by Bijou Hunter
But why not tell me the plan? Did Pop think I’d blab? Am I being tested too?
The meeting ends without Pop declaring his punishment for Eagle Eye. He says he needs to think.
“I don’t know. Maybe I’m being too harsh. Even about Rod. Might not be fair to give a lifetime punishment for something that at most took a few minutes out of woman’s day. It’s a difficult decision for me,” he claims before stating we’ll meet again in a week to make everything official.
Pop plays the game perfectly, but I only want to know if I’ve passed my test. As we walk out of the too-hot back room, he pats me on the shoulder. No words are shared, but I know I answered the question he had about me.
And I got an answer to the question of how large my father’s steel balls are.
THE UNWANTED
With Colt busy with work most of the day, I assume I’ll hang out with MJ or walk over to see Rae. Instead, Farah surprises me with plans to go to the salon.
“We’ll get our nails done,” she announces and then adds, “I thought you might enjoy a conditioning treatment for your hair.”
Immediately self-conscious, I ask, “My hair?”
“Don’t worry. I have it done a few times a year especially after summer when it gets fried from the pool and sun.”
Farah’s gentle tone and the soft expression immediately relax me. If she wanted me to cut my hair into a pixie, I’d probably do it. Though I’m not sure how Colt would like that look. Still, there’s no doubt I’m putty in Farah’s hands.
MJ and Thisbe come along. We pile into one of the family’s SUVs before picking up Rae, Kori, and Jodi on our way to the salon.
“Tawny will meet us there,” Farah says. “We’ll have the salon to ourselves too.”
Rae frowns at me. I know she only came along because Jodi asked.
I ruffle her hair and smile. “You could use a trim.”
“I could use a trim too,” Kori says immediately. “Mom and I can get the same haircut.”
This comment gets a smile out of Rae.
“You’ll look great for first grade,” I say, and she nearly breaks her face smiling.
I catch Farah grinning too. They’re both so excited about school. Rae worries Kori will be disappointed if things don’t live up to her expectations. She used to come home from school crying about the teacher and the kids. She was so bored in class, but she never missed a day. Whatever troubles she finds at Ellsberg Elementary, at least now she has Farah watching out for her.
The salon is nicer than the budget places I normally visit. I feel underdressed despite Farah and Tawny both wearing nearly the same outfits—jean shorts and plain white T-shirts—as I am.
“I don’t want a haircut,” MJ says and walks to the manicure station with her daughter on her hip. “Thisbe wants her nails and toes painted blue like her daddy’s eyes.”
Farah grins at her daughter before leading me to a chair. “Stella, this is the girl who does my hair. Kim’s very sweet and won’t cut too much.”
I sit down and let Farah take charge. I’ve never known what to do with my wavy hair. If it’s short, I look like a clown. If it’s long, I look as if I always just stepped out of a storm.
While Farah explains what she wants for my hair, I watch her in the reflection. Farah is everything I dreamed my mom would be. Her unbreakable love for her kids is why Colt is such a kind and open man. He never hides his feelings from me. When I don’t trust him, that’s on me, never him. But he’s patient, knowing I’m learning to be more like him.
While Kim works on my hair, Farah keeps an eye on me like a protective mother. I soak up the warmth of her gaze. Around us, everyone talks and laughs easily. We’re family now.
But I’m leaving Ellsberg.
Every time I moved out of a foster home, someone I left behind would promise to keep in touch.
But out of sight, out of mind.
Once I was gone, they forgot me. Even the Wilsons—who treated me like a daughter until they found a better one to keep forever—promised they’d see me again. Of course, they didn’t. I stalked them on Facebook like I did my mom, watching how their lives played out after they’d forgotten about me.
My chest tightens, and the tears come quickly. I startle Kim who steps back and looks around nervously. Farah is on her feet and at my side immediately. I notice Kori and Rae frowning while MJ cuddles Thisbe closer as if worried my tears might be contagious.
The children don’t understand my panic, but I think Rae does. Good things happened for us before, but they never lasted long. Getting our hopes up is a recipe for disaster.
But I promise myself this time is different. This time, I have Colt who possesses the power to end my jinx.
“What’s wrong?” Farah asks, hugging me against her.
“I don’t want to move to Pema.”
“Why, baby?”
“I don’t want to leave you,” I mumble. “I don’t want you to forget me.”
“Stella, you’re part of our family. We’ll see you every month. We’ll visit you on the weekends, and you’ll visit us. You’ll come down for Christmas and during the summer for our road trips.”
Shaking my head, I don’t know how to explain. My head understands how things are now, but my heart fears losing what feels so perfect.
“When I move, things change,” is all I can say.
“With the foster families you had?” she asks, and I nod.
Farah’s expression says she understands. Other people forgot. I know she’s not them, but I can’t help fearing another disappointment.
“I’m so happy here,” I mumble and wipe my eyes. “I’m afraid I won’t be the same kind of happy in Pema.”
“I understand,” she says and then whispers, “Honestly, I don’t want you to be too happy there, or you’ll never visit.”
Laughing, I hug her and take a deep breath. “I’m sorry I freaked out.”
“We all have those moments. Just remember that when you have them, you’re not alone.”
“If I fall, someone will be there to catch me.”
“Time after time,” MJ says and sets down Thisbe who walks over to hand me a bottle of pink nail polish.
I thank the little girl who remains concerned. She looks back at MJ who holds out another bottle. After I receive three, Thisbe seems confident that my sadness is handled. She returns to her mother’s lap and gets her nails painted for Quaid.
After my little outburst, I calm down and enjoy the pampering. When the staff doles out drinks and snacks, though, I choose juice rather than a mimosa. I’ve only been off birth control for less than two weeks. Still, I’d rather be safe than sorry in case one of Colt’s sperm already hit the payload, and I’m carrying Farah’s next grandbaby.
THE HEIR
Pop says nothing to me until we arrive home to find an empty house. Quaid doesn’t follow us inside, heading to his tent-dwelling instead. Alone, I wait for my father to speak. He gets a beer, checks his phone, and takes a piss before finally finding his voice.
“What?” he asks when I stare at him.
“When does it go down?”
“Tonight.”
“And when did you plan to tell me?”
“I didn’t figure you needed preparation to kill Rod.”
“I don’t, but...”
“Killing someone isn’t hard, Colton,” Pop says and shrugs. “Well, killing some people is difficult. Like I said, I can’t do a woman. Fucking obviously, I can’t kill a kid, but a man like Eagle Eye? Yeah, it won’t be difficult.”
“How many are dying with them?”
“Six. Plus, Eagle Eye’s family. The wife can’t be trusted. Or the daughter. They’re all going down.”
“That many deaths will bring a lot of attention.”
“We’ll pin it on Cy Mullen.”
Chuckling, I ask, “You mean, the dead Cy Mullen?”
“No one knows if he’s really dead. Topher buried him somewhere.”
“What if h
e’s not dead?”
Pop shakes his head, having considering all these questions already. “He’d have come back by now if he wasn’t. It’s not as if the fucker has other skills. Once he heard Topher was dead, he’d come sniffing around for money. No, he’s dead, but no one can prove that.”
“Seems to me, and I’m just observing from the outside of your plan, that one guy doing all the killing seems farfetched.”
“Look, the local cops won’t cause trouble. If I give them someone to blame, they’ll blame that person. They don’t want to get involved in club business. The state police might sniff around, looking for a way to turn the deaths into something they can use against the club. That’s why the only people who know what’s going down are us. Not even Animal is privy to the details.”
“Ah, but the club guys who live will know they dodged a bullet.”
“Exactly. They’ll also know in the future that they might not be so lucky,” Pop says and chugs half of his beer. “That’s how my pop would have done it.”
“Who offs who?”
“You handle Rod. That’s it. I’m not giving you an orgy to work with on the night you pop your cherry.”
“Nice analogy.”
“Vaughn will go with you,” Pop says before adding in a quieter voice, “You know, to do the women. He won’t make a show of it. Just pop them quick. You can do Rod the same way or make it more personal. Then Vaughn will burn their house to the ground. I don’t know what Eagle Eye might have stashed in there, so it’s best to get rid of as much as possible.”
“What about Jim Bean?”
Pop exhales roughly. “You can’t know how much I wanted that fucker to turn on me and he didn’t disappoint. He’s been careful about talking shit about our family since MJ was shot, but he’s still been spreading it.”
“Men like him don’t appreciate mercy.”
“No, they don’t,” Pop says as his dark eyes flash angrily. “I fucked up not making an example of him. Things were good for the club, and I didn’t believe in rocking the boat. Except this isn’t an ordinary business, and they’re not my regular employees. In a motorcycle club, the president’s word is law. I think I forgot that for a while, and more than a few of them forgot it too.”
“Plausible denial or not, everyone will know you ordered the hits. It’ll do wonders for your rep.”
“Yeah, maybe even Hayes will show me a little respect,” he says, chuckling.
“Probably not. He’s older and closer to death, meaning less likely to change.”
Pop loves when I talk shit about his friendly rival. Smiling, he finishes his beer and sighs. “Your mom doesn’t know what’s going down. If I can keep my mouth shut with my woman, you can do the same with yours.”
“Even if I wanted to blab, Stella doesn’t need to know those things.”
Pop smiles softly. “I’m going to miss the fuck out of you when you’re in Pema, but this is what you need. I raised you to run shit, and it’s time you did.”
“I’ll miss you too. Probably be down here every weekend in the beginning. I’m a mama’s boy, and Ellsberg might never stop feeling like my real home.”
“River is the same way, but he does fine up in Shasta. You’ll do even better in Pema. It’s past time for you to strike out on your own but don’t think I won’t bitch about not seeing you. I like my kids close. Nothing wrong in admitting I have a weakness for my family.”
A hug seems in order, so I indulge in the urge. I feel as if we’re saying goodbye. Could be from my upcoming move. Or we’re worried something might turn sour tonight. I only know I hug him for a bit too long, not that he seems to mind.
We hear voices at the front door. With the women arriving, I start to turn away, but Pop grabs me.
“If you can’t do what you need to do tonight,” he says, staring into my eyes, “don’t take any chances. Don’t hesitate is what I’m saying. Some men don’t have it in them to take a life. That doesn’t mean you can’t lead. It just means you know the lines you can’t cross.”
“Pop, it’s okay.”
“If you can’t do Rod, just let Vaughn handle it. I can’t have you getting hurt or worse because you choke. It happens to everyone. Fuck, I couldn’t do Gary Lee. He looked like the kid I saw grow up. I choked, but Quaid was there to handle shit. Vaughn will be there for you tonight. Just don’t let your ego get you killed, Colton. You have a woman now, and I don’t think she could survive without you.”
My woman appears in the living room, sporting sleek, shiny blonde hair and pink nails. After a few hours of pampering, she looks rejuvenated, but I also notice puffiness around her eyes. Was she crying from sadness or happiness? It’s a question I’ll ask another time. Right now, I just want to hold her close.
“Have fun today?” I ask while Mom shows off her nails to Pop by scratching his chest in a way that makes me a little queasy.
Wearing a soft smile, Stella only nods. “Life’s never been this good.”
“And it’ll only get better,” I promise.
Kissing Stella gently, I’m afraid to show too much emotion and give away my nerves. She might be aware I’m tense, but we’re distracted by Thisbe who enters the house with a balloon. Two-year-olds find balloons to be insanely interesting and she keeps everyone entertained for a solid hour.
We eat a light dinner. I don’t want to get logy. I can’t hesitate when the time comes. Right now, Rod’s probably sulking, but Pop left the door open for him to regain his place in the club. That was smart. Rod and his father view Pop as weak, indecisive. They don’t expect him to strike. Not tonight after he backed down today.
But the second Rod sees me, he’ll know what’s up. I don’t know if he hangs out at home armed. I don’t usually, but guns are always nearby. Hidden so Thisbe and the other kids won’t get to them, but they’re stashed close. It’ll be the same for Rod. I can’t waste time talking shit. This isn’t like one of those action movie Stella and I love to watch. In real life, people don’t monologue. Quaid took out Gary Lee without any fanfare.
I’m nervous about ending up covered in Rod’s blood. Killing someone up close is messy. I know that much. Even shooting them at a distance can leave blood splatter on a guy’s clothes. Judd taught me that.
I run the scenario through my head during dinner. I picture Eagle Eye’s house. Rod lives at home since breaking up with his high school girlfriend a few years back. His sister will be there too. They’re a tight family. It’s why they’re all going down.
Vaughn will arrive straight on. Eagle Eye views the enforcer as a hippie. We all laugh about that shit. He’ll probably assume Vaughn is there to discuss what happened between Jera, Nevaeh, and Sylvie. Earlier, I noticed Vaughn chatting up the other man. Oh, you know how girls can be, ha-ha. Eagle Eye won’t be scared to see Vaughn. I’ll give it away, though. There’s no way I can come straight on without alerting them to what’s up.
Vaughn can take front and center. I’ll need to run around back. Watch for anyone trying to escape. Vaughn will likely work so fast that they won’t know what hit them. Killing tonight isn’t about making people suffer. It’s about cleaning house.
Except for me. I want Rod to know. I need what happened to Rae to matter to him for at least a second of his life. He might not care about her, but he’ll know her suffering is why he’s suffering. Why his family is dead. Even if he won’t live long, he needs to understand how he kicked over the first domino to his family’s doom. He sealed their fates the very fucking second he walked into that motel room.
Mom and Tawny don’t think anything of us leaving for work after sunset. Pop and the guys sometimes ride for hours around town. Other times, we just go off to do “man shit.”
The sisters know how to keep themselves entertained when the men play. MJ does ask Quaid if he wants her to wait up. He says she better. They smile easily, neither worried. He’s been killing people all his adult life—first for Uncle Sam and now the club. MJ understands that club men do shit that she do
esn’t want to know about, so she rarely asks where he’s going. She trusts him. Mom trusts Pop. Aunt Tawny trusts Judd. Can Stella trust me that way?
Admittedly, she doesn’t want me to go. Not because she’s worried. No, she’s just horny. I know that damn look. During dinner, she whispered about how she wanted to rub her new silky hair on my naked body. As much as I’d love a quickie, relaxed isn’t the mood I want to be in tonight. Not until the deed is done.
I tell her I’ll be back later to make her toes curl. Stella doesn’t complain. She just smiles at me before joining MJ on the couch where they create tiny braids in Thisbe’s hair. The child looks ridiculous, but the way the women laugh makes my heart race. My woman fits in so perfectly with my family. It’s like she’s been one of us all along, but we just hadn’t found her yet.
Pop doesn’t give me another pep talk before he goes to do Jim Bean. Gary Lee’s mom gets to live because she’s out of town. Besides, I don’t think Vaughn wants to race all over town offing the women that none of us have the balls to kill. He’ll focus on Nora Leigh and Jera. Do Eagle Eye too. I only have one target, but I worry I’ll be the weak link in tonight’s bloodbath.
Should I amp up my rage to make killing easier? Or get in the weird zen state like Vaughn is when he tells me to sneak around the back of Eagle Eye’s house? What’s the right answer? Is there one?
Like most club guys, Eagle Eye lives away from town. Privacy is important, whether from snooping neighbors or the cops. The family has two dogs. A big motherfucker who bit a kid last summer and a tiny motherfucker that bit a different kid the summer before last. I don’t know what Vaughn plans to do with them. I figure if he can kill a woman that he can handle a dog.
Moving through the muggy night, I hold the gun in my gloved hands. Vaughn says it’s a throwaway that can’t be traced back to the club.
“Don’t actually throw it away, though,” he tells me, fighting laughter. “River threw his in a dumpster after his first kill, and I had to fish the damn thing back out. Give it to me when you’re done, and I’ll get rid of it properly.”
