by Lexi Blake
“Isn’t this supposed to be about finding what I want?” Shelley asked, but the tone of his voice was sinking in.
“It is supposed to be about exploring the lifestyle. I can plainly see we have two different visions of how this works.” He sat down, slumping into his chair and running a hand through his hair. He took a deep breath and rubbed a place on his forehead. When he finally looked back at her, she could see the weariness in his eyes. “You may leave. I’ll explain to Julian that you would prefer someone else.”
He closed his eyes again, obviously dismissing her. It hurt, but he’d been a bit kinder to her than she’d been to him.
“He knows. He’s watching.” And Julian was probably horrified at the way she’d reacted. She’d been exactly what Wolf had said. A brat who saw what she wanted to see. She’d seen a gorgeous body, and not once had she thought about the man inside it. She’d never considered his feelings, as though no one who looked like that could possibly have feelings.
“Well, naturally. I’m sure he’s not the only one.” His mouth turned down, and a grimace came over him.
“Are you all right?” She should probably leave, run away and tend her wounds. She wouldn’t try this again. She couldn’t handle it. But she didn’t want to leave him like this.
“I’ll be fine. It’s the start of a headache. If I handle it now, it won’t turn into a full-blown migraine.” Wolf ground the words out. “If you don’t mind, turn off the lights as you leave.”
She got up and turned off the front light, bringing the brightness down. A single line of illumination was left, and she stared for a moment at the man who could have been her Dom. He was only a man with all the troubles that went with being a man. She was tired of being afraid. She wanted to find the woman she’d been before Bryce, and that Shelley would never have treated anyone the way she had.
She walked behind his chair. “Let me.”
She touched his scalp, running her fingers all along it with a firm pressure. She ran her hands across his skin, feeling the silkiness of his pitch-black hair and a raised, puckered scar that wove across his head. “Is this okay?”
“Took some fire a while back on an op.”
The scar felt somewhat new, probably not more than a few months old. “It feels bad.”
“No, love, it feels really good.” He groaned and gave over to her. His shoulders relaxed and a deep sigh rumbled through him. “The wound, on the other hand, was really bad. They had to crack my skull open. In the field. It wasn’t a pleasant experience. Luckily, I don’t remember a lot of it. They say I never will, and I’m okay with that. I woke up at Ramstein and was told I would live, then some bureaucratic asshole handed me my walking papers.”
Her heart went out to him. “Did you like the Army?”
“The Army sucks.” He chuckled. “I was Navy.”
Again, exactly like Leo. But this man wasn’t Leo Meyer. Leo would never have allowed her to comfort him like this. Leo was always strong. Wolf seemed sweeter, the tiniest bit lost. “Did you like it?”
Leo had left the Navy on his own, and when she’d asked about it, he would always turn the conversation to something else.
“I loved it. I guess I’m still having a hard time reconciling myself with the fact that my career is over.”
She took a deep breath. God, she knew how that felt. She ran her hands to his temples and rubbed, feeling a deep connection to this man who had terrified her. Men were just men, even the beautiful ones. His good looks hadn’t spared him from heartache, hadn’t ensured that his life had turned out perfectly.
“So they dumped you because you got injured?”
He groaned again as she rubbed the top of his head. “Right there, love. Yeah. That’s it. I can’t tell you how good that feels. Yes, that’s what the Navy does. I was no longer useful. In addition to my head injuries, they had to put a titanium rod in my leg. I can’t make it through a metal detector. That makes me useless in undercover work. I wasn’t cut out for a desk job, so I went home and then came here.”
And then a bratty sub had given him more hell. God, would she ever stop screwing up? “If you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to start this meeting over again, Sir.”
He would probably toss her out, but at least she would have tried. “I don’t know that that’s such a good idea. I might be a dumb grunt, but I can put two and two together. Leo mentioned he’d been friends with you. It was more, wasn’t it?”
“Sort of,” she said, confused. Why did he care about the fact that she’d been involved with Leo? “We didn’t have an affair or anything. I was married. He helped my brother, Trev. My brother spent a couple of years here in this club after he lost his career.”
“Julian,” Wolf called out, never once opening his eyes. “Did you bother to tell her anything? You knew I spent the last couple of months working with Trev. You didn’t mention that to her? You really are a manipulative bastard.”
He knew her brother? Wolf had mentioned he was in Colorado, but not that he’d been in Bliss.
The intercom came on, and Julian’s voice came over. “Or perhaps I am simply smarter than everyone else. Make your decision, Wolf. If you won’t do it, I’ll have to find someone else for her.”
His eyes came open, and his hands came up to cover hers. “It’s up to her, but she should know.”
“Know what?”
“Well, at least you should know my last name. I don’t suppose Julian told you that.”
“What’s your last name?” But she had a sneaking suspicion.
“Meyer. Leo is my brother. I know yours. He bought into the ranch I was working at before I came here. He’s a good man.”
Yes. He was a good man. A much better man for having known Leo Meyer. Wolf turned his chair around and took her hands in both of his, warmth enveloping her. Now she could really see it. Wolf was different than his brother, but the similarities were unmistakable. It was there in the long, cut line of his jaw, the cheekbones any male model would kill for, the beauty of his eyes.
But this man seemed more…vulnerable than Leo. Much more open. He obviously needed something, someone, where Leo was a citadel. Leo Meyer was a castle with fortified battlements. Wolf had let down his drawbridge.
“And Leo knows?” She was certain of that. If Leo had wanted to block this, he would have.
Wolf nodded.
Leo Meyer had brought her brother back to life. He’d shown her a world outside the narrow confines of her small town and a bad marriage. She’d burned him. She hadn’t meant to, but she had, and it couldn’t work between them now. She owed him so much.
What if she could help his brother? If Leo didn’t care, why should she turn Wolf down?
Especially when she was so intrigued.
“Okay. What do we do now, Sir? If you’ll forgive me for my tantrum from before.”
A slow, ridiculously sexy smile crossed his face. “With hands like yours, sweetheart, I think I can forgive a lot. Now sit down and let’s go over a few things.”
Her heart actually fluttered in her chest. It occurred to her for the briefest of moments that this was still a horrible idea. He was too gorgeous. He was Leo’s brother.
But Leo had basically thrown her his way. Wolf himself had told her that Leo was perfectly okay with the scenario. If he didn’t have a problem, why should she? Perhaps this was actually what Leo wanted for her. Leo could be every bit as manipulative as Julian.
But in the end, it all came down to one thing and one thing only. Was she ready to move on?
Shelley took a seat across from Wolf. “I’m ready, Sir.”
* * * *
Fuck it all, she was gorgeous. He had no idea what his brother was thinking allowing this woman to get away, but Wolf wasn’t going to make the same mistake. No one had bothered to tell him that the woman his brother had been involved with was the same woman he would be topping. No. No one had thought that was at all important until Leo had made his announcement. Julian had allowed him to fall half in l
ove with a woman who had been involved with Leo.
Julian Lodge was definitely a manipulative bastard, but he wasn’t willing to walk away from her. Leo had said it hadn’t worked out, that they had only been friends. Wolf wasn’t sure he bought that, but it got him thinking. Maybe he could be just as manipulative as Julian Lodge.
“Do you understand the basic contract?” Wolf asked as his brain replayed the last few minutes. He started to go over it, but all he could think about was the fact that she was still here.
He’d been sure she was going to leave. And he would have let her. He wasn’t going to force himself on someone, but he wanted her. Hell, he’d wanted her from the first time Julian had described her.
Lovely. Sweet. Submissive. Smart and sassy. The other three didn’t work for him without the smart and sassy. He didn’t want a slave. He wanted a partner, a lover.
And according to Julian Lodge, Shelley McNamara needed a lover, too.
“What does this mean?” Shelley asked, pointing to a paragraph that described high protocol.
He wasn’t about to make her speak only when spoken to. He drew a line through that. “It’s not something we need to worry about right now. We’ll come up with our own protocol. I want you to be able to ask questions and tell me how you’re feeling. I only ask that when we’re in public, you treat me with every politeness. You are to call me Sir and attempt to obey me.”
She frowned. “In public. So, I have to call you Sir if we’re in a restaurant?”
He hid his smile. He liked the fact that she was already thinking of him outside the club setting. He was damn straight thinking of her. Dating, however, wasn’t covered in the contract and never would be. “This contract only covers The Club, sweetheart. It’s a training contract. If we decide to see each other outside The Club, I wouldn’t expect you to call me Sir. I’m not a twenty-four-seven Dom. I enjoy the lifestyle, and I would love it if you felt comfortable enough to allow me to help you with any problems you might have, but outside of this club, I won’t hold you to any rules we don’t agree on. The only rule that’s not up for discussion is the rule where you call me when you’re in actual physical trouble. You read that clause?”
It was an important one for him. If she found herself in danger, there were protocols that involved him. He’d insisted on it.
She nodded. “So the rest of this is only for…for sex stuff.”
She couldn’t possibly know how that soft Texas twang made his groin tighten. “Not necessarily. It’s about pushing your boundaries and discovering discipline.”
Her nose wrinkled up. “I don’t know how much I like that word.”
Yeah, most people didn’t, but then they didn’t understand what he meant by it. “Then I’ll have to change your mind. You see, you hear the word ‘discipline’ and you think punishment, but I hear it and I have a different definition. Discipline is the art of getting what you want. I wanted to be a Navy SEAL. I didn’t enjoy Hell Week. It was the most miserable I’ve ever been in my life. But it was necessary. We don’t get the things we want by allowing life to happen to us. We have to take an active role.”
She nodded, and he would have sworn he could see a sheen of tears in her eyes. “Yes, I can see that. I allowed things to happen for years. It seems odd to hear a Dom saying that. I don’t know. I guess I would think you want me to be submissive.”
Another common misconception he was happy to clear up. “You are submissive. I can see it. Julian can certainly see it. I suspect you’ve allowed a man who was more dominant than you to walk all over you before. That isn’t what a Dom should do. A Dom should be your partner in helping you reach your potential, even if you never have a moment’s sexual contact. You understand that, right? And this isn’t a one-way street. You’ll help me reach my potential, too.”
She sniffled slightly, and it took everything he had not to pull her onto his lap and try to soothe her. “You’re right about getting walked all over. I should be honest with you. I spent years in a marriage I shouldn’t have stayed in because it was easier than dealing with the fallout. I want to be stronger than that. I want to be in control.”
“And I can help you.”
Julian had mentioned her marriage. It hadn’t taken much to look the story up. Bryce Hughes had been a very bad man. He’d run drugs and a blackmailing ring that used his wife to get dirt on politicians. According to everything he’d been able to discover, Shelley had been exonerated. The feds didn’t believe she knew anything, but that hadn’t stopped them from seizing all of the assets she’d shared with her husband. She’d lost her house, her bank accounts, her reputation.
She needed a steady hand. He would have to put aside his own desires. He really wanted to inhale her. She was exactly the type who flipped his switch, but she needed more than one more man who rubbed his dick on her and gave her nothing in return. She needed someone in control. He could do that.
His dick protested mightily, but he could control that, too.
“So, let’s go over your hard and soft limits.” Yeah, because talking about all the dirty games he loved would get his libido under control. He should have picked up a woman last night to share with Logan, but taking Logan into a bar had seemed like a bad idea.
And he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Shelley. Even before he’d seen her.
She bit her bottom lip as she looked over the long list he’d handed her. “Uhm, I don’t know what some of these are, to tell you the truth.”
“What do you have a question about?”
“I understand the bondage part, and I’m fine with that. I’m willing to try all the toys.” Her skin flushed. “I’m…I’m curious about spanking.”
And he was totally ready to spank her. He’d gotten a glimpse of a round ass before she’d gone on her slightly manic tirade. Her skin was pale. He would have to be careful with her, but he could get that alabaster skin a lovely hot pink in no time at all. And when she was panting and her pussy was dripping wet, he’d find her clit and rub her until she cried out, begging for his cock.
Or he would simply spank her because he’d promised to not take advantage of her.
Maybe he was the masochist.
He forced his voice to remain calm and even, so she hopefully wouldn’t guess that his cock was pounding against his jeans. “I think you’ll enjoy a good spanking. Let’s talk about the bondage for a minute, though. You understand I like to practice an elaborate form of bondage called Shibari, correct?”
She smiled, a bright thing. “Trev is obsessed with it. I walked into the barn at Aidan O’Malley’s ranch at the wrong time once. My sister-in-law was fully suspended in some insane getup my brother had bound her to. Bo was sitting there reading a book to her. He said she’d been a bad girl, but he didn’t want her to be bored so he was reading her one of her favorite romances.” She sobered. “Beth is so much stronger now. She’s happy. She was perfectly happy in what she called her Bondage Barbie wear. Yes, I’m willing to give it a try.”
“Good. One hurdle gone. I prefer not to engage in blood or fire play, but I could find a Master to introduce you to that if you’re interested.” He’d seen enough blood for a lifetime. He didn’t want to cause her to lose a single drop.
She shook her head, a shiver running through her. “No. No blood. I wouldn’t even want to watch that. I think that might be a hard limit.”
He nodded and handed her a pen to mark it off the list of acceptable play. He’d read that she’d been in the same house when her husband had been shot. Had she seen it? Had she watched it and wondered if she was next? He changed the subject. They would get to all of that later when he’d earned her trust. “No extreme play. But I will bind you to a St. Andrew’s Cross, and I will make punishment public if I think it will help.”
She would be beautiful, her arms and legs spread, waiting for the crack of his whip.
She smiled, her lips tugging up enigmatically. “We have different definitions of extreme, but I understand. I’ll try n
ot to earn any public punishment.” Her eyes worked down the page. “What is this? What do they mean by scat games? Please tell me that has something to do with jazz.”
He laughed out loud and marked that as a hard limit. “Not at all, sweetheart. That’s exactly what it sounds like, and neither one of us is going to engage in that. Doms have hard limits, too.”
She breathed a sigh of relief. “And puppy play? Pony play?”
He was going to have to convince her of that. “It’s role playing, sweetheart.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think I want that.”
And it was his job to make her change her mind because he definitely wanted to play with her. “Let me give you a scenario. It’s nothing more than a game where you’re my soft, sweet pet. You eat from my hand, treats I’ll have to reward you for good behavior. You’ll sit at my feet. If I decide you’re a good puppy, I’ll pull you up on my lap and lavish you with affection. And everyone loves a good puppy. Everyone would want to pet you. All those hands, rubbing across your body. Under the watchful gaze of your Master, of course. But a good Master knows a puppy needs love.”
“You’re evil,” she said with a grin, but he could see her flush had changed from embarrassment to arousal. She was starved for affection. Puppy play was an easy way to get many hands on her without having to share her in a sexual way. He wasn’t sure he could do that. Not with strangers.
He’d spent too much freaking time in Bliss.
“That’s my job, sweetheart. Let’s give it a try. There is nothing you can’t stop. I know I’m the Dom, but you’re in control.”
She put a hand to her mouth and laughed. “Yes. Oh my god, I agreed to be a puppy.”
“Yes, you did, but that’s a little down the road.” He would ease her into rougher play. “For tonight, we’ll watch and see what intrigues you. Let’s talk about contact. At this stage, I think it’s best if we agree to no intercourse, but I would like the opportunity to touch you, to bring you to orgasm, to teach you pleasure.”
