by Mia Fox
“You’re focusing on the bad. Listen to me,” he said taking me in his arms. “We trained for this. Here, it’s not a matter of just using your power over the elements, but physical strength too. The Krav Maga, the aerial training...I told you that you would need it. Practice your moves and this time, don’t do it as an exercise. Do it to feed your very soul.” He indicated that I should move into a clearing, and he stepped back to watch me step forward, moving with grace in spite of the circumstances.
It was cold outside, but still, I removed my sweater to have more freedom of movement. The thin camisole I wore today clung to my body and my skirt billowed with the wind. Raising my arms above my head, I started a slow and precise sun salutation, lifting my head skyward and closing my eyes. Then, I placed my hands in prayer and lifted my arms once again. Determined to regain strength and power, I bowed forward with a flourish placing my hands on the ground to stretch my calves and then quickly and without a sound, jumping back into plank, moving almost seductively into cobra pose and then pulling my body back into downward facing dog.
I performed the sequence twice more keeping my eyes closed throughout. Gaining fluidity and grace, my practiced movements improved my circulation, heating myself from the inside out, and allowing me to channel my thoughts and affect the elements. Although the air was still cold and the field was still cast in ice and shadows, above there was sun, shining a spotlight on this beautiful, moving meditation.
James stepped behind me, placing his hands on my hips while I still remained in downward facing dog. “Wow, that was hot.”
“That was just the warm-up,” I said with a laugh, looking up at him from under my shoulder. “Shall I continue?”
“I suppose you should,” he said pressing his hips forward, closing the distance between them -- his front with my backside.
“Then you better stop that,” I replied, feeling my heart rate accelerate and not from the mild movements of the sequence.
James released his hold on my hips and I stood, turning to place my arms around his neck. I allowed myself to plant just one small kiss on his lips before pulling away. “That was a prelude.”
“The kiss or the sun salutation?”
“Both,” I said, a twinkle returning to my eyes. “I felt you as my Shade, watching me, believing in me. I’ve felt that over the years, but never knew it was you.”
“It wasn’t just me, Suki. You can do this. You can fight Raven. I’ve just been there when you need me. So, show me what else you’ve got.”
Once again, I moved into the clearing and crouched into a low warrior pose. With eyes closed, I summoned the elements and when the crack of lightening that I had commanded commenced, I started a new routine. It was a show of force as I practiced kicks and punches and even parkour stunts, literally turning a kick into a back flip and landing with cat-like grace.
James watched with amusement, as much a proud teacher as he was my lover. “Hey, I’ve got an idea. Can you hold on a minute without getting cold again?”
“I’m fine. What are you up to?”
“We’re running short on time, and it looks like you’ll be okay without needing a trip back to New Orleans.”
“I can always use one of Maebeline’s meals, but you’re right. I’m okay now. What about my clothes?”
“I was looking forward to accidentally walking in on you dressing again, but that’ll have to wait too. But the dress that I picked out for you is still part of the plan. Do that thing again.”
“This thing?” I kicked my leg high, nearly touching my forehead.
“And the rest,” James instructed.
As I repeated the kick into backflip, James moved in circles around me, silent and with the wind until I heard the grinding gears of time ring in my ears. I stopped my movements and stood still as James commanded the wind to rush around faster and faster, particles and ions moving with increasing speed until finally, all became still again. James looked at me appraisingly and said simply, “You are beautiful.”
I looked down at myself and took in the pale pink ball gown that now inexplicably adorned my body. A plunging neckline accentuated my decolletage and moved into a tightly fitted waist that then gave way to a full skirt. When I twirled in front of James, he was greeted with the sight of the back of the dress -- another plunging “V” that went down the back.
He moved toward me and took my hand, holding it high above my head and encouraging me to spin once more for him. “My turn; now close your eyes.”
I did as I was told and when I opened my eyes once more, I found James standing before me in a charcoal grey suit and crisp, white shirt. Usually found with a slight beard, he was clean-shaven. James didn’t need another boost to his ego, but I couldn’t help myself. My breath hitched when I stared at him. Maybe it was the clothes, or perhaps his square jaw and high cheek bones. But if that wasn’t enough reason to go weak in the knees, his blue eyes were enough to set any girl’s heart pounding. Add to that a strong body that looked more than capable of a few dirty deeds, and I was reduced to biting my lower lip and trying to remember how to speak. He may have complimented me by saying I was beautiful, but truer than true, James was downright dashing in his dress clothes. Without thinking, I stared and bit the end of my index finger, holding it in my mouth while staring at him, willing myself not to say something embarrassing.
“Don’t do that,” he said taking my finger from my mouth and gently placing it into his own, weaving his tongue slowly around the tip, “...it gives me ideas.”
“Oh my.”
“Let’s go before we get distracted.”
“Too late,” I replied while taking his hand and heading in the direction of the grand gazebo.
* * *
Phineas stared at Raven and then looked away. “I don’t believe you.”
“You have to believe me. It’s the truth.”
“You and James? How? When?”
“If ever he had a fatal flaw, it would be that he’s such a softie for the damsel in distress,” Raven said pacing the room and shaking her head.
“I met James long before I actually met Suki, which is why it’s so killing to me. What sort of loyalty must I show her when I saw him first?”
Phineas raked his hand through his hair, taking in this news. “So we hadn’t met?”
“No!” she said reaching for him. “You weren’t even a thought on God’s mind at that time. You hadn’t even been born and so you hadn’t yet died...or been saved by me.”
“Okay, so go on with it.”
Raven sat down on the bed and took a deep breath. For the first time, Phineas actually saw her humanity come out. Always so controlled, so careful with her emotions and her choice to push them aside in favor of developing magic that controls people, Raven had always rebuffed any behavior that would interfere with her ultimate goal of power -- until now.
“I told you once that I wasn’t always like this...determined, powerful. I was just learning to develop my magic. I was a gypsy, but without any trace of demonism. I lived like my ancestors before, learning to read people, entertaining the crowds with simple acts of magic, but I hadn’t crossed over. But death is such a powerful aphrodisiac. When face to face with it, people start making deals -- senseless covenants.”
Raven did something that utterly surprised Phineas. She cried. Her body shook and although practically silent and still trying her hardest to maintain her cool demeanor, the tears flowed down her cheeks until she lowered her head into her hands.
“Tell me more,” Phineas said softly.
She took a deep breath and continued. “My parents were already dead and gone. The only remaining family member was my grandmother and she meant everything to me. But tragedy would strike her as well. She was suffering from scarlet fever and I was told by the doctor not to go near her. She had maintained a full house staff for years. Now, they became her nurses. They wore masks whenever near her; I was never allowed to go into her room. They insisted that I only speak to her th
rough the door. But I knew that she was too weak to eat. So, one day, I snuck into her room, just to be with her. I brought her chocolates, but of course, by then even those didn’t interest her.”
Raven paused and Phineas watched her face, etched in the pain of her memories.
“It was horrible seeing her body, so frail and unable to even lift her own head. I brushed her hair, wiped down her face and body to ease the heat of the fever, and laid my head down on her chest just to feel its rise and fall -- to know that she was still with me. She was suffering and worst of all, the doctors expected it could go on like that for two more weeks. For me, watching her for two hours was torture. I didn’t want her to be like that any longer. She looked at me and her voice barely a whisper, begged me to make it all go away. I knew what she meant.”
Suddenly, she took a hold of Phineas’ hand and bent her mouth to kiss it, a rare show of subservience and love.
“I snuck out and went to the marketplace to find some herbs that the gypsy community said were poisonous, but aided in a smooth transition to the next world. I just wanted to take away her pain so I sought out James.”
“What did he have to do with it?”
“I had heard many stories that spoke of his powers to heal and protect. I knew there was no helping her at this point, but I thought...if he could heal, then perhaps he could end her suffering as well.”
“Go on...”
“He was already a powerful Shade, but nobody knew whether he was actually aligned with anyone. He had made appearances at Shalaman ceremonies, and was revered for the way he helped burgeoning gypsies learn their lessons. One touch from him,” she paused clearly remembering, “it was like receiving a jolt of energy.”
Phineas rolled his eyes, in spite of the circumstances, only to receive a glare from Raven. “Sorry...go on, tell me more about James the Amazing.”
“Thank you...as I was saying, I had seen him help others before me. Like when someone was just on the edge of being able to move an object with their mind, the object shaking and trembling, but not actually flying. James would touch that person and center them, and then when they tried again, it would work. Once they knew they were capable, they were well on their way. Nobody ever knew how he got his powers, but he was generous with them, so...”
“You asked him for help?”
Raven nodded. “I knew that my grandmother needed to pass on easily, and I had no malice in mind, so he agreed. He told me the incantation that would ensure she ended up in a beautiful, peaceful place, and he even showed me it. If ever there was a heaven, that was it.”
Raven bowed her head and slowly shook it at the memory.
“You loved her,” Phineas said simply.
“Is that so hard to imagine,” she chuckled. “That I am or was capable of love?”
“What changed?”
“We were living in England and in the midst of the Thirty Year War between the Catholics and Protestants. It was a brutal time with fighting, disease and famine. I was raised Catholic and my father had been a high ranking diplomat. Knowing that I was in need of a caretaker once my grandmother passed, one of his top advisers suggested a marriage between myself and the Protestant son of my father’s biggest rival.”
“If you can’t beat them join them?”
Raven nodded. “Exactly. They wanted to take over my family business now that nobody was left to stand in the way -- except for me. It didn’t matter that I never even met the boy. My picture had been passed to the family and apparently, he became quite taken with me.”
Phineas smiled in spite of his present feelings toward Raven. “That doesn’t come as a surprise.”
“Well, it just goes to show that if you fall for someone based on their looks, that isn’t a sound platform for a relationship. Just one week after my grandmother passed, I came down with the fever, and my dad’s rivals called off the wedding. I can understand that the son didn’t visit me as mere inhalation could cause the spread of the infection, but he never even sent his footman with a note of condolence.
“My advisors were so angry at the idea that their political future was ruined that they blamed me, especially when they found out that I had visited my grandmother on her deathbed. They said that I brought this upon myself, and I would deal with it by myself.”
“How can anyone deal with it during Victorian times? There were no vaccinations.”
“Ahh, don’t forget, we had arsenic,” she said bitterly.
“So, that’s when you crossed over? I mean, obviously you survived.”
“I almost didn’t. I was cast out of the home. You can see why when I met and saved you centuries later, I never showed any love loss for my family -- it’s why I was so desperate to create a family with you.”
Phineas looked at Raven, their eyes meeting. He tried desperately to weigh out the truth from the propaganda that she fed him. He had loved her once, but had grown tired of her treachery. He nearly wanted to tell her of the plan to save Charlotte and how he was part of it, but he still didn’t dare. One story couldn’t make him a sell out, but then he worried that he had done just that to Raven.
“What happened to you...if you weren’t yet a demon gypsy?”
“I had no where to go and the fever was ravaging my body. Nobody would go near me, so I found myself crumpled in an alley, huddled with other infected women and children. I passed in and out of consciousness, until one day I woke up in a beautiful bedroom, clean and feeling weak, but on the mend.
“I can still remember being given a vile of medicine that momentarily cleared my head, and then placed me in a deep sleep once again. I regained consciousness at times, and when I did, always there was a pitcher of clean water next to my bedside along with chicken broth and homemade bread. I ate and drank until I became stronger, never knowing how I ended up there until one day when I felt...well, human again, and James was sitting by my side with what I thought was a cool cloth against my forehead. Only it wasn’t a cloth, but his hand, gently removing the last bit of fever from my body.”
“And Suki wasn’t in the picture?”
“Not entirely,” Raven admitted. “James was already Suki’s Shade, although she had never met him. She didn’t need to,” Raven added wistfully. “Suki was strong. She inspired men. She didn’t need one to guide her. But James took his role seriously and watched over her from afar. I think he even fell in love just by watching her, but like me, he was alone.”
“So you hooked up?” Phineas asked incredulously.
“It wasn’t a hook up,” Raven insisted. “I moved in because I could easily relapse. James insisted on it. He spent his days teaching me about my gypsy heritage, teaching me magic. Our evenings were spent like a married couple. We prepared meals together, talked, and...”
“Unbelievable,” Phineas shook his head.
“But Suki was always in the background. It quickly became obvious that I could never compete with his idea of what she was...this amazing muse, the only woman truly worthy of his heart.
“He admitted to me that there would come a day when they would meet in person and he would go to her.”
“So you...” a hush fell over Phineas, unsure he wanted to hear how Raven ended up dying. In spite of everything, he didn’t want to imagine her in death.
“I had been studying about crossing over. My magic was already so strong because of James’ help...and his touch. That gave me an edge over other gypsies who wanted more power. But what really inspired me was a broken heart. He was so angry one night and I asked him why. It turns out that Suki slept with one of her Releasors.”
“But she hadn’t even met James so what’s the problem?”
“Exactly! But he hated it and being with me wasn’t enough to get his mind off Miss Bottle Stopper. So I decided that night to end it all. If I could cross over, great. If I couldn’t, then at least I was finished feeling like second fiddle. Well, I was filled with so much pain, sorrow, jealousy, rage...should I go on?”
Phineas shook
his head. “Powerful emotions lead to powerful results.”
“It worked,” Raven said nodding her head, “and I haven’t looked back once.”
“You never spoke with him after that?”
“Right afterwards. But he was so ‘disappointed’ in me that it only fueled my anger. He told me that I was strong and I could just as easily have channeled goodness, but I did the opposite. I told him that he could have been happy with the girl he had in his bed, but he did the opposite. I realized that our love was one-sided and that’s no basis for a long-term relationship, even though it seemed well on its way toward that. I truly thought we would end up together -- with a family.
“Eventually, I met another man, John Proctor, but Suki managed to screw that one up for me as well. Turned him into the council who was seeking out witches during the Salem Witch Trials in order to save me. She thought we were friends, but I had only started the guise of a friendship to meet the amazing creature that James had dumped me for.”
“Weren’t you ever friends? I thought...,” Phineas stopped himself, aware that he might reveal something he learned in confidence.
“Well, she was okay to hang out with and she hadn’t met James yet because all of her Releasors were fine with just her help, although she did manage to kill off a very large number of them. Rather amusing, if you ask me. Anyway, I suppose I could have been friends if I wasn’t always aware that somewhere out there, James was watching. I had gotten over him, sort of...not really. Suki was always so full of life and happiness, taking what life dished out and then making it even better. It’s hard not to like her, and with that thought, it became hard not to hate her because I could see why I never really had a chance with James.”
Phineas remained quiet, obviously brooding at the edge of the bed. Raven moved up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head against his shoulder.
“Are you mad at me?”
“I don’t understand why you chose this moment to tell me all of this. Are you trying to justify what you’re about to do?”
