings. It makes you want to protect her. It makes you want to be her friend.”
“You sure you’re not feeling her?” Dandre asked. “You’re not just coming here to case the competition, pretending to be down with me but really just sizing me up?”
Sleazy laughed.
“Not hardly,” he said. “You can tell when another man is checking for your girl. It’s a vibe they give off. I know for a fact you’re not getting that vibe from me.”
“True. I’m not.”
Sleazy nodded as he drank the last of his beer. He signaled to the waiter for two more.
“What’s your name, man?” Dandre asked. “I’m sitting here telling you all my business and I don’t even know your name.”
“Sleazy,” he said. “Just call me Sleazy.”
Dandre laughed as he chugged his beer.
“C’mon, player. What’s your real name?”
Sleazy picked up a bone from the plate in front of him. There were still a few remnants of meat clinging to it. He chawed at it. Dandre pressed him.
“C’mon, now. I know when your mama pushed you out the womb, she didn’t look at the doctor and say, ‘I think I’ll call him Sleazy.’”
“Actually, that’s kinda what happened, ’cept it was more like my dad pulling one of them Kunta Kinte stunts. Going out beneath the shining moonlight, holding me up to the heavens. ‘Behold, the only thing sleazier than me.’”
Dandre and Sleazy both laughed. The suspicious waiter gave them a furtive glance as he passed.
“What’s your real name, man?” Dandre asked again. He reached for another wing.
Sleazy took a deep breath, held it for about five seconds, then released it.
“Leslie,” he said in a voice so low, Dandre had to strain to hear it.
“Come again?”
Sleazy stared him in the eye. This time his tone was strong and clear.
“Leslie,” he said. “Leslie Caron Grayson.”
“Oh shit.” Dandre laughed so hard that, when he inhaled, a piece of chicken was sucked back into his trachea. He had a coughing fit. Sleazy slapped him on the back with his big open palm. The errant piece of meat came flying up and out.
“Thanks,” Dandre said, still coughing. “I appreciate it, Big Les.”
“Yeah, right. Keep that shit to yourself.”
“What, Leslie? I think it’s befitting a pimp like yourself.”
“Fuck you, man. At least I’m not bitch enough to give a girl a houseful of puppies.”
Dandre made a startled move.
“What next,” asked Sleazy, “gumdrops and bunnies?”
He and Dandre faced off, their expressions tense. After a few pregnant seconds, both men broke out laughing.
“So here’s the plan,” Sleazy said. “I’ll stay close to her. I talk to her all the time. I’ll keep putting in the good word and see what I can do to get the two of you reconnected.”
“I appreciate it, man,” Dandre said. “I don’t want to get her back through anything calculated and underhanded. I’d feel funny about that.”
“That’s not what we’re doing.”
“Okay. I mean, I appreciate you being a negotiator for us and letting me know that she’s okay.”
“That’s all I’m talking about,” Sleazy said.
“Hey, let me ask you something.”
“What’s that?”
“How’d you know who I was? The twins don’t know Reesy. They’ve never even met her.”
The two men were walking down the Strand, back toward the beach house. The rain was no longer falling, although the sky was still gray.
“I mentioned your name to Reesy this morning. She was on her way to an audition and asked me what I was getting into. I told her I had to help the twins move because their cousin Dandre was tripping because they were throwing all kinds of wild parties. When I said ‘Dandre,’ she got all quiet, and that’s when she told me who you were.”
Dandre’s stomach felt tricky, like he might be sick.
“Does she know about that scene with those chicks upstairs?”
“The Tonies? Nah. I didn’t say anything to her about that. After she told me about the thing with the pictures, I figured I’d keep that situation to myself.”
“Thank God,” said Dandre.
“I told her you probably had nothing to do with the chick that passed those pictures out. That maybe she was just a disgruntled broad from your past.” Sleazy paused. “Is that true?”
“It’s exactly the truth.”
“Good, because I care about Reesy. I don’t want to see her get played. If some punk is responsible for making that light go out in her eyes and I hear anything about it, I’ll break him in half.”
“That won’t be necessary,” Dandre said.
“It better not be. I told her that she couldn’t fuck with any of my boys because if they did her dirt, I’d feel funny having to beat ’em down. But you and I just met. The shit ain’t cemented yet. I’ll still kick your ass if you try to fuck her over.”
The two men stopped walking and squared off. They stared at each other in silence.
“She wants to mess with one of your boys?” Dandre asked after a moment.
“Nah,” Sleazy said. He pulled two cigars out of his shirt pocket. He offered one to Dandre, but he refused. The two resumed walking. Sleazy snipped the end of his cigar, then stuck the stogie in his mouth.
“You sure she’s not open to other men?”
“Hell, naw,” Sleazy replied, talking around the cigar. “She’s just selling wolf tickets. That girl ain’t thinking ’bout nobody but you.”
Reesy had returned home at three to find the dogs sitting in the kitchen, which was the only area of the house she allowed them while she was away. The puppies had grown bored, and yet again, a destructive mob mentality had taken hold. This time they gnawed the lower cabinets where she kept the pots and pans, and left tiny teeth marks dotting the painted wood.
Once Dante’s wailing subsided, she let them out of the kitchen, into the rest of the house. The dogs traipsed behind her, scampering between her legs as she headed to the bathroom to shower.
She decided she would call her parents and tell them about the move, but there wasn’t an answer at the house, and neither one of them was in the office. She didn’t try their cell phones. She figured she would call again later that night, perhaps around nine, which would be midnight their time. Better to tell them when they’re sleepy, she thought, rather than hit them with the news when they were at their most coherent and judgmental.
After showering, she lay down for a nap. The phone rang five minutes after her head hit the pillow. She looked at the caller-ID box. It was Misty.
“Hey, girl,” Reesy said in a tired voice, lying back against the pillows. “You’ll never guess what I did today.”
She could hear choking and sobbing. It wasn’t unfamil
iar. Reesy knew the unmistakable sound of Misty upset.
“What’s wrong, honey?” she asked, sitting up. “Misty…tell me what’s wrong.”
She could hear her friend struggling to talk, but the words kept running into phlegmy clots of interference.
“What happened? Is it the baby? Talk to me, please.”
“R-r-r-r-r…”
“What?”
“R-r-r-r-r-r-r-r…”
“I don’t understand what that means. Are you okay? The baby’s okay, isn’t it? Please tell me you didn’t change your mind.”
Reesy could hear her fumbling with the phone as she blew her nose. Misty took a few deep breaths and attempted to speak again.
“Rick,” was all she managed to get out.
“Yeah? Rick. Okay. Is Rick alright? Does he know about the baby? Did you tell him?”
Misty’s breath came in heaves and she began to cry again.
“P-p-p-pins. H-h-h-holes. H-h-holes in the c-c-condoms.”
“I’m sorry, sweetie,” Reesy said. “I don’t understand.”
Harlem jumped on the bed and ran toward her. Reesy gave her a gentle nudge with her foot. The dog was back within seconds. Reesy stood and walked toward the living room.
“H-h-h-he was p-p-punching holes in th-th-the condoms.”
Misty’s words finally connected and Reesy understood.
“What?” she screamed. “He was punching holes in the condoms? When? Today?”
“F-f-f-for months,” Misty said.
“Is that why you’re pregnant?” Reesy asked.
“Y-y-y-yes.”
“Oh my gosh.” Reesy sat on the couch. All three of the dogs jumped on the couch with her. She got up and went to the dining table. She didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t imagine Rick doing something like this.
“Are-are-are you still there?” asked Misty.
“I’m here,” Reesy said, sitting at the table. She was in a stupor. “So he knows you’re pregnant now, right? He knows his little plan worked.”
“Yeah.”
Peanut scratched at Reesy’s right foot. Reesy ignored her and the puppy scratched harder. She rubbed the dog’s chest with her big toe. The puppy made a contented moaning sound.
“So you’re leaving him, right? This is some foul, lowlife shit.”
“I-I-I-I…” Misty stammered.
“You’re leaving him, right?”
“I-I-I-I…”
“Don’t tell me you’re not going to fucking leave him, Misty. What he did was wrong. There’s no two ways about it. You can’t rationalize anything right out of this.”
“I c-c-c-can’t just run away again.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“I-I-I…” She tried to speak over the sobs. She breathed in and out three times to control her words. “I always run away,” she said.
It was true. Misty had run from many bad love affairs and always landed somewhere worse. She went from Stefan the bed-wetter in Fort Lauderdale and ended up with Roman the lover in Atlanta, who, after months of spending every day with her—except for the weekends—disappeared and never called her again. He had gotten married during his absence, and Misty learned the news while she was peeing in the stall of a mall bathroom. She overheard Reesy talking to a friend who turned out to be the sister of the woman Roman had wed.
“I can’t run away again,” she said.
“Oh, great. So you just stay with a loser who’ll sabotage your entire life.”
Misty didn’t respond. Reesy could tell she had gone too far.
“Sorry,” she said. “He’s not my husband. I can’t speak for you. I’m just saying—”
“I know what you’re saying.” Misty’s voice was clear now, strong. The sobbing had stopped. Reesy’s protests had snapped her out of whining mode and put her on the defensive. “I’m not running away. He and I are going to deal with this.”
“What’s to deal with?” Reesy asked. “He’s a liar and a cheat and now you’re pregnant. How can you ever trust him again?”
“We’ve decided to go to therapy.”
“Therapy?” Reesy spat. “What the fuck will therapy do?”
“I’m hanging up,” Misty said.
“Wait…no…I’m sorry. Don’t hang up.”
“Then stop judging me and my situation.”
“I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just protective, I guess.” Reesy stopped scratching Peanut’s chest. The dog pawed at her foot again.
“Damn,” she said, getting up and walking into the kitchen.
“These fucking rats are getting on my nerves.”
“It’s time I learned to problem-solve,” Misty said. “I don’t want to run away from things again. I’m carrying his baby. We’re married. I can’t just call everything off and walk away.”
“Right,” Reesy said. She wasn’t sure what she meant by the word as she said it.
She took a bag of cheese cubes out of the refrigerator and walked back down the hall, into the bedroom. The puppies followed her.
“So you’re going to stay and work it out,” she said.
“Yeah. I can’t run anymore, Reesy. You need to understand how I feel about that. It was the first thing that I wanted to do, but something in me said it wouldn’t solve anything.”
“Whose idea was therapy?”
“Rick’s,” Misty said.
“Really?”
“Really. He knew he fucked up.”
“I’ll bet.”
Misty let out an audible breath.
“Sorry,” Reesy said.
She handed the dogs some cheese.
“One day you’ll see that running from things isn’t the answer, Reesy. Has it made things better for you, now that you’ve moved to the other side of the world?”
Reesy started to say yes and tell her about James and the Amazing Technicolor Fuck. It would have been a lie. Things weren’t better. In fact, they were more confusing now than ever. Being with him had made her more aware of Dandre. She couldn’t admit that to Misty. They were supposed to be yin and yang. That’s what they’d been forever. It was rare for them to agree. She saw no point in altering the balance of their universe.
There was a smear of cheese on her diamond. Without thinking, she reached for a tissue from the box beside the bed. She wiped the ring, careful not to do anything that could mar the perfection of the surface of the stone.
“Are things better for you?” Misty repeated. “Have you even dealt with your feelings about Dandre? Is he out of your system?”
“I don’t want to talk about him,” she said, tossing the tissue in the trash.
“Of course not,” replied Misty. “You just want to pass judgment on me.”
The dogs gazed up at Reesy.
“I’m the alpha dog,” she said to them.
“What?”
“My friend Sleazy told me—”
“Who the heck is Sleazy?” Misty asked. “Please tell me you haven’t started your pattern again.”
Reesy’s face squinched into a frown.
“And what pattern is that?”
“You know what you do.”
“No, I don’t. Please tell me.”
Misty took a breath, measuring her words.
“You know. Sometimes you’ll sleep with someone to get over something that bothers you.”
Reesy had known what Misty was going to say, because it was real. If she lost a job, she gained a screw. When she and Misty used to argue during the days they shared an apartment, she would go out and put her rage into sex with a relative stranger. It wasn’t a regular thing, but it was the best way she knew to release what she was feeling.
She wondered if that was what she’d done today. She expected to be relieved after getting with James, less burdened, somehow. Instead, all she was left with was a heaping plate of fucker’s remorse.
“You haven’t done that, have you?” Misty asked.
&nbs
p; “Why don’t we get off me,” Reesy said. “I didn’t fuck Sleazy. He’s a friend. He’s like a big brother who watches over me.”
“Well, just be careful. Anybody with a name like Sleazy can’t be down for anything good.”
Reesy didn’t bother to counter her remark. She saw no point in defending someone Misty didn’t even know.
“You’re not crying anymore,” she said. “I guess you got it out of your system.”
“It’s not out of my system. You just pissed me off enough to make me stop.”
“Then my work here is done,” she said with a smile.
“Yeah,” said Misty. “I guess it is. Thanks for being there for me.”
“Of course. You’re my sister. I care about what happens to you.”
“Ditto,” she said as she blew her nose. “Be careful out there.”
“I am,” Reesy said.
“Okay, girl. I’ll call you later.”
Reesy clicked off the phone. She sat on the side of the bed, unable to move. The dogs stared up at her, still in their military positions.
“Julian was right,” Reesy said to the three. “All men are muthafuckas.”
Harlem yipped. She gave them some cheese.
* * *
The phone rang at 6 P.M.
She’d been asleep since her conversation with Misty, dreaming of being on a boat with Dandre headed for Catalina. The dogs were on the bed beside her, deep into whatever it was that puppies dreamed of. The bag of cheese was empty. It had been looted by them as she dozed.
The caller-ID box displayed the words “unknown caller.” She wondered if it was Dandre and almost didn’t answer. Maybe it was Misty calling back from her cell.
“Hello?”
“So why don’t you come over and hang out? Maybe we can watch a movie or something.”
“Who’s this?”
“How quickly we forget,” said the deep voice.
“James.”
“Well, I’ll be damned. She didn’t forget.”
Reesy sat up in the bed and stretched. The puppies, one by one, did the same.
“What time is it?” she asked, looking around.
“Six o’clock,” he said. “What you doing in bed?”
“I was tired,” replied Reesy with a yawn.
