by Cass Sellars
“Sure, that would be great. Thanks.” Syd watched Mia prepare mugs. “Are you doing better? I mean, are you feeling better about things?”
“Yeah. Thanks for asking. I guess I’ll always have some up days and some down days. It’s good to report fewer down than up now, which is a hell of an improvement from a few months ago. You guys have really helped. You especially.” Mia looked appreciatively at Syd and handed over the hot mug. “You remind me of Sandy a lot. The way you’re always looking after everyone. You’re a good person, Sydney.”
“That’s nice of you to say, but it’s nothing anyone else wouldn’t do.” Syd dismissed the compliment.
“Yes, it is.” Mia seemed to fade away in her memory. “You’re like her. Like Sandy in a lot of ways.”
Sydney remembered Parker proudly showing her around the newly renovated space just after they had met. Syd tried not to focus on the turmoil swirling around them now.
She looked up at Mia just before Mia pushed her mouth onto Sydney’s and leaned her body onto hers. Syd’s mouth responded automatically. Mia’s tongue moved against hers before the foreign lips fully registered. Her eyes flew open, and she saw Mia’s flutter closed.
Syd put her hands on Mia’s hips and pushed her solidly backward. She stared at her, unable to form the appropriate words for what felt like hours. “Mia, what are you doing? We can’t…I’m not…” Parker’s face flashed into Sydney’s mind, and fear at the implication of the last seconds in Mia’s embrace overwhelmed her.
Mia’s eyes suddenly focused on her. “Oh my God. I’m sorry, Syd.” Mia’s tone was panicked and embarrassed. “I don’t know what happened. I didn’t mean to…shit.” She folded her arms around her waist as if she was unexpectedly in pain.
Syd recovered enough to think clearly. “Did I do something to make you think…”
“No. Syd, no. I was just talking to you and thinking about Sandy, about how like her you are, and I just wasn’t thinking. Oh God, Parker is going to hate me. We can’t tell her. Please, Syd, don’t tell her,” Mia begged.
“I’ll explain it to her. I don’t keep things from her, Mia. She’ll understand that you were just thinking about Sandy, not me.” Syd hoped her words would convince Mia and eventually Parker.
“I wouldn’t understand, Sydney.” Mia sounded frightened as she stared into Sydney’s eyes. “If someone hit on Sandy, I would have gone crazy. Parker is going to hate me. Jen and Mack are going to hate me.”
“First of all, you didn’t hit on me. I was just here. It was a mistake. No one else will even know. Please, don’t worry. It’ll be okay.” Syd held Mia’s arm where she normally would have hugged her reassuringly. All she wanted to do was go home and wait for Parker. Then again, she hoped for time to think. She couldn’t fathom that conversation heaped on top of the rest of the draining events in their lives.
Mia followed her to the door, and Syd tried to send her a casual smile that she feared might look like anything but. At home, Sydney stood under a scalding spray in her shower and attempted to wash away the feeling that she had just betrayed Parker. She silently prayed that the love of her life would truly understand.
She dried and dressed quickly in dark jeans and a polo shirt. She caressed a thumb over Parker’s picture and sent her a text:
Can I pick you up from work when you’re done?
I would love that. I will be ready in an hour. She was happy to receive Parker’s return text, but her mind raced when she thought about the conversation she was going to have. One she felt now forced to have. She pushed away the thought of Parker rejecting her explanation, not understanding what really happened. Parker knew her better than anyone, so she forced herself to trust that Parker would understand. If the roles were reversed, Syd thought, she doubted she would be the least bit reasonable.
***
Parker was waiting just inside the lobby when Syd stopped in front of the heavy mahogany doors. She waved to the receptionist and heaved her bags into the tiny trunk. Sliding in beside Sydney, she smiled at the welcome embrace across the console.
“I’m glad you’re here.” Parker rested her head on Sydney’s shoulder as she shoved the car into gear.
“Me, too, baby. I needed to see you.” Syd took a ragged breath and headed into a tiny city park greenway just off the main road.
“Did something happen? Was there a new note?” Her voice rose, counter to the calm she showed just seconds before.
Syd jerked the brake up after she backed into a secluded parking space. “No, no more notes. I just have to tell you something…about Mia.” Syd felt she had pushed herself off a cliff and suddenly had to figure out how to fly.
“Is she okay?” Parker’s worried face stared into Syd’s.
“She’s fine. She was at home when I got back from the gym. I thought maybe she was sick, so I went in to check on her.” Syd’s fingers traced an abstract design over the surface of the steering wheel.
“Was she all right?” Parker was studying Syd’s face; her pained expression made Syd’s stomach clutch.
“Yeah. She was.” Syd breathed heavily and forced herself to finish. “So, I’m in the kitchen, and she’s talking about Sandy. And I’m thinking about the first time I came into the loft with you after we met, remember?”
Parker nodded and smiled briefly.
“Then Mia says that I remind her of Sandy or something like that, and then, I think she’s really thinking about Sandy at that moment, and she gets kind of lost in that memory or something…” Syd realized she wasn’t being eloquent. “Then she…uh…”
“What, Syd?” Parker folded her knees under her and turned in her seat, letting her shoes fall onto the floor mat. She reached over and brushed a thumb over Syd’s cheek.
“She kissed me. Well, not really me. I think she was just lonely and thinking about Sandy, and she wasn’t thinking. I pushed her away when I realized what was happening, and she started to panic and apologize. Park, it wasn’t me, I swear. It was just a mistake. I’m so sorry.”
Parker stared at her as if digesting the information. “Did you kiss her back?” Parker spoke softly.
“I think I did, just reflex, for a second, a half a second. I was thinking about you right before it, and it took my dumb ass a second to figure out what was happening. Please, don’t be mad.” Syd held both her hands tightly.
Parker smiled and shook her head. “I’m not mad, love. If you told me you suddenly had feelings for her and didn’t bother to tell me, I would be mad. But I’m not angry at you…or her, for that matter; she’s had a rough year, and I don’t believe she would risk her relationship with all of us for a roll in the hay with you. Despite how irresistible you are.”
Syd stared in awe as Parker lifted herself from her seat to straddle her. “Don’t look so worried, love. Things happen.” Parker smiled seductively and grazed her fingers through her coarse black hair. “Once, though. They just happen once.” Her mouth melted over Sydney’s, and she pulled Parker down and against her in response, returning the unexpectedly frantic kiss. It was followed by another longer, more desperate one. Syd felt pounding electricity fire down her spine as Parker’s hips pulsed against her heated core. Syd slipped her hands under Parker’s thin blouse, and Parker slid her fingers under Sydney’s belt.
Sydney reclined the seat, and Parker leaned more heavily against her chest as a result. Her strong fingers drew anxious lines up Parker’s smooth back, and Parker whimpered at the sensation.
Syd broke from the kiss just long enough to speak. “You’re killing me.”
Parker pushed Syd’s shirt up to caress her and press Sydney’s chest against her own. Parker found her hard nipples, pinching the pebbled flesh that pressed into her palms and causing Sydney to moan in response. Syd forced the skirt over Parker’s hips and felt the heat of her against her stomach.
“I have to touch you.” Syd kissed the words into her. Her breath was fast and shallow as her fingertips found Parker’s burning flesh under thin fabric.
Parker moved roughly against her hand.
“Yes. Syd, like that. Make me come for you. Please.” Parker coursed her teeth under Sydney’s ear, and her hips ground impatiently against her.
Sydney tore the final barrier away and found the saturated place that caused Parker to cry out for her. Syd pressed her fingers over the buried crests that she knew could push Parker over. Sydney drove hard against her, relishing each uneven gasp she could feel hotly delivered against her skin. She felt Parker grasp at her shoulders when Syd was finally inside her.
Moving her thick hair, Syd exposed Parker’s neck and grazed her teeth over the long muscle, causing a guttural groan to rise in her throat. Parker rocked harder and faster against her, the pressure seemed to be building in layers, as Syd navigated and steered her to her tumbling release. The tiny compartment of the car was engulfed with the thick desire that had built between them. The frenzied charge of energy multiplied as they consumed each other’s mouths.
“Now. Syd, now.”
Syd felt Parker propel her body mercilessly against her. She drank in every maddening, sensuous stroke of Parker’s hips. She felt the last driving rhythm leak from Parker’s body as Sydney pressed her mouth hungrily over hers. She felt Parker’s heart pound against her chest as she breathed raggedly, crushing her body onto Sydney’s. She slid the thick belt open and stroked Sydney, who jerked involuntarily at the exquisite contact when she was already aroused to the point of hypersensitivity. Parker skidded her tongue over Syd’s bottom lip and stroked her center gently at first. Syd pressed back into the seat, accepting Parker’s mouth on hers. Sydney arched against her hand and then jerked violently before she allowed herself to let go.
“You are so amazing.” Parker sank against her.
“I love touching you.” Syd pressed Parker harder to her. “I feel like I can’t get enough of you.”
“You seriously made me feel like I was going to explode.” Parker began to breathe more evenly.
“I’m glad.” Syd still held Parker against her, stroking her body lovingly, not willing to lose the connection she found everywhere their skin touched.
“I love you so much.” Parker sighed. She glanced around the small, dark space. “I honestly didn’t think it was even possible to do that in this car.”
“You and me both. But I can’t imagine a better christening.” Syd held Parker’s face, memorizing every feature as if it were her last opportunity. “Anywhere we need to be right now?”
“Home, where I can thank you properly and for hours.” Parker arched her eyebrow playfully as she flopped indelicately into the passenger seat and attempted to straighten her wrinkled clothes. The remnants of her black thong remained on the seat between Syd’s legs. She snatched them before Parker could retrieve them. “Mine. Souvenir.” Syd smiled, shoving the useless garment into her pocket. She had to stop herself from speeding out of the tiny park, amazed that no one had pulled in while they were lost in each other. Sydney certainly hadn’t expected the outcome when she told Parker about kissing another woman. Parker amazed her. She was practical and reasonable, always. She knew Sydney didn’t want anyone but her, and Sydney would always make sure she remembered that.
***
For the rest of the evening, Parker felt like a giddy teenager with a new crush as she repeatedly drove Syd to her surrender. Sydney teased her and sated her, and they found the blissful place they could bask in together.
They tucked the cover of their solitude around them, grateful for the private place that cradled them again. Parker didn’t think about the mistaken kiss by a grieving partner or misguided notes by a potentially disturbed and presumably lonely man. She thought only of the safe place she found in Sydney’s arms.
Syd pulled Parker’s body to lie back against hers as they flipped through magazine articles and fantasized about vacations they would take together and places they would visit. By midnight, Sydney had fallen deeply asleep.
Parker wrapped the comforter over Syd and skimmed a kiss over her cheek. She moved quietly off the bed and threw on a long T-shirt over loose shorts. She carried their empty glasses to the kitchen, stopping briefly to stare out into the dark to wonder if anyone was out there, possibly watching her at the same time, and cursed herself for obsessing. She carried in a fresh glass of water and placed it on the coaster on the nightstand. She got into bed and found Sydney awake again, poring over her files containing copies of the notes as she ran her fingers absently through Parker’s hair.
“Sex machines have to sleep too, y’know,” Parker mumbled from her pillow. “I might require your services tomorrow, and I don’t want you to wear down too quickly.” She squinted into the light shining brightly from Syd’s side of the bed.
“Message received, gorgeous. I’m right behind you.” She dropped the file into a drawer and reached over her pistol to turn the switch on the lamp. As soon as the room was dark, Parker turned to lie against Syd’s warm body, sending her instantly to sleep.
***
The shower of glass was lessened only slightly by the thin blinds that blew gently in the breeze of the air-conditioning. Sydney instinctively rolled over Parker and pulled her to the floor, using the bedding and the mattress as a shield. The noise ended just in time for Sydney to hear the roar of a poorly mufflered engine fade into the distance. She threw herself across the pillow and retrieved her gun, her heart racing.
“Parker, get in the closet, and call 9-1-1, now.”
“Syd, no, come with me.” Parker grasped her arm, her hand trembling.
“Go. I’ll be right back.” She ran through the dark house and into the lobby. Taillights faded into the distance, and Sydney had no idea if they were related to the incident that shattered the only peace they had known in a week. If she had been alone, she would have driven through the dark streets searching, but she would never leave Parker by herself.
She checked the lot and the cars, finding all three of them untouched. She whipped back at the sound of footsteps, her gun leveled in front of her when she saw Parker outside, now wrapped in the blanket. Parker winced at the weapon aimed at her. Sydney dropped it quickly and rushed her back inside.
“Why were you out there?” Syd rubbed her arms briskly as if it were ten degrees outside.
“Same reason you were.” Parker’s deadpan delivery made Sydney laugh despite the weight of the situation.
“Fair enough.” Syd closed the door behind them. “Did you call the police?”
“Mack’s on the way.” She took a shaky breath. “Something’s on the floor. A rock or a piece of a brick wrapped in paper.”
“Did you touch it?” Syd moved toward the dim lights of the kitchen.
“No, I’ve been around the caped crusaders long enough to know better. I just left it,” Parker replied softly.
“Are you cut anywhere?”
Parker shook her head. “Why are they doing this?”
“I don’t know, Park.” She no longer felt capable of handling this on her own, a fact she would never admit to Parker.
Parker nodded and sat on a barstool.
Mack slid open the heavy barn door, not bothering to announce herself. Syd took in the frayed cargo shorts and dark collared shirt as she stepped into the loft. She was off duty, but this wasn’t about an assignment. She laid her black portfolio on the counter, and Parker barely managed a nod.
“You okay?” She pulled Parker against her shoulder and rubbed her back.
“I’m fine.”
Syd watched her lie but knew better than to call her on it.
“Jenny said to call her if you want her to come now; otherwise, she’ll be here when Olivia wakes up.”
“No need. I’m fine. Let the baby sleep.”
To Syd, she sounded resigned and resentful, definitely not fine. And if Mack’s expression was to be trusted, she didn’t believe it either. She led Mack toward their former sanctuary.
Syd watched Mack examine the area where the object, a broken brick, had landed. A white
square of paper lay in a limp roll next to the jagged chunk of masonry.
She handed Mack tweezers from the vanity, which Mack used to angle the paper so they could read the latest missive.
You touched her skin with your tainted hand
It’s only mine to feel, on my command
You use their bodies to quench your lust
You take their love and betray her trust
Lustful bitch, you groped her breast
She’ll watch your heart ripped from your chest
It’s her I love and you I hate
Cheating dyke—you’ll learn your fate
Mack pulled her phone from her pocket and requested a crime scene technician while she flipped open her notebook against her knee.
She hung up and stared at Sydney. “I need to tell you something else.”
Syd looked at her expectantly, dreading what she was about to say.
“Jenny found another one on her car this afternoon. I didn’t want to worry you with it until the morning, since up until now, they haven’t been overtly threatening.”
“Yeah, until now. What did it say?”
Mack opened an image of a plastic-covered note on her phone and handed it to Syd.
Need to talk, to make a plan
Map out your life with just one man
Its time you join me for our date
Be sure this time you are not late
I saw the way she abandoned you
Aroused by a whore, her something new
One day you’ll cringe at that one’s touch
Her betrayal of you said so much
“What the hell is this, Mack? This doesn’t make sense. What is he thinking?” She paced the edge of the room, avoiding the knots of glass that would crunch into the floor.
