It was time for a hunt.
*~*~*
Thin lips pursed, Severn, Councilman of Public Protection, studied Mayr with a seasoned glare that suggested she considered him a tiny creature meant to be crushed under her boot. Of all the High Council, Severn was the most intimidating. She did not accept failure or compromise lightly, and she commanded respect from the moment she entered a room. If her sarcasm and surly demeanor did not capture attention, her long, black hair and wide, dark eyes usually did. The dark red long coat she always wore added to her sinister appearance.
As she leaned back in the chair behind Aeley's desk, Severn crossed her legs and tapped the chair arms. Black leather boots covered her legs up to the knee, fastened with gold buckles identical to that of the chain belt around her black tunic. "So you want specifics. And you want to be included in the ongoing campaign to apprehend the Shar-denn. This is as I understand it. Correct me if I'm wrong."
Mayr glanced at Aeley. For most of the meeting, Aeley had remained quiet, allowing him to facilitate the discussion. After hearing of Tash's predicament, she agreed Mayr would take point. Finally discovering the victim of the assault fueled her need to find those responsible. If the Shar-denn was involved, she wanted them arrested—or dead.
But did he ask too much, especially as a guard? It had taken several days to secure the private meeting with Severn. It had taken just as long to gather all of the information he could on the individuals who attacked Tash in order to hand it over to the bounty hunters. He could not ruin things now.
Except what he did impacted Tash's safety and his future. For him, Mayr would ask for everything, regardless of what Severn thought.
"Yes," Mayr answered, folding his arms and straightening. "The Shar-denn has plagued our tract long enough, and if this group from the latest assault is part of it, we'd like to know. And we'd like something done about it."
Severn smirked. "Not to mention your personal interest in the matter," she said, her tone low and smooth, "and what I anticipate will be a request for a full pardon from the Council on your friend's behalf."
Heat spread across Mayr's face. Was there anyone who did not read further into his relationship with Tash? He had purposely said "Halataldris" and spoke in formal terms to keep his personal feelings out of the discussion. "Yes."
Silence filled the study. Mayr flicked his gaze from Severn to the bounty hunters to her left. They were only two of the many that served the republic. Rathen, tall and quiet with messy blond hair, stood with his arms crossed. The leather of his black long coat and dark clothes stretched over his muscular form. Beside him was Kirra, a short woman with long, honey-coloured hair. Dark shading on her eyelids accented her golden eyes, the coal-like colour a match to her black corset with its leather straps and mismatched buckles.
Silent, Rathen surveyed the room with his head lowered, his weight shifted onto one leg, the multiple knives strapped to his thigh in full view. He meant business.
"Fine, we will cut you in." Severn folded her hands in her lap. "It's no less than Steward Dahe deserves. Knowing the details of our progress will not hamper the Council's work in any way. Perhaps you can add to it, seeing as you are in contact with our informant." She turned her head toward the bounty hunters but kept her prodding stare on Mayr. "Rathen, perhaps you can tell them where we sit on the matter?"
Rathen lifted his head, his features twisted with a smile. "Your man gave us forty names, a few of them high up. Thirty have been hauled in. Most were just the arse cleaners, though; easy catches." He licked his lips and winked. "Some of those aren't with us any more, right, Kirra?"
Kirra grunted and held her arms akimbo. "The price of stupid. Then again, like the Shar-denn always say—"
"The only way out is dead," Rathen and Kirra said in unison, casting droll stares at Mayr and Aeley.
Severn tented her fingertips together. "So glad we could oblige," she added dryly. "Of the surviving catches, a select few were offered positions as informants. They've been helpful, particularly in providing us with other names and locations of members elsewhere in Kattal. I'd say cleaning things up has been much easier thanks to your man. He gave us just what we needed."
Mayr clenched his jaws. My 'man' has a name, Severn. You should use it. Try shoving some respect in your voice, too. "I'll let Priest Halataldris know his effort was of service and is appreciated."
"As for the other matter," Severn continued, "I will take it to the Council when I can. I admit it is time to revisit his case, given how useful his information has been. We've been remiss in letting it go this long. However, I promise nothing more for him. You may hope for a full pardon but end up without it. Perhaps he has gained enough leniency with the rest of Council." She pushed up from the chair. "Our meeting here is concluded. I will have Rathen and Kirra debrief you shortly on the particulars of the arrests, including the outstanding names. They will also follow through on the information you have supplied regarding the priest's assault."
"Sure, because we work great with vague descriptions and hardly any leads." Rathen grunted and rolled his eyes. "I love a make-it-happen wrapped up in this-is-useless."
Kirra elbowed him hard in the ribs. She flashed Mayr a sweet, apologetic smile. "We'll do everything we can. Rathen's just being a grump. Ignore him. I do all the thinking, anyway. He just catches the bad guys."
Rathen glared at her and grumbled, but did not strike her back.
Severn was around the desk and almost at the door by the time they finished. Without waiting, she threw open the door and left. On the other side of the doorway, Pellon relaxed from his guard although he remained in the hallway. Rathen and Kirra followed Severn; Kirra rushed while Rathen sauntered.
"That went well," Aeley said, turning toward Mayr.
Mayr drew his hands down his face. "Thanks, I hadn't noticed."
"It could've been worse. She could've said mind your own and left." Aeley punched his arm gently. "She might just like you."
"No, she doesn't. But she doesn't mind you."
Aeley shook her head. "When are you going to tell him?" Her eyes sparkling with laughter, she leaned into him. "Because, psst," she whispered, "you had a boy in your bed."
"And you've got a girl in yours!" Mayr held up his hands. She would never let the issue rest, apparent from the amused expression she had whenever referring to Tash. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"Nothing." Aeley shrugged, then laughed and smiled wide. "Everything." She tapped his wrist. "You should go tell him. Soon. Now."
"I can't." Mayr's shoulders dropped. He was still waiting to hear from Tash about the results of the second trial. After the assault, Tash had rested for three days until most of the swelling subsided. The second trial began the day after that, against Mayr's protest that Tash was not yet ready.
For five days since then, Mayr had waited to hear from Tash, who had promised to send a note to let Mayr know he was all right. Given the problem with the first trial, Mayr had pressured Tash into telling him about the second trial. He needed to know what would happen and if any unpleasant surprises would arise.
Instead, what I got was an earful of ludicrous. Mayr stared at the floor, his arms crossed. It's absolutely insane, keeping Tash up for days on end just to read some stupid book. But no, not even that: he has to recite it word-for-word, too. All while making him go out and do things with people. And for what? Faith, stamina, and understanding? I can't imagine what depriving him of sleep and running him ragged is supposed to prove.
"Hey." Aeley clasped his shoulder. "Do you need to talk about it? You don't look so—"
A knock on the door interrupted her. "Mayr. Aeley," Haydin greeted, stepping into the room with someone else. "A visitor's just arrived."
Mayr glimpsed the red sash before anything else. Isallen.
"Hey." Mayr's heart raced as he scanned Isallen's hands for a note and found none. Please, no bad news…
"Brother Halataldris has sent for you," Isallen announced, "
although I have no letter. He could not manage it." Sheepish, he lowered his chin.
While it was not bad news, it was not good, either. Tash had sent for him, breaking his agreement not to see Mayr for a second time. If it was anything like the first time, Tash had to be in pain. Or losing his mind.
"Lead on." Mayr squeezed Aeley's hand and mouthed, "I'm sorry." Depending on what he found, he might not be back before Rathen and Kirra returned for the debriefing. Aeley and Lira would have to do it on their own. He wanted to see the Shar-denn matter through, but if Tash was hurt…
Mayr followed Isallen, once again silent. Inside the temple, Isallen led him to a darkened corridor in a lower level. Lit by a single torch, it was empty except for the dark figure pacing in the shadows. The dark figure dragged his heels, circling and shuffling, his erratic patterns moving him closer to Mayr and Isallen. The sound of his feet was accompanied by mumbles and rasped words, none of which made sense except for the occasional name of a Goddess. A throaty laugh occasionally interrupted the jumbled words.
When Tash finally entered the light, Isallen ran.
Tash did not respond. He continued to shift his feet. His fingers twisted and bent around one another, almost to the point of breaking. His body shook with every few steps. No longer swollen, his face still carried a hint of bruise. A deeper darkness underneath his eyes attested to how tired he was. In the light, the whites of his eyes appeared red.
"Tash?" Mayr held out one hand.
"Mayr?" The question was barely audible. Tash stopped pacing. He blinked, staring at Mayr blankly. Horror flashed across his face, followed by relief. Fingers trembling, he took Mayr's hand.
He fell the next instant, his body colliding with Mayr's as his knees buckled. "Mayr," Tash whimpered, clinging to Mayr to keep from hitting the ground.
Arms wrapped around Tash's waist, Mayr shifted and balanced Tash's deadening weight. Mayr's heartbeat stuttered and tumbled, his heart thumping hard enough to fill his chest with deepening pain. Shallow breaths were all he could manage. Panic tore into him, gnashing and clawing at his every thought.
"Your room," he murmured against Tash's temple. "We need to get to your room."
Tash nodded and Mayr slipped an arm around Tash's back. When Tash curled a weak arm around Mayr's shoulders, Mayr gripped his hand.
"I'm here. I've got you." They shuffled through the corridor. Mayr caressed Tash's hand to reassure them both. "Just keep going. I won't drop you, but you have to keep going."
With slow, agonizing steps and the occasional falter, Mayr guided Tash to his room two floors up. As they passed priests and priestesses, Mayr could not help but sneer and glower. Never had he wanted to attack them with spiteful words, not until that moment. No matter how they rationalized it, pushing Tash into such a state was nothing to be proud of. The Trials were more painful than they should have been—and he hated it. If anything, they were torture. Coerced suffering under the guise of piety. Tash deserved none of it. He had suffered enough. There had to be another way to prove himself.
You wanted to save me from pain. I just want to do the same for you. I want to make it stop, all of it. I never want you to get hurt again, ever.
Mayr eased Tash onto the bed and stripped him, carefully placing the clothes on a chair in the corner nearest the door. The cuts and bruises Tash received from the attack were either healed or still in the process. Except for the violent shudders and sunken eyes, Tash appeared more like himself than he did before the second trial began.
"Come on, get under there," Mayr said, holding up the blankets and nudging Tash under them.
"Will you stay?" Tash clamped the blankets in his fists.
If it would stop this insanity, I'd stay forever.
"Yes." Mayr removed his weapons and laid them on the chair. After he persuaded Tash to move back, Mayr lay on the bed on top of the blankets, one arm under his head and the other around Tash.
Tash curled into him, whimpering. He tucked his fists between their bodies and pressed closer. "It hurts. Everything hurts. My thoughts are killing me. Eyes burning. But I did it. I did. Recited it. Every word."
"Shh, go to sleep."
"I don't want to," Tash argued, his voice wavering. When he peered up, his eyes were wet. "It hurts too much. So tired, but I can't. I just want to be with you. You. Not much time left. No time." He buried his face in Mayr's shirt and sobbed. "I need you and there's no time."
I cannot kill the priests. I cannot kill the priests. I cannot kill the priests. Mayr glared at the ceiling, pulling Tash close enough that it hurt. The sound of Tash's weak cries hurt him more. They drove a stake through Mayr's heart, impaling him over and over with each shake of Tash's body.
"Close your eyes," Mayr told him, stroking Tash's back. "Just close your eyes and rest."
Grateful when Tash did not argue, Mayr continued to move his fingers along Tash's skin. The sobs ceased and gave way to a deep sigh. Tash's body grew heavy as his muscles relaxed. He breathed quietly, his chest rising and falling evenly. Every new change suggested he was asleep or near to it.
Just enough for me to get more comfortable. Mayr glanced around the room. Simple and bright, the chamber contained furniture and basic personal effects. Any decoration was like the tapestry: dedicated to the Goddesses, including a small bronze statue of Emeraliss and her bird on the bedside table. Little of Tash could be seen in the room. Devoid of a personal touch, the chamber could have belonged to any priest. For all of his care and consideration, Tash had little to show for it. Only his tribulations were on display, carved into his flesh. No family, no freedom, nothing but perpetual servitude. After everything, Tash should have had more. There was more to life than duty. And there was more to love than pain.
Wet fabric strained across Mayr's chest as Tash rolled away. Mayr had said he would stay, but he needed to remove his shirt and boots if he was to stay all night. One small movement at a time, Mayr drew away until he stood awkwardly from the bed. He tugged off his boot.
A hand grabbed his wrist.
"Please, don't go," Tash said groggily, his eyes half-open.
"I'm not. I'm just getting more comfortable."
Tash's eyes widened. His grip tightened. "Please. Don't leave me. Don't leave." His terrified plea was childlike, heart-wrenching in its vulnerability. "I can't lose you, too. Stay."
Mayr stared at Tash's bracers. The issue was not leaving the bed, Mayr realized. The problem was leaving him like the others had; the people Tash loved, who had offered him choices and made it impossible for him to win, or blamed him for their unwillingness to stay. Lies and games. They were nothing but cruel lies and terrible games.
He slipped his hand into Tash's. "I won't. Just let me do this one thing and I'll be yours again."
The response appeared to be acceptable. Tash released Mayr's hand, allowing Mayr to continue undressing. Wearing only pants, Mayr slid under the covers and curled both arms around Tash, pressing their naked skin together in hopes it calmed Tash quickly.
Tash snuggled against Mayr's side, his face buried in the crook of Mayr's neck. He nuzzled the sensitive skin around Mayr's ear. "I wanted to make love to you," he whispered. "To be your first… your only… your everything." After a whimper, Tash slumped into Mayr, lost to unconsciousness.
*~*~*
A breath was all it took for Mayr to realize Tash was finally awake. As bright blue irises peered up at him quizzically, Mayr's heart hammered a quick rhythm of relief.
"How long have I been asleep?" Tash rubbed his eyes and sat up. "And how long have you been sitting here?"
Mayr tossed the parchment from Aeley onto the bedside table. The summary about Rathen and Kirra's debrief would have to wait. He was more interested in the details, anyway, and he would not get them until he returned to the estate.
"You've slept a full day and then some," he replied, raising his knees and rolling his neck. The bed would have been much more comfortable had he stretched out properly instead of sitting on the edge.
But after Tash's sprawled body had taken up most of it, he took what he could get.
Tash blinked. "Please tell me you haven't sat there this whole time."
"No. Some of it has been lying down. Some of it I spent with the priests. Some of it was avoiding certain priestesses who think I'm their next project. Or sacrifice. It's hard to tell which one."
"You stayed?"
"You asked me to."
"And you did," Tash muttered, looking away. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. I don't even know why I did. I can't even remember doing it." He turned back with a pained glance. "Whatever I said, I'm sorry. I have no doubt I lost control."
The apology stung more than it should have. While Mayr hated seeing Tash broken to the point where he rambled off truths without a second thought, he wanted to hear the words again. To hold Tash close and soothe the pain that struggled to be released.
"It's fine. You got rest, that's all that matters. The priests will be pleased. They were worried about you." Mayr tilted his head, one brow raised. The daylight hours spent with the priests had been enlightening. He could almost forgive them. "Apparently they tried to help you before I got here, but you refused. You actually refused going to sleep, which is completely backwards. Sleep is good. Sleep is our friend, especially when you've been up for five days straight. That's just too crazy for my liking."
A dark blush spread across Tash's cheeks before he lowered his head. "Sorry," he mumbled, twisting the blankets between his fingers.
Mayr tucked strands of Tash's hair behind his ear. "Don't be sorry, just don't do it again. The Goddesses might enjoy it, and the priests consider it part of the job, but I don't."
"Mayr, I had to. You know that. It has to happen."
"No, it doesn't. No matter how many times you tell me it's necessary, I still won't believe it. You've scared me twice, Tash. Twice." Mayr cupped Tash's face with both hands. "Both times, I've come in to find you in a state I can't stomach easily. Soldier or not, it's not something I can accept just because you want me to. Which makes me wonder: what else is coming?"
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