by Lexi Blake
“But you married him.” He could still remember the day she’d told him she was leaving him. He’d said all the right things, but if he was honest deep down, he’d been relieved. Their marriage had been a mistake.
“Yes,” she said with that glowy smile of hers, one she’d never had when she’d been married to him. “A happy accident. It turns out that when I did something good for the man I loved, I found the one who loved me, and that’s been the joy of my life. I woke up one day and realized that bald lawyer was the best thing that ever happened to me. And you made that possible. I’ll love you until the day I die for that. But I wish you would wake up and see what you’re doing. You’re running away by standing still.”
He’d called Julian a manipulative bastard, but manipulation was the language of Julian’s love. What if he’d been doing exactly what he’d said he was doing? Trying to make things better for both Leo and Shelley? Guilt assailed him. He’d railed at the man who had given him so much.
And Wolf. Fuck.
Julian had asked him earlier to step back and give his professional opinion of what Shelley needed. What was his professional opinion of himself? If he had a patient with his background and history, what would he think?
He had a deep disconnect that had begun in childhood. Despite the love his mother had managed to give him, the scars of his father’s abandonment ran deep. He’d taken on responsibility for Wolf. He’d been everything to his kid brother, and it had been a relief almost to go into the Navy and only have to worry about himself.
He blamed Wolf. God. Deep down, he blamed his brother for their father walking away.
“You know your relationship with Wolf could dissolve. Do you want that?” Janine asked.
Wolf had been the one he’d sacrificed for. Wolf had been the one who threw it all away by going into the goddamn Navy instead of college.
“I’m still mad at him. Crap, Jan. I didn’t even see it until now. How could I blame him for all that? He didn’t make our dad walk out.”
“Our emotions aren’t logical. You know that. What did you always tell me?” Janine asked, her eyes deep with sympathy.
He knew what she meant, but now the words sounded hollow, though he’d preached them for years—like a pastor who didn’t honestly believe in God. “That sanity is the ability to give and receive love.”
And he’d done neither.
“Leo.” Janine put her hands on the sides of his face, pulling him back to her. “The fact that you’re asking these questions means you might be ready to deal with them. Is this about that woman? Trev McNamara’s sister?”
Damn, Julian had turned into a gossipy old lady. “She was one of my unavailable flirtations.”
Except that he’d offered to take her away. He’d thought of marrying her, and not in the lackadaisical way he’d gone about convincing himself to marry Janine. Passion. Shelley McNamara had been the first time he’d felt a deep and abiding passion for a woman.
“I doubt that,” Janine said. “But no one can make you admit it. Leo, know this. I’ll always be here for you. And I’ll always want the best for you.”
But he could clearly see he’d disappointed her. And she wasn’t the only one.
Shelley stood on the bottom step dressed in a tight miniskirt and a black and crimson bustier. She wore no shoes, and her hair hung down in long, shimmering black tresses. But it was the hurt in her eyes as she looked between him and Janine that had his gut churning.
“Janine? Oh my god!” Wolf didn’t seem to notice the ocean of despair that stretched between Leo and Shelley. He had a huge grin plastered on his face, and he reached out, swinging Janine into his oversized embrace.
Janine laughed, her voice filling the dungeon. “Wolf Meyer, you’re more gorgeous than ever, little brother.”
“Hah, I’m getting old and out of shape. I ran into Big Tag and he told me he’s glad I took the job with Julian because he didn’t hire operatives with potbellies. Such an asshole.” Wolf grinned as he set her down. His hand went back and brought Shelley forward, pride evident in his stance. “Janine, this is my submissive, Shelley. Shelley, this is my sister-in-law, Janine.”
Shelley nodded, her lips curving but without the normal vivaciousness that made Leo’s heart ache. “Nice to meet you.”
“He’s Shelley’s trainer. She’s investigating the lifestyle,” Leo said, the words coming out of his mouth with a stubborn bent. It wasn’t like she’d signed a permanent contract with his brother. They weren’t married or anything. Not even close. As far as Leo knew, there wasn’t even sex written into the contract.
Fuck. Wolf wanted to have sex with her. Jealousy, pounding and nasty, took up root in his gut. But it was all right because Shelley was only training with Wolf.
Except when Wolf’s hand curved around her hip, she leaned into him as though his presence was comforting to her.
“Shelley as in Shelley McNamara?” Janine breathed the words on a hushed, awed sigh.
Shelley nodded. “Yes. I’m sorry. Do I know you?”
Janine smiled, reaching out for Shelley’s hand. “No, dear, but I get the feeling we’re going to have a lot in common. And if the three of you need some therapy after all this, I’ll give you a group rate. Good luck, dears. I’m feeling toppy tonight. I think I’ll give the hubby a few whacks.”
She winked, and he was left alone. With his brother and the only woman he’d ever loved.
Wolf grinned, his oversized paw wrapping around Shelley’s waist. Shelley leaned into him, but her eyes found Leo’s. Silent. Accusing.
“This is going to be a fun night,” Wolf said.
It was definitely going to be a long one.
* * * *
Shelley pulled at the top of her bustier, all of the bravado she’d found while talking to Charlotte gone now. Wolf obviously didn’t understand women’s cup sizes. Or he’d totally misjudged the size of her boobs.
“Stop,” he said, using that dark voice on her. “You look beautiful.”
“My boobs are hanging out. I need a bigger top.” She wouldn’t even go into the micro mini he’d put her in. She could practically feel the cheeks of her ass dropping past the nonexistent hemline of the leather Band-Aid he’d dared to call a skirt.
And to further her humiliation, he looked like some kind of Greek god. Tall and powerfully built, Wolf Meyer stood at least two inches above every other man in the room. His torso looked like Michelangelo had come back from the grave and sculpted it in one last burst of divine inspiration. Charlotte Taggart’s husband was totally wrong about his abs. He didn’t have a six-pack. Oh, no, nothing so ordinary for Wolf. His washboard stomach boasted a full-on outrageous eight-pack, and she wanted to cry over the perfection of the notches at his hips. She could see them because Wolf wore nothing but a pair of low-slung leather pants and his boots.
She looked across the room where Leo stood with someone Wolf had introduced as Logan. Her heart ached at the sight of Leo. Leo was slightly smaller than his brother, but she loved his graceful lines and the way Leo’s long hair hit broad, muscled shoulders.
But she’d heard too much. Leo didn’t want her.
“Hey,” Wolf said, his hand cupping her chin and drawing her face up. She stared into deep, dark-blue eyes. She could get lost in those eyes. “Are you all right? I don’t know what happened between you and my brother, but if this is too much, then I can take you home. Sweetheart, this should be good for you. If I’m some kind of reminder of him or if I’m keeping you from what you really want, then tell me, and I’ll let you go.”
She opened her mouth to say something, but he put a finger on her lips. “Hush. Let me finish. I don’t want to hurt you or Leo. And I don’t want to hurt me, either. I haven’t had a lot of luck lately, and I would rather avoid the craptastic whammy of getting to know you and liking the hell out of you only for you to tell me you’re not interested because you have a thing for another guy. Especially my brother.”
She got the feeling things weren
’t easy between Wolf and his brother. She looked over at Leo, who was involved in what looked to be a teaching moment. It was exactly as Janine had said. She’d walked down ahead of Wolf, who had some paperwork to fill out before they entered the dungeon. She’d heard a lot of the talk between the exes. Leo had saved her. Oh, it hadn’t been complete. He would have preferred to have whisked her away, but he’d tried, and now he thought she didn’t need him.
Was she willing to let Wolf go when what she had with Leo had been more in her head than anywhere else?
“I never dated your brother,” she admitted.
“That doesn’t mean you’re not in love with him.”
True. “I don’t want to be. I let him go a long time ago. There’s nothing between us.” The words hurt, but they were the plain truth. Seeing him with his ex, the sweet way he’d held her hand and talked to her, made everything clear. Leo hadn’t even smiled at her in four months. He was done, and she would be twelve kinds of a fool if she didn’t try with Wolf. “Please, Sir. I want to try this. I can’t promise it will work out. I can only promise that I’ll be open to the experience.”
The smile that crossed his face nearly blinded her. “I will, too, sweetheart. That’s all we can ask. And you don’t need a bigger size.” He looked down, his eyes on her breasts, the heat nearly palpable. “This is perfect. So fucking gorgeous.”
She had the sudden urge to reach up and sink her hands into his barely there hair and pull his head toward her breasts. Where had that come from? Wolf Meyer was doing crazy good things to her ego and her libido.
“Now, let’s get to the fun part of the evening. I want to show you a couple of scenes. You’re going to watch, and then we’ll talk about them and how they made you feel.” He took her hand, threading his fingers through hers. Her small hand was engulfed in his big one. “Come on, sweetheart. Julian’s getting ready to whip Finn. I’ve heard the boss can be hard on him. It should be interesting.”
He started to walk toward the far end of the dungeon, taking her away from Leo. She could breathe again. It was odd how much easier it was to concentrate on Wolf when she wasn’t directly in the same room with Leo. She found herself unaccountably positive for the first time in over a year.
A good portion of the crowd in the dungeon had gathered in front of the raised stage that dominated the far end of the floor. She’d seen it, but never in use. Julian had walked her through the dungeon when he’d given her a tour, but it was different when filled with a crowd of scantily dressed Doms and subs. Wolf made it to the front of the crowd, tugging her along. Though she was jostled back and forth, it seemed that everyone got out of Wolf’s way, as though his stature and presence ensured his status as the alpha male.
“Here we go, sweetheart.” He brought her in front of him, his big body a bulwark against the rest of the crowd.
“Hello,” a deep voice said from just to her left.
She turned slightly and saw a gorgeous man. Times two.
Twin Doms stood to her left, their lovely chests on display. Dark hair hung right below their ears and four perfectly blue eyes stared at her. Well, at her chest. Still, it made a girl feel like she still had it.
“Hi,” she replied, smiling. She noticed a small female between them dressed in a PVC mini dress that covered her from her shoulders to the middle of her thighs. It was fairly circumspect for a skintight dress, with the singular exception of the fact that there were holes cut out of the garment accommodating her small but nicely rounded breasts. She had a thick collar around her neck with a long chain attached. “Hello, Kitten.”
“We’re in charge of her tonight,” the Ken Doll she decided was Dom Number One said. He held Kitten’s leash in his hands but passed it off to his twin.
Kitten turned her pretty green eyes up. They widened as she looked up and up and up at Wolf. “Wow. You’re a very large man. Kitten would love it if you hurt her.”
“Down, Kitten!” Dom Number Two barked, pulling gently on the chain. Kitten whimpered and fell to her knees. Dom Number Two sighed. “Sorry, she gets aggressive when she’s in the dungeon. And if she isn’t good, we’ll make her cover her breasts and take her out to the bar where no one will play with her.”
She didn’t look aggressive. She’d fallen to her knees, her legs spread and her head down. She looked deeply submissive. Dom Number One petted her hair.
“It’s all right, Kitten. Calm down.”
“And while Kitten is de-stressing, you can tell us your name, gorgeous,” Dom Number Two said with a wink.
“Her name is Mine, asshole.” Wolf put an arm around her waist, pulling her back toward his body.
“Nice, brother. I thought you were a boy who liked to share your toys,” Leo said, moving to Wolf’s right.
Damn, she was surrounded by hot guys. Even that Logan fellow had a perfectly cut chest and lovely face. He grimaced and shrugged toward Wolf. “Sorry, man. I bragged about last summer and you and me and James.”
Wolf’s arm tightened. “No problem, man. I don’t mind a good ménage, but I’m not about to offer up my sub. A ménage is something between friends, and they’re not my friends.”
Dom Number One smiled, an easy curling of his fabulous lips. “We could be friends.”
Dom Number Two seemed to be the surlier of the two. “Probably not. I’m not very friendly. Kitten, up.”
Kitten popped up and immediately smiled at Leo. “Hello, boss.”
Leo nodded. “Good evening, Kitten. Are Ben and Chase treating you well?”
Kitten’s eyes slid away as she replied. “Yes, Sir. But they won’t hurt Kitten. They say Kitten hasn’t been good enough. This big man looks like he could hurt a sub. Kitten would like to try fire play, Sir. Would you talk to the large, attractive man about burning Kitten?”
Yeah, Kitten had issues.
“Sorry, man. I tried to tell her she wasn’t cleared for that. Big Tag and Charlotte are all about the fire play right now,” Dom Number One said. “I thought they were doing private play parties while New Sanctum is being built.”
“Charlotte doesn’t want to hang out in Li’s garage or something, so they’re sneaking in here,” Dom Number Two explained. “I sent a text to Adam about Tag cheating. Didn’t say anything else, so that should cause some chaos. And I tried to explain to Kitten that he’s not actually burning his submissive. He likes his balls too much to do that to Charlotte.”
Leo leaned forward. “Kitten, until Miss Janine clears you for play, all Julian will allow is two spankings a night. You know the rules. You don’t want to upset Finn, do you?”
Kitten’s head shook. “No. Kitten loves Finn. But you’re all wrong, you know. Kitten is not crazy. Kitten is just more perverted than the rest of you. One day you’ll see.” She turned her eyes up to Wolf. “And Kitten really would like to play with you, Sir. What’s your name?”
“His name is Mine, Kitten.” The words came out before Shelley could think about them. But they felt right. Kitten apparently got chatty when she chucked her day clothes. She’d never heard Kitten able to put so many words together without stammering.
She could practically feel Wolf’s satisfaction. “Sorry, Kitten. I have a sub. And the name is Wolf. Wolf Meyer. Though I do go by Mine where Shelley is concerned.”
She thought she heard Leo say something about vomiting.
Julian Lodge stepped through the crowd, Finn and Dani at his sides.
“I love it when all my boys get along,” Julian said. He nodded Shelley’s way. “You look lovely, dear.”
Finn winked. He was wearing leathers but no shoes. “That top fits you perfectly.”
“By perfectly, he means it makes your boobs fall out.” Dani wore a modified version of fet wear that showed off her lovely belly. And her boobs did, indeed, seem to be falling out.
But now that Leo was close, she felt a bit self-conscious again.
“Oh, little one, if I’ve properly judged Master Wolf here, before long she’ll simply be naked,” Julian sa
id with a smile. Her whole body flushed at the thought, but Julian continued. “Master Wolf seems to be a man who likes to share the beauty of his sub with those around him.”
Wolf’s hands cupped her shoulders. “I don’t think she’s ready for that, Julian.”
“Oh, but one day she will be,” Julian assured him. “She’ll find that sharing her beauty is a wonderful thing.”
Dani grinned. “Yes, sharing is good, Master. And from what I’ve heard, Master Wolf is a ‘sharing’ kind of person.”
Shelley looked up, and Wolf had flushed slightly, his eyes narrowing on Logan.
“Sorry, man. I thought it was fine to talk about it. I mean, have you seen where we are?” Logan asked.
“Dude, discretion,” Wolf shot back. “Have you told everyone?”
Logan shrugged. “I’m surrounded by crazy threesomes, man. It seems normal to me. When Dani there asked about my life in Bliss, I thought she was asking about the kinky stuff.”
“You’re in a threesome?” Shelley asked, her jaw dropping open. And he hadn’t bothered to mention that?
“No. I’ve never had a permanent threesome,” Wolf replied quickly.
“Just a whole bunch of short-term ones,” Logan supplied helpfully.
“Wolf, you’ve spent too much time in that town,” Leo said, his mouth firming to a flat line.
“I like Bliss,” Wolf admitted. He looked down at Shelley. “And your brother is in a happy threesome. You probably shouldn’t judge.”
“I wasn’t judging, Sir.” But she was thinking.
“And she did put down ménage on her list of sexual fantasies,” Julian added. “It was one of the reasons I decided Master Wolf would be perfect.”
“Julian, hello, perfect sharing twosome right here,” Dom Number One said.
Julian turned to the twin Doms, bowing slightly. “I apologize, Benjamin. I hadn’t heard you and Chase were seeking a permanent submissive. I will immediately begin looking for the perfect woman.”
Dom Number Two, who she’d figured out was named Chase, turned a nice shade of green. “Don’t you dare, Julian. Monogamy. The word makes me sick.”
