by Bijou Hunter
“I’d really like to have a baby. I was never all that sure I would be able to.”
“How come?”
“Men—” I stop myself before I say anything embarrassing. Farah, though, won’t be denied.
“I know you’ve only known Colton for a short time, and it probably seems odd for everyone to accept you as his forever girl, but he’s always been fickle with women. With you, though, he just dove in headfirst. That’s how I know you’re special. Nothing you say will change that.”
Despite her words, I know people change their minds about me quickly. “Let’s just say men are usually fickle with me. I never thought any would stick around long enough to have a kid with me, and I knew I couldn’t raise one on my own. I always thought maybe Kori would be the only kid I’d have.”
“You’re a good friend.”
“Not really. I need them more than they need me.”
“I’m sure that’s not true. Rae doesn’t seem like someone who puts up with people she doesn’t care about.”
“How would you know that?”
“Jodi told me,” Farah says and then adds with a smile, “She will gossip about everything you say and do around her. Just know she keeps no secrets. Since she got to meet you before we did, I hit her up for lots of details.”
Grinning, I glance out the back door where Jodi oversees a building project by Kori, Thisbe, and Keith. I wish I were half as tough as the older woman or half as kind as the one holding my hand.
But then I remember how Colt said his mom grew up with a shitty set of parents. Jodi did too. Were they always this confident or did falling in love with the right men rebuild what their crappy childhoods destroyed? Can Colt help me become the woman he deserves?
THE HEIR
Cap Hayes is a few inches taller than me, and I guess maybe he has three or four more muscles. So, of course, I need to test which of us can stand longer during a pushing contest.
We only get in ten or twelve shoves before Pop barks, “Knock it off.”
Cap smirks immediately. “Your father worries I’ll hurt his baby boy.”
“Or he worries I’ll embarrass you in front of your baby boy.”
“Keith is too far away to hear me cry.”
Laughing, I slap his shoulder. “I really wanted to knock your ass to the ground.”
“And I really wanted that for you,” he says and runs a giant hand through his thick dark hair. “But we both know you winning was never going to fucking happen. Better thank your pappy for throwing you a save.”
I shoot him with my finger and then take a shot at Quaid just so he won’t feel left out.
“Virgin, huh?” I mutter when he walks away.
“I was saving my cherry for your sexy sister.”
“Eww, gross, man.”
Quaid snickers before ducking out back where his daughter keeps handing blocks to Kori. The older child patiently takes everything, listening to Thisbe babble. I’m proud of Kori for keeping her cool with the two toddlers at her side. I wish her best of luck, though, now that a third has arrived.
“I’m here!” Lily says, holding her daughter in a front carrier while her husband totes Byron on his shoulders. “Where’s Stella?”
My woman looks terrified to deal with more people, so I block Lily.
“Move, please,” my sister says. “Or I’ll move you.”
“How?”
“Aren’t you ticklish?”
“Crap,” I say, dodging her fingers. “No fair. You’re carrying a baby, so it’s not like I can fight back.”
“Such a sob story. Now move.”
Stepping aside, I glance at Stella who now smiles calmly. Clearly, Mom’s worked her magic. MJ and Audrey are behaving too. Lily’s the least scary of the three—despite being the only one of us who’s taken a life—so I figure I can back off and let Stella enjoy chick time.
I follow Pop outside to the front where we wait for the food I ordered.
“Why couldn’t you cook?” he asks, leaning against the railing.
“I didn’t want to.”
“Could have grilled us dinner.”
“And who was going to make the side dishes? Stella doesn’t know how to fix enough for a dozen people, and Gram retired from cooking for large groups. Dinner would be just meat.”
“I see your point,” he says and smiles. “I was thinking about the first time I brought your mom to meet the family.”
“The perfect solution is for you to invite us to your house tomorrow. MJ and Mom can make lots of fixings, and I’ll help you at the grill.”
Pop grins. “You’re on. The more Stella comes around, the better she’ll understand how you’re all full of shit.”
“Is that a dig at Audrey?”
Losing his smile, Pop can’t help getting riled up about his tiniest daughter.
“I hope Stella’s pregnant by next year’s road trip.”
“Don’t rush her.”
Despite knowing the answer, I want to mess with him. “How long were you and Mom together before you had Lily?”
“We’re not talking about me.”
Laughing, I nudge him. “Gram says I copy you and you copied Pop-Pop.”
“There was no one like my dad,” he says, sounding sad suddenly. “I knew I’d never be him, so I tried to be different. Now I worry I’ve gone in the wrong direction.”
“What do you mean by wrong?”
“I don’t know how to explain it. Shit felt different when I was a young man preparing to take over for my pop. Somewhere along the way, I lost that feeling.”
“You’re why we run Kentucky. Pop-Pop would be proud.”
“Kiss ass,” he says, despite clearly loving the praise.
I spot a truck heading for Gram’s. “We’re not so different, you know? We both want to be like our fathers while still being our own men.”
Pop wears a strange look on his face. For just a second, I see both a kid wanting to please his family and an old man looking back at a life with regrets. Then he blinks and returns to the steely-eyed man I’ve always known. His moment of insecurity gone, Pop calls into the house to round up muscle to help me bring in all the food.
“Wow,” Kori says once we’re inside and opening the containers.
“I ordered enough for leftovers. That way, you and your mom could take a bunch back to your apartment.”
Smiling like a kid on Christmas, Kori looks to her mom to see if she heard. Rae shares her daughter’s grin. I catch Stella hanging back and fighting tears. The quickest way to her heart’s always been to be sweet to her family.
I know how she feels. My chest hurts at the sight of her blonde hair in the sea of my dark-haired sisters. Stella belongs here with my people who will love her right just like I do.
“I need to teach you to call me ‘Colt 45,’” I tell Kori after she sits on the back porch with her food. “You need to say it loud, though. I like enthusiasm when I hear my name.”
“Why?”
“He’s spoiled,” Pop says, and Kori instantly gives him a dirty look.
Laughing, I point at my father. “Don’t trash-talk me in front of my fan club. Kori’s got my back. Don’t you?”
Nodding, she fills her mouth with baked beans and then sighs like she’s never tasted anything so good. I’ve heard that sound from Stella too, and not just when she’s eating.
“Speaking of yelling shit out, I’m sure you call out Stella’s name plenty,” Quaid says.
“What does that mean?” I ask shocked for Stella whose eyes widen.”
Quaid looks at me as if I’m stupid. “You know, from ‘A Streetcar Named Desire’?”
“Wait, is that a book? Don’t you know reading is for nerds?”
Kori immediately gets agitated, quickly realizes I’m messing with her, and returns to eating.
“It’s a play made into a movie, dumbass,” Pop tells me. “You know that.”
“I guess I do, but it’s also possible I don’t.”
&nbs
p; “What?”
Laughing, I don’t admit that I wasn’t sure if Stella knew what “A Streetcar Named Desire” was, and I didn’t want to embarrass her. When talking movies, we stick to action flicks and thrillers. We still have so much to learn about each other, and a lifetime to learn it all.
Once my family settles down with our food out back on the deck, I eat standing behind Stella, Kori, and Rae. They’re my responsibility, and I watch out for them in the same way the other men watch over their women and kids.
The heat drives Lily into the house with the baby while Dash sits at a picnic table with Byron on his lap. I remember how Lily told me one night that he didn’t want kids, but she was certain he’d change his mind as soon as he held his baby. I thought she was fooling herself, but I couldn’t tell her that when she was already pregnant. Watching Dash and Byron, I realize I owe my sister an apology. She knew her man’s heart after all.
Nearby, Cap stretches out on the ground as Keith feeds him. Audrey wipes her man’s mouth without noticing how much her behavior irritates Pop. No way would such a daddy’s girl willingly piss him off so much.
Thisbe distracts her pop-pop by telling him a story about Meow-Meow. I have no idea what she’s saying, and I seriously doubt MJ or Quaid do either despite all their nodding. Pop, though, responds to her babble-questions as if he understood every word. If Audrey is his favorite kid, Thisbe is the grandchild who’s got him wrapped around her finger.
When I catch Mom watching me, she immediately smiles. Her gaze moves south, and I follow it to where my fingers play with Stella’s hair. I hadn’t even realized I was touching my woman.
I can’t help myself. She’s mine like my sisters belong to their men and Mom completes Pop. I finally found the other piece of me, and she fits into my family perfectly.
THE CHAPTER WHERE SECRETS DIE HARD
THE UNWANTED
Taking advantage of a break in the brutal heat, Rae, Kori, and I enjoy a morning walk along a path on Jodi’s property while Colt is at work.
This afternoon, we’ll get Kori registered at the school. Jodi offered us a notarized letter stating Rae pays rent, and this is her address. We don’t have any of the accepted residency documentation. Jodi swears the letter is enough, though.
“I’m Jodi Fucking Johansson, and this is Ellsberg,” she said at breakfast.
Kori immediately nodded and muttered, “Yeah,” because her hero-worshipping of Colt has extended to Jodi now.
Thinking of my man as I walk, I smile at his earlier text requesting I bring an overnight bag for our date this evening. Since Rae has two days off and won’t need me around in the morning to watch Kori, Colt decides to “steal me away” for himself.
Ahead of us, Kori sings “Iko Iko.” She carries a stick like Colt taught her just in case she needs to scare off a raccoon. She’s so happy since we moved to the apartment. She loves cooking with her mom. I still get to take her swimming in the mornings, but now we enjoy Jodi’s clean pool. Kori is careful to remove every leaf from the water before and after we swim.
“You shouldn’t stare a gift horse in the face,” she declared earlier, fudging the old saying after Jodi reassured us that we didn’t need to clean it so much.
“I don’t want to move again,” Rae says as we walk.
“Yeah, the apartment is great.”
She takes my hand and squeezes it hard. “Colt wants to move to that other town, but I don’t want to go.”
“I understand.”
“Do you?”
“Yes.”
“You wanted to move here, and then you wanted to move in the apartment. Now you want to move to this other town.”
Pulling my hand free, I stop and frown at her. “Living here is better than living in Prestonsburg.”
“I know. It’s better than anywhere I’ve ever lived.”
“So why are you making it seem like I did a bad thing having us move here?” I ask, immediately thinking of how Rod hurt her.
“Moving here wasn’t bad, and this apartment is better than anything we could have gotten without Colt, but now he wants to move, and you want to do whatever he wants. I want you to understand that I don’t want to move.”
“Then are you saying I shouldn’t move?”
“I’m saying maybe you and I can’t stay together like you wanted.”
“Oh,” I mumble.
“I like you. Love you too. It’s not that I want to live apart, but, Stella, this place is too good to give up.”
“I know, and I want you to be happy.”
“Kori’s so happy since we got the apartment. Jodi’s been real kind to us too. She even gave me...”
Rae trails off, getting teary-eyed which never happens with her. Even when she told me Rod raped her, she said the words in a monotone voice. Now though, she steadies herself before speaking.
“Her husband had a tablet full of books, and she gave it to me. You can’t imagine how many books, Stella. I could read nonstop for years without getting through them all, and he liked all kinds of stories. No one’s ever given me something so special like that.”
Rae glances at where Kori watches us before speaking again. “I know you love Colt, and you’ve always wanted a man to love you. That’s important to you, and I don’t want you to give up anything for me. I just ask you don’t expect me to give up living here for you.”
“I would never want that,” I lie.
I admit I assumed Rae and Kori would go wherever we did. Colt views them as family, just like I do. If he sets us up in another town, he’ll make sure they’re happy too.
What I hadn’t really considered was Kori changing schools or Rae being so attached to their new home. Or maybe I hadn’t believed Colt would leave Ellsberg, so I didn’t need to worry about the other issues. When he said he might be happier in Pema, I smiled and nodded and pretended to understand.
I don’t, though. His family is wonderful, and they’re here. He has friends here, and a job here. Why does he need to leave?
I’m not sure why I’ve never asked him. Sometimes, I don’t think it’s my business. Or details shouldn’t matter since I’ll follow him anywhere. But during those moments when I'm truly honest with myself, I assume he’ll dump me long before he moves anywhere.
So I never asked him why he needs to move away from a town where he’s happy. I might not even be able to understand the answer since I’ve spent my entire life searching for what Colt already possesses in Ellsberg.
“Are we going?” Kori asks when Rae and I linger for too long.
Nodding, we hurry to catch up as she returns to singing her song. Life is good right now, so I fall into my common habit when I’m happy.
Keep my head down. Smile, nod, remain agreeable, don’t cause trouble. And never, ever rock the boat. But most of all, never expect anything good to last.
THE HEIR
I have a solid weekend planned for my sweet Stella and me. We’re playing house at my office because I’ve got nowhere else to play it. That’s a problem I’m not sure how to fix. I could find somewhere in Ellsberg to live if I weren’t seriously considering the prospect of moving to Pema.
Of course, leaving my hometown feels like a huge step. I haven’t visited Pema in probably a year. Hell, I don’t know if I have any real interest in leaving Ellsberg or if I’m just sick of spending my days avoiding Rod. He and I ending up in the same place would not end well.
Arriving at Gram’s place, I find Kori at the bottom of the apartment steps with Rover hanging out in the shade nearby.
Now normally, Kori would flash me a smile or shout out a warm greeting. Maybe ask fifty questions. This afternoon, the tiny redhead barely acknowledges my arrival.
“Heard you got registered at school today,” I say, leaving my Harley and walking over to her. “What did you think of Ellsberg Elementary?”
“I don’t like it.”
Surprised by her irritated answer, I ask, “Did someone piss you off?”
“The kid
s were giving me mean looks.”
“What kids?”
“The ones in the office said I had trailer trash clothes,” Kori mutters and rubs her plain pink shirt. “What’s wrong with my clothes?”
“Nothing. You look gorgeous. Now were these little assholes with their mom?”
Kicking the ground, Kori nods. “She was the desk lady.”
“That’s probably Kelly Lynn Buckner. She’s a bitch, and her kids eat their boogers.”
Kori wants to smile about the snot thing, but the weight of the world sits on her narrow shoulders.
“Tell me what’s bugging you.”
“Being a kid sucks.”
“No way. It’s the best. If you don’t think so, you’re doing it wrong.”
Kori shoots me a dirty look, and I use every ounce of self-control not to laugh at her adorable little snarl. “School here will be bad like in Prestonsburg.”
“Why was it bad?”
“The teacher didn’t like me. The kids were mean. I didn’t have any friends. No one liked me.”
“Why don’t you think the kids liked you?”
“They said they didn’t,” she says, and I imagine her being as lonely as Stella and Rae were growing up.
“What was their stupid reason?”
“They said I was a nerd.”
“Oh, yeah, no one likes nerds.” Kori kills me with her dirty look. Laughing, I pat her head. “I can find you five friends by the end of the day. No need to write off the entire town just because Kelly Lynn raised her kids to be as shitty as her. Oh, and her husband always has bad breath. I think something died in his mouth, and he just hasn’t dragged out its corpse yet.”
Sighing, Kori shakes her head. “I like school, but people suck.”
“They do, but my mom told me that she’s going to pull some strings to make sure you get the best first-grade teacher in the school.”
Anger flickering out, Kori drops the pebble in her hand. “Really?”
