by Stone, Piper
I glanced at my reflection in the mirror then made a turn, still conflicted but taking the song selection as some kind of crazy sign. In the course of the next twenty minutes, two other songs that had been played to death on the base came on. Yeah, maybe karma was sick to freaking death of my whining and feeling sorry for myself.
The location had been easy to find the first time, the sun shining brightly over the entrance. Slowing to a crawl, I took a deep breath then headed past the stone posts.
I cut the engine in the truck, leaning over the steering wheel, trying not to think at all, but the pain continued to jab into my gut, the razor edge refusing to end. When I climbed out, a ray of sun seemed to be pulsing down over me. I glared into the sky, forced to shield my eyes even though I was wearing sunglasses, laughing softly to myself. This wasn’t about me. Nah. This was about something else entirely.
I’d memorized the location of the gravesite, although I hadn’t planned on even remembering it, but here I was. Only a couple of minutes later, I stood in front of Snake’s grave. The light breeze seemed to cut through me even though the temperature was warmer than it had since I’d arrived. I shoved my hands into my pockets, suddenly frozen.
Nothing seemed real at this moment, but as a flood of memories slammed into my mind, my breathing became more labored, the ache in my heart intensifying.
The vivid images were so damn detailed, creating a wave of anxiety as adrenaline rushed into every cell and muscle.
Six rough and tumble assholes taking over a section of the river, pretending as if we didn’t have a care in the world, drinking whatever rotgut shit we’d been able to get our hands on.
The first day at basecamp, still acting like we were bad-asses, learning within days we were nothing but gum on the bottom of a shoe.
One horrible night when everything seemed to explode all around us, the events of the night stripping away our boyhood as our uniforms became soaked with blood.
Angry young men forced to face the ugliness, finally able to accept our intensive training had been the only thing to keep us alive.
And six friends determined to make it through our careers together, promising we’d always remain close.
I crouched down, taking several deep breaths as I thought about the last conversation I’d had with Snake.
Over music.
I shook my head, able to crack a smile, yanking off my sunglasses out of respect. Talking to him seemed to be the right thing to do. “Do you remember when you did everything you could to convince me that the song ‘Just Fishin’’ by Trace Adkins was the best damn piece of music ever written? And do you remember we actually got into an argument about it, eventually coming to blows?” A laugh surfaced, although my chest continued to feel heavy. I could still see the fight in my mind, the hard punches that had knocked both of us to the ground. It had taken all four of the other guys to drag us away from each other.
Of course it hadn’t helped that we’d been drinking for a good part of the evening.
“You could give a hard right hook, my friend.”
I stared at his name, the reality that he really wasn’t coming back finally hitting home.
But not in the way it had before. Maybe I finally realized that I could remember some of the good times along with the bad.
“I miss ya, Snake. We all do. It’s not the same around here, but it’s good to be home. You were a damn amazing friend and an even better soldier. I know how proud of you your parents are, as the rest of your team is. Maybe one day we’ll meet again.”
I lowered my head, but there were no tears, even though sorrow remained. I hadn’t been able to shed a single tear since the day of the explosion. From that day forth, I’d felt dead inside.
Until a few nights ago.
“I met a girl, well, a beautiful woman. You’d like her. As a matter of fact, I think you’d try to steal her away. You know I wouldn’t allow that to happen.” Another laugh popped to the surface. “Nope. I’d kick your fuckin’ ass. Hell, not that she belongs to me. You’d also remind me that she’s too good for an asshole like me and this time, you’d be right.”
I thought about the house I’d purchased and cringed. The place wasn’t the kind of home she’d planned on when searching for her Prince Charming.
I felt the need to trace his name, maybe in some effort to finally get closure.
“Damn it. Why did you have to die? Why didn’t you follow Hawk’s orders?” The anger surfaced, the ache burning deep inside. “Ah, buddy. I would have done anything to save your life. I’m so sorry.”
The light breeze whistled through the swaying trees and for a few seconds, it was like a lilting voice was singing the most beautiful song. Jesus. I was losing it. I adjusted the bunch of dying flowers, patting the top of the grave then swallowing hard.
“I’ll check in on you from time to time. You rest. Hopefully, you’re bossing around everyone in heaven.”
As I rose to my feet, a portion of the heavy weight seemed to lift from my shoulders. Perhaps time was all I needed in order to be able to feel happy again. I made a promise to myself to try, although I knew my continued guilt would keep me from early success.
“So long, my friend. You will never be forgotten.”
Just saying the words made me sick inside.
The drive to the new house was uneventful, the music soothing, but I was itching to contact Francesca. Maybe I’d clean myself up later and go and see her.
Besides, I could use another bowl of ice cream.
I managed to keep a partial smile on my face almost the entire drive. As I pulled close to the house, I took a deep breath, studying the trashed property I was determined to make livable. I was still disgusted with my progress. At the rate of speed that I was working at, I’d be lucky to have a finished house by December. Fortunately, there was a working bathroom, including a shower and the electricity was on. No more generators for the power tools.
Small wins were a must.
And there was a small refrigerator ready to be stocked with beer. I grinned as I jumped out of the truck, immediately grabbing the bag of groceries and walking inside, shaking my head as I walked over several pieces of lumber. Almost all the demolition was done. That had to be worth something. Maybe I deserved a cold one. Hell, it was five o’clock somewhere.
I grabbed one of the bottles before shoving the remainder into the small fridge, then leaned against the counter, staring first at the bare bones of the cabinets. Then I shifted my attention to my hand, flexing my fingers. After taking a long pull of cool liquid, I shoved the bottle onto the scratched counter then ripped the wrapping away. I turned my hand back and forth before tossing the bandage into one of the trash piles. It was as good as it was going to get.
Moving outside, I stood on the porch, leaning over the rickety railing. I’d made it clear to the others by my gruff actions that I needed some time alone. Then again, I did like the atmosphere in Raunchy Ride. I was one pathetic man.
I put the bottle on the railing then yanked off my shirt, tossing it onto the stairs. Time to get to work.
After several cuts, I took the studs inside, laying them out along with the others I’d already cut then grabbed my nail gun. Within minutes, I had another wall standing. Hell, I was getting pretty good at this. The moment I walked outside I heard a vehicle approaching. I grabbed my shirt, wiping my hands. Only the guys knew where I lived.
When I noticed Franny’s truck, I wasn’t certain how I felt about it.
Until Francesca climbed out of the driver’s side, wearing a pair of tight black jeans and a white top that accentuated everything God had given her.
Long curls flowing in the breeze.
Dark shades hiding her eyes.
Her feet in tennis shoes, which only added to her sex appeal.
Hot damn, she looked good.
As she walked closer, a smile crossed her face. “You bought this place, cowboy?”
“Let me guess, Hawk told you.”
S
he bit her lower lip, faking a sheepish look. “Maybe I followed you. You never know what I’m capable of.”
“That is true. You’re one disobedient brat.”
“Brat?” she asked as she inched closer, still keeping a slight distance. She finally lifted her sunglasses, eyeing me with mischief in her eyes.
“Oh, yeah. My guess is you’ve been a bad girl these past couple of days.”
Sighing, she once again donned her shades before closing the distance. “Maybe a little. What about you? You went and bought a house on the spur of the moment.”
“No time like the present.”
“The place has… potential.”
I laughed before removing her sunglasses, lowering my head and drinking in the scent of her perfume. “You mean it’s a shithole.”
Chuckling, she tilted her head, allowing her gaze to fall down to my waist then back up again. “You’ve been working.”
“A man’s gotta make use of himself.”
“My guess is you’re very talented.”
“I’m not sure about that. Come on in. Just be careful where you walk.”
She trailed behind me as I grabbed the lukewarm beer, walking inside. As I watched her studying the room, turning around in a full circle, I wasn’t certain whether she was going to criticize or compliment.
“Would you like a beer?” I finally asked.
“Sure. I took the afternoon off.”
I grabbed two more and when I walked to the door leading into the living room, I couldn’t help but smile. She seemed mesmerized by the fireplace, brushing the tips of her fingers around several of the stones. Sensing my presence, she tensed.
I eased the beer over her shoulder, sliding it across her cheek.
She shuddered, her body swaying. “This is going to be beautiful.”
“One day.” I shifted around to face her, leaning against the stone. “Why did you come here?”
“Maybe because I wanted to see you.” She didn’t seem to be able to look me in the eyes.
“And why is that?”
“Maybe I like you. Did you ever think of that?”
“There’s not much to like, Francesca.”
“Call me Franny. I like the way you say it.”
I shook my head and took a pull on my beer. “I heard about the new fire.”
“It’s awful. A man died.”
“I know. I had a visit from the sheriff.”
She jerked up her head. “What? What did she want?”
“Answers about my stay at the lovely motel.”
“Oh, fuck. How the hell did she know?” She cocked her head, huffing. “The registry.”
“Yup. The guy kept it remotely, but there’s more. She knew about the truck, as in your truck. I doubt the owner was in a good enough condition to list every vehicle he’d seen that night, but he sure as shit remembered yours. Maybe he recognized you.”
“I bet he has pictures for security purposes. That’s how he remembered.” She pressed her fingers against her mouth. “I’m curious. Were you planning on warning me?”
A hint of her usual defiance didn’t surprise me, but the vehemence she used did. “Yeah, I was.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
“Are you accusing me of something? I wasn’t the one who wanted to run away from law enforcement that night.”
Franny opened her mouth as if to retort then exhaled. “You’re right. I was a fool to think I could get away from my life.”
“What’s so bad about your life, Franny? Your ex-husband?”
Now she was pissed. “You’ve been checking up on me? How dare you.”
“Wait a minute. I didn’t do a damn thing. Hawk wanted to let me know why you might be hiding.”
“Hiding?” She bristled and I could swear she was preparing to slap me.
I grabbed her hand, yanking her closer. “Not so fast, sweetheart. I’m not trying to hurt you. In fact, Hawk knows me better than most. He figured out I’d protect you at all costs.”
She twisted her mouth, pressing her hand against my chest. The feel of her fingers against my skin was enough to make my heart thud against my chest several times. “You don’t need to protect me. Not really. The asshole is out of my life.”
“Does that mean he hurt you?”
“Stop worrying. Okay?”
I dragged her onto her tiptoes, rolling my arm over her shoulder to her waist. There was nothing like the feel of her in my arms. “I’m not worried. I can handle just about anything.” As I captured her mouth, it was as if nothing else mattered but the taste of her.
She undulated her hips, the friction created driving straight through me. I adored her hesitance at first, uncertain whether she should allow herself to surrender as she’d done before. As the kiss became more passionate, she moaned, the sound floating into the air around us.
I dominated her tongue, swishing mine back and forth, my cock aching just as it had done before. When she pressed her hands against my chest, wiggling until she was able to push away, I lifted a single eyebrow. “Why do I have the feeling you have something to tell me.”
“Confess is more like it.”
She took a decided step away, nursing her beer for a full minute.
“Spill it, brat,” I teased.
“I know what happened in Afghanistan. I know about the death of your friend and the fact the actions of your unit are under scrutiny again.”
The words weren’t ones I’d expected to hear and they hurt, cutting through every layer in my heart and soul. I could feel her condemnation, just like my buddies and I had received from so many damn assholes who had no idea what went on and couldn’t give a shit about us.
I was shaking, the anger building to a boiling point.
“I just… My friend is a reporter and she must know somebody in the military and, well, I told her about you and…”
I didn’t bother to wait to hear whatever she was going to say. After storming out of the house, I tossed the beer bottle. It bounced off the deck and smashed against the railing. Even the sound of shattered glass did little to calm my rage. I moved toward the miter saw, yanking a piece of wood from the pile on the ground and trying to concentrate. Beads of sweat rolled into my eyes and even as I wiped them furiously, they continued coming.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!
She’d invaded my privacy, a world that I wanted to shut down, to shove aside.
Although I now knew that was never going to happen. I would always be marked as a monster. As I flipped the switch, the roaring sound of the blade allowed my harsh growl to be hidden by the noise. I was torn apart inside, more so than I’d been before.
After cutting, I tossed the piece, immediately grabbing another one.
Then another.
And a fourth.
And nothing was calming my fury.
When I was forced to retrieve another few pieces from the back of my truck, I sensed her presence. I glared at her as she approached, then did my best to ignore her, although I was unable to position the piece in order to cut the damn thing.
“You’re good at that,” she said quietly. “Is it hard to do? I’m not very experienced with tools.”
I took a deep breath, holding it in for a few seconds. Jesus. She wasn’t to blame for any damn thing. Taking out my wrath on someone who actually seemed to give a damn was ridiculous. “It’s not hard at all. Do you want to try it?”
“Oh, I’m afraid I’d cut my fingers off.”
I chuckled, even though the sound was just as harsh as my yell from before. “Come on. I’ll guide you.”
She inched closer, her eyes never leaving mine. “I trust you.”
Trust.
How the hell could she trust a monster?
I grabbed the measuring tape “All you have to do is measure out how many inches you either want to keep or want to save. I need four inches taken off.” When I handed her the tape, our fingers touched. The shot of electricity forced me to swallow.
She seemed
just as disturbed but tried to continue, finding the pencil then measuring and making a mark. “Like that?”
“Just like that.”
“Don’t you need to draw a line?”
“Not with a saw like this. It does all the work for you. Just pull the handle, bringing the blade down to the piece of wood.”
“It won’t just start, will it?”
She seemed genuinely concerned.
“No. You said you could trust me.”
A smile curled on her face and she nodded. “Yes, I do.” She did as I directed, holding the tip of the blade in the exact spot.
“Now, lift it just a little bit and press the button by your finger. Hold steady and pull back. It’s called a compound miter saw. One powerful tool.”
She narrowed her eyes, giving me an unrecognizable look before doing exactly as I asked without hesitation. There was no shaking of her hand, no expression of worry.
“Why do I have the feeling that you know your way around tools after all?”
She laughed, shrugging her shoulders. “My dad taught me, but it has been awhile. I don’t get much time to do anything creative with the job I have.”
I shook my head. “Maybe you can teach me a thing or two.”
“Maybe I can. That is, if you’re willing to learn.”
There was nothing I hated more than awkward silence between us. While I’d never been big on conversation, I wanted to open up with her more. Maybe our connection had allowed me to feel entirely different than the man who had been shaped from years of training.
“I’m sorry about before. It’s been a long road and I’m not certain I can go through it again.”
“I’m not prying, Vader. My girlfriend knows everything I’ve been through and also knew my behavior the other night wasn’t like me.” She laughed and the way she brushed windswept hair away from her eyes was just about the sexiest fucking thing I’d seen.
It was tough not to take her over the miter saw table.
“She figured I’d fuck up your life.”
“That’s not it. I don’t care what people think about me. Katie just doesn’t want me crying on her shoulder in the middle of the night. Why do you think I have ice cream in my freezer?” This time her laugh was nervous.
