by Erin R Flynn
“People fear my house because we were powerful, but even more than that, some knew the truth and that my family were monsters. I mean monsters, Inez.” I begged her with my eyes to understand. “That I was a monster too. You treated me like I was, and I’m so, so sorry that your traumas dumped salt in mine and I didn’t see that was what it was. I thought you were… I don’t know, but I didn’t see it.”
“I don’t understand,” she admitted. “I was reacting to your rage. You were so seriously angry, and it was terrifying.”
I sat up, biting back a moan when it moved her in a delicious way. I cupped her cheek and kept her gaze. “I never offered you any violence from the moment we met. You felt my power, and you reacted on fear, assuming I would use that power to hurt. You kept begging me not to hurt them when I didn’t even act annoyed with them. I understand that was because of Clarence or how you lived.
“I see that now, but you saw me and reacted like I was a mass murderer and monster, and I instantly reacted to that salt in my old wounds. I shouldn’t have, and I missed I was doing it.” I kissed the corner of her mouth, thrilled when she gave a soft gasp. “I was raised a monster, but I fled them. I didn’t want to be a monster.”
“What happened?” she asked when I couldn’t seem to go on and be vulnerable with her. “Please tell me, Kristof. Please? I won’t tell. I’m trying to understand.”
“When I was a boy, just becoming a man, my fangs came in. Mine were earlier than yours, but boys were considered men so much younger back then. But that meant it was time to feed. I had only seen my mother feed on her nobles, so when they told me how it was to be done, in the middle of court, and to become a man, I never questioned it.
“They brought in a willing human woman around my age, maybe a bit older, and told me I was to feed on her while making her a woman. She was willing, she said it was an honor even, as her human family would want for nothing. I was young and too many eyes watching, so when she knelt before me, yes, I wanted what she offered.
“As boys do, I finished too fast, mortified and distracted by the whispers, my mother’s laughter I was an embarrassment. I was determined to do better at the rest. My fangs were early to some. I was strong. I was of the house of Priest, and I would not shame my family in becoming a man. So I took the girl, showing my strength and feeding like I’d seen my mother.”
“What happened, Kristof?” she breathed when I stopped again. “You took too much blood?”
I let out a dark chuckle. “No, I crushed her body. I killed her, not knowing I was ejaculating inside a dead woman until after when her lifeless eyes stared back at me.” I hugged her, needing her to help me admit what I had not before, help heal that boy who had about lost his mind in that moment. “They knew I’d do it. It was for entertainment.
“My mother brought a human woman in for me to fuck to death as entertainment for her court, watching me lose my virginity that way. I had no idea I’d be that much stronger. I had no idea I could crush her in that way. I learned after it wasn’t just me. She’d done the same to my older brothers, enjoying that as sick, sick entertainment and forbidding us from warning each other.”
“I’m sorry,” she rasped, healing me when I felt her warm tears on my skin. “I’m so sorry, Kristof.”
“I was crushed when I hurt your bottom,” I admitted. “Absolutely crushed at doing the one thing I’d promised never to do and forget my strength. You’re so powerful that I forgot you were a baby vampire, and I’m so sorry, Inez.”
“I know. You made sure I knew that. I was never mad about that, and I would have spoken up if it injured me for real. It was just too rough, but I was glad because it showed me that line.”
“If I tell you the rest, will you promise not to shy away from me again?” I begged, actually begged her, my need for her cracking me in a way I hadn’t in so long. “You opened me up to what I thought I never could feel, and I am so lost and panicked that the one thing I never thought I would want I have found and she will never forgive me.”
She didn’t answer right away. “I didn’t mean for my own issues to hurt yours. Yes, I felt your power, and yes, it’s a lot, but you were also the first I really felt, and then I felt like a fucking bug. Clarence was there, and after five years of him hunting me, seeing me as nothing more than—I was overwhelmed and realizing I was so far over my head I wasn’t drowning, I was already drowned really.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t see that sooner.”
“I can’t promise what you tell me won’t make me change the way I think about you. I’m a pretty understanding person, but I also haven’t forgiven you, Kristof. You hurt me. I trusted you, and you hurt me. I have—I’ve never trusted before Darius, Jaxon, and you, and it went so wrong so fast, and I’ve just been terrified. I don’t understand why you changed and hated me.”
“I don’t and didn’t hate you,” I promised, kissing her hair when she covered her face. “I was angry with Aether for pushing me through Her maze, making me pulled to you. You will understand when I explain more, and unfortunately I have more and more stories of how princesses have mistreated me, but the two of my family were by far the worst.”
“Wait, I can’t,” she murmured, pushing away my hands when I slid them under her skirt and cupped her ass. “I can’t.”
“Please,” I whispered against her lips. “Please don’t say I can’t touch you. You won’t let me touch you again after you hear how sick my family was.”
“I wouldn’t ever blame you for what they did, only what you’ve done, and you hurt me,” she rasped, not pushing me away but curling into me. She let out a soft gasp as I massaged her ass, moving her against me. “You don’t deserve this after what you did.”
“I don’t,” I agreed. “But I think I’m falling in love with you, and I didn’t even realize it, and I never thought I was capable of that. The idea that maybe you were what I needed not to be so broken and I ruined that kills me. I’ve been losing my fucking mind, Inez, and I’m terrified I will become the monster many have thought me if you reject me.”
She was quiet again but then gave my neck a soft kiss. “I trusted you once with what I didn’t think I could trust anyone with. You have to fix that trust. I don’t know what else to say. I’m not against you trying. I’m glad you want to instead of fucking women in front of me and making me feel like trash.”
“I wanted you. I was worried I’d do something I’d regret, so I took them and thought only of you,” I confessed, hating how horrible that sounded. “They didn’t care for me. They wanted a big cock and a fuck they couldn’t get from others.”
She flinched. “That wasn’t what you were to me. Is that how women have treated you?”
“Always,” I chuckled darkly.
“I came to you because you were the most beautiful man I’d ever seen but dangerous, like how beautiful a tiger is before it eats you. I wanted you to show me more, maybe get eaten in the best way, but not bitten like you did.”
“I swear I will eat you in every way and not hurt you again.”
“Tell me the rest.”
“Can I touch you more?”
“Yes, but you’re not forgiven,” she muttered after a moment.
I nodded, sliding my hands up and moving them under her sweater. She shivered when I pulled her bra down and held them naked in my hands. “I know you thought Lara’s breasts were the best ever, but that isn’t true. Yours are the most perfect breasts I have ever seen in my many years.”
She blushed in that way I loved. “They’re smaller than sexy women. Men always talk about loving huge tits.”
“More than a handful isn’t needed,” I promised her. “Yes, ample breasts are lovely, but yours are perfection and so sensitive to every touch and lick that it’s maddening. They are the best.”
She licked her lips as she stared into my eyes. “Tell me the rest you’re avoiding, and I’ll take off my sweater so you can see them again.”
Well damn. No more stalling. I let out a shak
y breath. “I was booted out of my coven as the young Pinault. I wouldn’t give my oath to the woman my mother wanted me to.” I swallowed loudly when she nodded, not understanding what I’d been so desperate to hide. “The princess was my older sister.”
She swallowed loudly but kept it together. “Did you want her?”
“No, not ever.”
“Then you’re not sick or a monster,” she promised, leaning into my hands. “Tell me the rest and get it off your shoulders, Kristof. Trust me the way I trusted you.”
“My sister tried to seduce me after I killed the human woman. I don’t honestly think she ever had any sexual feelings for me. It took me a while to understand that. It was the game. She was raised that she could have whatever she wanted, deserved whatever she wanted.”
Understanding flared in her eyes. “And a sibling was the one thing she couldn’t have, shouldn’t have, and that probably infuriated such a warped person.”
“Yes, that is what I think after knowing more of the world and sick people.” I shrugged. “She is long gone, and I will never truly know, but she never seemed to care, a cat chasing a mouse that finally gives up because it just can’t keep running anymore.”
“I know that feeling well,” she whispered, looking away. “I almost gave up several times when Clarence hunted me. I couldn’t keep going and going, them always right there.” She wouldn’t pull away, but I would let her.
“That doesn’t make you weak, Inez. It made you alone to handle more than most could.” I brushed my lips over hers. “So I was booted but half ran as well as soon as I knew enough of the world to at least have a chance at survival. But then I was a pawn as a noble from the house Priest, and somewhere along the line I hardened myself. I expected the betrayal and games. It was assumed.”
“I wasn’t playing you,” she whispered. “I wouldn’t do that.”
“You’re right, you wouldn’t. I know that. I was angry because Aether would. Instead of seeing you were in the same maze I was, I was angry I was in the maze because of you. I’m sorry. The moment I had thoughts of wanting to be at your side or wanting more of you than dirty fucking, I tried to harden myself. I was scared and upset and feeling played with, but none of the anger was for you.”
“There was a lot of anger for me when you came to me that night,” she argued, shaking as she remembered it. “You looked like you were itching to squash me.”
“Because I thought it as a game,” I confessed. “I finally start being tempted by a princess, and then you’re clearly avoiding me when most have offered me everything they could to have the last Priest at their side, the protection I can give with my age and blood. I thought you were playing coy to ensnare me more, and given Aether pushed me to you, I was enraged.”
“You scared me, and I can see that my past clouded that too, but I’m sorry, I have to feel like I know you wouldn’t ever squash me.” She moved her hand to my mouth when I went to argue. “Cerdic is powerful, I can feel that now. I never feel malice from him. That’s what I felt. You were angry, and that is scary whether it be at me or not. I’m the baby vampire, remember? I almost wet myself I was so scared.”
“I know, and that pissed me off. I’ve not been a monster to you, Inez. I didn’t deserve that. Fine, I punched a hole in the trailer, but I’ve not remotely touched you in anger.”
“That second time you did,” she muttered, shaking again. “You touched me while angry, really angry, and it felt like punishment. That’s not really different than you touching me in anger. That’s why I was so scared.”
I felt the lightbulb go off overhead practically. “I didn’t see the difference or how it would seem to you. I didn’t until you just said that. I just saw a change, and I didn’t understand it.”
“I saw the anger and I didn’t understand it, but you were being such a jerk to me and about backing away from you. It wasn’t fair. I was being honest with you, and you were—you made me feel so dirty and like a piece of shit slut.”
“I know. I know, and I’m so sorry,” I rasped, kissing her as she softly cried. “I didn’t realize what I did. I didn’t understand so much, and I’m so very and truly sorry I hurt you. It killed me to hear you cry. I thought of anything I could to make you happy, and when you slept I searched all over until I found the cows. I wanted that for you, My Princess.”
She flinched. “I’m not your princess. You made it clear I won’t ever be.”
“I’ve changed my mind.”
“No, it’s because I’m bleeding, right? Or this is something else and you just want—” She blew out a harsh breath and pushed to stand. “You made it clear you would never want to be with me.”
I knelt before her, gripping her skirt as she fixed her bra and sweater. “That’s changed. You’ve changed me. I swear it’s true. I kneel before you begging you to believe me, Inez. What game could I play in that way?”
She stared down at me, a mixture of worry, hurt, and anger in her eyes. “I don’t know, maybe you should suck something while you’re down there and be my slut this time?”
“Gladly,” I groaned, moving my head under her skirt before she could even react. I licked her pussy that dripped with her blood as we’d been talking so long. I’d felt it on my skin, and it had pushed up my frenzied need, but now tasting her I knew I couldn’t ever let her go. I had finally fallen for a princess and needed her in a way I’d never needed anyone.
She came with a cry, my many centuries of experience aiding me at the moment, but I didn’t stop, pleasing her and at least showing her the chemistry we had. When she finished a second time, I pulled her back down to straddle my lap.
She growled and shoved my hands away, taking me in her tight, perfect body. I watched as that anger and hurt flared in her captivating green eyes. “Is this what you want?”
“Yes, ride me, Inez.”
“No.”
“No?” I whispered, giving her a confused look.
“No, you don’t deserve it.” She shook her head when I went to argue. “You don’t. You hurt me. I get your explanation, I even get things clouding what was going on for you, I felt the same, but you were taking your anger out on me that I didn’t deserve. I don’t trust you.” She sat back and yanked off her sweater and bra. “So I’m going to be mean this time. You deserve that.
“You deserve me taunting you the way you assumed I was when I came to you with nothing but trust and hope you felt as I did. You crushed me.” She touched her breasts and moaned as she moved her hips but then stopped herself as if remembering she was supposed to punish me. “So remember how tight I am around you, how you like my breasts, and this moment.”
I swallowed loudly. “And then what?”
She licked her lips as she eyed me over. “You show me you deserve me again. You show you are worth me trusting. You stop hurting me with the snide remarks or comments you wouldn’t put me in a bubble because you don’t care or—”
“That is not what I meant,” I argued, understanding at least why she had flinched and shut down. “I would never cage you, and a bubble is a cage. That would kill me, and I would never do it to you.”
“Oh, that’s much better,” she admitted but then narrowed her eyes at me. “And no more fucking other women just because you can’t have me. You did that. That’s your fault. Fix it, not make me feel completely replaceable.”
“Yes, My Princess,” I whispered, thinking she was being generous with even giving me a chance after I’d hurt her worse than I’d thought. “Use me, Inez. I won’t finish.”
“No, that would be really mean,” she muttered, moving off of me with a whimper.
I didn’t have the heart to tell her that so was taking me in her and driving me nuts with her blood soaking into my cock, but she clearly didn’t get how it was for us. Instead, I rolled to my knees and stared up at her when her clothes were fixed. “I am Kristof of the house Priest, and I submit a formal request to court you.”
“You’re serious,” she breathed, her eyes bu
g wide.
“Yes.”
“Where would you kiss?” she asked, studying me as if curious how far I was willing to go.
All the way. I was willing to go all the way to have her in my life. I leaned down and kissed her pretty little toes.
“I accept, but if you hurt me again or are a jerk, I’ll revoke it so you can’t hurt me a third time,” she whispered. She turned and walked away.
Which was so fucking adorable given she had no idea where we were and I had to take us back. Fuck, I thought that cute. I was so sunk.
17
Kristof had had a nervous breakdown. That was the only conclusion I could come to. His issues had dumped salt in my issues, and mine had done the same, and along with some miscommunication and assumptions, his old wounds had been torn open.
And I understood that because like wow, he came from a fucked up family. Yikes!
But that had to be what had happened, and with all the crazy and then my period fucking with them… He’d had a breakdown like I’d had. He was panicked and fragile and desperate. Basically, he was everything Kristof wasn’t. So he’d cracked and thought we should court.
Fine, I’d caved in that moment, caring for him and accepting his explanation even if I couldn’t forgive him for everything he’d done yet. That either helped him move from the place his mind had been or settled him somehow. I wasn’t sure, but I was pretty sure of that being what had taken place.
Especially when he acted like nothing had happened when we arrived back at camp, his normal aloof, disinterested self.
“Good morning, love,” Cerdic greeted me, sneaking a quick kiss. “Everything settled and the hardass apologized?”
I nodded, realizing we had other worried ears. “We talked. It was good.”
“Princess Inez accepted my request to court her officially,” Kristof added, frowning when several people spit out their coffee or choked on what they were eating.
“And you did that of your own accord?” Vance checked. I bit back a wince because of how that would set off Kristof.
