by Will Dunne
4. What matters most. As they interact in the café, Becky and Max come to terms with how poorly they fit together as a couple. What matters most now is how “brutally honest” they have become. What matters most about the relationship between your Characters 1 and 2 in the middle of your scene? Write your summary in the “Middle” panel of your storyboard.
■ WHAT THE STORYBOARD REVEALS
The storyboard for Gionfriddo’s scene shows that the relationship between Becky and Max evolves from “extremely unbalanced” to “brutally honest” to “scary.” In other words, two characters start out as mismatched losers and end up as enemies because of brutally honest exchanges between them. Review your relationship storyboard now in chronological order:
1. Is there a significant difference between the “Beginning” and “End” panels? If they seem too similar, it may mean that not enough has happened in the scene. How can you increase the importance and impact of the dramatic action?
2. Is the “Middle” panel a clear link between the “Beginning” and “End”? If not, you may need to rethink how the scene unfolds so that it focuses more on one main event.
3. What story does your storyboard tell? Is this right story for this scene?
WRAP-UP
Dramatic stories are about character relationships under stress. When starting a new scene between characters who know each other, be sure to consider the nature, history, and power structure of their relationship. Know what impact recent events have had on them and what developments could occur as a result of how they feel about each other now. Whether the characters are currently on good terms or bad, their relationship provides a context for their interaction and is likely both to influence and to reflect the dramatic action as the scene unfolds.
Related tools in The Dramatic Writer’s Companion. For another way to map out the structure of a scene, go to the “Causing a Scene” section and try “Seeing the Scene” or “The Emotional Storyboard.” To explore relationships further, go to the “Developing Your Character” section and try “Allies: Then and Now” or “Adversaries: Then and Now.”
CLASSIFIED INFORMATION
THE QUICK VERSION
Explore how character secrets can affect dramatic action
BEST TIME FOR THIS
During scene planning, writing, or revision
GREAT CHARACTERS HAVE GREAT SECRETS
How characters behave is often influenced by the secrets they bring to the dramatic action. These hidden truths can take many forms. Characters may be hiding
• who they are (I am your father: Darth Vader, The Empire Strikes Back)
• who someone else is (he’s your brother, not your cousin: Violet, August: Osage County)
• what they did in the past (I forged my father’s signature to get a loan: Nora, A Doll’s House)
• what they plan to do in the future (I will run away from home and start a new life elsewhere: Tom, The Glass Menagerie)
• how they really feel now (I wish I were you: both Austin and Lee, True West)
• what they know about the world around them (the water in the town’s new municipal baths is contaminated: Peter, Enemy of the People)
Secrets may center on something positive (I’m a superhero: Clark, Superman) but often have a negative aspect that explains why information is being withheld (all I really want is your money: Fay, Loot). Some secrets are meant to protect the secret keeper (it was I who robbed the office: Levene, Glengarry Glen Ross). Some secrets are meant to protect someone else (I don’t want you to know I’m pregnant while you’re mourning the death of your child: Izzy, Rabbit Hole).
ABOUT THE EXERCISE
Use this exercise to uncover character secrets that could affect the dramatic action of a scene—even if those secrets are not revealed at this time. Examples are from an early scene in The Sixth Sense by M. Night Shyamalan, recipient in 2000 of an Academy Award nomination for Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen. The story centers on the relationship between a child psychologist and a disturbed eight-year-old boy who can see and talk to dead people.
Character 1—who drives most of the action—is Dr. Malcolm Crowe, in his thirties, a once-successful child psychologist who has lost confidence in his ability to help patients. Character 2 is Cole Sear, an anxious, socially isolated eight-year-old boy who suffers from possible mood disorders and communication difficulties. Their relationship: Cole is Malcolm’s first patient in two years. What happens in the scene: Malcolm meets Cole and takes a first step toward gaining the frightened boy’s trust.
To prepare for the exercise, choose a scene you wish to develop, identify the two most important characters in it—Characters 1 and 2—and define their relationship. Then sum up the main event of the scene as you see it now: what happens overall.
■ SCENIC CONTEXT
Define the context for the dramatic action.
1. Setting. The meeting between Malcolm and Cole takes place among the pews of an empty church. Define the setting for your scene.
2. Time. The action begins in the afternoon, after church services for the day have ended. Define when your scene takes place.
3. Given circumstances. It has been two years since a former child patient named Vincent Gray, now an adult, resurfaced in Malcolm’s home as an armed intruder. High on drugs, he accused Malcolm of failing to help him, then shot Malcolm and killed himself. This incident left Malcolm so shaken that he has been unable to resume his practice until now. The notes that Malcolm received about the new patient, Cole, are identical to the notes he originally received about Vincent. Think about the world of your story when your scene begins. Identify any physical, psychological, social, economic, political, or spiritual circumstances that could affect the dramatic action.
■ CHARACTER 1’S SECRET
Explore what your Character 1 is hiding when the scene begins.
1. Secret. When he first meets Cole, Malcolm has a secret: he feels like a failure and is not sure he still has the ability to help others professionally, particularly this frightened boy. The case feels like a last chance for Malcolm to redeem himself—or utterly fail. Suppose your Character 1 had a secret that was relevant to your scene. This might be a secret you are already aware of or one you are just realizing now. Identify what your Character 1 is hiding at this time.
2. Reason for secrecy. Malcolm will eventually let down his guard and reveal his secret, but for now he feels compelled to keep his insecurity hidden. He might otherwise lose the boy’s confidence, jeopardize the case, and ruin his last chance to save his career. Think about your Character 1’s secret. Why is he or she hiding this? Identify what’s at stake.
3. Impact. From a dramatic storytelling perspective, the secrets of characters matter only if they influence the action. Malcolm’s hidden insecurity will result in a cautious approach to his new patient. It also will motivate Malcolm’s objective in the scene: to break through Cole’s resistance and gain his trust—no matter what. How might your Character 1’s secret influence him or her during your scene?
■ CHARACTER 2’S SECRET
Focus next on what your Character 2 may be hiding.
1. Secret. Cole has a secret, too. It is a hidden truth that will not be revealed until the end of the story and that will provide the final ironic twist that leaves Malcolm—and many in the audience—stunned. Cole’s secret is that Malcolm is a ghost who doesn’t realize he’s dead. The gunshot wound inflicted by his former patient was actually fatal. Suppose your Character 2 also had a secret that was relevant to your scene. Identify what he or she is hiding at this time in the story.
2. Reason for secrecy. For most of the story, Cole conceals the knowledge that Malcolm is a ghost who doesn’t know he’s dead. In this early scene, Cole’s motivation for keeping this news secret is the uncertainty of how this stranger might respond to such news and the fear that something violent could occur. What’s at stake for Cole is his safety. Think about your Character 2’s secret. Why is
he or she hiding this? Identify what’s at stake.
3. Impact. Cole’s secret has a profound impact on him not only because Malcolm is a ghost—Cole is used to seeing dead people—but also because Malcolm is a stranger. Experience has taught the boy that strangers, whether living or dead, can be violent. His secret makes him so fearful that he refuses to speak until halfway through the scene. His secret thus sparks the scene’s central conflict: Cole’s mistrust of Malcolm. How might your Character 2’s secret influence him or her in your scene?
■ SECRETS AND PHYSICAL LIFE
Character secrets are often rooted in the physical realm of the story. Settings, objects, and physical elements can help explain the nature of a secret, contribute to its importance, and ground it in the world of the story.
When Malcolm finds him in the church pew, Cole is playing with a set of green and beige toy soldiers. Uncommon in a church, these objects suggest that he comes to this church for reasons other than prayer. We will learn later that he views the church as a refuge from ghosts where he can relax and play. Another object gains importance after the meeting ends. As Cole leaves the church, in a move that suggests fear and need for protection, he pockets a small statue of Jesus from a table near the door.
Certain objects in the scene thus embody Cole’s secret: his ability to interact with dead people who sometimes do frightening things. The same objects also suggest an arc of action in the scene, as he moves from toy soldiers at the beginning to the Jesus statue at the end. Think about the secrets of your characters. With one of these secrets in mind, identify anything physical that relates to this secret, and describe the connection.
■ SECRETS AND SUSPENSE
When characters have secrets, they may say unexpected things or act in unusual ways. Such behavior can create suspense by raising questions in the minds of the audience about what’s really going on and what might happen next. When the audience asks questions and waits for answers, they are engaged in the dramatic journey.
1. Unanswered question. Most scenes end with at least one unanswered question that creates the need for more story. By the time the church scene ends, the odd encounter between a boy and child psychologist has stirred up a number of questions, such as what’s wrong with Cole? and will Malcolm be able to help him? Think about the secrets of your characters and how they affect the dramatic action. What is the most important question that either secret might raise during the scene but not answer?
2. Triggers. Our questions are triggered by what we see and hear as we watch a scene. In the church scene, our curiosity may be aroused by such factors as a boy who plays alone in a church with toy soldiers, who speaks in Latin while doing so, who acts terrified and refuses to speak, and whose arms are covered with tiny cuts and bruises. Noticed by Malcolm but not mentioned, these unusual wounds may contribute most to the suspense generated. Think about the unanswered question at the end of your scene. What specific elements might trigger this question in the minds of the audience?
3. Answer. In some cases the question raised by a scene gets answered in the next scene or soon afterward. In other cases it doesn’t get answered until much later in the story, if at all. In The Sixth Sense, the question what’s wrong with Cole? gets answered about halfway through the story when he utters the now-famous line: “I see dead people.” The second question—will Malcolm be able to help him?—doesn’t get answered until the end of the story, when Cole finally reestablishes a union of trust with his mother. Think about the unanswered question at the end of your scene. What is the answer to this question? How and when, if ever, will it be revealed?
WRAP-UP
What characters don’t say is sometimes more important than what they do say. Keep exploring the secrets of your characters to learn more about who they really are, what they value, and what they fear. It is often a hidden truth that explains why characters behave the way they do, especially when their actions seem inappropriate or unusual.
Related tools in The Dramatic Writer’s Companion. To learn more about character secrets, go to the “Developing Your Character” section and try “The Secret Lives of Characters.” To explore character discoveries, go to “Causing a Scene” and try “The Aha!s of the Scene.”
PHRASE BOOK
THE QUICK VERSION
Identify and define key terms important to your story
BEST TIME FOR THIS
During script revision
HOW CHARACTERS TALK
The world of a story has its own language. Certain terms are indigenous to this world and reflect the shared experiences of those who live here. These words and phrases may include nicknames, slang, cultural terms, work jargon, original terms, common terms that have acquired new meaning, and other expressions related to the time period, geography, or history of this world, whether it’s a remote Aran island off the coast of Ireland, a space station in a distant galaxy, or a room at the end of time.
In my play The Roper, which takes place in Chicago in 1876, much of the special language of the characters is drawn from historical research. A “roper” in this world is an informant paid by authorities to keep surveillance on criminals. The term refers to the title character, who is hired by the US Secret Service to infiltrate a gang of Irish immigrants engaged in counterfeiting.
A “boodle” in this world is a bundle of counterfeit bills, and a “boodle boy” is a innocent-looking youth who holds these bills out on the street while a “dealer” goes into a store and tries to use some of the phony cash to purchase goods. That dealer might be called a “shover” or “coney man,” and that phony cash might be referred to as “coney” or “queer” versus real money, which would be “rhino” or “nails and putty.” The process of distributing counterfeit bills at the point of sale is a “shoving tour.” If the coney is particularly good, it might be described as “next to the plate.”
Even if you are writing a contemporary story that takes place on your street, your characters probably have unique ways of expressing themselves, addressing each other, and recounting the events of their lives. You can deepen your understanding of your characters by listening to how they talk: what words and phrases they choose when they have something to say.
ABOUT THE EXERCISE
Use this exercise to enrich the dialogue of your script by identifying and defining any distinctive terms that your characters use during the story. This exercise is based on the idea that when people travel to a foreign land, they often obtain a phrase book that translates local vernacular. As you step through the exercise, you will begin to create a phrase book for the foreign land of your story.
■ WORLD OF THE STORY
First, you need to identify the world in which most of the dramatic action occurs. While The Roper focuses on the world of nineteenth-century counterfeiting, other writers through the ages have chosen other worlds to explore, such as those of cutthroat real-estate salesmen (Glengarry Glen Ross), royal families (Macbeth), dysfunctional families (August: Osage County), acting classes (Circle Mirror Transformation), college faculties (Oleanna), international espionage (Bridge of Spies), newspaper journalism (Spotlight), psychotherapy (Beyond Therapy), brothels (Ruined), and more. Think about the primary social context in which your characters operate. What is the world of your story?
■ INDIGENOUS WORDS AND PHRASES
Use the following phrase-book categories to trigger ideas about the language of your characters. For each category, identify as many terms as you can. Define each within the context of your story, and write the definition as if it were an entry in a phrase book or dictionary. The definition is as important as the term itself.
1. Nicknames. Some characters may use pet names when they address others whom they know well. In Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett, Estragon calls Vladimir “Didi.” Vladimir calls Estragon “Gogo.” Nicknames may be terms of endearment or expressions of disdain. Identify any such nicknames among your characters and who uses what for whom.
2. Positive slang. The v
alues of your characters may be reflected in their informal speech. Focus first on slang terms with a positive connotation in the world of your story. In Hurlyburly by David Rabe, “bread” meaning money is a good thing. So is “Bolivian blow,” which refers to cocaine. In Topdog/Underdog by Suzan-Lori Parks, “boosting” is a term for theft and also viewed as good since it yields free merchandise. Define any slang terms your characters use for something they consider positive.
3. Negative slang. In Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck, the phrase “busted a gut” means that you worked too hard. In Bent by Martin Sherman, “fluff” is a derogatory term for a gay man. Define any slang terms your characters use for something they consider negative.
4. Familiar terms with unfamiliar meaning. For most people, “Parnassus” is a sacred mountain in ancient Greece, but for George in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf by Edward Albee, it’s the house where Martha’s father lives. In Edmond by David Mamet, the term “health club” is code for a whorehouse. Identify any common terms that have special meaning for your characters.
5. Original terms. Sometimes characters use original terms to communicate with each other. For the jazz musicians in Side Man by Warren Leight, “Club 92” refers to the 92nd Street unemployment office, where they meet to collect their unemployment checks. In The Piano Lesson by August Wilson, the “Ghosts of the Yellow Dog” are the spirits of men who were killed in a railroad car over the theft of a piano and now haunt the countryside seeking revenge. Define any important terms that are unique to the world of your story.
